Males playing female avatars

Not every lesbian wants a butch.
(yes, I know you said some and not all)

I'm not fond of the ones that use a male avatar for their butch - at least not in an attraction sense. But then I'm not in SL to find a RL relationship, so I want my play partners to have visual -and- social appeal, not one or the other. A lesbian on a male avatar inside of SL, for me, might as well be a guy (save for what I say 2 paragraphs down).

My mother traded abusive men for abusive butches, and never seemed to catch on that it wasn't the sex of her abusers that counted. So I've never liked 'alpha men', even when they're biologically women. (and I know many butches are wonderful people, including the one my mother finally settled on after I'd grown up, but you know how it goes when something gets beat into you, its hard to get out)

I also suspect a lot of straight women, and know a lot of bi women, hang out in lesbian clubs because frankly... guys can be a pain. They don't know how to turn it off sometimes, and the way they get 'alpha' bugs me even more than the way a butch gets 'alpha'.

Another thing to keep in mind is that SL is international. Having lived in a few countries, I've found that people behave in amazingly different ways. In SL, I'm constantly reminded just how global SL is by the unusual diversity of people I find hiding behind bushes on my Sim.
(well, only one naked guy in a cape actually hid behind a bush, but its still a funny way to describe all the other clandestine multi-lingual wanderers I see. I think now that the adult policy is in force, people in places in the world that are having trouble verifying are using low traffic sims to meet each other... or something like that...)

In one country, women might feel a sense of self is tied to their RL-prim boobs, and in another if you get that big you're a freak. Latin women tend to seriously glam it up when they go out, and Asian women tend to be extremely strong willed and assertive (reality being opposite of stereotype).

While you can sometimes 'know one when you see one' among your own culture, the same signals might be flipped elsewhere. But in SL, there is no elsewhere, everywhere is here.

Some places where my gut screams at me that 90% of the crowd are really guys, like Lesbian Paradise, based on the avatars... when the DJs and others get into voice, its all women, and I look at their frankenbarbie avatars... and just /me boggles.

Actually, there is a fine line, and it can be difficult to walk at times. I know others intentionally are deceitful about things, which isn't what I'm referring to. In my case, I am pretending, and trying to be and be treated as a woman, when I'm logged in with my alt account. That means there is some level of deception going on. I don't pry for RL information, nor do I typically respond to RL info requests. Of course, as stated in an earlier post, I don't hide the truth either if I am asked. Also, if I sense there is RL things going on, and feel that the need is there for me to inform the other person of the truth, I will. I'm not trying to hide anything, I'm just trying to maintain the illusion. Of course, before I reveal anything, I would always ask if the person wants to know RL things or not, just in case I'm misreading things.

Thanks for the replies all. It makes sense to me that RL gender doesn't really matter since I'm not trying to start any sort of RL relationship. I'm not out to have hot lesbian action either, that's what porn is for (although some of those sex devices people make can be fun to play with, lol). To me, it's merely a preference. I just want to play an avatar that I find to be attractive. I won't hide it if asked, yet I don't need to go around advertising it either.

Feel a little fortunate in that. While you're getting the ones with an honest streak and the urge to discuss things, I'm getting the really mannish ones who persistantly chase you around the sim with "attachable fake appendages".

here is my take. do what you want to do. you are you, if I met you as a woman, man, furry, tiney dont matter you are you.

And the best part? IS JUST BEING that is the best part of SL you can just be what ever you want.

For many guys the female alt is more a "this is what the ultimate girlfriend would be like" fantasy. It doesn't mean they are having fantasies about relations with another male. Personally, I have nothing agains gay people at all, I just can't think of a single time I have ever looked at another guy in a sexual nature. I'm buggered in what women could see attractive in males at all really, it's more a case of how not unattractive we are. So hopefully we make up for that in personality.
But then again I view women the same, if they aren't unattractive my next thought is what are they like in personality?

I agree... There should be some kind of checkbox for Real People vs. Roleplayers on our profiles.

This would be great.

Way too black and white. Everyone is "RPing" to an extent: we "package" ourselves with different personae for different contexts even in RL, and I think it's all the more pronounced in SL because it is so easy to do.

In other words, there is a spectrum.

And what about the case of someone who is exploring a gender identity issue in RL, through SL? It is entirely possible to be playing a different gender, while still being "true" to who you are. The transgendered do it all the time.

What's all this talking about anyways.


If person X chooses to have (insert any specific avatar description), its totally his/her choice.

If you argue to deny that person that choice of being a female/male/furry/alligator/cardboard box robot/wind-up hampster, you loose your own right to choose your avatar freely.

'nuff said.

What's next, "linden-verified gender-honest avatar"? Submitting a blood sample on signup?

I like the way you think.

Pep (That isn't a come on, by the way, more a hearty slap on the back, making you spill your drink - a pint of real beer, of course - a little, before we start bragging in the pub about who has slept with the ugliest woman. )

Quite a few clubs these days have resident full-time dance 'bots' who have no active RL at all, beyond someone having created them and logged them in. Most of these are female but there are male ones too. Somehow they still have a presence, a reality, even though they never speak and they just dance on and on hour after hour in a corner!

I also suspect that some RL people create a couple - perhaps one as an ideal version of their real selves and an alt as their ideal partner. I suspect that RL women do this as well as men. PS my alt is very dull and boring and is an inanimate object, not human - an ideal partner, in a way!

These "male" bots are obviously made by "females".

Pep (Real men would make male bots that just lean on the bar and letch after any half-attractive woman that came within half a mile.)

I quite like to see dancebots, they have a certain charm and they can be the butt of everyone else's jokes, like the bot guy at one club who never changes his clothes!

Fairly realistic then.

Pep (RL and SL. )

LIES!

I think there are some on the forums.

Remember that thread recently about women getting treated better in SL?

Well, now that I've gone around in a female alt, I can definitely say that's a hell of an incentive to use one. If you were to create a graph of how friendly people are in SL, there's some kind of quantum singularity on it when you play a small, cute, female, furry avatar in a really nice formal dress. If you're depressed it's better than Prozac.

I'm RL straight male and my main avatar is female . I'll call her A.
A. is sort of an intellectual bimbo and a greedy courtesan. I know many will find that morally questionable and/or malicious, of course.
I agree with a lot of things that have been said in this thread, and I definitely can relate to that female butt-ogling thingy. But over all, it's just great to act femininely, to let out the woman in me. I rarely use this one male identity because I'm just bored being a guy on SL. On the other hand, being A., that unrepentant seductress, is exhilarating, lots of adrenaline.
I don't see A. as a representation or an extension of myself. Sometimes it feels like she's an independent being of her own right. I can't really recognize myself in her. Isn't that the whole point of SL after all?

Blech.... Isn't that what voice is for?

I made my first alt because I lost the first group I created,didn't know you need at least 2 members.
So when it came to the name I thought it would be fun to have a female ave.I named her after the daughter I never had in RL,I've got two boys.When I rezzed her,I felt really self conscious and got off the island in a great panic and as quick as possible.On the rare occasion I bring her out I am always afraid someone will speak to her.The one and only time that happened I logged off in a flash.LOL,
So I for one am not happy playing in the female form.

lol this all sounds too familiar. My female alt gets to come online now and again, but she is usually left alone, thank god. If someone speaks to her she'll glare until they go away.

I can see why men would want to be females... ahh in SL and RL. Consider that we're more intelligent, more sensitive, more accepting, more resourceful and only have one head to think with! Simple in my opinion.

Yes, but can you pee accurately standing up?

Pep (will think of another advantage soon, but is too busy watching motorsport for the moment. )