Can "rape" occur in SL?

Can I get that on a tee shirt do you think?


..or ... "both my contact lenses have fallen out. Are you still there, or have I just invited an empty chair back for some rumpy-pumpy?"

Yes humans have several kinds of communication, but in SL we only have speech (text for the time being). So unless consent is given in text, there can be no consent. It is a simple as as IM exchange of the noob mating call (Wanna XXXX) and the reply. Yes even in public sims, even with a naked AV on a poseball. Does this question always have to be asked, no, but that is between two people who know each other and have already given consent as part of the relationship and both are active online not AFK.

It seems this thread is hung up on trying to establish which one is at fault, the naked babe on the poseball or the guy who took advantage of the situation. Why does it have to be either/or? She was either an idiot or a case of "the lady doth protest too much," and he was a cad.

And as for whether it was virtual "rape:" Rape is forced sex against her will. This was not forced; it was a case of absence of consent in dodgy circumstances. Probably qualifies for some lesser charge, like sexual assault. It's not like trapping an attended and obviously unwilling avatar and demanding sex as the price of release in hopes the victim is naive about escape. Actually, since it is all just pixels, I think the rug case qualifies as just very bad manners myself - not for topping the unattended avatar, but for bragging about it with pics to the av owner afterward. The only thing he could have done worse, probably, is waiting around and telling the avatar owner he didn't want to have sex with her avatar...

In all of life, there is risk. To an extent you can minimize the risk of things that happen.

But when someone commits a criminal act against you, reguardless of risk you placed yourself in - they are the ones committing the criminal act. They have CHOICE, they chose to offend against you.

This is core to understanding how criminal acts take place. Without accepting this, victims have trouble living with the guilt. The guilt they get becuase they blame themselves for what happened.

I will not, ever, accept your position on this simple fact. I used to think like that. I managed to learn it is not that way.



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Now its easy to say "well online its not a crime, and so its not very bad." Okay, Its not all that bad. Its harassment. Its whatever the semantics police choose it to be. But as to who is responsible for what took place, it works the same way.

In an Ideal world where everyone respected each other, and people didnt offend against each other, nothing would have happened to someone like Sara. Becuase she was the harrased, not the harasser.

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I think those who are gray on the area of Consent have no business participating in Rape Roleplay.

Since the primary justicification of Rape Role Playing being allowed is it is Always Completely Consentual.

Then that consent must be absolutely assured.

i'm the insult queen. remember that.

This is a lesson on how to be absolutely sure the girl wants sex.

Men, take note, and you too can avoid all grey area and accusations.

How to Get Consent

Queen or not, being offensive is against CS and the forum rules .. please remember that!

again, i did say believe as you wish. and i stand behind my answers. my position is just that, MY position. applying RL trauma(and i do have a heart, whatever it is or was i am sorry to anyone who has had this happened to them RL)to a virtual atmoshpere, is IMO not viable. those cannot separate the fantasy of others from the real trauma of what happened to them, either need to, stay out of places that participate in those activities, or delete SL from your computer and move on.

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the only crime involved here in SL is the fact that a bunch of pedophiles were engaging in pixel sex. im all for banning them. children should not be used as objects for anothers sexual pleasure. but to ban all activities for the actions of a few sick people is silly. im not going to respond to the sara thing anymore until sara clarifies where she was during the "attack"
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i do not know if you have tried this or not. in any Rp sim, once You hit the Welcome area. you get a popup, which explains the rules of that sim. once you step into that sim you agree to the terms and rules regarding the RP in that sim(unless you are wearing an observer tag). to ignore those rules, and just walk in makes you fair game. there was a post on another thread regarding a preacher who went into a video store, walked into the clearly marked Adult section and rented a movie for two days, then protested that the video store needs to be shut down due to HIS actions. my point? no one needs to be told how to, or what to, do in thier SL. if they have "grey areas" then the best way to deal is to have them go to the RP Resource Center where they can read up on the different choices of RP w/o having to be at the actual RPS themselves. then let THEM make the choice.

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nods i can see it now; New at Xcite! the Pop up consent form, Lawyer extra!

I didn't say it was rape, that is a gray area, but that kind of conduct would get the jerk banned from my public sims.

Agreed!

But consent is expressly given when the AV crosses over into the "hot" zone of the sim. In agreeing to follow the rules, the AV is giving clear consent, so Colette's standards are being met. But actively entering a RP sim is far different than being AFK on a poseball. Even if the AV is active if you are not in a RP area, asking for consent is the only proper thing to do.

i agree with You. however, sara never said WHERE she was regarding this incident. if it took place in her home, the by all means AR the jerk. if it happened in a public area of SL, still a jerky move by the guy, but hey lesson learned, if it happened on a sim where sex is the norm...well you see where im going with this. by entering the Hot Zone, you have given consent to any and all RP of that sim.

the reason i do not say its rape is because in this setting, you have a bit more freedom( unless you leave your ava naked on a sex gen rug in a questionable area) to respond to your harasser. be it by tping away, insulting his intelligence etc;. in rl you dont have that option. reacting the same way to an attacker RL as you would in SL will make it worse.if not get you killed.

