ok. The end is nigh

You know it!

I've seen way too many people put "what are they hiding" or "if you won't talk about your RL don't even think of talking to me" in their profile/1L tab already. What is a registry going to do? People dislike a squeaky wheel.

"What are you hiding?"

"You must be ugly"

"You must be old"

"You must be married"

"You must be a(n opposite gender)"

"What are you, PARANOID?"

"*I'm* not a stalker. You can tell me."

"What are you, UNFRIENDLY?"

LOL.

It happens NOW. I don't see how anyone could claim it won't increase 100x if everyone is required to fill in the 1L panel with 1L details.

The existence of this idiotic E Harmony registry might be less painful, if that update also contained the choice for each user to eliminate their 1L panel altogether.

On harrasment: I run across the FL pryers occasionally, luckily they show their intentions early. I usualy am able to politely disengage if I do npt want to go along, but on the rare occasion someone gets belligerant, I mute and walk away. If harrased further, AR, ban eject, whatever. Don't let them make you feel like a victim, or that you have to prove anything to anyone.

This is more a case of not necessarily of maintaining a hard wall between the lives, I don't and have run across very few who do, especially outside of RP. It's more about telling someone what you want them to know and when. Most people will discuss casual elements of RL as they interact, even if it is small talk. A lot of us discuss our real lives here in the forum. But we do it when we are comfortable, and with who we choose. I don't hand someone I meet in RL a card with all my vital statistics on it, and I don't do it online. Some of it is probably generational/cultural, before SL I never "lived" anywhere on the internet, I barely used it except for shopping and some reading/research. Others, especially younger people, seem more willing to put it all out there for everyone to see. *shrugs*

No, I don't. I have no problem talking back. Lol.

But they annoy me just the same. It is like in RL being hassled for your phone number. Some people have no idea what a boundary is. Boundaries are necessary for good mental health for an individual, and a well knitted social fabric sociologically speaking. That the reverse is now being hawked everywhere is ironic and troubling.

(Those of you who have actually conversed with me in SL, have you found me to be dull, or uncommunicative? I think & hope not. Yet I avoid discussing things that have no place there.)

Please also know that if someone has needed an ear, a shoulder, etc., I would not only listen, but would try to help comfort them, as well as keep secrets told to me. It's just, I know due to RL experience most people do not reciprocate. As such the risk far outpaces the reward - for ME. If others want to do so, live & let live. The RL-ers never see it that way for us types though. ;p

Hmmm...


This may be... the wrong tack, I don't know... but if tools for dating are created, let the dating people use them, and the rest of us don't have to.

I'm all for people using the grid in the manner they want to, so long as I don't get trampled in the process.

What might be handy is a disclaimer for the dating enthusiasts though, that "not everyone uses this site for nookie."

For the six or seven of us that don't, of course.

I have been in SL for almost 3 years and not once has anyone asked me what I'm hiding or any of the above. The only RL information I have given out is to my RL friends in SL that already know everything anyway...or what I may have volunteered to tell about myself. No one has ever asked me for personal information. I just do not come across the type of people whom demand RL information...if anything it seems the opposite to me

Very seldom do I go to a club though...so maybe I just don't run across those type of people.

I think you are mistaken. And sorry you feel that way.

Even in this thread....there is a huge acceptance of how you go about enjoying SL....and seems to be quite a bit of intolerance toward those who mix RL. Some of it is a little bitter.

/me sighs.

"There must be something wrong with YOU - this never happens to ME."

I don't go to clubs, Belle.

Really? Where?

Certainly not in your or Smith's posts.

More like administrative removal of said bit!

OUCH! Maybe there is something wrong with me...

I think it is mainly because of where and how I spend my time in SL. Either I am on my sim creating and taking care of my stores...or I am doing something for RFL. I just don't seem to run into negative people. I never considered that I am unattractive to those types...but if so... I'm glad for it

Smith can speak for himself.....but I don't think that I dogged anyone for wanting to use SL as fantasy.....half the time I use it for that myself. I even use RL for that some days.

Maybe you are reading frustration on my part concerning keeping an open mind about SL being a venue for all types.

I think it's just a question of manners. Most people are fine, whether they like to share RL info or whether they are deeply immersed RPers. Occasionally I run across somebody who wants to shove their RL in my face and tries to insist that I do the same, just as occasionally I run across somebody who wants to shove their RP in my face and tries to insist I join in. The few on both sides give the many a bad name.

I understand. But it's not really fair to take a few bad apples and let them be the model for a whole population of people.

Sorry Belle. Let me clarify.

The sentence was in quotes because that is what I heard while reading your post to me. In other words, that's my translation of your first post to me.

(Still seems you are not seeing that's how your post came across. Or your 2nd one either actually. I don't run into negative people so much as ones who try to control me for whatever reason of their own.)

I think that's a brilliant idea.

Thanks Smith.

I think that would make both parties more comfortable with the idea.

I'd still prefer social networking not be part of THIS particular platform (and it might surprise you to know I'm in those other ones) but I've learned a while ago that with LL "resistance is futile."

