How do you tell Man from Woman?

I'm intrigued .. how *does* a girl say,

"Today got off to a reasonable start. I still think it is going well but I need more coffee"?!?

says i'm male.....Oo?
/me goes to bathroom and does a plumbing check......

they usually excuse themselves....quickly!

phew, I'm female, but I knew that really lol.


I tested a business letter I had written. Guess I'm not very professional...

Any scoring system has a 50% chance of getting it right.
Some randomish number thrown in make it appear to be science.

Forget science. Use the old reliables for 'quickie' verification.

Note that these are guidelines only, and at best only have a 50/50 chance.
The important thing is to feed your prejudices/insecurities.
The best thing to do do is to decide what the answer is, and only then use a method to prove to yourself that you are right.


Female avatar:
Won't voice? - Guy
Won't cyber with a guy? - Guy
Won't go all melty when fed a few lines? - Guy
Provides a good description of a female orgasm? - Guy who can use Google, and is possibly an attentive lover in RL.
Asks another female to describe her orgasm? - Guy
Provides quick and plausible answers to 'female' question like clothes, cosmetics and "the curse". - Guy who can use Google
Gets upset if accused of being a guy? - Guy
Suspects other females of being a guy? - Guy

Male avater:
Looks like Superman on steroids? - Guy
Does not look like Superman on steroids? - Gay guy
Can not rezz a penis without 24 hours notice? - Guy - mostly harmless


Androgynous/robotic avatar:
Why worry? Be happy.

I'm just waiting for the first person to ask my RL bra size. I can promise that person a kick where it hurts faster than the lady in Knickerbox can say 'Can I help you madam?'

<puts Jock strap on>

So what is it?

While searching for the Gender Genie site, one of the results that came up was:

How to Determine the Gender of Your (RL) Date
(http://www.wikihow.com/Determine-the-Gender-of-Your-Date)

Apparantly some people need help even in real life, or they're so paranoid that they're still suspicious when the person is sitting right across from them .

Wow Lilliana, quite a thread in such a short time!

Bilbo started off female for a couple of weeks not realising what the heck SL was or was capable of. In that short time I was introduced to the fact that there were people really hung up on 'true gender'.

Some while later, I started my female alt with the purpose of further investigating me really. That earlier experience had woken feelings I didn't even know I had. Christ! I'd always hated shopping before!!!

In my early 'bad' days, she met and friended people. One 'girl' from East Coast US was immense fun to share time with. I had a slightly niggling wonder if 'she' was what she portrayed but hell! I knew I wasn't so what the heck! What did it matter?

My alt met another girl, from Europe, also heart-warming company. We had in depth conversations and agreed mutually we wouldn't go further into RL than we were both happy with. She was going through a tough RL episode and I hope my presence as her friend helped her through this. Her lifestyle changed as a result and we distanced ourselves a little as a result. Still friends, still say hi.

Time passed and I came to terms more with what my alt was for. She was never about deceit or lies or deception really. I've seen so many of these threads about 'does RL gender matter' etc.

Just a few days back I was logged in as my alt and checking inventory when a female avatar came by, looking around, exploring. I did the 'friendly native' bit and started a conversation. We were having fun. Nothing untoward, nothing seedy, just an open, clear conversation. Something happened. She poured her heart out to me, starting giving me the 'all men are b*****ds' and revealing her unfortunate history with bf's. I was stunned and shocked. I'd thought about the old adage 'if you get somewhere in SL you don't want to be, hit that little X in the corner' but that was too easy and might leave her there wondering what the hell had happened. I lent her my ear. I just tried my level best to support and sympathise.

So yes Lilliana, I agree with you that at times it can matter! She composed herself after her outburst and apologised for opening up to a complete stranger but this too, proves you right. She wanted and deserved an ally in a moment of anger and sadness.

Some of you might cynically suggest she actually saw through me and played a mean trick. You could be right. I would bear her no malice if such is true, can even see it as funny but what if it was real?

Many here have given Lilliana a 'why does it matter?' instead of an answer. It *can* matter.

A few indicators (none reliable) which I've read in the past:

- has "no guys" in profile
- says "hun", "hon", or "sweetie" too much
- Barbie avatar with huge breasts
- dresses Barbie avatar like slut

I'm fairly certain about a couple people in my friends list, but I really don't care. I take them as they present themselves.

To me personally this question does not matter. I don't need to know about someone's RL gender. That's their business. As I am not interested in carrying SL into RL at the moment it isn't relevant. Yet I can see why people would want to know. i think that I would be upset if I was deliberately decieved. Not necessarily by someone being female in SL and male in RL but by someone who I trust, who has actually offered the information saying that they were a female in both worlds, but turns out they actually aren't in RL. That is deliberately lying. I won't ask the question but I think if you are offering personal info it should be true.
Bilbo has made a very good point. Sometimes gender matters. I doubt that woman would have been able to talk like that with a male avvie. And it obviously helped her.

