how do you see people in SL?

Some avatars just beg to be judged.

I'm pretty much the same way. However, as Rha said, I've had some really interesting experiences that prove "You can't judge a book by its cover." I've seen some really freaky (to me) AVs and then when I talked to them (ie. a merchant, instructor, etc.) discovered they were really cool people.

What is kind of a "disconnect" for me is a very good friend of mine I met online about 8 years ago. Over time we know a lot about each other's homelife, exchanged photos, etc. We talk on the phone regularly.

I was thrilled to discover she was also on SL during one of our conversations right after I joined. Then when I see her AV, it doesn't seem to represent the "her" I've known over the years. But it apparently feels like "her" TO "her" so, that's just my own issue. (I even discussed this with her and like the sweetie she is...she listened and understood.)

One of my best friends made his av insanely dark and techno and stuff, but he's suuuch a sweet guy... I woulda never guessed it on my own o.o

viva la difference !

I think my so called judgment of people I meet in SL falls into two very distinct catagories.

The visual aspect interests me for the creative element only....I don't look at an avatar and immeditaly draw a solid conclusion. I might assume that a naked avatar running around asking for sex is probably new....and excercising their new found ability to do as they dam well please. LOL I don't really go places where I see that unless I'm mentoring on OI....and then ya get the full variety of avatar personas. But.....I understand that the visual really only tells us so much.... and there's no real judgement going on until I have a conversation with someone.
So...the second way is through text...a persons conversational behavior. I really don't care if they are child, furrie or quad..... a 5 minute chat usually tells me enough to know if this is a person I'd enjoy getting to know, or not.

The same applies IRL. I don't judge by appreances alone. I know too many people who absolutely not what they appear, to ever become that shallow in my assesments. I can maybe guess at a few personality traits based on apparal in SL.... but there again...so many folks are doing things they would never do IRL...including the way they dress. This does NOT tell me anything about who they are......UNTIL I've had a chance to talk with them and evaluate the connection between their AV and the real person. It is almost always an unexpected revelation.

I look for good character.....integrity... intelligence....kindness.....compassion... and honesty. I've always been a very good judge of character IRL and I don't have any problem with my radar in SL either. People do and say things that give away their true nature.....ya just have to be tuned in.....and let's face it.... a little bit emotionally mature so as not to get sucked in by the wingnuts.

First impression judgement is a natural thing, it's what you do with that impression that makes the difference. I might make a first impression judgement on someone based on what they say or wear, but I would never allow that to restrict me from getting to know the person better to make a more accurate judgement of character.

ahahaha damn !!

were you intending to previously? LOL

LOL never heard that one before (few sandwiches short of a picnic) my fav although totally non politically correct is "if he/she were any smarter they would be retarded"

as I said non PC then again, I am non PC heh

I am one of those people too who tend to have my foot in my mouth more than it is on the ground/floor

I guess that leaves me out... no seriously... I was raised a nudist from a small child and nudity has no bearing on it to me at all, as that goes I find I feel comfortable hanging out at clothing optional beaches etc. I wonder if that makes me a bad person if I like being a free spirit...hmmm I would hate being judged by all the religious groups...I would have been put in a fiery hell 10 times over by now. One think I do not sport an erect woody...I find that to be gross and rude. I will respect the mores and codes of the place and the people around me, I do not believe it is right to purposely offend anyone by my appearance. But to judge someone...I usually (usually is the word) judge them by their words and their actions more than anything else.
I have met some very nice people who are outwardly strange in their appearance, so appearance is not usually a factor, unless they are blatantly portraying some sort of violent expression like being soaked in blood and looking totally mangled...that is just too over the edge for me.

I can relate... hubby in RL, is a drow on SL most of the time, and well, he is not blue in RL to start with, and doesn't have elf ears either LOL

People tend to take me seriously until they get to know me....I am a bit of a joker. I usually try to treat everyone the same....friendly and respectful until they prove me wrong.

Rhaorth Antonelli, do u have any proof ??

I'm with Keira on this one.

Yes, I do have first impressions about people. I try to keep an open mind, though, and not make any final judgements until I know them better.

I judge people on their appearance, as well as what they say and do. In SL, appearance is a matter of choice, not something imposed on us by nature, and so I think that a person's avatar says quite a lot about them. I make an exception for newcomers, because they don't know yet how to "speak avatar" fluently. I also make an exception for people to whom appearance simply isn't a priority...I know several very successful business owners who still look very newbish.