We do it all the time, unfortunately.

yeah, I know....I probably did it in this thread when I talked about that fat azz heaving and panting on the side of the mountain.

I get it now...and I'm sorry also. I did not mean anything negative towards you at all!

See...to me this is another example of miscommunication...I could have explained it better in voice. And I think most of my friends will agree that I communicate much better in voice....writing is another of my non-talents. What I was trying to say is that my SL experience does not include this type of harressment. But as I explained before...it just may just be what I do and where I go in SL.

Or....I could just be a boring person

I don't mean to crack a really tasteless joke here... but in voice, you would probably find that Belle was not speaking in the harsh tone that you imagine. As for myself, if my posts came across as cranky, it's probably because I am working on probability formulas I don't mean anything as a personal attack and I support your right to privacy and complete lack of reality in your SL if that's what you enjoy.

Oh, you said it first, Belle!! LOLz

It's okay, I didn't think it was intentional.



I have voice chatted on occasion, but to me, text chat is ideal, since I always communicated best in writing anyway. Now, with the possibility that people can locate you via IP ping while in voice chat, revealed recently on the forums, I've decided to never voice chat again.

The problem only comes in when someone - in my experience, usually (not always) a male interested in 'more' - *insists* on something the person has declined. That would apply to personal information, insistence on voice chat, anything really that's been said "no" to already. Some people just like to push others around. My reaction to that is stubbornness and, if continued, anger.

But what I was trying to say is that social pressure runs through the entire atmosphere of a place in which "A" is the norm, whatever "A" might be. For instance, even someone's saying "but I've never had it happen, I must go to nicer places" or "it must be who you are hanging out with." Puts the responsibility, and shame, even, upon the wrong person in saying that.

It isn't where I go or who I hang out with - people are people and some like to push others around to their way of thinking. Some like to push people just to make themselves more comfortable (for instance, they want voice so they ridicule those who do not - same with 1L deets) or without even understanding it's wrong to do so.



It's the 2nd thought & the way it was originally phrased - sounded a bit judgmental.



I'm sure that isn't it.

Debating it to this degree, I run the risk of seeming to think about this more than I actually do, or even, as Mickey commented, sounding "bitter." I'm only annoyed when I think about those types of people I quoted, which really is only when these topics come up where people question the sanity, normalcy, and other good qualities of those who choose not to follow the social norm.

Seems there are 2 factions in SL and they define 'norm' differently.

I didn't find it harsh, just a bit, well, perhaps unthinking. I would've found it the same in voice. She didn't realize that she is applying a bit of social pressure/putting the onus on the recipient of bad behavior instead of where it belonged.



I interpret your posts, when they become a bit acidic, as snarky, not cranky. You are sometimes a bit mean when it might not be totally necessary. I have no clue how I come across. I can debate things too long sometimes. In print it is impossible to know if one's point has come across or not (until someone says so.)

I don't want a complete lack of reality in SL - there is no such thing. I've tried to word it carefully - I don't know if I've totally failed to communicate with you or if you are just taking the p.

Well I couldn't disagree with you more here. And actually I find what you said there ("unthinking" to be mean, while Belle said nothing that I could identify as mean in the slightest.



I highly doubt that, unless you blatantly disregard or are unable to interpret verbal emotional cues.



You are reading that into it, I think. I am sometimes cranky and impatient when people are illogical but I am rarely accused of being out-and-out mean or unfair.



Have you noticed that 3 people have apologized to you in this thread for imagined slights against you yet you haven't apologized for your actual insults yet? You come across as slightly paranoid that people are attacking you, which you then take as carte blanche to insult them.



Again, you interpret an innocent statement as an attack against you.

Melita....I never know what "the norm" is here....and couldn't care less.....in fact, would prefer NO norm at all....and kind of go about it as if there is none.

I will put a bug in people's ear about not discounting voice altogether.....because it is amazing....and wouldn't want someone to miss that because they heard too many bad comments about the subject. But I do realize that not everyone can do it.

Not sure how this got off on a voice debate.....but going back to original topic....

There are tons of people here already, using SL as a venue for connecting with people....most, using it wisely and cautiously....(that's an assumption).....without stepping on other people's toes....

so why not offer up that venue to a HUGE population that is unaware of what SL has to offer.

And I'm not talking Facebook. I don't like Facebook. I have not seen one person in this thread who likes Facebook. I think that is for the naive and the foolish....who have not yet discovered what goes on, on the Internet....no offense to anyone using it....but geez....your real name? and your real access? pictures of your house? pictures of your kids? on the web?

I'm talking about the 30 to 60 year old single person, who has a pretty good paying job....or better....has an open mind....is familiar with the workings of the Internet....has a grasp on how to handle their personal information in a discreet way (most do - not all).....and has Time on their hands. That is an ideal SL customer there....on a silver platter. You even have what they need already....don't even have to produce it.

Those people are already in the mix here. Tons of them. I bet some of them are your best friends. I'm saying.....Add more. And yeah, I know.....there are other projects that need to be finished first.