How do you tell Man from Woman?

Most of these are guys trying to avoid working. Some are women wanting to kill those guys in battle, because they have to work now too.

LOVE the generalizations... here's my breakdown of this:

Rather like one of my very best friends in SL, a swedish girl who I know for a fact is female in RL.

OK now that's just an asshole, male or female disregarded


I had a pet who was rather like this.. female av, male in RL (Know for a fact yet again). I also know about 10 others in-world who I'm fairly certain are male in RL that this describes

The first is quite a few people in SL rofl
The second, maybe they just don't have a webcam!? I'm 18, unmarried, and have no webcam, but do have voice. Does that make me a middle aged housewife? No I'm not an escort..but I've considered it..they make good money.

1st one not necessarily..could just be a bot
Second one... OK yeah lol

I can't help but smile at the question... What is so hard about respecting the wish of the person you want to be with to not deceive them in the ONE thing they ask to NOT be deceived about. In all the deception and pretense, hopefully there can be some sort of anchor to hang onto rather than get so lost in the deception that you drown in a sea of TOTAL deception. There ARE people in this world who still have this sort of sensibility about them, they are not a dying breed that is slowly going away, and they are walking among you in SL. They are called many things, some of which are ugly names. I happen to be one of them, the heterosexual crowd. What is so repulsive about them, I would like to know? I have friends in SL who are bi-sexual and homo-sexual, I do not look down my nose at them...they are my friends. I love with and, laugh with them. It is my business if I choose not to be 'sexual' with them, I should at least expect the same sort of respect from them, that I give to them, and not pooh-pooh their sexual preferences. I am not sure where this thread is going so I will pause at this point until I hear someone making a respectful reply.

Niki, That indeed IS a tragedy... I am saddened by (your?) broken heart. I guess greifers take many forms. and some take longer to manifest themselves...I hope (you?) recover from the wounds. Peace...

Not reliable at all hahahaha. I call my partner Hon, darlin, baby all the time...I have huge breasts (cheaper that RL plastic surgery) and I can dress a bit ummm "naughty" when we go out. My avi is also very tall (another RL wish lol).

I don't think the sex of the person behind the computer matters, I am more interested in their thoughts and feelings.

Another one I read elsewhere that made me laugh was wearing latex with long spike pasties.

Some men have none of either though, and some women have an abundance of both.

Damn!!!!! You saw me out at the club Saturday night didn't you?

It is fun reading this thread but I agree with those who ask "why even bother trying to find out". While SL is free, it is also expensive - we spend real world time being in SL. If you meet someone who you enjoy being with, someone who makes that expediture worthwhile then you have found a good person - enjoy them and not worry if they are male/female, young/old, pretty or whatever. Enjoy that which is inside every avatar -- a real person.
Treat them with respect and as persons, not objects

That is a good point. If you have your online romance with someone, and you become aware that it is very important to your online romantic partner that you are of a particular biological sex in real life, it's not acceptable to lie about your biological sex and continue the online romance. An honest way of dealing with it would either be to tell, or don't tell but end the online romance. It's dishonest and disrespectful to lie and continue the relationship.

It is possible to have it all- adhere to your own personal preferences, and be respectful of others' personal preferences, even when they are in conflict. But sometimes the way to have both is to realize when you just can't have a harmonious relationship with someone else, and that it's best for you and the other person to stop wasting time with each other, and for each of you to find more compatible friends.

Huh? Well I'm hetero, and so far I haven't been called any ugly names... I'm proud of who I am and my choices. I'm honest with everyone I meet simply because it wouldn't even come to my mind to lie about who I am. I was referring more to the way an avatar looks like on screen during 'cybering' and fantasies. I think we are talking about two different things. I understand that you would want people to be honest with you, especially if you are only asking them this one thing when you are having some sort of _relationship_, be it a platonic friendship or not. In any case, I was talking about cybering, not relationships.