Like I said in a reply to another post, I am not sure I would call it rape, but should it be a bannable offense? In my opinion yes, even in areas where sex is the norm, I would qualify that with the previous consent given by entering a forced sex RP area, the key in that being the RP. I haven't been to Hard Alley in many many months but they used to require consent.

I was not applying RL trauma. I was comparing to RL circumstances. It was others who made the trauma claims.

Theres a big difference between comparing circumstances and trauma.

I was comparing circumstances becuase its necessary to determine consent - since consent is based on RL patterns of behavior.

I think people on the forums try to paint a rosy picture of "role- play"

Theres two basic kinds of role play in Second Life.

There is serious Role-playing where the participants are dedicated to enacting scenes of drama involving their characters. For them Rape Play is like a scene in a play or a movie, or acting out a portion of life. Its between people who through the flow of the Role Playing have arrived at certain circumstances and are playing them through.

Then there are the gamers. The consider Role Playing a bunch of scripted weapons and gizmos that do stuff. To them capture and Rape-Play is a GAME. They obviously often have a very low opinion of how people may feel about themselves in Second Life. If they also feel that Consent is a game; which is a vibe thats coming across, then this is an issue.

not if you enter into a RP sim that states that Fantasy Rape is a part of that sims RP. does the guy who did what he did to the naked ava deserve an AR? yes. but only if He invaded her home to do what he did. should it be a bannable offense? no. as another poster put it: her actions were idiotic. but to ban someone for anothers poor call is not right. not unless he has made a habit of it.

Do not confuse force with violence. If someone does something to another's body without that person's consent, then the first person is using force upon the second person.

Further, the "absence of consent" is the same thing as "no consent."

Are you unsure if something you want to do is against someone else's wishes? Ask. The best way to be sure if you have someone's consent is to ask for, and receive, that consent.

Let's look at our trusty Black's Law Dictionary.

Rape: "Unlawful sexual activity (esp. intercourse) with a person (usu. a female) without consent and usu. by force or threat of injury."

Force (verb): "To compel by physical means or by legal requirement."

Consent: "Agreement, approval, or permission as to some act or purpose, esp. given voluntarily by a competent person."

Agaisnt the will: "Contrary to a person's wishes."

umm ima a gamer, and i do participate in a sim where fantasy rape can happen. however the sim owners have strict guidelines regarding that. if the story fits the scene, the play it out. if it doesn't respect that persons wishes( or if You have a DCS, which i do) you can red flag the "play". those who only come for the combat are quickly told, and schooled in how the RP works. if they continue the unwanted behavior they are banned.

in the case you are using above, you are blaming most for the actions of a few. i have no rosy picture regarding role play. its just that, role play. and to say that only:



is a kind of backhanded insult to those out there who do take thier RP seriously. i for one do ask myself if my char is viable to a certain plot, and if what is happening to and around her, in a current RP thats happening. if it is i react as my char would do. but to say that not all RP is serious or is full of "gamers" is not cool.

Let's see, I've played roleplaying games for about 25 years, and roleplayed on the internet for 15 years. Interestingly enough, the issue of roleplayed rape has never come up in a regular, in-person roleplaying game. Raping characters seems to only become a serious roleplaying issue on the internet.

But even on the internet, even after considering that everyone playing has consented to the rules, and the rules include allowance for characters to take adverse actions against other characters, when it comes to sexual violence I have at least seen serious roleplayers say this:

"OOC: Are you okay with this?"

It's fine if a group of consenting adults want to have a pretend rape. I don't think that the fact that it's "roleplaying" or "pretend" or "virtual" creates any sort of "gray areas." Double-checking that someone has given consent is quick to do. Just ask. I've seen it done. It's part of basic common sense to adults who have a basic level of sensitivity for the people with whom they interact.

when you enter the welsome area of a RP sim, does it not state in the pop up that this may be happenign or may happen? if it does and you enter anyway, you HAVE given consent. whether you choose to gloss over that matter in that sims RP rules, is not the sims fault. they gave them to you to read. it is up to YOU to choose if you wish to participate. once you cross over into the "hot zone" consent is given.

Not all RP is serious.

Many RP sims include a lot of "gamers", by which I mean to say those who feel the scripted goodies are the role-play.

I cleary defined what *I* meant by gamer. If your definition of Gamer is different, I fail to see how Im insulting you.

In a strict RP sim I guess I can agree with you. I 've never done any RP myself so I don't know how that stuff works. But in a General Sex Club , one that isn't dedicated to a particular fetish, even if you are sitting on a poserug naked, wouldn't you want a potential partner to ask if you want to have sex with him/her? Or is going into these place saying you will have sex with anyone who comes up, no questions asked?

Is it possible to have the "rules of the sim" handed out to everyone entering the sim by any means? I know it's possible to have a notecard given out if an avatar passes over a specific area. But what if someone TPs you in? You could be appearing at any location in the sim. And what do you do about people who have the option turned off that notecards automatically open on a screen when given?

I've landed in and looked around quite a few "RP Sims" in which I was not given any sort of rules when I appeared, and it took me a while to figure out what the nature of the sim was.

if it is clearly stated that that what it is, yes. if its ambiguous in its definition, then yes consent needs to be given. but consider those that come to those places and dont leave your ava naked on a pose ball.