Monogamy - does it make sense in sl?

Oh - you can use monogamy; you're not old like Pep.

OK - I'll answer the question seriously.

I think LL are missing a trick in not allowing many-to-many relationships between avatars. OK, it's a database change, but we actually need different realtionship types and multiple instances.

This should cover business as well as personal and role playing relationships, etc.

LL could charge, as they do now, for making and breaking relationships - maybe charge on a sliding scale depending on the number set. However there should be an upper limit of total number of inter-avatar relationships - some database analysis and sizing would need to be done to decide the max number.

That's true, I am serious as a heart attack about some things.

EDIT: and some people

OMG, I can't stop laughing now. Time to head off for the second cup of coffee.

Yeah...I'm just kind of greedy. I tend to sleep diagonally across the bed, have my side, a don't even LOOK at my pillow attitude...and then there's Jig's comment about the elbow in the ribs problem.

There is only one person who didn't cramp my sleeping and it was the most sickening thing: we would wake up holding hands, side by side, with our heads inclined towards each other and just the top edges touching. Unbearably mushy.

LOL Great reply!
Oh, if only I could say who picks their nostrils! But men do, seriously!! I watched this man and he was all dry-breathing. I swear I was leaning on my elbow watching this. Then he went all sleep-apnoiea on me, and in his sleep, jabbed a digit up his left nostril and had a good dig. Something came down coz he kinda flicked a finger and it went flying. Honestly, I was appalled.
Treasure, wake up in the night and watch a man. They are an education.

I dont care if they are rock stars, CEOs, lawyers, Maintenance Men, carpenters etc. It's a level playing field when they nod off.

Have you ever filmed yourself sleeping, Jig? ))))))

They do worse. Much worse.

I realized the same thing happened as last week: Pep leaves work and here we are with the Sharpies rather than the washable crayolas all over his thread. My god, we are discussing snot

I could tell you tales, I can assure you.

And YOUNG men are just as bad. I swear. I had this bloke - a real charmer in company and in our line of work. Well, when he gets home with me, he gets all silent and sorta dumpy. Anyway, I put on "Pride and Prejudice" and he had teh f**king audacity to say "tell me when the funny bits come on".

Immediately my hackles rose. Anyway, some time later (as they say), there he is in bed (big oaf) and my God, his body sounds like Battersea Power Station on a busy night. Belching and farting and carrying on. Snoring away. Really badly. So I did my trick of pinching his nose coz a friend said that worked for her. And he went all diffy and stopped breathing!!!!

So I jabbed him really hard. No. This is absolutely true! And he woke up all cross like a big ferret, with "whatdyadothatfor??"

"Coz your a f**king animal, you moron!" I said.

HE was ordered to the guest house, I can tell you.

Who have you been cuddling with, Mike Tyson?

Jig, nobody could make up sh#t this crazy )))))

I wish.

/me wipes tears of laughter. (and glances at Argent) YOu didn't have to call him a big ferret, Jig. That's VERY discriminatory of you, you should apologize. The sad thing is, I believe what you're saying; I just don't share the idea that men's 'quirks' at sleepy time, are gross. I see them more as endearing. Part of their charm.

I swear it's true. My bedroom is like Piccadilly Circus some nights. You get some men in bed and you feel like you've been on the dodge'ems in a fair ground. I swear, I'm human - not a pillow! One guy went on about his contractual obligations and how I might mess them up. I thought he was yabbering on about what we do for a living, but he was talking about his pre-nups. True!

I'm sure that was not because he could not get a word in edgewise.

I'm thinking he should have been worrying about that before he found himself in your man-trap* of a bed!!!


*more like trap and release...or trap and forcibly eject!

This.

I think some people are just 'wired' that way, though admittedly I've never been one of them. I've enjoyed long term monogamous relationships in RL, though I tend to seek out partners who need, and will allow me, lots of space. Not to date others per se, but just to be able to "breathe". As long as I don't feel boxed in I do fine with it. Actually I've never been one to believe that lifetime monogamy with one partner is a natural or normal state for human beings. But that's a topic for another thread.

I will admit though, in the Lesbian community where I live I am somewhat of an anomaly. There just aren't many people here who practice any kind of poly; it's generally frowned upon. I know this isn't the case in many other parts of the world, maybe I need to move.

As for SL I did try to do the one on one relationship. It just kind of happened with someone who is now my best friend. Actually we were best friends before that and I think I felt I could handle the exclusivity. It didn't work. I am much happier with my situation as it is now (if you're all that interested what that is, peek at my profile).

For those who choose to partner though, more power to ya. It's about being happy.

/me loves to cuddle!

So yeah, back to the OP ...

Why would anyone be monogamous in SL? Simple answer: because they want it.

For many of us, SL is a place to play out our fantasies. I'm happily monogamous (non-serial type) in RL. I'm not in my fantasies, and not in SL. Note that I do not believe that my fantasies are what I really want in RL -- they're just fantasies, fun thoughts.

A very common fantasy, especially among women, is meeting that one right person with whom to share his or her whole life -- whole life in two respects: fully now and fully forever.

For some, the first part -- the romance and wedding -- is the fantasy, so they do it over and over. (I know a number of men who enjoy satisfying this fantasy, for one woman after another. Some just enjoy sharing the leading roles; others are creepy predators.)

For others, the fantasy is living out that life.

And for many, it's not so much a fantasy, as simply living an alternate life in an alternate reality, and monogamy -- "sensible"or not -- is what comes naturally. Even perhaps to a mustelid!

IRL, I'm monogamous, faithfully married for over 20 years. In SL, I've been "together" with the same woman for nearly 3 years, but we both play the field, and she's partnered with other men (with my blessing). Why? Because we're good together. An added benefit is that it helps clue my other amours that I'm not available for an exclusive thing.

I won't argue with those who say that I'm not being faithful in RL if I'm having relationships in SL. Being faithful is a matter of keeping agreements (including implicit ones).

Just wait 'til you get older: you'll get charming too!

So you are NOT mono are you? You're like all men. Have the wife and then toss them in the scrap heap of matrimonial decay.
They are REAL women (or men ) you meet here. How about that poor wife of yours and all those kids, wandering around the kitchen of reality and looking for scraps?

I can't stop laughing at all the responses, you are all so darned funny.

Firstly, thanks, Pep, (insert hug & kiss) for starting this thread....great for a Friday!!

And Jig! You are something else! I don't know where you find your "dates" but I think you may need to look in a different place.... I've never seen a man do this...(and nor do I want to - shudders). But I do love the guest house idea...hmmmmmmmm... wonder if I could convert my garage....?? (laughs)

hugs to all,
Z

Hey!
(Mind you, I did sleep with one bloke (only once) who really did say, "For Christ sake will you f**king SHUT UP!"
And that is NO lie.

That's the only kind I know about



The ones that really crack me up are the ones that are too prissy to curse while awake yet as soon as they are asleep they develop Tourettes. Or they who are incapable of defecating or passing gas with another human being in a 100 mile radius but lose all their gaseous inhibitions once they nod off. And they have no idea you know what they did


Well done