Direction, percieved unfairness, and the mainstream

It's your self-defeating attitude.

Applying it to almost anything will insure failure.

Incorrect, you were told (in RL, not SL) but as you are not yet prepared put that into practice yet, how are you going to know if it will help or not?

How would you know what I've been told in RL?

How should I prepare?

Yumi are you trying to alienate people?

Absolutely not.

You would be surprised about what I know.

I can definitely tell you that you will have been told that playing everything out here on the forums is not only counter-productive and will not help get you to a solution but is actually quite destructive for you.
Obviously you have not been told that yet or have chosen to ignore it - either way you obviously were not ready for it yet.

You should prepare by taking what you are told on faith respecting that their position is one of knowledge about these things and yours is not. Only from acceptance of that and being open to change can you begin to move forward.

More embarrassing than nibbling toes?

We have no idea what to do about it because we don't know what it is.

Build a lighthouse with a three dimensional maze inside. Create an avatar based on a humanoid coffee civet. Learn how to yodel, and create a collection of "Heidi" themed gestures. Create a script for walking on water. Create a set of miniature pets. Write a script to blow particle kisses to ones paramour. Start a group for donut fetishists.

You are doing so anyway, without trying.

I am giving up here. It's impossible to help someone who absolutely rejects out of hand every single piece of advice that anyone gives them.

SL isn't a game, its an environment.

LL provide simple tools that even a child could use to build things and everything else is up to us. We make the games inside SL.
If you refuse to learn to build, or refuse to do art then of course you aren't going to be as "successful" as those who happily do these things - at building or doing art anyway.

However you could be successful in social things. For example there are many social groups and events where other types of people thrive and are the most "successful".
LL doesn't make these social things, but we residents do.
For example - avilion holds archery contests, dragon races, wizard battles, sword training etc etc.

I guess you missed the last thread Yumi posted.

She really needs to take this stuff to a psychotherapist office, and not the SL forums. It is a waste of time and in my opinion extremely embarrassing for her.

If _I_ was to have posted that what I wanted to do was to nibble toes, I can guarantee that:
a) somebody would post that "oh, see, Yumi just wants to harass people and is upset because she can't";
b) somebody else would post that "it's just nibbling toes, move on, why are you making such a huge deal out of it?".

Again, the hostility directed at means means that purely out of defensiveness I have to choose not to post the RP activity concerned. It is the very presence of that hostility which tells me that things I want to do probably won't work. If people are hostile to the idea of me making anything, why would they suddenly turn up to it after it was made?



I posted in an earlier thread that I deplore my avatar. Nobody posted anything about how to make a good av.

I posted in an earlier thread that aligning prims required writing down five-digit decimal numbers. Not until I rubbed it in did anyone mention Prim Docker. No-one ever mentioned the Reference Grid.

I posted several times in this thread that "everything basically comes down to asking people who are happy where they are to go someone else". Nobody posted any suggestions for how to socially promote a new build.



See? It's the law, people, Desmond says so. I've been following it all this time. Why haven't you?

I don't want to get into the "what SL is" argument. But it should be obvious to everyone, especially LL, by now that they are not going to be able to arrange for SL to have the same "well, you just have to deal with it" excuse for bad design that RL does. The whole "platform" thing was an attempt to do that, to tie SL to RL so that the internal experience would be less important than the interaction with RL, but it hasn't done too well, and the internal experience may be being focused on now - that's the best explanation I can think of why they would start creating Ursula now.



That's a silly argument though - a child can use a paintbrush to paint, but maybe only stick figures. And I don't refuse to learn to build at all; again, I'm put off by the hostility shown here by those who might otherwise teach.



*nod* And I avoid Avilion because it's an example of everything that I think is wrong about SL; several of the builders were "sandbox luck" people who, purely out of that randomness, now dominate fantasy RP on SL.

My own experience with Dante and NR showed that inevitably builders wind up dominating social situations too because the build inevitably defines the atmosphere of the area.

There are several threads here about avatar appearance, including the recent one about av proportion. There's a ton of SL fashion blogs to help you find new looks. If you can't find any, Google "SL fashion feed". You could probably approach several regular posters here and ask for one-on-one help. I don't post here regularly, but IM me in world and we can chat about what you want to change with your av.

If you Google "SL aligning prims", you get several relevant hits, including the third hit for Prim Docker.

There are resources available to help you find the answers yourself, if you choose to use them.

That is not the point though, the point is that by reacting with hostility when I asked for these things it seems that people just don't like or aren't prepared to accept me. Actually getting the information is only 40% of the issue; 60% is the reaction people had to being asked for it.

