Sex in Secondlife

I've been away for a long time. So coming here recently has been a bit depressing. Nothing seems to have changed except the spiralling downward thrust of loss of freedom of expression and the growing sense that this wonderful Dada world is inflating itself as a moral scripture of behaviour.

Forums's all gonna end soon in a bonfire of vanities so here is my final (probably) question for you ...

Do you consider sex in secondlife to be masturbation or consent between two (or 3 or 4) partners? We all wank. I do it (and I do it very elegantly). You do it. Lindens do it. BUT, when you do it in sl do you do it in a "one-handed" way (so to speak) or in a sharing and consensual way with your partner or one-nighter?

Why do I ask - well, this whole PG, Mature and Adult ratings game is based on how and why and where we masturbate, isnt it?

While there's some truth to the two being semi-related, I'd say these changes are really about how these activities look from inside SL. It's a PR-inspired 'clean up our public image' type thing. Any candid behind-the-keyboard details are meaningless as far as the changes are concerned. It's all about how it appears.

I would agree with that....

But I, from the perspective of those actually participating in intimate behaviors, I'm going to assume it carries a lot more weight that just appearances.

I say this without bias because I don't do 'sex' in SL I did.....way back in the beginning, as more of a curious exploration of just exactly what was possible between two avatars. But it never meant anything to me....it never turned me on.....I never developed any kind of connection to anyone. It was pixel clinical and ultimately completely empty and boring. I moved past the fascination pretty quickly. I'm a realist, with a RL partner to do all those nifty things with which is way more appealing to me.

My views, however, are based on what I've observed and read......witnessed. People DO form relationships in SL......and in forming those bonds, people are bound to explore via SL those aspects that they cannot exlore IRL, due to logistics, physical seperation. I think it is quite human and natural and it has been so clouded and skewed with all this AO crap it's almost becoming fodder for future sit-coms. The bottom line is this is supposed to be a cyber based society......community.....and with-in any community....these things take place. If it becomes too sterile.....too pg......it ceases to be any kind of true environment for human beings to connect. I see it as superficial.....without substance....like, as someone said in another thread...."Pleasantville" Black & White, no color. Blaaaghh.

I don't "get off" on SL sex, and I try to do as much SL sex as I can...

To me, its silly fun. I giggle away as I watch my avatar getting her pixel-perfect jollies on my screen, and then try to think of the most erotic yet silly things to type into SL for my cybering.

For me, its just a fun and casual way to socialize in SL. My little neko avatar is the bonobo of SL - you extend a handshake to greet someone, my little kitty spreads her legs. So... no relationships to it. More just kicks.

Sure, some of my partners are very turned on by it, but hey; that's their thing, and I have no problems with that. More power to them. But I make it as clear as I can that I'm not forming any RL bonds over SL sillies. To me, the very idea of getting emotional over some other avatar is illogical.

It's not getting emotional over some other avatar, it's the 2 at the keyboard actually forming the bonds. The AVs and SL are used to project. It's a "kick start" for the visualisation, the same one that goes on in your mind.

Isn't that true for just about everything in SL though? I dress up in a pretty gown to go ballroom dancing in SL. My mind and imagination goes along with that.

Do the people at the keyboards that are nekos in SL feel different if they remove their tails and ears in SL?

Why do so many RP withing SL? It's because they can use their mind to transport them. And here in SL it is visualized.

In our case: it's the distance that makes it impossible for "actual encounters" - but that doesn't mean that what goes on between our AVs doesn't affect us. That is not "real" in it's own way. It's one of the ways we have to communicate, besides typing, voice, what have you.

OK - and, well, besides the "one on one" - it is a way to 'discover' and 'expand' different aspects of the subject. Maybe play some of the things through in your mind, and on screen before 'attempting' something in RL. Maybe one has tried, and the other hasn't and it's the means of communicating the experience.

There are just too many aspects to this.

Yes, for some it's just watching pixels clash for the fun of it, for some just a pixelized porno, and for some it may be more. And it may be all three at one time for everybody. It depends a lot on our mood - what's on our minds at the time.

This.

I'm not saying SL sex is wrong. It's just not for me.

It's been a long time since I've done sex in SL. Even at that time though, I was never good at typing one-handed NOR was I good at pleasuring myself one handed. So sex in SL was 100% roleplay albeit roleplay that I might mentally REplay during fantasies later....

Welcome back.

The last time I tired to respond to a thread with this topic it got locked. And who can blame LL for wanting to suppress the "scandalous" topics that the press seems to dwell on and blow out of proportion?

