Monogamy - does it make sense in sl?
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Tegg Bode
FrootLoop Roo Overlord
Join date: 12 Jan 2007
Posts: 5,707
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09-12-2009 01:42
From: Pserendipity Daniels Without wanting to get into the fine details, monogamy is the most prevalent socio-sexual partnership model for homo sapiens in the real world. There seem obvious reasons and benefits of this (biased towards the female of the species) although most mammals seem to do well without it. LL only allows one name in the 'Partnership' box, and so appears to be implicitly supporting serial monogamy as the primary formal relationship construct. Most of the people I know (certainly most of the women) seem also to have "one at a time" as a preferred model inworld (ignoring whatever their arrangements might be in real life) but is this because they have not thought too much about it, because they think their potential mates might be deterred by the prospect of some other poly relationship or because they just couldn't cope with remembering what name to type in when in the throes of cyber ecstasy - and don't want to lose what they *do* have? I wouldn't expect anybody to admit publicly here that social monogamy provides a nice stable platform for 'extramarital' sex , but I'd be interested in your thoughts on why, when the ties are less binding and the rewards less overtly pleasurable, anyone would commit themselves to one other, rather than playing the field. Pep (all of whose sl relationships have been purely platonic of course  ) Multiple boxes for partners is still too restrictive, what they need is to abolish the paner box and replace it with a text box that you can just type what ever you like about your characters partners , kinks, job, favorite cat etc Oh wait, we actually have that just some people don't know how to use it...................
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Dana Hickman
Leather & Lace™
Join date: 10 Oct 2006
Posts: 1,515
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09-12-2009 02:37
From: Pserendipity Daniels Most of the people I know (certainly most of the women) seem also to have "one at a time" as a preferred model inworld (ignoring whatever their arrangements might be in real life) but is this because they have not thought too much about it, because they think their potential mates might be deterred by the prospect of some other poly relationship or because they just couldn't cope with remembering what name to type in when in the throes of cyber ecstasy - and don't want to lose what they *do* have? I'd say surely monogamy makes sense in SL if you're one of the people who's learned that that option gives you the most return, or you're one who desires that and has no roadblock to acheiving it. I was definately of the "one at a time" mindset when I started SL, but a chain of realizations about myself and how far I could commit in SL has pretty much trashed that. The short version is that falling hard in love here proved a RL problem, so it had to go, and without that in the relationship, the main reason for staying with only one person went with it. A slut was born that day I guess lol, not out of necessity or intent, but mostly from being a stubborn ass and not wanting to completely give up the fun stuff. In the end, the casual approach to relationships works for me because I'm picky enough that the double-dipping scenario hasn't happened, even though I leave that door open. I'm sure that if I could've pursued relationships into heartfelt romance, I would still be in the monogamous group as that's my basic nature. It's not so bad leaving the lovey dovey out of it all though.. every day feels like a frat party 
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~Friendship is like peeing your pants... ~
~Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its true warmth~
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Jig Chippewa
Fine Young Cannibal
Join date: 30 Oct 2006
Posts: 5,150
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09-12-2009 04:20
From: Dakota Tebaldi You're the one brings 'em home... No. They follow me! 
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Fine Young Cannibal
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Dakota Tebaldi
Voodoo Child
Join date: 6 Feb 2008
Posts: 1,873
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09-12-2009 04:40
From: Jig Chippewa No. They follow me! Well, you're the one let's them into your house!
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"...Dakota will grow up to be very scary... but in a HOT and desireable kind of way." - 3Ring Binder "I really do think it's a pity he didnt "age" himself to 18." - Jig Chippewa 
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Czari Zenovka
I've Had it With "PC"!
