SL Forums: Whose Culture is it Anyway?

Hooray! I win the forums! (where's the woo hoo smiley?)

I can't be bothered to read back to the first page - is anyone trying to restrict my vocabulary by preventing me from swearing now?

What I don't like is ignorant people accusing someone, especially my husband, of sexual harrassment. If I thought you actually knew what the term meant, and were accusing him of real sexual harrassment, you and I would have a much, much bigger issue here. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt by assuming you have no clue what sexual harrassment is, because otherwise, it would be libel.

Stand up to him all you want, but don't pull your typical bullshit of trying to nail yourself to the cross and using him as the hammer by claiming you've been subjected to something you don't even know the meaning of. You're either a disengenuous, libelous liar, or Dogberry.

Fuck no, swear away, Ordinal

Good. I was just going to suggest what they could do with a dead dog's cock, but apparently that won't be necessary.

uhh...

ok... the TOS applies for everyone.

Now, this is the part where some forum posters would add some expletive remarks, for the sake of making remarks.

The TOS applies for you, me and everyone else.

I'm shirtless btw, would that be a violation of the TOS... probably not but it would get a frown from folks because of the exposed frontal nudity.

OMG, i forgot what i was talking about, anyway, what is it about SC that you like so much? do you run faster with the knife?

inquiring minds want to know.

OK, I understand that this is the logical thinking about it. But I AM female. And to me, it is intimidating.

That's just the way it is.

The only way it could NOT be intimidating, in fact, is if the recipient were inclined to respond in kind. And fewer women are (for very sensible reasons in the real world, such as staying alife).

Therefore, someone calling another resident a "douchebag" is equivalent to me hanging around the men's room in a factory. It is not a place where I belong, . That's why I hate it on these forums.

It maybe SHOULDN'T be sexually harrassing, logically, but it is; that is its effect. It is sexually agressive language. A case was made to me night before last that calling someone a "c***-sucker" is equally sexual harassment. Now that had never occured to me. He pointed out that it was a putdown of a guy AND of gays all at once. Thinking about it, I realized I had never heard it applied to a female, and he was probably right.

It is intimidating and sexually harassing, this sort of language, to me and to others, whether or not that makes logical sense.

coco

Good point, I bet it did. I've been in similar situations where you know you want to come up with a polite politically correct way of saying something but the four letter words just fit the moment. So again, I guess it all comes down to timing.


EDIT: Oh and btw, this whole thread has just about turned into a "you pushed me first" battle and while it's mildly amusing... i'm not really sure its what Surreal was looking for when he asked the question. How about getting back on track and not making things personal? Just a suggestion, shutting up now.

Indeed. If only you'd provided it back when you were pretending to be better than you are. Would have saved everyone a whole lot of trouble.

Still, gratifying in its own way today.

Why is it when Ordinal says something like that in a lovely British accent, it sounds almost complimentary, but if I said it in my New Yorkese, it would sound so much less so?

woah... what a load of crap. Amazing signature post tho... might just proof read it and check for typos! *thumbs up*

BTW my inworld pal Typhin Hauptmann asks if "Bollocks" falls into sexual harassment?

Yes, it was in a PG zone!

But that is what this is supposed to be!



I'm willing to agree with you on that - insofar as they are unable to define it, despite having defined it in the TOS. And although other places and forums do manage to rather easily enforce a PG13 rule.

For whatever reasons, it isn't being enforced here, in the slightest, and that's a bad message to send. Better to get rid of the rule.

coco

P.S. Surreal, that is my point - this IS defined as a PG zone!

Too bad.

You don't get to redefine sexual harassment.

"work" is a four letter word... eep! :x

/me shuts up now

http://www.erenkrantz.com/Humor/SevenDirtyWords.shtml

Class and gender are part of it for some, but I think the real yardstick is exposure, and the intent of that exposure.

Fade and Siggy both brought up using the C-Bomb conversationally. To them, it's an every day word, no more offensive or shocking than any other colorful word, because they've been exposed to it in ways that aren't negative. But to someone who grew up in a household where an abusive father screamed it at their mother, for instance, it's going to have a far more negative impact.

If someone is exposed to cursing every day, in a neutral way, the words lose their power, and their stigma. I come from a very colorful and opinionated family, who openly express themselves and debate everything under the sun, so very little in language is shocking to me. Words are words are words. To someone who didn't grow up around cursing or colorful expression, or who grew up with them used as verbal-abuse, the same words and phrases that don't even cause me to blink are going to raise eyebrows at the least, and deeply offend at the worst.

I think we're approaching the heart of the matter. It's intimidating and sexually harassing to you. It's about your culture and your perceptions and your personality. Your "filter" if you will. I have no objection to you saying you feel intimidated and harassed. I object to you saying that everyone else has to act based on how you feel.

We all have a filter. I may be very offended by something that doesn't bother you at all. I have no more right to tell you to stop doing something permitted by law because it bugs me than anyone else does.

I do have a pet peeve. I wish you would stop speaking for "others." No one in the world can speak for anyone else. I'm an other and I don't agree with you. You can only speak for yourself. IMO using "we" "everyone" "others" is about seeking validation, rather than standing on your own. It's a ways to wiggle out of responsibility for an opinion later if it turns out to be unpopular. Maybe I'm especially sensitive to it, because I had to break the habit.

Well, then, let's not call it sexual harrassment. I'll just say "I feel intimidated by sexually coarse language." I'm not going to argue the point much.

Where I am coming from with it, also, is this from the TOS:

Harassment
Given the myriad capabilities of Second Life, harassment can take many forms. Communicating or behaving in a manner which is offensively coarse, intimidating or threatening, constitutes unwelcome sexual advances or requests for sexual favors, or is otherwise likely to cause annoyance or alarm is Harassment.

I feel intimidated by it. Maybe you think I'm not supposed to. But the fact that a man is talking to me that way makes it all the more intimidating.

coco

Well listen, talking to a woman in sexual intimidating terms who doesn't wish to be talked to that way IS sexual harrassment in my book.

But I'm willing to go with your logic of it.

coco

/me is offended

feminist pig, you shouldn't treat men that way ;.;

Not intimidated enough to put him on ignore, or to not follow him around the forums and bring him up every chance you get... Not intimidated enough to not challenge him to join another forum to continue further ...just intimidated enough to let everyone know you're intimidated, and he's a big ole scary man.

No, it absolutely does NOT apply to everyone.

What I like about SC so much is the fact that there is no TOS, to speak of, and so everyone is on an equal footing. To be themselves, and to voice their opinions without fear or intimidation.

What I liked about Stratics (and hope to like in the future, now that they have Stratics SL), is that they do apply their TOS equally to everyone - at least as far as is humanly possible.

coco

Tit for Tat - running around every single thead I post in collecting quotes etc. is harrasment.

I think moreso because it is actually directed at me - in your lil list of gems I don't see many that are directed at you

And yet you called Siggy out to an alternate venue so you could "fight without one arm tied behind your back" is I believe how you put it. If you don't wish to be spoken to that way, why in the world would you be inviting more of it? I don't believe you're intimidated. Any person, again male/female, who is truly intimidated would not be begging for a no-holds-barred confrontation with their tormentor.

Ok - where have I done this to you Coco.. wheres the proof?

Diggin it deeper.