I have not engaged in any cybering in the two + years I've been a resident. I have nothing against it, and indeed as I AM a guy I thought I would be very interested, but as it turns out I'm not. I even created alts for the purpose, but it's still the same guy behind the keyboard who is just not interested I guess.

I think if I did do it, it would be more as a role play situation or a kind of mutual collaboration on a love scene for a story -- something I might use as a springboard for a fantasy to consummate one way or another later on, away from SL. But that's all moot. It will probably never happen.

The closest I'll probably ever approach it is making occasional admiring comments to the ladies in a safe environment that should not let them feel threatened. Hopefully that makes them feel good and not all slimey and creeped out.

Anyway to answer your question, I feel that sex in SL is more of an unfolding mutual love scene or role play based on my understanding of what is going on during it. To others it may be something different.

I have missed your questions, Jig.

I think that the question that has been asked is an inappropriate topic to be discussed in a PG forum.

I rp not being interested in sex in sl.

Pep (But *still* women pester me. )

PS IBTL now Cato has noticed the thread.

Given that these forums are (or damn well better be) populated exclusively by adults, since I have been told the teen grid residents cannot visit these; and the grid itself is (or damn well better be) populated exclusively by people who have claimed to be legal adults (the law being that we ourselves have no way to dispute the claim therefore we have a reasonable assumption that they are adults as they claim), and that sex does happen in SL.....

If not these forums, then where? These forums are meant to be a place where we can actually discuss things with the general SL population. This IS a question that is a valid question to direct at the population in general, and the last time I checked this was the only venue we had available that was intended to be used for that purpose and actually promoted by the powers-that-be.

Very appropriate question and appropriate for these forums, PG or not. Perhaps the PG rating is the problem instead of the question itself.

*reads Cato's reply*

*reads Cato's sig*

*scratches her head, shrugs, and finally figures those who travel the "moral high road" don't need to practice what they preach*

I think that is very much the crux: the things we do in SL would be very dull if they were just a replication or poor shadow of our RL activities. Any kind of interaction with other avs is stimulating on some level but of course it is easier to take an interest in situations that have vivid 'colour', which can often mean sex or some form of RP that takes us out of our RL selves.

As for the somewhat prurient question of how and why and where we masturbate, I don't do voice and I rarely have the requisite hand free to manage it online, which isn't to say I might not have a few ideas for later. Whether that is something I do with myself or share with someone in RL is an entirely private question to which I reserve the answer.

However I would say that I am less disturbed at the notion of someone whacking off in a cyber session as opposed to insisting on an idle chat about their routine, which is more than likely happening somewhere far removed from my location and interest. I may be lacking in basic social skills but the mundane varieties of idle chat that teeter on the brink of weather talk do nothing for me.

I probably agree with all your arguments in principle but the appropriate authorities have said that the forums are PG. Until those authorities change their mind about the status of the forums discussions about Adult activities should not be conducted in the forums. I have no answer about an alternative place to have these discussions but I am sure now you have asked that question it will be answered here.

are you kidding me? seriously? lol...........

I consider it consensual. I don't "get off" during cybersex and I've never done it with someone that I was not extremely fond of. In fact, our best sex was "done" while cuddled up on a rug and not moving at all. To me, the act of arousing her and making her smile in RL during the act is what it's all about (oh, it goes the other way, too)

/me blushes

There is not one word, phrase, or implication in Jig's post that could not be brought up on PG prime time American television.

You are of course pulling our legs.

Its LLs standard we have to follow not prime time American television's.

While I agree this thread is completely inappropriate and just downright creepy for even asking...Cato you really need to open up your own forum and leave the moderating up to the lindens.

Consent. And I never feel like a wank or want to watch others on pose or like to use really active pose balls.

I don't really relate to the "cartoon-ish" side of it.

It's more a matter of stiller pose balls which can be kinda suggestive I guess, like naked in my garden in posed some lewd way etc.

Then it's only if I am dead fond of the girl, pretty much trust she's a girl real life too and then it's talking to each other, sometimes not even about actual sex or fetish...

I might have been more of a casual root rat on SL if I had not found other stuff to do, like building and so forth.

But it's most definitely consent and is a fuck. I don't if it'd be r/p or cyber sex really.

It's consent for everyone really, not matter how they feel, pose ball or IM or groups, it's all down to if or not you press the button.

That!

IBTL

It's mine, all mine! I always thought it should be.

I am not moderating anything. I believe I have a right to express my opinion here. Are you going further than LL and want to suppress me expressing that opinion.

If the original question violates the forum guidelines, then someone who copied and pasted it as a quote in their reply was also violating the terms, surely.