Males playing female avatars

Are you thinking of Torley?

As for the thread topic - the OP should go back and read the multiple existing threads asking the same question.

RL/SL female here so I wouldn't know. In the case of men actively seeking a sexual coupling with a woman while playing a woman, though, (as opposed to it 'just happening' as in your story Scylla) I'd say definitely it must be a fantasy of at least one of them.

Lesbians? Where? *looks around*

You're too young to understand that sort of thing.

SL features every possible combination and permutation of gender identity (both RL and gender as portrayed in SL) and sexual orientation.

You'll find RL men playing SL women who are happily in an SL relationship with another SL woman who is a RL man. You'll find exactly the opposite, too. You'll find real lesbians, who portray themselves (like Carter) as butch in SL. You'll find lipstick lesbians, and the people behind those beautiful avatars may be men...or they may be RL women who simply wish to fulfill the fantasy of having a lesbian relationship in SL. You'll find people who are gay males in RL. In SL they may be male or female avatars.

The reasons span a huge range. I have some friends who simply cannot play an avatar that matches their RL biological gender without discomfort. I also know some really cute heterosexual women in RL who are shemale dancers in SL, simply because the tips are better.

EVERY combination, folks. Including some that aren't possible (or very very rare) in RL, like true hermaphrodites.

No harm, no foul. It's all good, as long as there's no serious deception (like what happened to one friend...she fell in love with a guy, partnered him, and he later turned out to be a woman in RL. That might not have been so bad, but "he" left her, after taunting her about her gullibility. That was cruel.)

Sounds sociopathic.

It was. I expect we have more than our share of sociopaths here. It's such a fruitful venue for playing mind games with people.

The other day, I got a copy of a notecard warning about people who *roleplay* mentally ill individuals in SL. They do it for the attention, the lulz, the joy of driving OTHER people nuts.

My first avatar had the (mis?)fortune of meeting and becoming close with a man playing a female avatar. He was immersed in the role. We became very, very close. But, it wasn't sexual. I was in SL during a rough time in my RL and this person was the friend, sister, mother, mentor...

He did have male avatars that he brought out on occasion to offer me the *thrill* of being courted in SL. It took me awhile to figure out what was what and an even longer time to confront him about it. We remained friends for nearly a year after the truth was out.

Talk about being gullible. I must have had the word written across my face in neon.

I'm wiser now. Maybe not. But, I know that I won't be developing new close friendships in SL with either the original avatar or this alt. I'll stick with the friendships that I've managed to carry through into RL. Live and learn

I think you're limiting yourself needlessly. Whatever this person did to you couldn't have been TOO bad, if you remained friends for a year after he came out to you. And it sounds as if he/she did you a lot of good by providing support during a tough time.

So what if he "passed" for a long time? Why not just accept that his female persona is/was a part of him, that he allowed you to see? Why do you feel you were "gullible"?

[EDIT: If he played head games with you with his male alts...not telling you that they WERE alts of someone you knew...well, that's a no-no, in my book.]

I am friends...in some cases, very close and intimate friends...with people who are not at all in RL what they are here in SL. And some who are *probably* not, but have not chosen to tell me one way or the other. As long as I'm not planning to run off and have an affair in RL with such a person, how they choose to present themselves in SL is completely irrelevant.

What's important is what sort of person they are.

Every one you meet on the internet is an overweight, middle-aged man. Didn't you know that?

If you treat everyone equally and according to how they portray themselves, it won't matter anyway. Ghosty is not a real llama either, but as llama or human he is a friendly person to be around.

I didn't share all the details of the relationship. Please accept it when I say that the *role playing* he was engaged in carried over into so many aspects of his Second Life. In the end, I didn't know heads from tails. I know that I'm responsible for my feelings ultimately. But, he knew exactly what to say and do to pull me into his charade.

He was a great friend. But, I know now that he has several issues that he needs to work on. I feel gullible because he was able to draw me in. I enabled him.

The reason that I don't want to develop new close relationships is simple. "As long as I'm not planning to run off and have an affair in RL with such a person..."

I never planned for that to happen but it was a topic of conversation that I had with this man. I didn't choose to fall in love with him. It feels like he might have engineered that very scenario though.

I take people at face value.
What matters is how they treat others.

Their RL gender is not an issue for me because I don't do romantic couplings in SL. I have RL for that, and I'm spoken for there.
To me, forming a romantic association in SL would be the same as doing it in RL.

The lesbian/mesbian thing is probably explained by lesbians being a classic male fantasy. As a female avatar they would stand a better chance of not only viewing but joining the action than they might as a male avatar (intentional humour).
If sexors is the objective then I don't fully understand why they would have to get it via the mesbian route. The BDSM places are wall-to-wall with females wanting to be dominated by males. They should be able to get their sexors as a male avatar no problem.
Whether or not those females are male in RL is beside the point, but I suspect that the percentage of RL males in the lesbian scene would be higher.