You can't control how other people react. You can only control how you allow it to affect you. If someone reacts with hostility on the internet, you need to put it in perspective: How much does that person actually know about you? How much do you know about that person? It is most likely that the answer to both is "very little". So why invest so much meaning into responses from people you don't really know and who don't really know you?

By making other people's reactions the point of all this, you are focusing on something over which you have no control. This is a sure path to frustration and learned helplessness. Focus on what you can control: yourself and your abilities, needs, and limitations.

No. But if what I actually _want_ is a particular reaction from other people, and they aren't willing to offer it, then I have to allow that to affect me in the sense that I probably won't be able to get that. What I then want to do, though, is to find out why.

And you may never find out why or the answer given may be completely insufficient. Again, you can't control people's reactions, so you can't force someone to explain in a way that satisfies you. You can spend as much time as you want pondering this and asking for explanations, but it again leaves you focusing other others instead of on things you can control.

This thread is now 140 replies long. I doubt you will receive replies that vary dramatically from what you have already been given. You might want to sit back and contemplate what has been said, as it has been repeated numerous times in a variety of ways without any apparent effect.

Right, but focusing on those things would be pointless. At the moment, in-world, I am largely ignored. For building or making an avatar or anything to be effective, I have to not be ignored. But by your statement, because that's something other people do, I can't control it. If that is true, then that's the end there - there is nothing I can do. But I doubt I'm the only one it applies to, which means that a randomly selected proportion of SL will always be ignored and thus driven away.



Yes, precisely because it has been repeated over and over in lieu of useful information. As I mentioned above, it's exactly the repetition of this, instead of telling me how to make an av or align a prim, that indicates the hostility.

Although the build gives the atmosphere of a place (fantasy/ sci fi or whatever it happens to be) it hasn't been my experience that the builders try to dominate the social scene. In fact you hardly ever see them (probably too busy building...)
The people you tend to see are the people who run the events and enjoy the place.
Anyway SL is big so I wish you good luck in trying to find a place that suits you - I DONT recommend a place that's all into building classes, since that has no interest to you.
Maybe a role-play sim, themed sim or just a group of people with common interests.

I think you are being unfair on Avilion - just because the owners are builders it shouldn't detract from the social scene they and the people there have created - But its your choice, its not for everyone.

There are other RP places not run by builders (but they do have nice buildings) - Sparta and the whole DCS continent of sims around it are mainly interested in the role-play and combat. Maybe too combat orientated if you aren't into that.
Yes DCS was created by scripters but you never see the DCS makers on most of the sims so they certainly don't dominate the "social scene" of those sims

And then there are all the themed sims which may do a little light role-play but are mainly just hanging out with people you like - elf clan, elf circle, star trek and many others

Or just find a group which shares your RL interests.

*nod* But determining the atmosphere is very powerful. The builder might not be the centre of attention socially but they implicitly control the entire interaction.



No, it's not because "they're builders", it's because one particular person involved was the very example of a person who got "sandbox luck" help on making magic items, and who has a reputation for becoming involved in sims and then stirring up drama or trouble or false allegations to get any potential competitor banned.



I used to like Elf Clan, but it's been empty most times I've been there.

You do not need someone's attention to build or make an avatar. There are several places inworld that provide free lessons, including places that offer instructional videos that can be used alone and at your own pace.

But if you mean a randomly selected proportion of SL will always be denied one-on-one, personalized instruction at their own convenience and on their own terms, I think that is true. That is also how life works. As an adult, you need to seek out information on your own, be responsible for your own learning and actions, and accept that very little will be handed to you. This applies to SL and RL.

There is no hostility that I can detect, only exasperation. If you want specific information, ask specific questions. I already provided you with avenues to explore with regard to avs and prim alignment, only to have you say that wasn't the point. So what is point? It again seems to be other people's reactions, which is fruitless.

Correct, but what's the point of building or making an avatar if my experence in SL will ultimately be the same - namely, being ignored?



And that's a far cry from what I'd expect.



The exasperation is artificial. People are claiming they're posting the same thing over and over and getting no response, but the truth is I've asked them not to do that and to post other things, and they have implicitly refused.



The point is the difference between having a group of friends you build with and being told to go look on Google for prim alignment.

So ask again - I will: In as specific terms as possible, what information are you looking for?

Wow, who has a "group of friends" they build with?????

Am I and Yumi the only people without a "group of friends" to build with? No one ever builds with me.

jesus, maybe i do not get it.

Am i being wronged?

I can teleport to a number of crowded places where people shower women with attention and IMs and i still get ignored - naked or clothed... Surely something is wrong with me?

This really is confusing.

Is this thread really about what i think it is about?

Nah, it sounds like you feel the same way I do.