keeping it in SL....

For me SL has been an experience in unconditional love.

A loop of love holds us together ~ we who were once separate travelers in this world. The invisible cord that passes around our hearts with no sharp twists or turns is beautiful, continuous, gentle, strong, secure, non-binding and never used to force the other to their knees. It is not pulled tighter than we can bear nor is the line given so much slack that the other feels alone. This loop around our hearts is a gentle reminder, a guide, enriching all aspects of our lives, a completely comfortable joining so each of us feels the beauty of the world and the joy and happiness love brings.

To learn to express and feel our love without falling back on the physical RL would offer has sometime been a frustrating journey... but quite a rewarding one. We touch each other Inside in ways we have never been touched, perhaps because before in relationships we had the physical aspect with that person to express what we felt there were no words for. Now we are forced to at least try.
I am not here to experience the same old love that follows the same old patterns I am here to learn new ways to love. Thus keeping SL love in SL allows me to grow and for that I am grateful... (I was quite short before)

~~~~Just my 2cents~~~~ Total

thank you Clarissa and Maureen

just got a call from his friend who took him in, they just took him into surgery (was a delay due to another surgery taking longer than expected)

Will keep both of you in my thoughts today Rhaorth.

/me puts a copy of "84 Charing Cross Road" in the Dvd player for this thread.

My situation in RL is much like Honey's...my rl hubby has also held me while i sobbed over my sl pains. But now I have an SL partner who is much like me...we both have RL commitments that will not allow us to be together in SL. But we do joke that if that were not the case we would be together in a heartbeat cuz we are so much in love. It is a good feeling for me to know there is someone else out in the world who just thinks that i am wonderful and adores me with no fights over laundry and who didnt clean up the kitchen sink. His friendship and love have really supported me and encouraged me and i could not ask for more from a true RL friend.

So for me the feelings are quite real and i dont try to suppress them at all. i am also not afraid of pain or loss because the pain after losing someone just means you cared deeply and to me that is always a good thing to have had that kind of happiness even if it comes to an end.

Yeah, from the stuff I've heard about you two, you make me and mine look like we hate each other. You guys are SUPER in love.

awwww.... to quote a line from a song

"Don't be cruel"

LOL

Well... I am fond of playing conflicted characters... so sometimes I venture from the dark side into a slight shade of gray.

ty to those who sent the well wishes and prayers

hubby's friend just called and hubby is out of surgery, bit groggy from being put under, all is good. (he had a lump removed)

thank god, not cancerous, I was very scared!

I am going to go watch some TV now, and shed a few tears of relief

please, hold those you love, close, and if you can't hold them close, hold them close in your heart, because you never know when they will be taken away.

have a great weekend all...

/me sends some cocoa and a cashmere blanket for the tv watching

Glad the news was good.

Hal and I have been together in sl so long, he's a bit like an old sock. If you know wha' I mean.

I dont think we take each other back into "real" so much as just accept that there's a person in each of our lives who is important enough to maintain a relationship with in a cyber way.

We dont interfere with each other's lives in real although we both give each other advice. hal is very stubborn and won't listen to reason even when it is obvious to him tha I am making sense. After this many years we are far less "anonymouse" to each other but we would never contact each other. I have been in his city when he has been on sl, but we respect our boundaries.

I am a firm believer in "friends with benefits" since it has stood me in good stead in my life. Perhaps it's different for many here. I would never dismiss Hal from my life - nor me from his. But we recognize our differences in reality are much greater than we can conceptualize in sl.

Our work and our pressures ensure we will never live together in real. There are those of you who find companions in sl for your realities and that's cool. It's all meat and poison innit?

Just read many more comments on this thread and I sound a little rough on my own partner but its all meant to be cool but it just doesnt feel "right" if I get mushed over Hal. He knows I love him in my way.

Hope you partner gets well soon, Rha. I mean that.

I remember doing that, well I don't actually remember it, I was on one of those things that blocks long term memories so I remember the nurse fiddling with a bag and then asking me to get dressed again. It was very confusing.

I didn't find out that it was benign until a few days later, though, your hubby's team seems better equipped. Good luck.

I honestly dont want you to read my comments as "casual" or "selfish" about my partner. It's just not my style to get too shackled. He knows I love him but it's hard innit, to really phrase it?

Rhaorth, glad to hear your DH is safe and sound ^^
get some rest, girl.

