just ignore and let this one die

This - exactly

No!!!!
You will regret it -

no i won't. #1, i don't believe in regret. #2, i do it every couple of years. it grows back!

Wow- He's human after all!
And yes, the guy behind him is funny -

only a human can have that many flaws....

Look at it from the perspective of the person trying to reach you. They have some painful bit of news they have to deliver and it's only natural to want to get that over with as quickly as possible. I would find it very stressful to have that hanging over my head.

There may be other factors as well. For example, in the Jewish tradition, there is no embalming, and burials must therefore occur as quickly as possible - the day after the death, normally, or at most two days if the death occurs the day before Shabbat. So there is a real need to let friends and family know, and to make arrangements, with extreme haste.

Well - fine! OK- regret and haircuts- might be too strong an association- mine wont get past my shoulders

Re death- i resent death a lot- but i learned not to dwell on it. I go to services when i need to - i see it as a social grease sort of thing. But i don't visit grave sites- sems pointless. My father died years ago- i never went back- he is dead - i remember him just as well at home- cemeteries seem terribly morbid. Wd rather just be cremated and disposed of in any way when i am gone.

I recall that Maude episode when one of her exes died and they traveled some where to scatter his ashes over a lake- somehow they got a strangers ashes who happened to be a plumber- the maid cleaning the room flushed the ashes down the toilet. Maude said he had a fitting repose. "... and then there's Maude..."

Great pic!

What are those?

Hee. They was some skery stories too!

i just cut 3" off the other day, and i'm still bored with it. i need something fresh and sassy.

A type of geranium.

I agree Brenda. The person will still dead in the morning. Unless I needed absolute help or support at that moment,I can't see me calling anyone to wake them up to tell them.

When my aunt died, my mother called me at like 4 am. I loved my aunt with all my heart,(she was more like my mother than my actual mom was growing up) and was devastated for a long time after she died, but all I kept thinking during the phone call was WTH am I supposed to do about it at 4 am and 100 miles away?

I'm not sure if I qualify in either category. However my answer is most likely a good example of the difference between men and women.

With the help of a lady friend I choose my hairstyle sometime in early 2008.

With the exception of a rare special occasion, the last time I change my hairstyle was sometime in early 2008.

As far as RL goes, I'm not saying when my I last changed my hairstyle.

yep, you're a guy. It's OK...just so long as you change your underwear a little more often than your hairstyle.

LOL

I keep those changed on a regular basis, just like mom taught me.
Just in case I get in an accident, ya know.

On the subject of death, let's say if they made some magical pill that allowed you to stay alive forever.No matter what, you would never die or age. Would you take it? Personally, I would not. Not that I am particularly fond of dying, but damn I would think life would be incredibly boring after a few hundred years.

The guy behind Obama is the French President, Nicolas Sarkozy.

I'd pass on it as well. Part of the fun in life is knowing it could all end tomorrow.

One thing you could do at 4 AM 100 miles away is be there on the other end of the line for your mom, who (I presume) had just lost her sister. Like I said to Brenda, the desire for immediate notification can be as much about the notifier as it is about the notified. Sometimes the shock of losing someone is great and you just want to reach out and hear a comforting voice. Even if the caller can't put that feeling into words, it may be an important underlying part of the need to reach someone right away.

I'm sorry that you had your sleep disturbed for news you feel you could have waited a few hours for, but please consider the possibility that it wasn't just about notifying you.

Obviously I know nothing about your mother, her relationship with your aunt, or the specifics of this situation, so it's entirely possible that none of the above applies. But still, I guess I'm just a little shocked to see comments like this, that don't seem to show much compassion for what the people doing the calling may be feeling at the time. I know that both of you, Brenda and Rioko, are nicer than these comments sound. I really hope I would never begrudge a 4 AM phone call from someone who had just lost a family member, even if the person who died wasn't someone I knew at all.

Just do what you did, comfort your mother and let her comfort you. No matter what your mom said, it's quite possible that the call came out of her own upset, rather than her feeling that YOU had to know immediately.

Death happens every day, but some lucky people go for years and years without having a death in the family, and it hits such folks particularly hard. I've come to expect a little extreme behavior from both friends and family at such times.
.

Yep. Obama's a guy.

Sarkozy is..well...Sarkozy. *chuckles*

re death: While I was stationed on Diego Garcia, my grandfather died. My mother didn't try to contact me, instead she put the news in her next letter. I was livid. While I wouldn't have been able to get leave, and travel half-way around the world to attend his funeral, I felt robbed of the chance to send flowers, and my respects. Learning at 4am, or the following morning, I can handle either. But before or after the funeral? That to me is a very strict line.

I'd agree with you both, if my mother was actually upset at the time. The phone call was more like a guess what happened type of call. Which I'm sure she was just in shock at the time,but there was no urgency or sadness in her voice and was very matter of fact about the whole thing. Which is why I prefaced it by saying unless I needed absolute support or help at the moment,I would wait till the morning to call.

All that two minute phone call did was send me into sadness and a frenzy of anxiety wondering how I was going to drive to Boston later on that day on three hours sleep.(Because there was no way I was going to be able to go back to bed at that point.)

*hugs everyone*

My parents did the very same thing, Jerboa, when my dear grandfather died. I was out of town, and it would have been very, very difficult for me to get to Massachusetts in time for the funeral. So, realizing that, my parents chose not to tell me...until it was all over. I was, to use your word, LIVID, that my parents took that choice away from me.

Yeah. *nods sadly*

When my Dad died (suddenly and unexpectedly), my Mom was very matter-of-fact. Indeed, her largest voiced concern was in the vein of housekeeping - it was for some reason very important that my brother go through Dad's clothing immediately and take what he wanted out of the house. As if Vikings were arriving to pillage Dad's closet the next day.

Denial is a weird weird thing.

Grief came later.
.

I'm not talking about a delay in days or more, nor is Madhu's religious necessity a factor. I just think we fool ourselves and think things have to be done in a certain manner, or we feel we have to appear to act a certain way.

Your example is a good one, when my Dad died, my oldest brother was in England. It happened in what would be the middle of the night for him and his family, so we decided to wait until their morning to relay the news. If he had been stationed say in Virginia, I would have called, and if I didn't get an answer, I would have waited a couple of hours and tried again. I would not have jumped in the car and sped down I-95, to show up banging on his front door.

It's just how I see things, I don't expect anyone else to, nor do I take issue at how they would gandle it.