Maybe I just don't understand the meaning of the word 'cyber' or I just use the word wrong.

for fun...
Won't voice? - voice sucks, I must be a guy
Won't cyber with a guy? - eww, I must be a guy
Won't go all melty when fed a few lines? - pfft please, I must be a guy
Provides a good description of a female orgasm? - would you like that real time? I must be a guy
Asks another female to describe her orgasm? - no I know what they feel like, yay I'm a woman
Provides quick and plausible answers to 'female' question like clothes, cosmetics and "the curse". - can't win this one can I? I must be a guy
Gets upset if accused of being a guy? - sorry that's an insult to me, I must be a guy
Suspects other females of being a guy? - could care less, yay I'm a woman

- has "no guys" in profile - I'm guessing posting I'm a lesbian count, must be a guy
- says "hun", "hon", or "sweetie" too much - guilty, I grew up with 'hun' use it on all my friends, must be a guy
- Barbie avatar with huge breasts - hah my modesty finally payed off, I'm a woman
- dresses Barbie avatar like slut - ditto the above, I'm a woman

Very sexually aggressive - yay, being shy payed off, I'm a woman
Asking for RL details very fast - never care, yay I'm a woman
Lesbian with porn star picture in her RL profile - lesbian, no porn star pic... I'm a eunnuch?
Pushes on when a girl rejects sex with them - which girl? my GF? or random jane?, guess I'm a eunnuch again

Is insulted when a guy refuses to have sex with them - I'd never want to, yay I'm a woman
Uses men to buy mostly haircuts or shoes for them - even I'm not that cold, must be a guy
Gets off talking about combining clothes - talk to a few of my RL exes, bleh, but I'm a woman
Girl escort with voice but no cam - I'm no escort, I do chat voice with my friends sometimes, cam stolen by ex, too broke to replace (and really who cares?) I must be a middle aged housewife... :nicker::

Female Score: 853
Male Score: 282

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: female!

EDIT forgot the linked page.. http://www.wikihow.com/Determine-the-Gender-of-Your-Date
1. Look at her (or his) hand. Compare the length of your date’s fourth and second fingers. Most men have ring fingers that are conspicuously longer than their index fingers, whereas most women have ring fingers that are close to the same length. Testosterone levels likely account for the greater length.
analysis: unknown, one is longer, the other is about the same

Also take notice of the amount of hair on your date’s knuckles, hands, and forearms. Most men will have visible, dark hair (or signs of recently removed hair) on their hands and wrists, and sometimes knuckles.
ouch I got teased in school for having hair on my arms =(
Analysis: male

2. Be suspicious of baggy clothing. Your intended may be trying to conceal a telltale bulge.
but I like baggy clothes.... and corset tops...
Analysis: unknown

3. Look for an Adam’s apple. Most men have a bump in the middle of their throat. Most women do not.
well I win this one, but my fave actress does (sandra bullock)
analysis: female

4. Observe shoulders and hips. Men’s shoulders tend to be broader than their hips, while women’s hips and shoulders tend to be closer to the same width. Do not be fooled by shoulder pads.
yeah I got no hips....
Analysis: male

5. Follow your target up a flight of stairs. Take note of how she (or he) moves while ascending. Men tend to walk in a more “straight ahead” motion with minimal “wobbling” back and forth. Women tend to sway a bit from side to side, due to the position of their pelvises. Women also tend to lean forward slightly.
my last gf commented on this =)
Analysis: female

6. See which bathroom they go to at a public place. "Womens" or "Mens"
duh
Analysis: female

This has been an interesting thread to read, as I ponder my first five weeks in sl. I was just yesterday wondering why I have many more females in my friends list than males.

My conclusion is that for me, socializing is the fun aspect of sl. I like to take my time to get to know people, and for them to take time with me. Most of the people in sl who I've met and who love to stand around and chat have been women. Beyond that, I don't care who they are in rl as long as they are pleasant and interesting.

The males who are looking for a quickie are the most boring people in the sl population. Is there a guidebook for them that says during a first chat with a girl (1) invite her to dance, (2) offer her friendship because that's the only way to coordinate a time to go dancing, (3) take her dancing for as little time as possible, then (4) bed her as quickly as possible?

So guys, chat up the women. And for more than a couple of weeks. If you can stand it.

I thought that was the RL clubbing handbook for men...

That gender genie thing is weird. I just fed it a few of my stories and got this:

Female Score: 3033
Male Score: 3477


Female Score: 2709
Male Score: 2425


Female Score: 331
Male Score: 334


Female Score: 3417
Male Score: 3722

Female Score: 8590
Male Score: 7308(THAT was a story co-written with a male...)


Female Score: 205
Male Score: 291

Female Score: 3394
Male Score: 6538
(THAT one was a scholarly article)


So apparently I'm more male than female. Too bad I'm actually female....and I can do all kinds of repairs and read a map better than most men I know, too.

Oh and that was just scary-


Mine ARE longer, but I'm neither hairy nor male. And my hands themselves are small....

Somewhere out there, a doctoral candidate is writing about how SL deconstructs gender.

I think it kinda is. lol

I've been in SL for several months now, and for some reason this topic has just begun to come up when i meet people, lol...

