keeping it in SL....

Yes, particularly the bit about a "mystical state" . . .

Pie ( . . . several beers do the same for me)

Lol whatever gets you there.

You can love a salad; without desiring to spend (excess) time with it, to be close to it physically, to develope an emotional bond with it; without trusting it or wanting it to trust you; even without revealing your innermost self to it; yet you can still love it, for what it is, and while it lasts.

Speak for yourself.

(radicchio are good snugglers.)

"a favorable relationship with a salad?" I don't think so.

Pie (has never met a vegetarian Frenchman)

Tete de veau is disgusting...

*threadjack!*

I agree with everything that Ceera said.

I also disagree with everything she said.

That is, it works both ways. I'm sure there are authors who identify seriously with their characters and practially live vicariously through them. I've certainly heard excellent authors talk about how their characters behaved regardless of their creators' intentions. I suspect that some novelists have carefully controlled multiple personality disorders!

I also believe that many actors actually feel the emotions they're portraying. They don't "turn on the tears", they get sad and cry.

In most cases, though, both of the above hang up the alternate personality, for the most part, when the writing session or shooting is done. No doubt though, in many cases, they have a hard time doing that.

I'm sure SL is the same way. Some people play a role with detachment. Others play a role they invest themselves into. And others don't "play" at all, they just be themselves.

All these types can have SL-only relationships, handling it in different ways. However, many people can't handle it at all, and that's not a flaw, it's just who they are.

I'm like Lil. I'm me, for the most part. Sure, I play-act at times for the enjoyment of myself and others, but I'd do that in RL too when appropriate. (My RL isn't into "games", but if she were, I'd play along.) The feelings I have are genuine, but the limitations are what they are: no RL.

I've had very tempting offers, but due to my RL commitments, the most I will do is fantasize about them -- though I do have some fun with that!

"Madame Bovary - c'est moi!" - Gustave Flaubert



"Acting is living truthfully under imaginary circumstances." - Sanford Meisner (RIP)

Suspending disbelief takes imagination; people have this trait in varying degrees. Also some people have poor boundaries. Combine lack of one with too much of the other, you have impending crash, and not the LL variety.

/me makes a note not to accept any invitations to dinner with Sir Anthony Hopkins

Pie (might be on the menu)

Lol.

Most actor-villains are the nicest people RL...so I've heard/found. (Repressed types tend to splode.)

Hooked and landed.

No, that's fish.

Pie (the French do like fish)

Precisely, my fine finny friend.

Yes, I have never really worked out why the French seem to like me.

Pie (perhaps because I get by in their language, unlike most English speakers)

The same reason Anthony Hopkins does.

Ok, I wasn’t going to post in this thread. But after reading some responses I am going to actually respond in a try and honest way.

The poster asked the question How do you keep in in SL.

The question is much more complex then that. The real question becomes what is your reasons for coming to SL? Everyone that joins is looking for something. Now what you are looking for can change at times but usually there is a deep rooted reason for taking on a second life. That reason may not even manifest itself for some time. Some people join because they are missing something from there marriage such as intimacy, or just being accepted for who and what you are. or could be a simple as someone who wants to live out a fantasy from rl that they know the could never do. When you come to sl and start a relationship however, you are starting a relationship and that includes feelings that are as real in sl as rl. The only other option is you came to sl for sex and there are places you can go and find that in no strings attached fashion. When you start a relationship in sl you are involving emotions and feelings that not only you are experiencing but so is your partner. Psychologist Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is made up of three elements: attachment, caring, and intimacy. Attachment is the need to receive care, approval, and physical contact with the other person. Caring involves valuing the other persons needs and happiness as much as your own. Intimacy refers to the sharing of thoughts, desires, and feelings with the other person. When one falls in love with someone else for who they are, not there physical appearance then very true emotions and feelings will surface. It is find to love the whole package, looks, brains, and all however many people mistake lust for love and that is nothing more then a physical, sexual desire.

You cannot put love in a box, it is non-conforming, it does what it wants and nobody can control it. You can block it but the feeling is very real and can be very intense. So to answer the original question you cannot keep them separate if the feeling is real. So if the feeling is real then you have to decide if it is deep enough to take outside to rl. As for me personally. That is my professional opinion.

As for my personal opinion. I do believe with all my heart you can find someone and fall in love. There can be complications from that but I am real and my feelings are real and if it is right then it is right.

Man-eaters?

Pie (I can't comment in a PG forum)

And as for me i still feel them when not logged into SL myself... Nothing pretend.....yes there can be complications howeve if the feelings are real and true then sometimes it takes time but the complications can be worked through......and the love is allowed to grow.............

I was going to make a joke about loving a salad vs. loving a girl, but I think I'll stow that one away for the non-PG IMs.

I do believe it is very possible to find love as you have proven. Bottom line is you have to allow the heart to open and feel the love and have the desire to follow it through. I guess for some people they can shut off that part of them and though it may allow them not to be hurt, it also deprives them of much joy.

Maintaining any type of romantic relationship takes effort and commitment. In SL even more so. Time and distance, RL situations, SL monkey wrenches, etc. SL can be frustrating for a casual user as it is, let alone someone with any investment in it. But it can be done as some have shown. If that is what both parties want, and can make it work, good for them. Take it wherever you can find it.

I find it very difficult to seperate RL feelings and SL feelings. If I care about someone in SL, then I care about them in RL. Same goes for love. I find you can fall deeper in love through the internet (SL, chat... take your pic) because you do not have the distractions of the RL AND the only thing you can do is talk (or type). I find that you can learn so much more about a person through SL than if you met them in RL.

Sorry Spike, by your own argument you don't know that for sure.

Pep (But it is a convenient belief, I suppose)

You can't Rha (imho). Anyone who says they can just split SL/RL emotions are deluding themselves or they have no frikin idea wtf love really is *waves

I don't agree with this statement completely.
Yes, we all have our own reasons for coming to SL, but they are not all deep rooted, or because we are missing something, or even fantasy based.

When I joined SL, I had no idea what it really was. I saw a mention of it on a forums post in a forums I used to frequent (totally unrelated to SL).
Basically the post called it a game, I was bored of the games I had been playing so was open to something new.

I joined SL, mainly out of curiosity, and looking for a new game. Boy was I surprised. LOL
I almost never stayed, but then learned (rather quickly) about the ability to create clothing, build, and DJ, so I got a job DJing, in a few different places.

It was in one of those places that I met my (now RL) husband.

Was I looking for romance, or living out a fantasy, or even have a deep rooted reason for being in SL? Nope, I was simply... bored.

heh