Join date: 3 May 2007
Posts: 3,688
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09-12-2009 05:48
From: Argent Stonecutter I once made a decoy pose ball that orbited people who tried to use it when the owner wasn't around.  Like it!!!! |
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Alexander Harbrough
Registered User
Join date: 22 Feb 2009
Posts: 601
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09-12-2009 09:04
From: Argent Stonecutter I once made a decoy pose ball that orbited people who tried to use it when the owner wasn't around. "One of these days, Alice, one of these days... bang... zoom straight to the moon!: |
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Scylla Rhiadra
Gentle is Human
Join date: 11 Oct 2008
Posts: 4,427
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09-12-2009 09:43
From: Alexander Harbrough "One of these days, Alice, one of these days... bang... zoom straight to the moon!: *sigh* Ah, the GOOD old days. When nothing left 'em rolling in the aisles like the promise of a bit of domestic abuse . . . (PS. Not directed at you Alexander , but at the culture that generated the quote, and thought is was funny. And at Jacky Gleason. Ick.)
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Scylla Rhiadra
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Alexander Harbrough
Registered User
Join date: 22 Feb 2009
Posts: 601
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09-12-2009 12:46
From: Scylla Rhiadra *sigh* Ah, the GOOD old days. When nothing left 'em rolling in the aisles like the promise of a bit of domestic abuse . . . (PS. Not directed at you Alexander , but at the culture that generated the quote, and thought is was funny. And at Jacky Gleason. Ick.) Heh, only used it here because it was funny in the context of the orbit poseball trap Some history is best left behind us... |
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Smith Peel
Smif v2.0
Join date: 10 Jan 2005
Posts: 1,597
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09-12-2009 13:06
From: Jig Chippewa In one place it's a lovely spot by a lake with ducks and stuff and they even have a deck of their own. And sliding doors. They also have really nice beds and bedsheets. The place I have by the sea is also really neat and there they just have to be careful coming down the stairs which are very old (1790) and a little problematic. It's also haunted which might be an issue. But I dont tell them that (I just told you but you dont know where it is). Anyway, if they scream at all it's coz I have stepped on their toes or poked them. Men like that sort of thing. My ghost is a young woman who steals jewellery (we share it out when the guests all leave) I'll be very gentle with you Smith, I promise. I will hoggle and poggle you rather than cuddle you Hoggle, poggle, and put me out to pasture? |
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Smith Peel
Smif v2.0
Join date: 10 Jan 2005
Posts: 1,597
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09-12-2009 13:07
From: Scylla Rhiadra Ah, the GOOD old days. When nothing left 'em rolling in the aisles like the promise of a bit of domestic abuse . . . Oh Scylla, it was funny cause he didn't even have the nut to give her a good spanking )))) |
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Scylla Rhiadra
Gentle is Human
Join date: 11 Oct 2008
Posts: 4,427
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09-12-2009 13:49
From: Smith Peel Oh Scylla, it was funny cause he didn't even have the nut to give her a good spanking )))) Hmmmmm . . . The idea of gettng so much as TOUCHED by that ick would have been threat enough for me. However, in fairness, I have to say that one of reasons it was "funny" was, of course, that he clearly was never going to act upon the threat. Alice, as I recall, was a fairly self-assertive woman (if not a very pleasant one)? I'm sure that part of the humour derived from the idea that, despite his macho posturing, he was really "pussy-whipped" (as they used to say also in the "good old days" . Which, now I think about it, is ANOTHER reason to find that show offensive . . . Oh! So much to be offended by, and sooooo little time . . .
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Scylla Rhiadra
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Smith Peel
Smif v2.0
Join date: 10 Jan 2005
Posts: 1,597
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09-12-2009 14:03
From: Scylla Rhiadra However, in fairness, I have to say that one of reasons it was "funny" was, of course, that he clearly was never going to act upon the threat. Alice, as I recall, was a fairly self-assertive woman (if not a very pleasant one)? I'm sure that part of the humour derived from the idea that, despite his macho posturing, he was really "pussy-whipped" (as they used to say also in the "good old days" . Which, now I think about it, is ANOTHER reason to find that show offensive . . . Oh! So much to be offended by, and sooooo little time . . . I guess...if you looking to be offended so badly!!! One of these days, Scylla!!! ))))))) |
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Scylla Rhiadra
Gentle is Human
Join date: 11 Oct 2008
Posts: 4,427
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09-12-2009 14:05
From: Smith Peel I guess...if you looking to be offended so badly!!! One of these days, Scylla!!! ))))))) (The sound that you hear is my forehead making sharp contact with my desktop in a repeated and rhythmical pattern . . .) 
