Top 10 Signs...

Doubts in the back of my mind are just that...in the back of MY mind...and never to be expressed outloud. And quite the opposite..I always assume most people in SL do not use voice and always type unless I'm with my friends. I'd never presume to insist on voice to anyone and I'm sorry you took that the wrong way.

Normally I would have never posted anything in this forum that is contrary to popular opinions...back to lurkdome

That's a fair enough point of view if you want to have it, but it does ignore a *very* real aspect. I'm sure we've all seen the joke drawings of big, beefy, sweaty men in dirty vests pretending to be females and typing girly stuff to each other. It's funny when it's drawn like that, but it does highlight a very real aspect. As a man, there absolutely no way in the world that I would want to be 'personal' with a female if it was actually a real male on the other keyboard. If I'm going to be 'personal' at all, it really has to be with a female, because I've never been 'personal' with a girl without it being meant; i.e. never as a joke thing to do. I *do* need to feel confident that we are a male and female pair, and I don't think that I'm unusual about that.

Unfortunately, we hear that plenty of men pretend to be women, so I don't jump at apparent females just because they have female avatars. (I'm going back in time here, because I haven't been inclined to get 'personal' with an avatar for a very long time, anyway).

We sometimes see posts about it. There was a thread not long ago where a male/female, long term relationship turned out to be 2 females - one had been playing a man, and the other wasn't best pleased, to say the least, when she discovered it. We know it happens. We think that there are plenty of people pretending to be of the opposite sex, and most people really do not want to be 'personal' with a person of the same sex, regardless of the avatar genders. So it's not surprising that, since it is easy to show what gender we are, some people actually want to feel assured in that way.

I have no problem with your attitude, Ceka, but, because of those those reasons, I do find it to be not the best way of looking at it. I can understand the thought, "How dare you even suggest that I may not be female!? I was born female, etc. etc.", and taking offense at the very idea because nothing could be further from the truth, but it's not realistic thinking - unfortunately.

I have no webcam or mic for my computer, plus I would not want the intrusion into the illusion. I am 50 but my avatar certainly isn't, my voice sounds nothing like my avatar's should.

I have a small, close group of freinds and we may not speak or see each other for a month or more at times while at other times we spend talking for hours. No one in the group has ever expressed a burning desire to have proof what sex, race or even species the others are, although there maybe some doubts as to planet of origin for some group members, myself included.

If I had to use voice, that wouldn't bother me, but being on a webcam doesn't do anyone justice, especially me. I look sooooooooo......messy

Au contraire. My webcam makes me look a helluva lot better than I actually look - and even my webcam image looks awful

But the RL you is identical to the new avatar pic you've put here, sweetheart, so a webcam image could be poor for you by comparison.

Awwww......ty

Hi Ashe, this is a funny post! I had to relate a story that happened to me the other day..

I was mucking about in my shop when this barbie-bombshell av popped in, a giantess with big boobs and a really slick looking oiled up skin in a fluo bikini. We got to chatting about some of my products, and the customer says "these sculpties are giving me a hard on!" followed by a few very male comments along the same lines. Is this something a chick would say? me thinks not but then again maybe I was being played. Was it a chick playing a guy with a chick avatar? very possibly

I have gotten to the point where I just take everything at face value.. if some of my friends are wearing a female av I might say 'hey ladies' even though I know it is not true never 'luv' or 'hun' though. It hurts my brain too much if i try to go beyond appearances, and tend to think of the person on the other end of the avatar as "hey you" more than anything else.


-w

Hello Why

I tend to think of the flamboyant, over-the-top ones as guys. Although, like you, it's too hard to try and figure out. Besides, really doesn't make a difference to me unless it goes beyond friendship....until then, whatever floats their boat

On a side note, did a flyby over your place yesterday -- looking good. Hopefully, mine won't be so bare after this weekend.

Ashe

Personal relationships are one thing, you should know as much about each other as necessary, but as far as general SL friends go for me, if someone needs to have me prove anything to them, then they will not be on my friends list any longer so the point will be moot.

Relationship, yes I agree.

Personal conversation? Mmmm, not so much....unless directly asked.

Wait...is that in my inventory??

This opinion very popular with tutors. And me as well when Im in the classroom or being shown how to do something complicated. Is the only time I use voice.

wow, you drive a hard bargain

At this point I'm having a hard time telling anyone's gender in RL!


I think I'm an aardvark trapped in a woman's body....


or a Maserati trapped in a old pick up truck...

There hasn't been an Aardvark since the days of Lord Julius!

Doomsday's hands and feet are probably much too big (when she's not squeezing them into heels), her boobs too small, she wears jeans and t-shirts all the time and sometimes calls people "hon" because she's is from Baltimore originally.

But, she's an honest to god female. And her honest to god husband thinks she's hot (in and out of SL).

I can understand it if people are here for those kinds of things..Like wanting to find someone and having a relationship and getting very deeply involved..