I don't think there is any particular way to tell male controller from female controller. Everyone is different. i certainly don't fit into a lot of the female stereotypes. I can read a map and I also ask for directions. I don't follow RL fashion. I am very unlikely to answer your questions when it comes to periods, bra size etc - At least until i know you well enough. And I definitely don't wear 'pantyhose' or whatever you want to call them. I am unlikely to answer any of the questions above. Well apart from the few lines one lol I'm a sucker for them.
I think the best bet is to ask for the truth and trust them.

True - ish.
Look at it another way.
Bilbo could have been in his male avatar. The two would still have had a friendly conversation, but the woman would have continued on and perhaps never met a (real) female who would lend her a compassionate ear when she really needed one.

"And it obviously helped her", but it left Bilbo feeling a little uncomfortable.
That's two separate brownie points for Bilbo





For my part, I never ask.
It would seem rude and unnecessary.
I have a stable RL relationship and I get all my 'drama' there

Geez, Des...I often get so involved in actually talking with someone that I simply leave my av standing wherever she is...sometimes ten meters away and looking away from the person I'm speaking to.

Now I'm going to have to talk less and spend more keystrokes positioning my avatar. Thanks heaps.

Oh...and I've got to stop opening the damn map, too.

Omg that is sooo true!

I nominate Kelly for the title of "Brenda Conolloy Look-Alike".

Woo hoo!! .... Uh - oh!! I hope 'she' isn't reading the forum .. or I'll end up having to buy her more shoes as a prize!

Well, I propose we name the distance required for a male avatar to stand away from Kelly so she can't reach him, a Desmond!

Liliana, take a look at Strangel's post just two down from this one. These people aren't trying to pull the wool over your eyes, or experimenting, "trying to pass for female". Transgendered people really ARE the opposite gender, in their own minds. Their RL physical appearance is an unfortunate handicap, like having a big ugly nose or a cleft palate.

They're not trying to be manipulative. The reason they don't tell you their biological gender is because they think it will place a barrier between you (as your post makes clear it probably would).

Hmmm. Re-reading the above, it's not quite that simple. Actually, you'll find a whole spectrum of approaches to gender, and to transgender issues, in SL. Everything from the guy who has a female alt and occasionally plays dress-up for fun, to the TG player who actually PLAYS as TG, with a prim member under her skirt, to the "deep cover" TG who only wants to be, and be treated as, a woman in SL. And of course, there are female-to-male players too...but they seem to be fewer in number.

I've known TG people in RL. If you can look past their exterior, it's easy to see their true gender. It's even easier in SL, so why not relax and enjoy it? You'll meet lots more nice, and interesting, people if you take them at face value.

I can read maps. I wear "the trousers" a lot of the time (but I am so glad when someone else has the ability to make sure that he does instead). I am definitely not the average lady. I have two X chromosomes. Sometimes I am surprised by that, because I don't need sunshine blowing up my derriere.

I ask them. Politely. Try it sometime. ;3

I'm still wondering what on earth a 'pantyhose' is. Are we talking some form of concealed colonic irrigation system here?

*chortle*

I didn’t have time (at work now) to read all the posts, but the ones I read were interesting.

Scenario: I am standing (close) to a very beautiful and sexy woman avi, who I would like to get to know.
It does matter to me if the person behind the female Avi is female. I really have not found a way to know for sure. I usually ask the question... eventually. At times 'she' passes over a photo of her in RL, or gives me her 'my space' address telephone number and email address... (Still not a way to know for sure)

The only way I can be more than 50% sure is to be a good listener. I have listened to what women mostly like to talk about, the same for men, and there is a difference (generally).

You can't go by personality types, men and women alike fall within the same four basic personalities almost equally.

I am a male in RL & SL who is mostly a melancholy personality type (and heterosexual in RL & SL)

Personally I feel more comfortable talking to women because they don't compete with me on the same of level that men compete. Men seem to gravitate to comparing their virility and size. Sports ECT. Women tend to compete on an intellectual level.
I have no interest in woody size, or in sports (except recreational sports like scuba-diving and sailing)

I tend to associate with the people I create for...Women. I am currently creating high fashion (sculptie) in SL for the former owner of La Cadre, (some of you are familiar with the quality of fashion there) so I talk to quite a few women.
I usually find that women have conversations that are more interesting than men’s conversations. I can also appreciate a woman’s world view, which leans more towards peace and getting along, rather that war and one-up-man-ship. They usually are not the people who shoot first and ask questions later. So yeah, I can only hope the person behind the sexy female avi is a woman, but sometimes you can never tell... and if it’s hard to tell after all the litmus tests, it’s usually better to leave the question to others, and enjoy the ride.

Quote of the day!!

I win!!

Where's my prize .......?

1st of all I am a woman and I CAN read a map.. NEXT

(What was the question?)


I hear you darling...some of the best cartographers I ever met were women!