ok, your av vs. your gender

Thanks for the props to my grandpappy!! but how did a frivolous post about genderbending become a sometimes heated debate on BDSM and Gor? I missed that step in the logic.

They're blaming it on womans rights.. -.-
Its our fault cause we wanted to vote.. -.-
So therefore there is Gor and BDSM... -.-


(just being overly sarcastic ppl)

DAMN YOU, Susan B Anthony!!!

yeah i know.. lol

LOL @ Desade now being a last name here. Heh.

I like my last name.

Why the frown? I just though it was funny given the topic of conversation.

I'm a Woman in RL, And a Woman in SL.
However,
This doesn't stop me from Chasing Women because i am also a Lesbian in Both RL, and SL.

The greater Majorities CLAIM to be what they Play in SL, But then, I think Most of the People Exploring their roles as gender Opposite would be Loath to admit they are doing so. That is a flaw with all surveys, they take for Granterd that the responders are answering truthfully.

Angel.

One of the big reasons I've found when talking to males playing females and the original reason I created a female AV is the dearth of decent male content, a situation that is only just now beginning to change.

When I created my female AV I had about 5 outfits that I really liked, and I was disgusted with the available male AOs.

I had all but abandoned my male AV because of the lack of content. Most of the clothes available then and now for men were thugwear or crappy t-shirts. And don't even get me started on the hair.

Even now the lion's share of content is designed for and by women. But now that the tide is slowly changing with more quality designers making stuff for men, Kiamat has risen from the grave. New AO from Jonny Dusk (finally! I can walk like a man!), new hair from Trouble (ETD makes really good hair for men now, too), and some new threads from Parallax View, Pixel Dolls, and Bare Rose and I'm a happy camper....now if I can just find a new skin...

Anyway, the point is-one of the biggest reasons men make the switch has gone unmentioned in this thread. While I don't find anything wrong with gender swapping, I think you may see less of it as more quality content is made available for men.

-Kiamat Dusk
...capitalist...

Excellent point. So many of the custom-skinned male avatars I see out there all seem to follow only a few stereotype looks.

I made my own skins so I have the look I want. More adjustment is needed but I'm happy as of the moment. But hair remains the problem. I'm still trying to figure out how to achieve the right kind of wavy look and even more problematic, making a good-looking crew cut.

Thank you windozer – an european (small letter, correct). Bye Lorelei – an american (she writes “American”: incorrect). Bye bye Forum cuz yeah I dunno…I am just a moron. I say yes and they say I say no I say a thing and they say I dont I dont and they say I do. Plz ppl have mercy of this poor european (small letter, correct) moron. I cannot communicate a simple thought, here in my little cushioned room. God whispers: “Yeah dude uh-huh , right or wrong they are right wtf!”. And I: “Yep god (small letter, correct)”.
So I have dignity and curriculum vitae. Links to my writings are available. Btw something about Sade (1982, now in “Gaia” - 2004). My “real” e-mail (name and surname) is in Phil Linden’s blog. I am aware of my incoherence and that is silly to reply to silliness but this has gone too far. Marla’s keywords are “degrading” and “bigotry”. I centre on a part and someone says I am not thinking of the whole…To hold a dialogue implies the will to comprehend what the other says, not what You think the other says. You shoot from your bunker and then – deafened by the shot – you seek shelter in the mirror. In the end – the only real insult in this thread is “moron (you) cannot communicate a simple thought”. Yes, a bit of logic Lorelei: a treasonous person (who you are glad to be) insults in conditional mood. And your insult is not only pathetic, not only absurd: its your way of life. In conditional mood.
So I don’t say I won’t reply, - I won’t “read” this Forum anymore. Afk.

Exactly what type of drugs are you smoking, they seem fun.

If you get your hands on any, share? That post made my head spin.

OK, I just made fun of Stefano's post, because I cannot imagine that his failure to communicate is a language problem. Anyone have an opinion on this? Is it really a language problem or is he really batty?

If it is a language problem, I do owe him an apology.

One truly never knows :/

No, in English (American English, anyhow), it is indeed upper case. *shrug* Them's the facts, no need to argue about it.



