Gender stereotypes in SL: "Real" women

It does not want bunny ears

It wants a drink.

On average, women seem to be a bit better at multitasking than men; of course, as with all such things, individuals vary wildly. The other side of the equation - one that seems to get less mention - is that men seem to be a bit better at singleminded concentration on a task, a trait which also has advantages in some situations.

The evolutionary biologists will tell you that it's because multitasking was beneficial for childrearing and gathering, while concentration was good for hunting. I find the explanations of evolutionary biology a bit too pat to take without a grain of salt -- maybe a pat of salted butter?

Using voice might help somebody determine your RL identity, especially if you live in a small town and/or your voice is unusual or easy to recognize. If you are famous in RL and want to be somebody in SL other than your famous self, using voice would be Right Out; sooner or later somebody would recognize you and your quiet alternate existence would be a thing of the past.

If you are voicing on an open sim how are you supposed to know who's who? Anyway online even knowing who's who isn't knowing who's who.

That said, I will voice but RL questions are out of the question.



This is ALSO a very good point. And this is a reason a lot of people won't pass out their RL info or pix, too. Some people's luck works in such a way that it's gonna be their RL pastor on the other end of that exchange. Lol And it doesn't mean anything naughty is even the issue; it just means some people are private by NATURE and/or have reasons for wanting to keep their very existence in SL to themselves.

Read some of the comments about SL in youtube comments sometime to see the attitude most people out there who aren't into online gaming would have if told "Oh yes in Second Life I am a neko - that's a cat person - and I own a shopping mall." I can tell you for sure, without a doubt, a lot of my own family, friends and acquaintances would think I'd lost the plot.

i will resist the urge...

Yeh that post was a bit xenophobic at the very least.

Not all of us want to carry guns. I'd be afraid it would be used on ME. And I just plain do not like them. I am not anti-gun; I believe in the 2nd amendment and my family owns guns (some do) and ALWAYS respect safety issues; no kid in our family ever sees or comes near a gun. (knock wood) I still do not like the idea.

Sorry I don't want to live in the Wild West. By virtue of being female PLUS the fact for some odd reason male children are taught self defense by their dads but girls aren't (here's how to throw a punch, son) there are many places/times I am not safe out there by myself in the world. You get to accept the fact.

I don't know what you mean. Of course you can know which voice originates from which avatar. But that's not what you meant, is it?



Basic things like gender, approximate age and country of birth can be figured out by hearing my voice, this is true. A German speaker may even be able to pinpoint the exact geographic area I come from. It's all in my voice. Unless I plaster my RL address and phone number all over SL I don't see a problem with using voice though. Listening to media streams poses a much bigger danger to your privacy. If you have a fixed IP address anyone hosting a stream get get your full RL information by matching your avatar with your IP address.



If you are ashamed of your SL then don't do it.

Besides that. There used to be a time where you had to be ashamed of using the interwebz because it was a pointless geek thing and a place where only perverts, socially challenged people and political extremists hang out. Remember? And now it's those who have no clue about the web are those that are ashamed of their ignorance.

No it's not.

I meant you don't know what they are like in real life. Or who's creepy basically. In real life there are cues like body language and demeanor. Although those can fail as well.

It all depends on one's level of comfort. Other posters had mentioned that sometimes people want a woman to speak on voice for 'other' reasons; it all depends to what extent that possibility matters to a given individual. I was not referring to RL physical safety. Just the ick factor.

Again there are many legit reasons to NOT voice and I was just adding to that thread of the discussion.



I thought this was disproven in another thread. Unless one's RL info is online such as posting a RL resume with RL info and the IP was matched?



Sorry. When did I elect you arbiter of my life and free time?

The two worlds do not mix in my opinion and that is all I am or was saying - but nice to try to shame people for their opinion of sharing RL info. *rolls eyes* It is simply more sensible to not try to explain this virtual world to those who will not understand and/or will judge it. I don't talk to RL people about SL and vice versa. So?

Where do you get 'shame' from? That's a projection.

You approach it your way, that's fine. I don't tell others how to play or approach SL or on what level to share RL things such as voice, pix or info, and I dislike it when some try that on me.

Exactly.



Works like that: Someone is hosting a stream. They can see a list of connections through their admin panel. Let's say my avatar is the only one on their parcel. They see one IP connected, which is obviously mine, trace it, and it points to MonasCutefurrySLkitties.org, because the machine I connect from happens to be related to that domain. Let's say I own that domain and I did not register it as private, they do a whois query, and bam, my full name and address, including phone number, is now visible to that person.



Even written word does give away SOME information. Spoken word gives away a little more. Webcam even more. RL yet more. And still you might run into a nice person who turns out to be a serial killer.



Sorry, I must have misunderstood you. It sounded like you have to hide your online self from family and friends.

See now this type of snap judgment is why I talk about myself as little as I can.