OK on to relationships. Maybe some ppl can handle keeping the line strong and clear between RL and SL, but i think on a certain level ppl who say this are kidding themselves to a certain degree.

Take a new relationship in SL .. the attraction.. the excitement.. the need to be with the other person. These feelings are felt in real life. At work maybe you find yourself wanting to log in for a little touch on base.. or maybe you log in .. and neglect a small part of RL for SL.

Or if you didnt.. you find yourself hurrying home, anticipating the time when you can be together. In RL your mind and body are preparing for seeing this person in SL. Your heart beats faster.. you feel the rush..

Or youre already home.. its that time, that special time.. to go online and meet up. You have a date... to dance, to cuddle, to whatever.. and the RL body is majorly kicking

the phone rings .. its your RL friend wanting to talk.. so you blow them off.. make up some excuse .. just applied hair colour.. have a headache .. on your way out.. or maybe you just let the answering machine deal with it... you have a date... and you are so ready ...

you boot your PC.. get your supplies on hand... go to the loo.. whatever... making sure RL wont bother your SL.. Open up SL .. your heart beating even faster, your mouth dry and you feel so happy..

<DUE to a high load, Logins are disabled. Please try again later>

You want to cry.. you hit the login button again and again.. you post on the forums to complain... hit the login again and again... maybe swearing, maybe crying.. but definitely upset in RL....

now tell me theres a line.. and that you keep it.

**I wont even go into the RL body reacting to SL sexual excitement... secretions never lie

eku: Chemical reactions are the same or similar no matter the stimulus...

Caveat emptor?

That's not sl-caused, that's just how I feel when I wake up in the morning. Thank God for the pill!

Chemical reactions occur in RL..
they mess with a lot of things about us. Cloud our judgement.. mess up our priorities..make us do some pretty stupid things.

what i am trying to say is that if your (anyperson's) SL relationship has had any kind of impact on RL, whether it be mood swings, broken promises, forgotten appointments, the neglect of anyone or anything in RL.. then its not clearly in SL is it?

How many ppl who are in a purely SL relationship have been irritated by their RL SO.. and thought if only they could be more like ****
even for a moment.

Men are much more adept at deliniating (sp?) between lust and love.. or are better at telling themselves that they are. But women are more emotionally involved.

I dont for a moment believe anyone who really cares about their SL other turns off all feelings and coolly walks back into their RL without a backward glance when they log off.

no matter what ppl say.. theres a RL impact.

Pretty much agreed with you up until here. I've seen men in RL and in SL sob over lost loves, while the woman was coolly detached. YMMV.

Rha, best wishes for a speedy recovery for your hubby. Scary thing, having the one you love need surgery.

Agreed. In fact, this is how it often is in RL as well - so says my experiences.

Excellent news.

This. You take what you can get and accept it as a plus to your life, not look at it like a minus for the parts you can't have.

As for keeping it in SL.. that's pretty much something I've found I have a hard time with, so I HAVE to adopt a sort-of "friends with benefits" stance on relationships. It doesn't necessarily stop at that, but the really deep emotions are a conflict of interest with those I have for my RL BF. Rather than give myself grief for getting too cuddly in SL, I just don't do those love-based things that should be reserved for the one I love in RL... and I make that very clear ahead of time. Bonding, caring, friendship, passion, intimacy, sex.. all ok for me, but I have to draw the line just this side of romantic things like cuddling, mushy pillow talk, the L word, etc.. History tells me that those kind of uber-affectionate things get my heart spinning in all the wrong directions, so I skip them and enjoy the rest to their fullest. No, it's not always easy skipping something you want to do.. sometimes it's like pulling teeth, but the hard part rarely lasts very long and it keeps the conflicts at a minimum for me.

I agree with a comment made earlier ( sorry forgot who said it ) that the word love is used very freely in here and in RL. I dont say i love someone in passing in SL or RL I only say it if there are real feelings. I am in a relationship in Sl and have been for just over 2 yrs. My feelings for this person are real, we communicate outside of SL also and have exchanged gifts in snail mail. He is in another country so chances of us meeting are slim but you never know.
Many seem to fall quickly, partner fast and end much the same way. That is fine as long as both are on the same page but i have met many who find their partner has said things just to get them to be with them. I know of some who have alts who are partnered to different ppl also. Its not for me but hey if it works for you great is all i can say

Must be such a relief. Hope your husband recovers soon, Rha.

--
Aes

Wimps!

Pie (Although the reason for tears may be valid; if their prospective father-in-law owned a brewery or a Ferrari franchise perhaps)

Underneath the rhinoceros hide.

Pie (I can give you references)