Friends With Benefits

Paris Hilton would *want* her voice recorded and played for all to hear.

Gee, I used to think I liked you, sort of, but you're coming off as a condescending, judgemental bitch. I have a feeling that you are really lonely and envious of those with more exciting lives. I went through this phase when I was like 14. Attacking others for my own flaws; everything was all about me me me. I guess that's exactly what you remind me of. I also think you are a lot different than you say you are. You're intelligent, though, and may someday see the light, so there is hope.

Kudos to Jig for being so upbeat in her response to your insults. (I should take a lesson from that myself.)

Cheating is violating your agreements, whatever they may be.

I wish I could have thought of a funny response, though!

I also think that stating I have FWBs also expresses my personal control of who I give out to and when. Sl is perfect for that.

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson?

Not sure she'd have the know-how to log in to SL tho ...

Rioko: I apologize for my rant above -- posts like that are inappropriate. If you didn't intend to be offensive and condescending, then I doubly goofed.

Someone recently asked what the worst character flaw is. My reply was "malice"; that's what I can least abide others. Yet my post above was malicious. I'll have to give myself a time-out to reflect on that. Tsk tsk!

I think there are two aspects of sex. There is the purely physical aspect and then there is the emotional part. Usually (yes, I am generalizing and stereotyping here) women need much more of the emotional fulfillments in order to be happy, whereas many men can be very happy in life by simply getting the physical satisfactions. Personally, I find that there are good reasons for both and times that I want each one. Sometimes, it is my heart, my emotions, that needs to be satisfied - and the only thing that works there is an emotional connection with someone. Other times, I really just want the physical pleasure. In RL, those are usually the times when many of us make do with self-pleasuring. Those are the times where a really good RL 'friend with benefits' would be nice. SL does make this pure physical fulfillment much easier.

/me starts considering names, discarding many and tossing a few into the pile to be looked at a bit more.

THIS cannot be stressed enough !!!



What many people do not think about though, is that there are all types of marriages and all types of RL situations. Many folks may be married in RL, but not necessarily for all the right reasons. And many cannot or will not disolve those RL relationships for a variety of reasons that nobody else can really judge.

Yes, the second part is sort of a contradiction of the first statement....... but then, life is full of contradictions and confusing scenerios.

I'm friendly!

Group names, or friend names? If the latter, I sure hope I'm in the pile!

You're in my own private special pile.

How about enemies with benefits?

Pros:

1. Enemy becomes less hostile to you.

2. You won't feel awkward if you don't feel any emotion to them.

3. Gather personal information to hurt them.

I've heard you should "keep your friends close... and your enemies closer" but that's taking it a bit far.

I can be a friend with benefits, but the benefits might not be anything naughty or mysterious.


Stuff I can offer:

a) want 40 people to flashmob somebody? I can arrange that

b) scary awesome estate powerz for a few minutes

c) want to look like Desmond? I can give you my shape, it's stupid but worth a laugh

d) I tell stories sometimes, people say they like listening, amazingly enough


Are those good benefits? What more would anyone really want from someone like me, anyhow? Seriously...

Are you saying we've got gas? Darn those beans...

I like hearing stories. The rest I can do without.

I've only skimmed the thread, so probably missed a lot.

Friends with benefits, to me, means a friend (as in someone I can get along with, converse with) who I also have physical fun with. Not someone I use sex with to get some material gain. But I guess I'm odd in that way...

Now, why some people are steadfastly following the mainstream religious RL norm of monotom.. monogamy in SL? For the same reason others dress up as horses, or stick a pair of fairy wings on - Because that's how they want to live their Second Life. Are they missing the point? No, the ones missing the point are the ones who think a fantasy world means everyone should drop their personal mores and gather in a fur flying, fluid flowing frenzy. Not that I'm saying I have anything against furries, or furries who yff. Or even furries who yiff in group scenarios. It is not my thing (the fur rather than the other elements but I believe the grid is big enough for people who want that to have it, the same as those who want mohogan.. monogamy are unlikely to find themselves in similar settings to those I frequent.

