Are you looking forward to Forum reforms?

No. No wait... yes, YES!

I'm sorry again Coco, but that is symantics. The things you listed as hideous were not as much of a personal attack as telling someone that they had some kind of problem that needed to be solved by changing their lifestyle. Which is what get a life means.

You still haven't responded to this, so I will post it again:

From: Seth Kanahoe

Thank you for spewing sense into this thread.

April, I'm giving it at least the weekend before I make my comments on the poll outcome.

coco

And as to what I said to Enabran, well, despite people's expectations of me, there is a limit to what I will listen to without saying something back. I may be a nice person, but I'm not a doormat.

I'm sorry to keep writing about this, but I really, really want you to understand this one. Because I know you are a beautiful, warm, caring person who wants to be helpful. No one has expectation of you Coco that is any different then the expectations of everyone else.

All I am asking is that you see that what motivates you to say such things are the same thing that motivates others to say what you perceive as an attack. If you think you are justified by lashing out, then you must see that the other person feels justified by lashing out.

When I was 16, I started my first job. I worked hard and thought I was doing well. My boss critisized some things I had done and I went home to my mother in tears. I said "others do worse things than what I do, and do not try as hard as I do." I have never forgotten what she told me that day. It took me some time to fully understand. But once I grasped it, it was like an eye opener and now, 27 years later, it still is one of the best piece of advice I'd ever received. She said, "you can only be concerned with what you do. You can't be concerned or control what happens with others. Just be the best April you can be.

It sounds so simple and corny but it has never failed me. At work or in my personal life or in public.

P.S. There is no limit. I have listened to the most horrible things being said to me and in some cases I've just turned around and offered the person a virtual hug.



A proud member of PIC = Pudding Inner Core
__________________

Then you are a better person than I am, April. I've had it with it and from now on I'm reporting people.

coco

Actually, I'm willing to give people who take an unpopular stand against a vocal and overwhelming majority a small pass on certain kinds of behavior. It's very tough to be in that position, and very easy to overreact. And I value minority positions greatly, even if I don't necessarily agree with them - they make me think, and they tend to offer a valuable alternative to the herd.

Of course, there are those who take the minority position to a destructive extreme, and I don't give them a pass. But I think in this case, the majority has been energized by fears of the rise of another ProCrowViev, and are focusing far too much bile on someone who is closely associated with him. I don't care for some of the things Cocoanut has said. But I don't care for some of the things others have said to and about her, either.

So, to my mind, lecturing Cocoanut on her behavior lacks credibility - or perhaps has similar credibility to Cocoanut lecturing to the majority. The question of who said what to whom first is pretty weak in most cases; usually the pox belongs on both your houses.

It's a shame that a lot of people on another thread responded to Cocoanut's proposals by bringing up her past behavior rather than responding to the specific points. It hasn't done much for the majority's credibility, because - whether I agree with her or not - her initial proposals seemed like a sincere effort to explain and justify her point of view.

Coco, I'm hugging you with all my might. Please do report, it will make you feel so much better. And it will help make the forums a better place.

Good luck tonight and I'll look forward to having your Benshee meet my Benshee.

I'm sorry Seth if I came off as lecturing, I didn't mean to lecture her behavior. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. And Coco, I'm sorry if I seemed to be lecturing, that wasn't my intention.

Coco is my friend and I was trying to be helpful.

Again, I apologize to Coco, and I thank Seth for bringing this to my attention.

From: Seth Kanahoe

Thank you for spewing sense into this thread.

April, I was not speaking or thinking about you when I wrote my last response in this thread. Far from it; you've been a model of restraint, balance, and courage of conviction, IMO.

How does the comments of 2 or 3 posters in any way affect the "majority's" credibility? Is 3 people a majority? Enough with the lumping already.

I'm not going down that bullshit road with you or anyone else, Chip. Take it elsewhere.

How is that bullshit, Seth? I asked a serious question. What do the comments of a couple of people in that thread have to do with this supposed majority?

Is Seth the Watcher ninja deleting again?

Yep. I should remember to quote

Ah, seems to be my turn now, eh?

It's called self-censorship, Nolan. Sometimes it occurs to me that what I just wrote wasn't the best thing I could have said, and if that happens a minute or two after I post it, I go back and delete it and either replace it or let it go.

You should try it. I know it'll work for you.

Chip, my original sentiment stands. Nothing I said in the above post was insulting, controversial, or deserved "debate". A mere statement saying - "this is how it strikes me". You want to debate Cocoanut's proposals, or your own, great. Happy to do it. You want to create a little drama about something you perceive as a pesonal insult, take it somewhere else. I decided several things a couple of months ago: I'd give an opinion where I felt strongly about something, I'd defend the opinion when the questions were serious and sincere, and I'd try to avoid other people's drama games.

So perhaps I was too quick to self-censor this time. As I said in the post I deleted - back off.

Ummm, Seth? What the hell are you talking about? My question still stands. How do the comments of 2 or 3 people constitute a majority? The majority on this issue? The "majority" as in the "popular kids"? There's probably no regular on this forum that doesn't hold a minority opinion about some topic or another. Some people are so in love with the underdog minority (whatever that is) that they like to throw around words like majority or mob or other bits of hyperbole that really have no meaning in a forum populated by individuals with individual opinions. Is there some reason why you're being so hostile?

oops, forgot to quote again... in case you delete once more.

You're a sweet person, April!

coco

P.S. And no, you've never been condescending to me when offering your sincere advice. I'm proud to have you as a friend.

Oh oh! Now it's tough guy Seth. I dunno which I like better, the one who waxes academic - political and historical references, etc., like some sage hermit on his hill, or tough guy. I will have to think on it.

I delete before I even hit the reply button sometimes - I don't post and delete. And I certainly don't post multiples in a row, and then delete them. So I guess my self-censorship is a little more intact than yours, pious one.

Your thinly veiled bias is showing again Seth, no matter how many vague little disclaimers you add in to your posts.

If you don't like having reality pointed out, in this case the reality that you let fly sharp-tongued replies, and then delete them afterward, don't make it reality by doing it.

It's sort of like fleeing the scene of an "accident", and then admonishing others after getting into "accidents" because they didn't flee...

buh buh buh buh but I like Seth.

I hope the majority doesn't form a Seth mob. I might have to think for myself then!

I listen to everything Seth says and follow it religously.

You meant the Egyptian god Seth (aka "He Before Whom the Sky Shakes", yes?

i have had to ninja delete my replies to ninja seth! seth raises the sl forum from the ranks of unskilled hobbies.

so how did this one end? did i win?

Hmmm, I guess it was Seth's turn.

coco

The 500th post takes all.

This thread is like Joan Rivers.





IT REFUSES TO DIE!!!