how do you see people in SL?

I try not to pass "judgment" on anyone for any reason. Judgment is kinda like a finality. Relationships with people are dynamic, just as people themselves are dynamic. A foe today will be a friend tomorrow, and vice-versa. That said, I do choose a posture towards specific people based on my present estimation of them and whatever relationship we have. I also frame that posture in terms of how well I know them. IE, by how much "quality time" (not that kind, you gutter-minded feebs ) we have spent getting to know one another. As such, if I only know you from the forums, whatever posture I take is superficial, and can easily and quickly change once I get to know you better OUTside the forums. Forums are AWFUL to make any kind of accurate estimation of folks, as the level of interaction and communication is extremely limited.

So, as a simple answer to your question, for any "judgment" (temporary though it may be for me), it holds more weight the better I know you.



The avatar is but one aspect of a person, but yes, I treat them as they present themselves. At the very minimum I recognize they are a sentient being, and afford them the appropriate level of consideration for being such. Well, except for bots.



That's pretty much the same question, so I will answer it with a "yes". The first question is one of present state. Outside of hopes and dreams, you only have your present perception of people to go by. I go by the way people present themselves, because they are telling me how they wish to be treated with their presentation. The second question is if you are willing to accept that there is more to someone than what meets the senses, as it is always true. All set gemstones have facets you may never see. I always expect that there is more than meets the eye with everyone.



Understandable. We're often unsure of how to take the human avatars... you all look so much alike!



Welcome to a wondrous new world!



*shrug* It's the nature of people to naturally be afraid of or despise what they do not know or understand. I don't take anything said in the forums or anywhere else (well, except in-person) personally. It's just not worth it, because it is so easy to get one's snout bent out of shape over nothing.

heh thanks (been in this new world for over 2 years now and am still surprised and awed by some of it

as for us all looking alike... ahh I beg to differ

I'm still awed by architecture and such, but not avs so much.

Recently though, wandering around in the endless corridors of SLx, I found a baby spider monkey av by Ripped Winkler. I recommend you see it. It's absolutely wonderful, AO is perfect, everything is top notch. First time I'd been so awed by an av in a long time.

I am more awed by the people behind the avatars and the builds and such

(oh and to the one who said we look alike... if you have signatures turned on, those hoomans in the sig banner of mine are all me LOL) talk about diverse!
(and those are just the human me)

I try to take avatars at face value because that is how I presume people want them to be taken. I know all the stuff about how there's a real person behind each av and all that, and I respect that. Anyway I always try to be nice to everyone and I'm not seeking any deep commitments so in a sense I'm happy with 'superficial'!

I don't see Second Life itself as superficial, it is a profound creative experience, but I based myself in-world when I came here and I'm happy with that.

Why shouldn't you be judged by what you say? Of course no single post is representative of a whole person, nor could it ever be, but this is the basis for knowing a person's tendencies and personality. It's not complete information but it's more than enough to at least retain an impression of who a person is.

Well, you do, compared to us.

..and, yes, begging is allowed. Just be careful for what you beg.

because of the fact that the typed word can be interpreted in as many ways as there are people reading it

that is why it is not a good idea to judge someone by posts

(if you really want to get to know someone)
take the time to know them... heck im them to see if the way you think they mean something, is actually the way they meant it
and let them know how the post seems to come across to you

I am willing to bet that a lot of us would be surprised to find out how others think we meant a specific post, or how others think we are based on the posts we make.

and you all look alike to us so

Are you always a dragon or do you change? and are you one of those big big dragons? I like those ones, have a really cool pic of one of those with me sticking out of their mouth hehe

*snort snort*

While there is room for interpretation, not everything needs clarification. Some things will, yes. But for example, I know that Chris Norse has a Libertarian streak, if not being a full out Libertarian, and has deep respect for individual liberty. I don't need to have a personal conversation to know it because he communicates clearly enough what his values are. Some people are very much on the other end of the spectrum. You learn about people through patterns of behavior. Many of us have been posting long enough to know certain aspects of people, and while these posts do not make a whole person, it's enough to make some judgments.

Of course, you can only ever know about a person what they wish you to know. Or what they wish you to think you know.

good point, very good point

makes one wonder doesn't it?
What do people really know about others...

I know I for one do not show my whole self here, people only see the side of me I choose to show
they do not see the side that makes me who I am

I meant in real life also.

yep me too, just used here as an example

I rarely open up completely to people in RL, they just see the side of me I want them to see

We form opinions on each other all the time based on whatever contact we make. And those opinions change as time goes on. We all form some sort of opinion based upon first contact, whether we realize it or not. Sometimes that initial opinion is a reliable indicator, sometimes it's not, time will tell in the end.

