keeping it in SL....

Or that you no longer want once you find it.

/me waits for obligatory Richard Gere joke

Pep (Or is that passe?)

Important note: ferrets are not related to hamsters.

But if/when the two meet and one picks their teeth and the "love" vanishes for the other...was it love?

Any Francophiles here know the French saying...love is a question of skin. In other words, to really know, you have to touch. JMO.

(note I did not say to really love)

Originally Posted by Brenda Connolly
Yes. That is the idea. None of the opinions on this are any more right, or wrong than the other, as is the case with most of SL, I think. There is no one way, or single reason for being here, or doing anything. We seem to have trouble getting over that in a lot of ways.



Both QFT! Thank you both.

Z

The caveat to this is that a love found this way and only experienced this way can sometimes have difficulties surviving in RL unless both parties go into it with eyes fully open. The RL distractions, chores, finances, day to day crap are a part of life that cannot be ignored and must be dealt with -- and somehow we have to figure out how to deal with all of that stuff and still maintain the love. That is what gets many people - especially the ones that forget that piece.

Really, it's all just "as you like it".

I have never been a "romantic-sunset-l(icking his ear) planning-our-future kinda girl. And that is in real. I have friends who look like they are in distinct pain when they express their sticky love for their boyfriend. That genre of love always seems a bit like describing an empty ice cream carton in the fridge - "scoffed it - now it tastes like cardboard"

Much more fun to take it with a smile and be cheeky enough to keep him guessing. And don't let him talk you into having his baby.

Same goes for sl - baby is just as improbable.

I don't think the emotions can be split out unless SL really is complete RP. Even if no part of the relationship (contact that is) is ever taken to RL, if the emotions are real in SL, those emotions will at least be felt in RL. If they are being completely blocked from being felt in RL, then I do not really think they are true and real in SL.

My opinion/view - YMMV

I've said this from day one in all online venues that I have ever been involved with.

And then a few weeks ago, changed my mine.

The animations you sell are damn good, but yes, without a decent IM to go with them, they are just bumping bots.

And if the IM is good, the person does not need to be anywhere near by.

No, only MY way is right!!!!

The customer is always right . . .

Pie ( . . . even when they are wrong)

Anybody need a new sig?

I've stayed out of this thread up until now even though I have a lot to contribute to the subject. This particular paragraph got to me somehow, as it sums up the truth of what my situation with Ghosty is about. I could go off completely and write paragraphs but I'm going to try hard to be concise.

When we met here, it was on the Forum so we at least had a small dose of reality to go by. We didn't meet inworld, with the "fantasy" figure in front of us. We got to know each other via words only, not the visuals.

By the time we met inworld, I do believe we'd already dispensed with much of the illusion which tends to potentially override some blossoming relationships. We were rather honest with each other from the get go, perhaps a bit too much in retrospect but that worked for us in the long run. We both opened up to each other in ways which frightened us emotionally, both not ready for what the other had to offer. We danced around it, both claiming it was "casual" to each other, agreeing it meant nothing much when we'd see each other inworld. However, we both knew the truth of the matter which was it was NOT casual at all.

Before long, it was agreed that meeting in person was a risk worth taking. Again, due to personal situations on both of our parts, we tried keeping it "casual" but when together in person, it was evident there was much more brewing between us. This eventually began long discussions of expectations, of our respective issues, how we might work these out in the long run. While we felt the rush of new love and intimacy we both had been burned but good in the past to know that the newness of any relationship can cloud what comes once you settle in together. And believe me, at that point we still had NO idea where this was leading. When the actual realization of just how deeply we both felt came to light, it was a shock to both of us. Even with the talks we'd had, looking back, we did rush into things because it felt right. I'm happy we did, but I can see how that could have been a disaster if we had not already had many of those discussions, and shared so much about ourselves in the short time we knew each other.

Thankfully, our realistic expectations of ourselves and each other, have helped us weather what has been some difficult times in the short period we've been with each other. If we were not as committed to each other as we are, one of us would have packed it in by now. However, we're not those kind of people. We're thoughtful, strong, mature, devoted and most of all, very sure of what we feel for each other. Do we know it will last forever? Certainly not. We both have occassional moments of concern but that's normal for the length of time we've been involved. Have we made a life long committment to each other? No on that regard either, and it might be doubtful considering our age; there is no need for us to repeat those till death do we part promises. But we talk about growing old(er) together as if it's expected. We make plans as if we've been together forever. We've figured out how to do housework together easily. We've figured out how to deal with the money. We value each others need for space when asked for. We have private jokes. His parent like me lol. We argue with a passion and love even harder. We don't fear saying we're sorry, and never go to bed angry.

For us, having met this way was sort of a blessing. It peeled away a lot of superficial B.S., made us look harder at each other before we met, to see if we were possibly compatible. We're not perfect together, who really is? But it's good. Damn good

Very good ones, and fun

I have to say, that it was a freak out to me as well. I would have ran from anyone that did this. But, for some reason, Ghosty was the exception to this rule. Not that he told me he loved me a week into it. Maybe it was 2 lol. But seriously tho; I knew there was something VERY different about our situation.

Alot of times it is a bunch of crap someone is throwing at you. Other times, it is real. You have to go through it, to know.

I'm very happy I trusted my instincts on that one

Has everyone seen these documentary reports?

http://video.canadiancontent.net/21924066-second-life-in-first-life-cbc-reports.html

http://www.cbc.ca/fifth/2008-2009/strangers_in_paradise

Both touch upon the SL world - the 2nd story touches more upon what is attraction in RL vs. SL. Notice the British guy's face the instant he sees his 'love' in RL...

Is this for real or a spoof video???

Real. The actual original documentary that was done is on youtube in several parts. It was actually, for what it was, quite well done, and I thought mostly accurate.

Totally serious 'Dateline' type of journalism (just realised that is an oxymoron).

It's real, at least to the two couples interviewed...and the guy in England.

The whole 'documentary' is on the CBC site somewhere. It's an eyebrow raiser listening to some of what the people say, not in the "so surprising" sense but in the "do they hear themselves?" sense.

Rha....how's your husband doing?

Kind of a well-written article...(it also links to the docu).

http://thegrumpyowl.wordpress.com/2009/02/04/strangers-in-paradise-second-life-documentary-from-cbc

Direct link to full docu in case you didn't wanna read the blogger:

http://www.cbc.ca/fifth/2008-2009/strangers_in_paradise/video.html

It's pretty interesting. I wonder if the biker couple were SL Goreans?

Emotions are emotions. You can't say emotions in a virtual world are any less real than emotions in a real world.

Talking about splitting VR from RL is fundamentally missing the point.

It's all about the kind, depth, and variety of relationships you're able to maintain. Some people have few very close friends, others have many casual friends and only a couple of close one. Some have a close personal relationship only with the person they're married to. Some have close relationships with many people. Sometimes these relationships have sexual overtones. There are as many words for relationships as there are for snow*. Marriage, affair, friendship, mates, drinking buddies, penpals, partners, ... virtual reality creates another stage for relationships to play out on, but the fact that it's "virtual reality" doesn't make the emotions any less real.

VR has been around a few years, telephone and radio decades, letters centuries, but emotionally we're still just successful descendants of a bunch of social mammals living in North Africa. Our emotions haven't caught up with the written word, let alone Second Life.

* I don't know how many words the Eskimo have for snow, but there's dozens of them in English from Avalanche to Yellow Snow, many of them (especially in the North of the USA) unprintable.

Emotions in a virtual world are less real than emotions in a real world.



Pep (I can, and just did.)

Emotions happen in real brains, not virtual brains.