There's plenty of people who see no point in pixel perversions of culturally acceptable through to the most depraved, they may not be overly sexual, they may simply not get any enjoyment from textual cartoon inspired self loving. They equally have plenty of space to do things they enjoy. Again, I'm unlikely to ever meet them, but I won't try and ravage them so long as they don't try and curtail my pleasures.

Is any of the sexual stimulation cheating? Probably. In fact, almost certainly a great deal of it is. But is it cheating if the other partner in a relationship is aware, or even condones it? Somebody said something about a woman in a rl relationship wouldn't be judged so favourably - Well, that's not always true. There's plenty of couples who partake in consenting, open moments with others, and some do look for a diverse and large number of partners. Your neighbours might be just such a couple, but they're unlikely to ever tell you, as society is still fixated with "moral norms" handed down over the millennia. My personal feelings are biology is very much contrary to society on that issue, but my main gripe is the obsession with enforcing monopo.. monogamy viewpoints on those who do not feel complete in a one partner lifestyle. Not those who enjoy and are satisfied with sharing their lives and body with only one person, again, it's about what fulfils you personally. But I digress, my point is cheating is very much down to personal perception. For some a hug might be bordering on adultery, for others the use of hands or mouths is OK so long as there's no "ultimate", and others still only consider it cheating when their partner doesn't invite them or tell them about it later. Every individual has a line they draw, and every couple should be aware of their lines and respect them. If that line prevents someone from one handed enjoyment of others through a virtual world, then it is cheating. But even then, the marriage or partnership might be one of failing foundations, or of distance meaning it's better to use a hand and share an imagination, than be overpowered by lust and find a real body to make use of.

Overall it's a complex thing, and there's no chance in hell of everyone coming to agreement with each other. So instead of worrying about it, why not just accept everybody has different desires, needs and morals, and leave them to enjoy themselves?

QFT!!! You may be offended or wonder why we don't do anything we want to do in SL; I may be offended at your attitude of anything *you* don't do being part of the "moral majority."

You stated that monogamy was "over the top," I've long thought you are over the top on most issues. I've chalked it up to your youth mainly.

And as for not doing whatever we want here that we can't in RL, I AM doing what I want...and I prefer monogamy.

ETA: Your description of "friends with benefits sounds like you using someone to get what you want, and that I find deceitful.

Angry sex.

Jus' sayin.

*Clicks Mmmm pie! button*

The pie was eaten.

Well, let's put it like this, sunshine; I'm not about to take that chance.

I love this "it's not all about you" crap. Actually, if I chance using my voice here, it really is all about me. I take that chance; it's my career or personality or privacy on the line.

It may cause you to doubt, but by sheer chance just by being here and in chat or IM, I have met a lawyer who I know in real. And uncannily, a man I met not so long ago actually lived on the same small village street as one of my uncles in UK. I am very hesitant to let any guard down even in rea let alone sl. In real I have a high fence and live in a very gated environment, amply alarmed and prickling with "keep out". I like that.

There's one thing money buys: privacy.

Personally I dont want to hear anyone's voice in sl; its jarring and inappropriate and if people wanna hear my voice for some personal titilation of their own fantasies they can think again. You can keep wondering about my voice - I am not gonna indulge in phone sex or camming. If people are so insecure with their own sexuality that they simply cant accept I am a woman, then so be it.

I wont communicate with anyone out of sl who I meet here, so just be happy I'm a fast typist.

Why are you apologizing for what you said to someone who called me an "attention whore"? Consider yourself unfriended. And f. your benefits.

I am so glad I dont have the need to ave high fences around my home in fact i have none. I am so glad I do not need keep out signs and most of all I am so glad I dont need to feel paranoid that any one would want to bother me in rl.
So glad I live in the country I do

To the original post, I reply:

I like how it feels to be the premier in a person's thoughts and mind. I enjoy the attention and feel that it is what I deserve for my thoughts and efforts.
If they expect the same in return that is what they get. Additionally as with my case. They are the only person that I want. I am courting them in SL for RL.

And that is why I have a fence.