Another relationship thread

Not true! Perhaps "some" or even "many" people are not the same online as offline but I for one am the same, and know many others who are the same on or offline as well.

Having been online in various mediums since the early 1980's, one gets better as time goes along detecting who is sincere and who isn't. When I first went online, I naively thought that since I was exactly who I portrayed myself to be everyone else did as well. I have the bumps, bruises and scars that show I learned that lesson, but along the way I met a lot of extremely wonderful people as well. Many of these people I met RL.

One of the most fun things I recall from way back when was a group of us from a social IRC chat channel who all lived in the same city getting together for lunch one Sunday. We did not use our names when we met, instead putting them in a bowl. After about an hour of chatting (WITHOUT using our names), each of us pulled a name from the bowl and, based on how the person presented themselves online plus the last hour of RL, face-to-face conversation, we tried to correctly match the name we pulled from the bowl with the person.

This group became great friends. We met monthly to go dancing. Then people on our IRC channel who traveled to our city for business or pleasure heard about our meetings and when they were in town, we would get together to meet them as well. I dated a couple of the guys in the group and although no longer in a dating relationship, am still great friends with one of them after 15 years or so.

Another example are friends I made from an online diary. Once again it just happened that I met several people there who live in my city or travel to it frequently. I have several good friends I met there from about 8 years ago.



Again, broad brush statement. I've been dumped by a couple of guys from RL that I met *in* RL - no online interaction involved - that just quit calling. Again, *some* people will do this online more than they would offline due to the anonymity factor, but jerks are jerks on or offline.

There is some wisdom in not letting people in one's heart too soon, on or offline, but personally, I would rather err more on the "trusting/naive" side than "cold/distant."

Both Arkady and Czari have good points.

Yes, it's wise not to trust too much, too soon, and to shelter your heart a bit...because you can get hurt. And that's true in RL or SL.

On the other hand, there are so many wonderful potential friends out there, and if you aren't willing to open up, you'll miss out on some of the best of them.

As perilous as it is, with all its anonymity, it's even possible to find love in a virtual world. I've done it, many of my friends have done it. Not easy, not without risk. A lot of us have been hurt, sometimes very deeply, sometimes more than once.

Even one success is worth all the failures.

Well said, Mickey. And, you don't have to "toss it out"...sometimes it gets drawn out from you and when it does you have to decide to let it happen or to pull it back. And, sometimes you win and sometimes you can be hurt due to things totally beyond either partner's control. The question is, will you let it happen or will you act in self defense? It's up to each of us.

In world relationship = oxymoron

We're back to ways in which you can tell the rl orientation of posters again . . .

Pep ( . . . hope triumphing over experience?)

And just what do you suppose you can infer from my post? Betcha $L5 it's wrong.

This. SO this.

-Ris (Who's been hurt and hurt more than once, but who still tries with all her heart)

I think Rizzy just answered your question.

Pep (I don't need to.)

Uh-oh. I hate it when I do things without even knowing it!

That's the problem with having so many alts . . .

Pep ( . . . you forget you are answering your own questions.)

PS Damn - I meant to post this as Brenda!

Wait, who am I?