And you say po-tay-to and I say pa-tah-to. Let's call the whole thing off.



I swear I'm not making fun of you here, but do you even know what treasonous means?

And about insults: If you didn't want them thrown at you, mayhap you should have considered that before you started in with the nationalistic slurs against Yankees and implying that anyone interested in D/s suffers from shrinking willie syndrome.

So, awaiting your reply again. You said you wouldn't last time, too.

No, I really don't think so, not entirely anyway.

Not knowing what "treasonous" means, maybe. But a language barrier is no excuse to slander Yankeedom.

Was kinda cool being called treasonous, though. Not even Kendra's done that.

When I first joined, I thought it might be fun to play around with being female, but I'm male and discovered I was not a very convincing female at all. So I've changed my avatar's gender to male, but I'm stuck with a somewhat female first name - which I'd like to change.

So far, I can't find out how to do that - looks like you can't. I guess I should have chosen a less gender-specific name.

Fixed.

In British English too, but depending on context. If describing someone as an american, or an european, then a small letter is sufficiant, but I think if using it as proper, you should use a capital. However, using a capital is never wrong, just sometimes not needed. I think.

ooo shiny thanks for sharing!

go on with your regularly scheduled flamewar

I guess its only important to losers who chase women across a club, or losers who chase men across a club for that matter.

General comments on the original topic of this thread not to anyone in particular, but mostly aimed at people who like poking in my business instead of sticking to their own:

Yes, both predatory women and men exist in SL and are just as aggressive, in their own ways of course. I've experienced both, in male and female avatars. I am quite good at being a convincing male - because I am sort of ambiguous in my mannerisms IRL, despite being very female in body. Not crossgender, but... hm. I've always been sort of "vague" about my orientation, often like to wear mens clothing on female avatars, etc - male avs wearing femme stuff, etc. I guess that's the best way to put it. I'm a very ambiguous XX, and I could care less what you believe (or not), it's not your business anyway. I'm not here for the SL lovedramas.

And if that person is AVOIDING you (I am not given to flirting with people I don't know VERY WELL, in which case they already KNOW what I am like IRL and these things are not issues), take a hint and leave them alone. No, you don't need to know if they're really a guy or a girl unless they are in a relationship with you. If they are avoiding relationships WITH YOU and avoiding your sexual advances, it doesn't matter what their RL gender is at all!

Get a life!

I'm a female playing a female character.


I did once log onto my male friend's account to give his avatar a make-over.

I changed his skin , his hair , his shape.

5sec after the makeover was done...I got two messages from two women who just saw the avatar telling me that 'I look hot'

So I replied 'thanks'

Since I suck at playing male avatars and since I don't know how real men react on compliments from women.

But it looks like it's not only the men that are on the prowl for some hot meat.

I'm coming to this thread late, but I wanted to say that I actually learned something from this thread, which is unusual. In particular, I gleaned some interesting insights from Shirley Marquez's excellent earlier post about the status of women in SL vs RL. The poll data itself is very interesting, too.

I hope this doesn’t get lost in the shuffle of an already very long thread.
I am writing this under the guise of an alt because I do not want my cover blown in Second Life. If asked I will not tell you who I am if you guess it please respect my privacy and do not post my name. As I proceed with this post it will be made clear why I wish to remain anonymous.

It is hard to figure out where to start but I suppose the beginning is the best place.
All my life I have known that what the mirror says didn't match what the brain said.
The body is male and the brain is female. With that came a life of confusion and wonder. The confusion of how can this be and the wonder of what do I do now?
After years of wrestling with this I worked up my courage and went to seek the advice of a psychologist. The goal in my mind was either rid this from my life or learn how to deal with this. “There is no cure for it and you need to learn how to cope. That will be eighty dollars” said the psychologist. I said how do I cope. I don’t know she said.
Eighty bucks lighter and still no answers came the long line of support groups.
The standard answer with them was if you even think about putting on a skirt you must be an automatic candidate for sexual reassignment surgery. Not an option for me. I never cared for the science or lack of standards behind it. Plus I had a family with small children and a career that I didn’t want to rock the boat in. Also to be brutally honest I have found there are times that are good to be the man. Considering for all the progress of woman’s liberation in the 60’s has made, we are still in a male dominated world. Also when camping being able to pee standing up doesn’t suck *grin* In short order I learned
I had to create my own support. Being a computer geek of the first degree I turned to the only thing I really knew and that was my computer.