If I know someone would not understand, would disagree or it would be a lot of trouble to explain, I avoid the topic.

Speaking of which...*ducks out of the thread.*

Or sending email to a mailing list that's archived, even through a web-based service like gmail. There are so many ways to leak your real name and IP address, best keep it under cover in SL.

Not that I'm advocating "going voice" by any means! The fact that there's other ways to compromise your personal information doesn't make it any more desirable to do so a different way just because it's a lower probability.

Gmail web doesn't give your IP away in the headers.
It's one of the things that anti-spammers hate about Google. The IP trail back to the sender stops cold at the Google servers.
Other web-based services can include the IP that you are accessing from as 'originating-IP' in the headers.

It's not safe to depend on that happening forever though. It's best to assume that everything is accessible.

You would be amazed at what sorts of information can tip someone off to where you are.

I was once on another game in IMs with another player when I made mention of a close lightning strike. The other person came back at me with "Oh, you're in (the area of the city I live in). It scared me spitless that something so small could tell so much.

There r no gurlz on teh interwebs!

my issue isn't with voice (even if I think it's a waste), nor is it in hiding anything.

it's actually about doing things in response to social pressure, that put you at higher risk (if only because they know they can manipulate you with social engineering).

the thing is, gender is meaningless in most situations online... except dating.. and if you aren't looking for that, why let yourself be manipulated by it?

if some person thinks your aren't a Real Woman™... do your breasts fall off? ovaries drop out? and other scary conversions? or do you suddenly realize that person is a jackass that A) is trying to size you up like a prize heifer and B) too immature to express intellectual interest without verifying that you are a candidate for sexual interest...

me, I'm proud to break stereotype... it means all the presumptive bastards will ignore me, and I get intelligent, curious, and interesting people to talk to =)

The only social pressure I see here is the fact that women are supposed to be at some "higher risk" if they voice while men are not. I don't need to hide myself to be protected. I voice whenever it is convenient and fun, just like men do.

.

Gender is never meaningless. It is one of the basic clues we need to function properly when having a conversation. Other clues are age, or language skills.



We are always "looking for that", maybe not consciously, but that is another topic.



Since 20% of female avatars are guys, and probably the number being higher among furries, I consider that a quite reasonable assumption. I have no problem with using voice - because being a real woman I *CAN*.

I'm a bit hard-pressed to figure out exactly what sort of conversations appropriate for a pseudo-anonymous audience in-world requires knowing the gender of the participants in advance."We"? Do you have a mouse in your pocket?Where did you come up with your statistics? You know that 85% of all statistics are completely made up at least 50% of the time?

But, seriously - I'm starting to get the impression you believe the only way we can be women is if we voice-verify to you or some other "trusted" authority. All this time, I thought my femininity was *not* an ID that had to be surrendered on demand for verification in order to be a woman!

It's not required, but it helps understanding people.



What I meant was "we as being humans tend to do this and that". (No mouse sorry, I ate them.)



I don't remember, really, but those 20% is being mentioned in several statistics about the SL population.



I wouldn't verify either because someone demands it. Voice isn't just an issue for me (anymore.. it used to be in the beginning).

There's a reason they're called stereotypes and not called facts or truths.

Here's mine:
Apparently real women don't wear a tiger skin. :|
Some random started chatting to me, then invited me to some random place. Then he started to Baawwwwwwwww that I had a tiger skin even though HE was the one that made the first move.
That's like a man hitting on a female prostitute with massive jugs and no 'bulge' whatsoever. Then right in the middle of the 'job' they stop and suddenly ask the woman to magicly grow a penis because he's 'gay and don't like women'.

Those that break the stereotypes usually are real women to me.

Also nobody should feel preasured of proving their gender in SL. Even to proof anything, gender, race, nationality, sexual preferences, etc etc.

Stereotypes are just funny things, sometimes with a little truth in them, but usually not. Mostly usefull for standup comedians.

Lol, so true. I think even if one does veer into a stereotype in some areas, so what, it's your mind, life, body and business, enjoy it.

We were in the pub one day with some friends and one girl told my friend her description of an attractive man was very stereotypical and very wrong. Thing was the the girl who judged my friend was herself a classic butch dyke.

Another time, my neighbor who is a gay actvist and deep into gender&queer politics told me, when I said I generally liked a certain type of girl, that "no you don't, you should like bla bla bla" and promply left the coffee we were hanging out over to go get me the essay that would explain it for me.

These are harmless examples as these people are friends and not about to force anything on me or my friend, politcially incorrect lowbrow heathens that we are and all. We all just laughed at it, our reactions and ourselves

In a free world, in part thanks to feminism, women have the right to be ourselves, be it stereotypical bimbo or fembo or just themselves what ever.

Isn't that "stereoscopic" as opposed to "stereotypical"?