Why do men pay for sl sex when there're so many orgy rooms?

No. I never wonder that at all. I know the reason already. It's because many, perhaps most, females in SL think far more highly of themselves than they merit. They seem to imagine that men in general want to have sex with them, when they don't. In my experience, it's the other way round - and I'm not joking.

I think I'll steer clear of the "war of the sexes" in this thread, being a pretty neutral party in that conflict. But this is interesting:I don't think that's correct, actually. I do agree that "real intimacy" in SL isn't what's offered by escorts, but not to be too crass about it, I really don't think that's the "quality" for which escort customers are paying. And to understand first hand what that might be, I'd suggest the OP get herself a male alt and hire a good escort. This is a lot easier to do in SL than in RL, so the learning experience might well be worth the effort.

The "real intimacy" thing is only available to/with a pretty small subset of residents who are highly articulate and highly engaged with their virtual life. It's easy to forget just how small a minority that really is.

Finally, I'd add that I think it's slightly wishful thinking to suppose that escorts do it for the money. The money *transaction* is a big part of the motivation, I think, but not the L$s themselves. I rather suspect the same is true for their customers.

I'll go out on a limb and say that far more men pay for sex than women ..

In either SL or RL ..


You are right -- some women do pay for sex,

But get a sense of proportion here. The OP is far from going overboard for asking why do men pay for sex.


And the "some" is implied. The OP never states that all men pay for sex.

All of that is true as far as I know, Colette. I admit to having a thing about females in SL thinking that they are so attractive, just because they are female, that we guys want to have sex with them, when is simply isn't true. The OP's question didn't use the words "some men", and could be understood as meaning men in general, and it sparked that thing in me.

I never strutted around like Clooney, I do more of a Connery.

Read the OP again ..

Its barely literate. I think some allowances should be made.

It sounds more like someone who is tired of being passed over by guys she likes because they are buying it from escorts.

Possibly because they want cyber-sex that is more coherent.

Although really, I think the main reason people pay for cyber-sex is it ensures there will be no strings attached.

I agree with this, for the most part. I think that the "transaction" involved has different motives for each person. The "quality" that is being paid for is high quality text *sex*, not intimacy. You don't have intimacy with an escort, but the quality of the text sex can be very, very different depending on how articulate the person is, how creative they are erotically, and so forth. Text sex is an area where being creative and articulate rules the day, and I can totally understand why some men would pay for that.



Yes, in light of the amounts of money that are changing hands in RL terms, it's hard to think that the consideration on either end of the equation has much to do with money per se -- certainly not in the way it does in the case of RL prostitution.



Indeed. It's worth striving for, however.

Agreeing with the 'no strings' theory-male or female.

Also, in the same vein as the "Why do people pay 900+ linden for a skin when there are free ones?" question- lots of people assume(many times wrongly) that the more you pay, the better the quality .
Then there's the assumption that if you paid the other person, he/she has to do everything you want, just like you want it.
Or, conversely, someone who's paid is assumed to know what they're doing. No awkward, "So, what's this ball do?", "What should I say", or just endless, "mmmmmm"s. X)

Also, judging from their ads, escorts often include webcam and voice-more, um, bang for your linden.

All that said, why anyone would spend a good deal of their online time getting pixelated strangers off for around 5 American dollars is the more intriguing question to me.

None?

/me's chin quivers,
/me's eyes fill with tears,
/me sobs uncontrollably and runs from the room.

Don't listen to him Lindal. He is mistaken and wrong. You still have lots of power over men.

It's the million linden question.

I've asked numerous escorts this precise question and gotten a wide range of answers, ranging from freedom to power to regular access to NSA sex to glamour to personal fantasy fulfillment and the like. It's an interesting mix. It does, however, seem that at least some of these motivations would (or could) be different when the services being provided include webcams and voice communication -- these make it much closer to a RL activity extending into SL, rather than perhaps a soccer mom living out some of her stripper/hooker fantasies in the remote, consequence-free safety of an online fantasy world.

is picking up willing women THAT hard?
-- If all you want is a willing woman, no. Not hard at all. If time is limited, or your want someone reasibonally sane, or attractive, or able to communicate well, or who just wants to bang and go with no strings attached ... yes, actually.

