Gender stereotypes in SL: "Real" women

The difference between political desires and reality.
- some of the people online are not able to handle themselves, they start to stalk others, and the more one confirms and shapes their fantasy, the more of a target one becomes.

If I want to freely have my own fantasy w/in SL as well, I'm safest by keeping a bright line between my SL and RL existences.

Though I suppose its not as much of an issue as using ventrillo in an MMO can be - where they can use that to get to your IP address.

But... I've been forum stalked before - it lasted a few years... and while it was 100% online and never reached to offline (though posts by the stalker did reach someone I knew offline and ended a friendship)... it was still an experience I do not desire to repeat.
- I was not as careful then as I am now, and the stalker tracked me through several different online communities.

Well, there's 'safety' and there's getting rid of idiots.

Twice in my two and a bit years, I've told some guy who wouldn't take no for an answer words to the effect of:
"Lookit bozo! in RL I'm a biker with a beard and a beer-gut. Do you still fancy me?"
and point them at the RL tab of my Profile.
There's enough there to make them feel unsure. It's not a biker guy btw!



That sort of person is insecure, so you feed their insecurity.
With this, you also give a message that you don't believe their silly avatar.
With voice, they know you're female.


I hasten to add:
I only had to use this in a situation where it didn't suit me to TP out - which generally is the best thing to do.

I am -SO- stealing that cartoon to use the pic for my 'RL photo' in my profile.

And hiding who are is not? It's much more fun to point them to your RL pic in profile, adding "I am single in both lives, and do camz and voice and what not, but *not* with *you*, unless you fork out L$10.000, being a n00b with no payment, and I am muting you now". So now tell me who is being insecure here. Worst case you get L$10.000 which hasn't happened to me yet though. Probably I am not sexy enough.

Gender stereotypes differ regionally. Alaskan girls are expected, and taught at an early age, to go in for activities that are considered male in other parts of the US and world, especially if you happen to live in bush or rural Alaska like I do.

I'm pretty girlie myself, but like most Alaskan girls, we like fishing, hunting, ATVing, snowmobiling, dog sledding, shooting, camping... I own an assortment of handguns and long guns, and go shooting for fun with my son and husband all the time.

I see being a girl as far more inside your head then what you do outwardly. If some of the stereotyped activities mentioned above are what makes men suspicious of women on SL, then I've probably been mistaken for a man a lot.

lol i was on my lunch break and in a hurry and didn't really know what you were saying so i just answered the part i could

Here's one I was told many years ago--"real women" DON'T GET ANGRY...can you-all BELIEVE that CRAP?!

It's up there with "let him win" and "don't be smarter than he is."

Possibly sarcastic, but it sounded like parody to me.. I laughed.
Just like Katheryne said, I think the point isn't so much putting yourself at such huge risk, as it is a defiant stance against jumping through hoops for someone ELSE'S piece of mind. The risks of using voice in itself are fairly minimal, and I'd wager most of the time it's not about fear, hiding one's gender, or acting the victim. It's about giving a stiff middle finger to those idiots who suggest you have no credibility UNLESS you undertake their little test, for their satisfaction alone. The possibility of providing validation and tipping the scales for some wierdo when they DO finally hear you as the real woman you are is just added incentive to not give in.

This. I would have no problem with confirming various details from RL to someone if it were necessary, although I can't envision such an occasion at this moment, but I sure am not going cater to some idiot's small minded insecurities in order to prove something. There is nothing I need to prove to anyone in SL.

in rl the burka does indeed make certain women safer. my mother is blonde and green eyed. she would never dream of appearing in an iraqi street not wearing a burka and my iraqi stepfather would never allow it. why? shed be snatched off the street.

Like all things, there's a bit of both.

A mix of -I'm not here for your needs- with -I don't need you getting ideas about me-

Maybe its the 'Neko' in me, but while I love doing things for / with other people, if they get the slightest bit pushy about any of it, I'm out.

In that sense, I guess there's a strong feeling of 'you don't own me, so stop acting like you.'
- Something I encounter a -LOT- with males in MMOs, and have already seen a few times in SL.

But that, for me at least, really does also mix with the harsh memory of a past experience.

Good heavens. Now that's what I call a blast from the past!

Problem is, some people will "get ides" about you no matter what you do. On voice? I hope you don't have a nuetral sounding or even deep or husky voice, like many women do. Send a pic? Tt could be fake. Webcam? That could be your friend or sister sitting there. No matter what you do, it won't be enough for some people. The best way not to have to jump through a lot of hoops is to never jump through the first one.

"For those who know me, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, no explanation will suffice."

That's about the length and breadth of it.

This. (Fixed a typo for you, hope you don't mind )

Heh. Inserted two typos. Hope you don't mind!

.

Better you than Pep.

Exactly. When on my avatar, that's who I am. It's SL, not RL.
I could be your grandma, I could be your dog hiding in the basement with a wifi connection. I could be in the lezbian sex club with horns on, but actually your catholic priest that baptized your son yesterday (shrug, there's a priest story on the news this morning, so I've got naughty priests on the mind right now).

If I tell them "any asking about RL gets you on my permanent ignore list"
- I'm basically saying, I'm not going through that first hoop, and you're just going to have to deal with the fact that it bothers -you- that you don't know.

For me, in SL, I don't care if you actually are my dog... in SL, you're the other kitty in the hot tub and that steam isn't coming from the bubbles.

I'm secure in my roleplay, are you?

Oh, right, in a situation like that I wouldn't "verify" either. But in the casual voice situation I would never restrain my voice usage because of safety concerns.

Yes, sadly and ironically, a burka makes them indeed safer. It's like making your brand new camera (or any other lifeless piece of property) dirty so it won't get stolen.

Stalker, stalker! How did you get my fax number!

I don't fix typos. Hell, I don't even *comment* on typos!

Pep (But once you have any sort of reputation it can be illogically expanded to accommodate all kinds of irrelevant characteristics. )

I get the same protection by carrying a gun and knowing how to use it. It is an absolute atrocity that women anywhere should have to be afraid to go out in public without some form or protection. It says alot about the level of civilization in those places women are not safe, they have barely risen above the level of mindless animals.

Hey!