how do you see people in SL?

When you meet people in SL or on the forums, do you judge them right away, or do you wait to get to know them?

Do you see them as their avatar be it human, furry, animal, robot, or something else?

Do you treat people differently just by how you think you know them?

Or...

do you take the time to get to know someone and look beyond the things they wear, the posts they make, the places they visit, etc.

I am just curious.

When I first came to SL I tended to take folks at face value, and was unsure how to take the non human avatars...

now however I like to wait till I know someone before passing judgment and damn have I been surprised sometimes hehe

I do not judge folks by what they say on the forums, by what they wear in world, or by the type of avatar they put on... I wait to get to know them, and sometimes it is a pleasant surprise.

I see lots of people attack others based on their type of avatar, or what they say in groups, or on the forums, or even for the places they choose to go. It is so wrong

In-world, I pass judgement based on the av immediately, but that can change easily. I don't choose to pass such judgment, I just do.

For instance when I met a friend of mine, who has a huskier av, because it's more realistic to them, I was almost shocked.. my thoughts were along the lines of "Why wouldn't you wanna be perfect', before I realized that she was perfect for who she was ^_^

Took me some time to get to know her and really like her, but she's awesome.

On the other hand, some weird avs make no difference to me.. there was another girl, this time proportioned more like a midget, who I thought was prolly a cool person.. turns out I can't stand them, they push their thoughts on D/s into EVERY conversation, ever.


So, I judge based on looks at first, but quickly change that opinion based on words and actions, most of the time.

I guess I take certain elements from appearance -- after all, we get to choose how we wish to present ourselves in this worls -- but I take a lot from how a person interacts. If a person in a cat avatar is talking, I might think of them more like Kiki's familiar in Kiki's Delivery service, and talk to them just like any other person. If they're purely emoting as a feline, then I'm more likely to give them a scritch behind the ears, etc.

Why is it wrong? I wouldn't particularly judge someone based on their AV, but judging them by what they say and do? What other criteria do we have for assessing them and deciding whether we like and respect them or think they are a complete waste of DNA?

If yopu are saying that people are different inworld to how they are on the forums, then how do you know which is real and which is false? The nice person inworld could be the fake and the complete git on the forums the real person.

Anyone who makes judgments on things like pixels, things I consider shallow, transitory or little and petty I probably wouldn't have as close friend I spent a lot time with or particularly care what they think personally.
I do have one friend who gets uncomfortable when I am a child though but she is nice person so I try to be understanding and respectful around her.

hehe ^
i decide to be black and white avi after long time spended in color mode

and i find that ppl react like in rl ...first is what they see ..its so normal i think, but that first impression can be wrong. but its first ..

u cant judge about someone about avi, but it can help to know more about , like in rl ...if i found a frog avi with punk style and kalashnikov , it cant say lot but ... u know ..

and at the end if u judge about me coz my "perfect" language, then ill be on your black list

I judge them based on their appearances and my knee-jerk reaction to what I believe their appearance tells me about their moral fibre and lifestyle choices. Generally, though, if you're not a middle class, well educated, white male in a shirt and tie, you have little of importance for me to listen to. True story.

if it talks like a chicken...

The thing is, to me, it's like real life. You're going to judge people in your mind always, no matter what.

Would you be more likely to strike up a conversation with a guy in all leathers, spiked helmet, with a shotgun strapped to his back, or the guy with the clean, crisp shirt and trousers, friendly clean shaven face, and trimmed hair?

I judge people in SL based on appearance only until I get to know them. Same as I do in RL. It's just not something I can control, I automatically pass some amount of judgment on sight.

I am saying to judge on one of those without seeing the others
I would not judge someone by just what they say on the forums, anymore than I would judge someone solely based on how the avatar looks

taking the time to get to know someone means getting to know all aspects

and ppl can be nice and a git
LOL
just cuz someone might be a bit headstrong on forums, and nice in game, doesn't mean one is a lie and one is not, it just means different aspects of their personality

I am the type of person who likes to get to know someone before I decide if I like them or not

I can say I may not like what someone does based on specific things I see, but that does not equate to me saying they are a good person or a bad person based on that alone, just means I dislike a specific aspect of them.

(am I making sense?)

I am having one of those days, and trying to do things to keep my mind occupied while I prepare for some RL stuff
so please forgive me if I seem to be jumping all over with my comments, my thoughts are a bit scattered and shattered today

I agree with Wulfric. The only data I have to form an opinion on people is the things those people say and do. In SL, that means: what they say in forums, what they say in chat, what their profiles say, what they wear, what groups they belong to, &c.

I don't apply equal weight to all of these factors - I would say that comportment on the forums and in chat gets the most weight relative to other factors, generally - but that's what I have to go on to decide whether I like a person or not, and I don't see anything wrong with making the decision whether to like a person or not.