Or is it that once you start spending money a few thousand lindens is almost like nothing to you?
-- L$2000 = US$8 or so. Some people make less than that per day -- we are talking globally here. Some people make that in 5 minutes. Money in general means nothing to me. For others it's their god. "once you start spending" really has no bearing to what the value of a few thousand L$ means to you.

Do you think part of the escorts do it for the thrill and to cover their sl shopping expenses and the other part are from poor countries?
-- I think most do it because they enjoy it.

the money they make might as well be a full time minimum wage job salary where I was born. the only difference being that in sl u know u'll get paid for sure and not get tossed out after a month with no pay.
-- Only when you are working. There is no guarentee that you can get in 8 hours of client time in any 24 hour period.

or do you think all of them are just fooling around and might as well get a buck or two out of it?
-- I would not say all. There are some who do so from self-loathing. But in general I think most would fit into that catagory.

You can ask that question to SL in general. Why do we spend x amount of time doing whatever it is we do in SL. We each have our reasons and motivations, we are all looking for omething different. right now SL still provides that to all of us, we each enjoy it on our personal level. Will it always be that way? Perhaps not. As it becomes more mainstream SL may shift it's focus to one specific customer base over another.

Thanks a lot, Phil. Are you recardo's alt?
/me turns his back and walks away.

Cloony does me

My comment that SL women have no sexual power was with reference to RL women, who do have sexual power, because it's natural for RL men to want sex with almost any woman who is willing. (I'm not saying that men do that - just that it's natural to want to do it). SL females don't have that power - imo. Why? Because they are not women - they are animated drawings. I should add that I'm not talking about intimacy with an individual here - just the common pixel sex and associated text.

I've found that so many SL females imagine that guys want them, just because they are female, when they don't.

There are always exceptions, and you are one exception, Lindal. Any man in his right mind would want you

It's extremely difficult for any SL female, who I don't already know, to get me to go anywhere with them

Walls are plastered as you describe because of RL, where men want women, and women do have sexual power. But that's only if they are plastered with RL pictures - not pics of scantily clad female avatars - they don't turn anybody on - imo.

If thats the case, then why did that idiot walk up to me last night in sl and say to me "I want to cum in real life, do me". I am just an ordinary sl girl but sometimes you can just walk through a garden and get 5 or 10 IM's going at one time all of guys that are trying to get into your sl pants. I would also say that is pretty much the reason why there are escorts in sl, that guy didnt stand a chance.

I think this is a bit of a clumsy attempt at describing something very basic in Online socializing. Much of the sensory information you get in the presence of a real person does not exist.

Men do not hold the same attraction to women over the internet either. Much of attraction based on imagination, it exists in the minds of the people participating only.

To put it more bluntly, hormonal triggers and pheromones don't get sent and received via a cable modem.

I hope he buys you dinner and a movie first, at the very least.

Or at least splits the hotel bill.

Oh that's very true, of course -- everyone's expectations, needs and fulfillment is very different and SL is diverse (still) in that sense. I find the question about escorting/stripping rather interesting, however, because it's something that is rampantly common in SL among people who would never in a million years dream of doing anything like that in RL. For me, it's an interesting opportunity to examine what underlying motivations for behavior are, and what the implications of that are for understanding the costs/benefits and motives of human behaviors -- both in the RL and virtual context. But it's quite right to point out that this isn't limited to the escorting issue -- one could point to BDSM or Gor or what have you as well and examine it and the related behaviors and motivations (comparing the virtual with the RL) in a similarly interesting way.

I would beg to differ that SL women don't have power over the men behind the avatar, generally speaking. It's a good thing that they don't have power over you, Phil. But people come for fantasy fulfillment and a beautiful avatar will get propositioned just because she is beautiful (or handsome, if you are male). On the rare occasions that I leave my sims, I may get hit on. I understand that it's pixels, but if you've got really good pixels, it can be almost as alluring as the real thing.

I remember once in my early days, dancing on the camp poles at PnH in Hawaii - ah, the old days, 2L/5min camping! This one guy really got off on looking at the ladies' parts. Another guy was willing to give me 300L for five minutes of my time for sex. I didn't take it - I preferred earning my living on my feet and not my back or knees.

But some people really get off on the visual, and those are the ones that are more likely to buy pixel sex. That is the extent that I understand it, and it's purely academic.