Ask Jake Anything

ok Jake, you seem pretty reasonable and I need an impartial opinion on this.

First the background info. There is a long running family tradition, dating back beyond the Civil War, were each male serves at least one stint in the Armed Forces. We live in a small town in the South, so tradition is a big deal. My oldest son always wanted to be a pilot and is now in the Air Force.

My youngest son however is 17, has the "I don't know what I want to do with my life" mentality. He isn't doing well in school and is indanger of not getting into whatever college he decides, if he decides thats what he wants. He doesn't really want to join up, but I think it would do him well, help him get some discipline and learn a few life lessons. I don't want to force him into anything he doesn't want, but like I said I think it would be beneficial to him.

Any suggestions on what I should do?

Dear Jake,

Is there anything people won't bitch about?

A good blowjob.

What is that blue stuff?

What's in it for me?

Accepting responsibility for yourself and your decisions is the hardest lesson to learn, or to teach. Nothing does this better than the Marines. You are correct that time spent in any service will transform him. But really he needs to have a no bullshit conversation about consequences. He has a few choices: get it together and get to college and become a doctor or a plumber or an electrician (trust me you don't want to be an apprentice tradesman without a college educations at this point, in a decade every electrican will have a degree). He can go inot the military and then to college. He can go to college and then the millitary. Or he can move out on his own, drop out and do nothing with his life. Just remind him that he really really must look at where he wants to be in thirty years.

If I have to answer this...you are missing the point.

What blue stuff, where?

tryig to make some sense of our question..the only blue stuff on my desk at the moment is glass, in the shape of a tynant water bottle, which is a lovely shade of cobalt.

Who's missing the point?

You are. lol whats in it for me..

What if oranges were called greens?

they would be orange greens

Jake is it all right if I interject? Wouldn't they be limes?

Do goats really eat tin cans?

No they would not. A lime is not an orange.

Why do men have nipples?...I mean, they serve no biological function whatsoever!

No. The do not. In fact goats are a bit persnikity when it comes to food. They will nibble most anything to see if its edible, but if does not match theri five-star dinning habits, they will not eat it.

men have nipples because the nipple is formed before the bab's gender is determined. And yes the do serve a biological fucntion..they give a woman something to bite on when she needs to explore the limits of your pain tolerance to decide how good a protector you would be.

when a cow farts in a pasture, and there's no one around to smell it, does it still stink?

In the experssoin
"you can't polish a turd"

Why can't you polish it? Is it bacause...
1) you really can polish a turd, but it doesn't do any good because you still have a turd when you're done
2) you can't polish a turd because if you try to polish one, you just ent up with a smudge and a ruined polishing rag
3) That expression is regional and you have never heard it before.

What the hell is the deal with this "Kyle XY" show? I mean, I hardly watch TV at all anymore, but I heard that it was an ARG so I started to get all into it, and was impressed with the first couple episodes, but then this Monday's episode like totally sucked and was all "teeny-bopper-drama" and hardly any "X-files" - and we're at episode #4 of 10, and it hasn't been near as immersive, engrossing, or complex as I would have expected from a professionally produced TV-show ARG... so should I keep watching or do I quit watching TV and find a different ARG?

Yes. scent is a physical reation to particulate stimulae and this stimulae is there whether anyone is round or not. Of course your basic example is flawed, because the cow is around to smell it.

well in general 3 is my first choice, 2 is my second choice and well 1 is also true.
However is your spend your time sorting this stuff out, please wash you hands with strong anti-bacterial soap before posting here.

I would quit watching TV and take up the x-box 360.

when a flock of birds all land on a telephone line, why do 99% of them all face the same direction? Why is one always backwards?