A lot of us are not here for those things..Myself i have that in RL and have the attitude that i don't care if people think one way or the other about that anymore..

I don't pass judgment on men wondering if they are men or not..
I don't pass judgment on women wondering if they are women or not..

I do pass it on someone that may say..Jump on cam so we can see you are really a woman..
Then when you get there it's like inspection time..Oh look at those eyes or lips or stand up so we can have a look at you..
It feels degrading and people change after..Because then it all becomes about "Oh she is a real one" the RL Tera..
Then i am not Ceka Cianci anymore..

Now since my other computer died last year i have a computer with crappy on board sound and can't even get my mic to work anymore so i am left with cam for an alternative..

Now imagine if someone asked you to go on mic..You then tell them that You don't have a mic because your mic won't work But your cam works..Then hearing this..

"How much is this gonna cost me to see you on Cam"??
Wow that felt really good to hear didn't it after the whole thing was their idea in the first place?now i'm looked at as an escort hahahaha
My response to him was..
"It won't cost you anything..In fact you just got a free big fat F YOU you pig"..Muted.

The thing that irritates me most is this..That because so many men in so many places like WoW and other games and here decide to play women that we are put under a microscope because of men..
Because of that we are asked 10 times over to prove who we are..

You don't think that gets old after a while?
I had to prove it in WoW and did..
I had to prove it in Unreal tournament and did..
I had to prove it in yahoo and did..
I had to prove it in Aim and did..
I had to prove it in msn and did..
And had to prove it in Second life and did..
How many times has a man had to prove they were a man online?

I am just very tired of being asked and am finished with caring what they think is all i am saying..

If people are looking for love or a relationship it's one thing..
A lot of us are not..
Some of us are here because SL is an escape and we can be creative and make good friends and not judgmental ones holding back because they are not sure of something..

From your perspective it may not seem offensive or a big deal but from mine it has gotten offensive over time and has became a big deal..
It just easier not giving a care what others think.

Nah I wouldn't worry about that.... the penguin population however might get a little miffed.

Me thinks you're taking this whole thing just a tad too seriously.

Relax.

Of course I do realize I'm probably feeding the troll, but I really wanted to use the penguin thingy.

jeez Ceka, where do you find these types of people?

I've gotten around, both in the web and SL...I have never been spoken to, approached or been treated like that. Or confirm anything about me, I'm always the one that brings it up first

Yes, "hun", huge boobs, skinny avatar and a trashy whore outfit are dead giveaways.

I think part of the "prove it" mentality is due to the lingering stereotype that only guys are computer nerds, so woman are a rarity. I believe this stereotype had some merit back in the earlier days of the internet, but more and more, I think it's changed. Most computer nerds also tended to be sex-starved social recluses so they'd latch onto anything with boobs as some kind of lost treasure. "OMG a female gamer?" *drool*

You get the idea. Anyway, that's my explanation why you woman have to deal with proving your gender.

I agree with the hands, but I do not wear prim lashes because they look horrible from a distance big black blocks and while they rezz... yuck, also when you wink or smile... they are on your cheek...

mostly where a lot of men hang out i guess lol

When people found out in unreal tournament i was an RL girl my computer was hacked a week later and all kinds of pictures were put in UT forums from a folder they took that was mine and my BF's..
It took forever for those to fade away and a lot of hoping my family never seen them..

Then WoW it's like guys there don't believe girls are on the internet so they were always asking the people around me if i was real..So finally i would get tired of it and just show them i was..My guild was even getting tired of it and telling them to piss off lol

yahoo and aim you are always asked and it just becomes the norm..

By the time i came to SL there was no voice ..All typing and hanging with friends and doing what we wanted..Then one of the girls said..Lets be dancers..There is this really nice place called goddess of love..So we all went to this club and got hired and became friends with a lot of people..
We were making friends all the time..

Then voice cam along and everyone wanted to know who is a man and who is really a girl..I hated that SL changed like that..
I finally just said to myself..I'm not doing this anymore..I'm not here to be Tera i'm here to be Ceka and if that's not good enough for anyone then they are not good enough to be my friend..
I don't want to know what someone sounds like..Because i picture them sounding like the avatar i see..Voice wrecks that part of my sl as well..

I don't know where you hang in SL or the net or what age group..i'm sure that has a lot to do with it..
i know that building and keeping to my skybox i don't get asked nearly as much hahahaha

This.

I don't want to hear that someone doesn't sound like the mental image I have of their voice.

Um, I'm mixing my metaphors here. But you know what I mean.

It's not just female avatars. A couple of times I've been visiting someone and the parcel owner has asked me to go on voice to prove I wasn't someone's alt (I assume I had some mannerisms in common with someone they disliked). One time they asked "are you an alt" and I jokingly said "sure" (because another Argent was created before Argent Stonecutter) and I was asked to go on voice or be banned... and I was banned when I said I had no mic.

Voice is disabled on all my land now.