One man asked me about my taste in shoes... LOL. I didn't have the heart to tell him that many RL men would know a lot more about shoes and designers than me. I just channeled "Sex and the City" to answer.

I tend to be honest in my answers when asked about RL. Some things I don't want to answer and say so. But I feel fairly comfortable taking most avatars at face value... What choice do you have, really? To spend your SL time in paranoid fantasies, or just enjoy the person you're with.

~Maitri

In a way, this makes me appreciate the Second Life strangers who come up to me and say right out, "Hello, do you want to have sex?" I answer "No thank you," they go away, and I've only had about 3 second of time wasted.

When they ask me to dance, and I accept, and then get no conversation during the dance, and then five minutes into it I get the question, "Do you want to have sex?"- Well, in those cases, I've had 5 minutes of my time wasted.

It's not "prudish to wish not to be deceived in this one thing".
It's just a little odd that it's the only question.

A person's sexuality is certainly something that gives a flavour to their existence that can't be explained to or understood by others who don't share that sexuality (covering a number of bases here!).
It's not the most important thing about them however.

If you have casual cybersex with some avatar, and that avatar turns out to be of "inappropriate" sex in RL, then that's just to bad for you. You feel violated? Tough! You were using them to gratify yourself. So you're both even.

Terminology: Hopping on poseballs and swapping dirty talk is not "being intimate". That sort of "intimate" is just pussy-footing (so to speak) for people too prudish to say "fuck".


If a friendship with another avatar is developing into a truly intimate relationship, then I find it hard to imagine not becoming aware of a whole bunch of situations over time in which the apparent sex of the other avatar begins to ring false.
I know people who I either know to be, or strongly suspect to be, of opposite RL sex to that of their avatar. That's without even getting to first base.

I also know people who were in such a rush to find love and partnership in SL that they suspended their critical faculties.

Or perhaps they are using the word 'intimate' because either they 1) do not wish to offend or break the PG forum guidelines, and/or 2) they do not use the word 'intimate' to mean hopping on and off poseballs. I don't think prudishness has anything to do with the use of the word.

and will probably win an award for it too, almost makes me want to pursue that degree in psychology

Well I am a little odd then, and an exception to the rule... No, it is not the only question I ask...It is the only really PERSONAL question I wish to ask. If someone offers me their personal information, I do not refuse it; then again, I do not betray their trust, nor do I use it as a weapon against them. If they ask me personal questions, I will answer them with a strait answer, or tell them; 'none of your business.' I have given several women the brush off because of impertinent questions. After all we all have the ability (and freedom) to choose who our friends are...
Interestingly enough, I may not have even been referring to cyber-sex at all, not that it may or may not inter the picture; I spend most of my time on SL either dancing chatting and joking around with women. I find it stimulating to my mind, my libido is usually reserved for RL...there is an occasional SL rendezvous, but that is an exception to the rule. I am not sure where you are coming from, or are trying to go with your statements here; could you clarify what you mean?

My next comment is to Lillia, the OT of this thread: I appreciate your original question because it is a subject I am very keenly interested in, and for the most part this topic has been an enlightening one, Thanks for starting it, I just hope Strife feels it has not used up it's usefulness like many threads that deal with similar questions.

I didn't realize that this was an issue, until I had a guy I met at a live music event start questioning me with these random questions. I quickly realized what he was getting at, and he did, in fact, finally ask me if I was a RL woman or not. I just kinda LOL'd and said "sure I am", but then he wanted me to send him pics. I was about to VC him and tell him "Of course I'm a girl!" but he didnt even have VC enabled, LOL. (and he was questioning me, lol)
Anyways, what gets me is why is it I can put on my kitty-cat ears, and no one questions if I really am a cat in RL, LOL. Am I being deceitful by not disclosing this up front? I see some avi's that are animals, vampires, robots, etc. Why is it not a question that comes up for them? I thought the whole point in creating your avi is to use your fantasy and imagination in doing so. I mean, OMG, do you really think SL is full of beautiful bomb-shell girls and gorgeuous, muscular boys?? Of course not, its all fantasy!!

Well some girls in SL are quite gorgeous and the boys would like to know if you're one of them. Because if you are then just maybe you'd like to have some nasty hot sex!. Imagine that! A guy liking sex!! LOL! WTF!! RIDICULOUS!

OMG! Guys are so crazy! LOL!

I really am a cat in Real Life. Really, isnt this going nowhere? It is all speculative. The best way to be is bisexual - that way you will never be short of a date on a Saturday night. So I am a bisexual cat.