Ideally such decisions are open to reconsideration when more data presents, of course. I have had people grow on me whom I found abrasive at first (in SL and RL, by the way), and I have had people who at first blush I thought were tha bomb turn out not to be all that and a bag of chips (also in SL and RL). I am sure people have similarly changed their minds about me as they got to know me.

Also ideally, I try to treat all people with respect and politeness whether I personally like them or not. But being polite to someone I don't like doesn't mean I have to spend as much time with him or her as I do with people I like. It's not wrong to draw that kind of distinction among people.

Actually, I have to disagree. In a world where people can choose what they look like, what they choose to look like tells you an awful lot about them. This is nothing like judging people by real life skin colour, which is not a choice. It's more like judging people on what they wear in real life - which, whether you like it or not, 9 times out of 10 is pretty accurate.

i pretty much avoid skanky looking stripper type ho's who walk around with their asses and nipples hanging out (and naked avatar men just walking around are simply gross *bleah*). i pretty much will talk to anyone immediately except those whore types. if/when the fairly covered up but clearly naughty types reveal they are an escort type or whore-type ~ well, i stay away from there. prostitutes and sluts get no respect from me. that includes man-whores.

everyone else is judged by their words and behaviors over the long term.

I sort everyone into two piles: Female avis and the discard pile.

No I don't.

Really just as in RL, I try not to judge on appearances. I try to give everyone one a fair chance. I try not to make enemys of people. My property doesn't even have a ban list and I have never been greifed. Of course things could happen I guess.

I try to show everyone respect that shows it to me. There are too many interesting people here to sort them into piles of categories. Last night when I talked to a client about renting property from me, I was dressed as Shrek. She wasn't bothered a bit.

Give me a chance and I will do the same.

"CX"

lol

i do!

did ya speak with the accent too hehe
(I love shrek, but puss in boots is my fav, followed by donkey then shrek)

I wont request friends then?

I'm an American. My English sucks.

I do a great Antonio Banderious(sp)

"CX"

I have several different looks and skin shades, I use th am to see how people will react to me, and more important how there behavior will change when I do, the results are amazing.

I now keep several looks just as A-H*** repellent, because if they cannot see past my skin color or general Furriness, they would only try to drag me into their Delusions later.

Alice..

I tend to judge people by what they SAY. What else is there, really?

I mean, I hopped around wearing an asslight yesterday - what are people to make of that? Specially since there was half a dozen of us wearing that. I'm sure if you talked to any one of us we wouldn't appear half as insane as we looked.

That said, however, I often catch myself looking at people and saying "WTF were they THINKING when they pulled that out of their inventory???"
These tend to be NOT the furries, tinies, eccentrics and flying hamsters but rather people walking about in underwear, dripping with bling, hair bigger than they are, hair sticking through hats, prim skirts that arrive 10 minutes after they do, heels that clack and bellies that talk. Just too tempting not to be made fun of.

I think what people _choose_ to wear and to say in forums or on line, does influence me. How could it not? When you hardly know someone, you go with what you have. It doesn't necessarily mean I judge them in a purely negative way, it's just that it's the only information I have about them.

Whether a person chooses to be a dragon, elf, cat, robot, or a basic human doesn't influence me beyond the assumption that they like dragons, cats, robots... and if they choose to wear humongous prim boobs, I'll assume they either have a sense of humour, or they're here to hook up. I may be wrong in all cases, but yes, I do make assumptions. I won't ignore them, though. And until someone is unfriendly to me, I will be pleasant with them.

A person may be the kindest person inworld, but if they're regularly nasty in say RA, I probably won't ever get to know their 'soft' side. What would be the incentive for me to go out and try to meet them inworld? I do my best to avoid ***holes.

Actually it is so right in some cases. If people say stupid things, arrogant things, stupid and arrogant things, etc. etc. they deserve to get called out on it. Of course what some people say is so idiotic that it does not even merit a response but that won't stop others from grabbing the flamebait.

You don't have to judge a whole person by what they write here, or how they are inworld. What people put on display is what we choose to display. And you are not responsible for what others think, but what you give them reason to think.

That said, I don't think anyone judges anyone here as a bad person on the whole. We all have eccentricities, some more than others. But having a quibble about one thing doesn't mean that you should write off anyone completely as bad. I don't think anyone really does that, but I could be wrong.

Guess I have to say appearance first. Meaning there was this person looking at some art he startled me with his cloak and mask BUT then I said hello and we talked. Seemed friendly enough

So yup I guess do appearance first but it is usually fleeting.

Bec

Too True. I am the king of opening mouth and inserting foot. Luckly I have some forgiving friends that know I am a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

"CX"