We've all met people who we initially liked only to find they weren't what we thought, and the everse. And people have felt the same toward all of us at one time or another.Personally, I can only base my opinons (I don't like the word "judge" either) on what I am presented with, so I generally go by face value.

While it is true that the written word can be misinterpreted, I do think that over an extended period, most people's personalities will be reflected in their postings. I don't buy the idea that someone can totally bury their true feelings. Sometimes it just takes a little reading between the lines.

I judge people by what they say on the Forums, as well as in world. Anyone who knows me IRL would probably say I'm not judgmental at all, as I do tend to be very accepting of differences.

Here though, Rha, you make a laughing little apology of not being PC, to excuse (I guess) sharing an offensive bit of what some people call humor. I find it not humorous, and wonder how many people on the Forums are parents, siblings, or friends of developmentally disabled people who found reading your comment actually painful, rather than just distasteful.

I personally find Conan's misogynistic comments painful to read. There are many other things Conan says that I agree with, and many I disagree with, that don’t give me the little shot of “Ughh, knife to the heart”, I get when reading his disparaging comments about women. But misogyny does.

I just wonder if either of you really has the intent to cause pain, or if you’re just being thoughtless. I'm not posting this to attack anyone. I hope someone out there will read it and think a little more about their words and their effect on others.

I am not being thoughtless, as a matter of fact I thought about what I was posting and I knew some folks would not like it, but I am not going to curb what I want to say just because someone might not like it. If I did that I would never post again. If others did that, no one would ever post again.

I am sorry you took offense to it, however it used to be people could use the word retarded without others getting offended

I have a cousin with severe down syndrome so yes I know all about what it is like to live with mental retardation

I find it funny (the saying I posted) because for some people it does fit, it is not intended to degrade or upset anyone

also my point was twofold

Politically correct is a pain in the ass, we should be able to say what we think and not worry about who might be upset

I see lots of comments on the forums that make me cringe, but I move on and do not judge the person based on what they said or what they might find funny

matter in point, anytime I see mention of the slut rating, I find it offensive, does that mean folks should stop using it or the word? nope.. just means I either overlook it and move on, or judge those using it (which I don't)

I do not think they are bad people because they choose to use a word that leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

people with no experience with certain types of situations are not always aware of the impact something they say might have on someone else.

it might be better received if you were a teacher in this regard, and not a disciplinarian.

I for one would like you to quote a disparaging comment I have made about women - on any previous thread included - and explain why it is disparaging. Do that and then we can have a proper discussion. Until then, your emotional outburst will go ignored. Whether or not to be offended is a choice - so I am glad that you recognise that your choices should not affect us.

the thing is I am experienced in the regard of mental retardation

I have (as mentioned) a cousin with severe downs syndrome and when he was little I helped my aunt care for him (I would have been a young teen then)

when I was in my 20's I was a volunteer with the special Olympics and spent a lot of time with ppl that were mild to severe retardation

just because I use the word as part of a joke, doesn't mean I do not understand retardation or understand what it is like to deal and live with it

it is no different than ppl poking fun at blonds in my book
I treat people the same, no matter what level their mental capabilities

i whole-heartedly agree, to a point. it is extremely disrespectful to continue a behavior that you very well know is offensive to someone else. that tells them you do not respect them.

that doesn't mean you should not get right to the point of what you are trying to say. but gentler. it's very hurtful to use deregatory words to describe people... in general.

no one wants to be generalized by one feature, especially a negative one (comparitive to mass general society), and we typically consider that sterotyping. mostly, because there are so many wonderful features in any one individual that are overlooked from that point on.

rambling complete.

You need to clean the potatoes off those glasses.



Yes, I am ALWAYS a Dragon. Well, once in a while I change into a Dragon spirit orb, but I am still a Dragon.

I generally wear a smaller anthropomorphic form, because it is easier to work/build in, but I am one of those big big Dragons at heart, and oft times in form, too.

one day I would like to meet you in world
those dragon builds always fascinate me

as for potatoes on my glasses, I am wearing contacts

Unfortunately, all too often, people read what they want "between the lines", instead of taking time to look what is really there.

While I don't totally bury my true feelings here, I also do not operate on same level of "feelings" as I do in person, or in another communication venue. As such, anyone trying to "read between the lines" of what I say is more likely to get a lot more noise than signal.