One of my best SL friends appeared in a Luck Dragon av the first time I met him, on OI Public. He was perfect...shouting in character at the newbies, flirting with the oldbies, and generally livening up the party. I later learned that he changes avatars about as often as I change my hairstyle. His bubbly, cheerful personality can't be contained in just one form, so he has many.

Then you should know the difference between being a nudist in places where such things are expected and accepted and the sort of look-at-me hooker type that 3Ring is talking about.

My judgement about those, in any case, is that they are actually guys in drag. I can't imagine any woman volunteering to look like some of the skanks you see showing their bits in the malls. I refuse to think they're that oblivious!

There is a difference between 'sexy' and whatever those ones are trying to represent. Someone really needs to give some fashion advice to the cross-dressers.

proof of what?

*confused*

I must say I do judge, good & bad, to a point at first but hold it back. I like to get to know ppl also, no matter what my first impression is to give someone a chance. Except when I run across arrogant ppl I am judging on what they type above all and if thats my first encounter with them I just cant help to not want to not give them any chance at all. I don't know if that came out as clearly as I hoped but its my truth

So you are really young right?

My two faves:
I am not the sharpest crayon in the box.
A few frys short of a happy meal.

When someone trys to fool me:
I may have been born at night but not last night.

young I wish LOL

nah I am old, old enough to know better, and young enough to choose not to care if I should know better. (I think)

yep heard those before (crayon and happy meal) and the last night one too, except I was born in the morning

heh

Hey I take it wherever I can get it Bo...

ah Ivan yeah I am sure, as for proof he has not elf ears.... you will just have to take my word (don't think the RL pic in his profile shows his ears) it might though, so go peek and see

hehe

Wheres that thread a couple weeks back with someone who had been told that they were being reported for having an av that didn't look like their RL self...

I take my time, take time to get to know them before I form an opion one way or the other. We are all in SL for our owns reasons, and those reasons are so vast and different in many cases. I respect all I meet, unless I'm treated badly. And I approach all with friendship, unless I get the feeling that is not wanted. Most of all, respect a persons right to portray themselves in any way they want in SL. I see the folks in SL as individuals fulfilling whatever little fantasy world they want. Sometimes its being themselves and just meeting more people. Sometimes it is more. SL is our little world where we can be and do what we want. For me, in the beginning it was a healing tool. A RL trauma that I overcame...with the help of SL and a small group of friends I met along the way. Most dont even know about the situation I came from...but all were very important in helping me heal. So I see others with an open mind and an open heart.

I do try first of all to accept whatever form they have chosen as how they want to be reacted to. After all, if they are anything other than a default Ruth, it is because they want to look like that. So if they are a small female furry I treat them like that, and don't worry that their Player may be a bald 200 pound male Human. (Though I generally assume all Players are guys, regardless of their Avatar's gender, because so many 'girls' in SL are run by male Players. )

Next off is "do they look threatening"? If they appear to be armed to the teeth, or are waving a gun around, or acting in an overtly hostile or offensive manner, they get no farther with me. Firearms and paramilitary appearances are a major turn-off for me. I'll avoid them like the plague. It doesn't matter how good they look or what kind of mad skills they have. If I can't feel safe near them, I won't associate with them.

Names that look like real names, and not like AOL handles, are a plus for me. When I am talking to someone, I want to be able to address them as a person. How *do* you pronounce "BxBRa333r7", anyway? An unpronouncable, artificial sounding name blows the effect that I am talking to a person.

The next impression comes from how well crafted their look is. Someone who has obviously exerted some effort in creating or purchasing a great looking avatar is more intrinsicly interesting to me than someone who looks like they just stepped off Orientation Island and didn't even bother to do the tutorials on appearance. This does not mean that they have to look like a fashion model. It means that they didn't just accept defaults and slapped on junk. The main thing is that they at least tried to put some effort into creating a specific 'look', and didn't just hit "randomize" and go out in the world as whatever came up. In RL, would you rather assocate with a clean, well-dressed person, or someone who look like they dressed with what they found in the dumpster? (On the other hand, someone with a new account creation date who is openly seeking assistance in improving their loiok will get a TON of free help from me.)

Next comes speech, and getting to know them. If they talk in clipped, fragmented sentances, or use lots of AOL abbreviations, I won't talk with them for long. I prefer interacting with people who are eloquent and who communicate effectively using the written word. I don't mind if English isn't their primary language, and they make mistakes. But they should at least be attempting to communicate well.

Beyond that, we are far from visual appearances... What sort of skills they have, interests, who their avatar is as a person. Someone who an tell a rich and interesting tale of who and what they are is far more interesting to me than "Um... I'm Joe, from Cincinatti.".