There have been many threads on how to determine if a female has a male typist.
Some believe that use of the salutation "Hun" is a dead givaway. That's a bit silly. Cultural differences can mislead us. In my neck of the RL woods, for instance, it's comon to refer to a group of female friends as "the lads".
For me, the only sure-fire giveaway is them saying "I'm a guy in RL".... but even then....

I do have a sort of knee-jerk reaction to a lesbian saying "Hello Ladies". This is purely a cultural thing - from watching the TV program Little Britain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxLBpa7g5fg


Although, I do remember hearing one lesbian saying to another in a moment of passion "Yeah baby. I want you to cum and squirt all over my dick". Now *that* is a tad suspicious!

Yeah? So? You say that like it is a bad thing.

I'm sorry that happened to you, Hope. Yes, there are plenty of people in SL who will use the anonymity of our avatars to play head games. Even so, I think you're overreacting to say that you won't risk forming any more SL friendships.

She's not a girl, but her boyfriend is. (^_^)y

Lindal you can say that again.



Trust your instinct and intuition. If you feel off center give the person a wide berth until you figure out why. But some people seek people who are off balance due to real life problems for just that reason. They will be slower to notice the warning signs. They will probably chalk it up to their other problems, not the person who's gaming them.

Some people like to manipulate and control other people. While many or most people are genuine, the ones who sidle up to someone simply to become a sort of emotional captain are out there too. They like the feeling of someone depending upon them. Soon they ask something that is a little over the line, whether it is personal information, or asking the person for something they would otherwise not give.

Beware social engineers whatever their gender.

Plenty of RL cross-dressers would would be quick to point out that just because they like wearing items of clothing more typical of the opposite sex, they have no desire to actually pass themselves off as members of the opposite sex. I am sure the SL thing with avatars of the opposite gender is a corollary of this mind set: it just isn't necessary to have a bona fide RL gender to back up whatever you want to be in a virtual environment - or how you want to play it, for that matter. Some folks sprinkle fantasy like salt on their creations whereas others treat it as the meat and drink of everything they want to make or do.

Horses for courses.

Personally, I'd be just as comfortable with 'child avs' if certain aspects of ageplay weren't so loaded with child protection issues in RL. Adults playing with gender is child's play by comparison.

Oh! I forgot to add the RL picture from my Profile to the post above.

I couldn't agree more, unfortunately.

Semantics...

New close relationships is what I meant. I still adore meeting new people in SL and welcome new friends. I'm a single mom who can't get out much in RL, SL is ideal for me. And, my original alt has several dear friends that I talk to frequently, outside of SL.

I'm just going to be a bit more guarded in SL. I can't say that the female avatar/male typist was easily able to pull me into his web. But, pull me in he did. I doubt that I'll ever be involved in the same situation again in SL. Being a bit more reserved and less open is one way to ensure that others aren't able to wrap themselves into my psyche. I hope.

I never want to go through that sort experience again. But, I am grateful that I got to experience it. Live and learn.

LOL No.

They both knew each other were male at the start and discussed it...strange, but it worked for them and they maintained they were not gay, which is what people tried to label them.

Very well said Lindal.

For some reason, i am one of those people that guys in drag want to "come out of the closet" to. And it has happened several times.

Now, whenever i sense a "coming out" discussion, i preempt it with a "I don't want to know your RL sex, please don't tell me". Because it does not help our friendship for me to know, but it very may well hinder it if they tell me they are male and then i look back on our relationship (friendship) and find a bunch of discrepancies or what i call "guy playing girl manipulation" - which really pisses me off. What i mean by that is like, a guy playing a girl, who then comments on a bunch of female issues as if their opinion even matters. Or worse yet i have noticed that many of the guys who play girls are the biggest drama-emo-queens.

Oh well...In the Navy "we didn't ask, and they didn't tell" (at least the smart ones did not), and i prefer to keep it that way in SL.

Kalor is male, but I do have a female alt that is the account I use the most frequently in SL. I don't list in her profile that I am male, because it defeats the purpose for me. Like someone else stated in the thread, if I want to be treated like a female in SL, why would I necessarily want to announce that I'm not female in my profile? That being said, though, I don't try to go around deceiving others. The topic may never come up, but if I am asked about it, or if it looks like there might be some kind of emotions growing on either side, I will make it clear.

That is one of the reasons I've never said who my alt is here. Not everyone wants to know. That, and it takes away from some of the RP of it for others.

Yes, if one person is being encouraged to share RL stuff and the other person is doing it on the basis of "girls like us" and all the time it's a straight guy on the other side, that's squicky. If one person is roleplaying and the other is clearly not, there is a gray area of ish there.