Friends With Benefits

I was going to make what in the end was a very naive comment concerning my impression that it was the avatars having sex.

But Jig has cleared that up for me.

thank you

Pru

I was going to make what in the end was a very naive comment concerning my impression that it was the avatars having sex.
You mean it wasn't?

And so we are back to the "Are you your avatar?" thread...

If it isn't avatars having sex then who is it? Aren't you your av when you are online? Everyone has an opinion, seems like the opinion is that you can screw anything that stands still long enough so long as it doesn't hurt anyone. But it does.
Behind every av there is a rl person. Do you seriously believe that in RL you would think it was ok for your partner to 'sleep' 'have sex' with apparently hundreds of men/women and that you would say 'oh fine that's just the way he/she is'.

Oh dear, our educational system has really gone to hell in a handbasket.

Since this is the third time you have asked about the difference that spelling makes in these words, I'm going to help you out:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/
Just type in the box located in the upper left corner of the main window. (Better yet, copy and paste.)

confidant
confidante

confident
confidence

Gosh, people in this thread -- on both sides of this question -- are getting judgmental.

There are, it seems to me, no "rules" beyond those which we, as couples, establish for ourselves. I myself am very monogamous: I wouldn't tolerate an RL lover who had in in-world lover who wasn't me, and I wouldn't stand for an SL lover who had other SL lovers. And I would have reservations about an SL lover who was committed in RL. I don't expect to be judged for that: it's the way I am. I need emotional commitment. If that doesn't work for you, that's fine: those are MY rules of engagement, so to speak, and if they aren't acceptable, then you'd better find someone else. Similarly, I'm not going to insist that someone abide by my rules against his will: if this isn't fine with him, then I'll look elsewhere too.

The same applies, however, for those who have "open" relationships of various types. So long as it's understood by and acceptable to both partners, I don't see anything wrong with having lovers on the side; the complication HERE is that I'd suggest that the situation would also have to be acceptable to those other lovers as well.

I find some of these judgmental attacks on "open relationships" in SL a little ironic, given that many, and probably most SL relationships are occurring between people who already have different RL attachments. Why is it ok to "cheat" on your RL partner, but not on an SL one?

Again, the key here is harm: if you can be sure that what you are doing isn't hurting someone else, then it's fine. If there is any chance that it is, or potentially could, then I think you should rethink.

Jig,I like you. Sort of.But your personality really comes off as a self serving attention whore. You should probably work on that a bit if you want true friendships in life. I have a feeling that you are really lonely and are not telling the truth about half the stuff you state. I went through this phase when I was like 14. Making up stories for attention, everything was all about me me me. I guess that's exactly what you remind me of. I also think you are a lot younger than you say you are. Some day you will grow up though,so there is hope.

What claim does a SL partner have over their SL partners RL partner if they are not the same person? Is sleeping with your RL spouse considered cheating on the SL partner?
Granted there may be intense emotional attachment but still the SL partner is not a complete package. And for that fact, is it truly cheating if there is no physical contact?

ouch, that hurts my head.


Pru

Good questions. I can't think of anything more hypocritical than a RL married person complaining about their SL lovers cheating.

And in my little opinion,I think sharing any intimate moments,whether cyber sex is involved or not is cheating. I don't believe it takes physical contact to cheat.

This is very much my view. For me, emotional faithfulness is more important than physical monogamy. (Which is not say that I wouldn't be pissed off by a violation of the latter in a lover either.)

Well, some times you jump out of the gate with a royal Tude, depending on how something was phrased.

Agreed. Which is why I suggested that BOTH sides in the debate were to blame.

next then is the obvious question.
Is self gratification cheating?

and I’m done for the evening so I will have to wait till next time for that answer.

This is a hard one but maybe your left hand could feel your cheating if you use your right one

"I have a recognizable voice to a certain portion of teh real population." I would wonder how recognizable it really is. Think about the large amount of ppl in SL from all over and if they knew you would they be able to recognize your voice hell in SL members of my RL family have not been able to recognize mine. If someone did know it was you from RL so what you think they would track you down? Remember its not all about you

... and this surprises you, why?

Jig's questions are nearly always phrased in a biased or even judgmental fashion, so a judgmental response is only to be expected.

But what if your friend is an ageplayer?

I kinda like to think of myself as more of a "fame monster" than an "attention whore"
Just put it all down to being the centre of attention for a long time - I seriously can't help it - and really believe peopel love me rather than just "like me".

By the way, Scylla is that strange sl relationship with me - my sl sister although she avoids me like the plague when she can. She can say what she likes about me but I know deep down its all "good" with her.

Besides this place is getting way way too quiet without Pep around and I can do it better than him by injecting good humour into the "feed" - I'm natural at it and way better than he was at razzing peopel to comment. You can make people laugh and love you than make peopel spit and hate. I am a laugh and love you kinda avatar

Only child?

Well, sisters often have somewhat fraught and complex relationships.

(And I do NOT avoid you like the plague! )

That is a good philosophy, also known as "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar".

Even when you fish for a reaction, you do it with humor and without the intention to hurt anyone's feelings, and you don't take yourself too seriously. Your threads sometimes lead to interesting discussions, and almost always give me a chuckle, especially the made-up words.

(I'm still waiting for you to post a pic of an egglog.)

Patience, Grasshopper. You can post this in a new thread on Friday.

Maybe more like a bad case of food poisioning?

Wow, my feelings exactly. I have an FWB in RL. Although it can get complicated. ^_^

You always come when I call. Thank you.
(And the rock concert was well worth a moment's transgression). Aphra Behn once wrote that of all sins, the ones that involve love will be the most quickly forgiven by God.