Ask Jake Anything

*shakes her head*
Okay, I'll pretend I didn't see it either.
Are you going to try selling me a bridge now?

Why Buddhism? Why not hinduism, or shintoism?

how much wood.... got that much down?

could a wood chuck chuck... damn I must be speaking ebonics!

If the pope crapped in the woods.... OMFG I'M FRENCH.

..Have a cookie.. and calm down.. The doctor will be with you shortly.

Tre you cant be french, you dont smell and you make sense

Hey Jake, why do they call them buffalo wings when buffalo's don't have wings?

P.S. I think your spankers are falling down on the job.

Hey jake if you were to kill your clone, would it be murder or suicide? has any crime been committed? and where would you put the remains?

I am not pretending....for your generla information, in my romantic life, subtle hints like "this is my phone number, please use it" elude me.

I am always right. You are a good girl. Of course you might want to dicuss with me soemtime what goes inot my definition of good.

Ahh you mean it is not a single word. Spacing is so critical... I cannot type and I cannot spell, mostly. But I am not to lazy to put a fucking space between my words.

Yes I got it down. No ebonics requires more literacy that that displayed in your original quote. And even the frech use spaces.

Now if the pope crapped in the woods, the wood chuck would chuck no wood because the pope's shit stinks worse than the goddamed bear piss the woodchuck has been forced to deal with for all these years. Be an environmentalist, stop the pope, his security detachment, his driver, his aides, secretaries and file clerks, as well as the half dozen cardinals that accompnay him on every walk, from all taking a crap in the woods. It may well be the subject of Al Gores next movie.

there is a distinct lack of question marks here..you better find yourself a spank ball.

Because I am a buddhist.

another post without a question...its time i break out the cat-o-ninetails.

Because they were prepared in a style that originated in buffalo new york. The are, in fact, the obly thing that ever game out of buffalo that can legitimately be associated with the word hot. But then what can you expect from a team that had jim kelly as QB and still could not win a superbowl.

Killing a clone woudl be homicide...you are not your clone, and thus it is a different person. It might be murder, depending on how it was done. And again depdending on the circumstances of the killing a crime may or may not have been comitted. I personally would take the remains to amboy california and bury it in the chloride fields. I am told pigs work well, as do certain ant colonies. For you traditionalists, there is always the concrete shoes and deep ocean.

hope this helps.

I done see any doctor!!!!

hmm no question?

Even the line for the cat o nine is getting longer. In a technical sense, I am a Juris Doctor, though I put a little Esq. at the end of my name. But in the technical order of things I am a B.A., J.D. So I could, purely technically, be called the doctor. Though a simple "your Imperial Majesty" always works better.

Ask Jake anything, eh? Ok well here goes... I have a question I'm hoping you can answer for me...


Are monks supposed to have sex? I thought they weren't... but... I coulda sworn this monk was having sex at my house last night... and he really seemed to be enjoying those sex balls, maybe a lil too much :|


He was a dirty, dirty monk!! LMAO

Should I convert? Does my curent higherpower follow me?

depends on the monk..not all monks take vows of chastity. While it is true that isoaltion and distance from the pelasures of the flesh reduce the temtation to form excessive attachment to the illisions of the world, ther is nothing inhereently wrong in having sex. In Buddhism, the notion of sin, as it is known in the west, is alien.

The zen master Ikkyu was known to consort with prostitutes, and lawyers! Thus there is nothing worong witha monk having sex. Of course it may be that a man takes up the role of the monk because they have no opportunity, or time, to pursue a relationship with a woman of quality, and thus they would rather be alone than compromise.

Of course the behavior that you are desicribing, might also be two people showing of a sex ball, and really not be sexual in any way other than the animation. Were they dressed at the the time? or naked? was the converstaion erotic, or more run of the mill. Sometimes sex is just not sex.

the real failure is in judging the actions of others, perhaps before calling the monk in question dirty, you might look inot you own behavior and see where you might grow and expand your sesne of compassion and tolerance

you are your higher power. Its not a matter of coversion its a matter of seeing.

Thanks Jake

And your question is? I am told pain can enlighten.

Who Farted ???

You did.

The adage goes back to the plaground: he who smelt it, dealt it.