The IRC (Internet Relay Chat) is an early form of the modern internet chat room.
To pose on there was easy /nick *insert girl name here* and I was off to the races.
Okay maybe not that easy. I was scared to death. In my mind I was sure there were hackers and cracker types who could just look at the screen and know the truth. Compiled with I was sure it was just one slip of the key stroke and my well crafted personal would come crashing down.. Turned out my fears were unfounded and spent many happy years on the IRC. On that fateful day when I typed “as a father of two” instead of “mother of two” in a conversation about child rearing. No one notice and if they did no one said anything. To this day I have never been exposed there.

Along comes Second Life. One day while doing some light net surfing on the subject of virtual reality, Second Life popped out of my browser. I pulled up the SL web page and the first thing that caught my eye was “Be anything you want to be” It was a interesting piece of bait for a person like myself but it did not really make a impact until I got to the question of gender on the registration page. Nervously I entered female and clicked he submit button. I have a RL first name that is a girl or boys name but I was sure they would figure out instantly and decline my application. After what seemed a very long time it was time to log in. I was in world a long time before I learned to relax.
I was expecting any day to get an email or telephone call saying “We do not want your kind in our game” but thankfully it has never happened and I have enjoyed a long stay in Second Life.
What does posing do for me? First of all I am firm believer that gender resides between your ears and not between your legs. I know what I am. I just need to find an outlet for it that works. Cross dressing in the real world does not work for me. I do not pass at all. Not even the best team of makeup, hair and clothing people from Hollywood could fix that. Let’s face there is no way to hide you top out over 6 feet tall even in the shortest of heels or hands the size of frying pans. Second Life allows me to express how I really view myself. I play a rather average non descript female compared to a lot of females you see in game. You will never see me with a size EEEE bust size or wearing a skirt slit up to my arm pits. That is not me. I would not dress that in real life. If god by some stroke of generosity waved his hand and made me a real woman this very second. I would pretty much look like my avatar in Second Life.

Why is my privacy so important to me and not post this under my main character. Something I have observed from being around other transgender people is that no matter how well they pass and I know some that I could take home to mom for Sunday dinner and no one would be any wiser to the fact they are a guy. The fact is once people know you’re not a girl there is a pause. Many folks will bend over backwards to be polite and try to treat you like any other woman but there is still that pause. You can hear in their voice and often how they act. By never letting on to the fact I am not a girl in rl I never experience the “pause”

Using Second Life as an outlet for this has been a god send I will do everything in my power not ruin it. There are three people in world who know who I am. My wife and two very close friends. To this date no one has ever guessed what my real gender is and I hope they do not. If they did it would mean starting over from scratch with a new av and having to make new friends. Shades of going into the witness protection program *grin*
I have walked among you. I know some of the people who have been posting to this thread.. It is not my intention to lie or defraud anyone. Actually I feel your seeing my true self something that most of my friends in real life do not get to see.

Things I will do as a woman in Second Life.
I will have fun. I will attend parties, hang out with my friends. Create content, sell content and buy content. I will not cyber. I prefer the real thing over typing bad lines from porno flicks and watching cartoon characters screw. If there is a need to tell someone I will tell them. This has come up only twice.
Most importantly I will be what I feel is my real self. Unless I am going to date you there is no reason to know what my true gender is. BTW I am very happily married so I do not see that happening.

I want to thank you for reading this. It is a bit long but I have always wanted to respond to the question of av and gender in the forums. It was only after open registration started I could create a non de plume to post under. Please save me the spelling and grammar flames I am not a writer by trade. This is an attempt to show you the world from my point of view. Please ask questions I will try to reply as fast as I can.




(okay the formating is a littel funky but my laptop is dying)