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Scylla Rhiadra
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Smith Peel
Smif v2.0
Join date: 10 Jan 2005
Posts: 1,597
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09-12-2009 14:08
From: Scylla Rhiadra (The sound that you hear is my forehead making sharp contact with my desktop in a repeated and rhythmical pattern . . .) So.... basically..... I don't gotta even smack you around......... LOLz |
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Alexander Harbrough
Registered User
Join date: 22 Feb 2009
Posts: 601
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09-12-2009 14:15
From: Scylla Rhiadra (The sound that you hear is my forehead making sharp contact with my desktop in a repeated and rhythmical pattern . . .) *sneaks a pillow in between you and your desktop* None of that... it may not seem like it now, but you may need those brain cells someday |
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Scylla Rhiadra
Gentle is Human
Join date: 11 Oct 2008
Posts: 4,427
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09-12-2009 14:18
From: Alexander Harbrough *sneaks a pillow in between you and your desktop* None of that... it may not seem like it now, but you may need those brain cells someday /me takes the pillow gratefully from Alexander, while glaring in her very best "if-looks-could-kill" manner at Mr. Peel . . . 
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Scylla Rhiadra
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Smith Peel
Smif v2.0
Join date: 10 Jan 2005
Posts: 1,597
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09-12-2009 14:20
From: Scylla Rhiadra /me takes the pillow gratefully from Alexander, while glaring in her very best "if-looks-could-kill" manner at Mr. Peel . . . Aww... when you gonna come in world and berate me properly for being a man? )))))) |
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Scylla Rhiadra
Gentle is Human
Join date: 11 Oct 2008
Posts: 4,427
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09-12-2009 14:29
From: Smith Peel Aww... when you gonna come in world and berate me properly for being a man? )))))) Oh, like I'm going to tip my hand on that? No . . . walk in fear, Mr. Peel, walk in fear. Because around every corner, within every shadow, masked by every dark doorframe, I may lie in wait . . . BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
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Scylla Rhiadra
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Smith Peel
Smif v2.0
Join date: 10 Jan 2005
Posts: 1,597
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09-12-2009 14:30
From: Scylla Rhiadra Oh, like I'm going to tip my hand on that?
No . . . walk in fear, Mr. Peel, walk in fear.
Because around every corner, within every shadow, masked by every dark doorframe, I may lie in wait . . .
BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Witness the female version of "Too the moon!!!" |
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Alexander Harbrough
Registered User
Join date: 22 Feb 2009
Posts: 601
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09-12-2009 14:34
From: Scylla Rhiadra Oh, like I'm going to tip my hand on that?
No . . . walk in fear, Mr. Peel, walk in fear.
Because around every corner, within every shadow, masked by every dark doorframe, I may lie in wait . . .
BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Great.. in RL, we now know Scylla is really Lamont Cranston, a "wealthy young man about town." |
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Scylla Rhiadra
Gentle is Human
Join date: 11 Oct 2008
Posts: 4,427
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09-12-2009 14:46
From: Alexander Harbrough Great.. in RL, we now know Scylla is really Lamont Cranston, a "wealthy young man about town."  OUTED!!!!! (Damn. And I thought that only the Shadow knew . . . )
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Scylla Rhiadra
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Alexander Harbrough
Registered User
Join date: 22 Feb 2009
Posts: 601
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09-12-2009 15:09
From: Scylla Rhiadra OUTED!!!!! (Damn. And I thought that only the Shadow knew . . . ) Lol |
