Ask Jake Anything

Either in the last box you plan to look in, or in the last box you actually look in. Though you might try the one you wrote "dinner plates" on in magic marker. Though in all liklihood those are broken already.

Because its not a dog. Sartrax somehow failed in his duties to be proplery servient to the holy kitty, and well the cat is now punishing him. Only a dumb human would think that the problem lies with the cat.

Why did people stop asking questions?

I don't know. I suppose they figure they can get the answer they want by putting it in a thread, then they can choose to beleive one thing over another. People's personal mythology is ammleable, and they want multiple choice answers so the truth does not make them uncomfortable.

Some are even under the misconception that my answers are wrong. While others simply labour with trying to get me to tell them what they want to hear, and still others want to use AJA as a sounding board for thier own personal agendas-like getting ride of standard time because Daylight Savings time is better.

Still others simply have nothing to ask.

And many know everything already.

Finally, many do not dare expose their personal issues in the forums, unlike dr. laura, here you are not anonymouys (unless you PM me) and well who wants to have thier named opened up to the wolf pack.

But thank you for asking a question, its nice to know people still care.

Dear Jake,

I just pre-ordered a new laptop recently, and was informed that it had shipped on 06/01/06. According to the tracking information it'll be here on the 6th. Is it a bad omen that my new computer will arrive on 6/6/6? Do you think I'd get more than a bemused silence if I asked UPS to hold onto it for an extra day? Will sacrificing a newbie at midnight help (any excuse will do )?

Impatient in Idaho,
Karsten

you computer will not arrive on 6/6/6. Your computer might arrive on 6/6/2006, or even 6/6/06. The 06 is a shortened form of 2006. despite the best efforts of the people who remade the Omen (we are not even going to disucss hollywood and remakes, or why julia stiles felt the need to do a screamer), the 666 analogy for june 6, 2006 is plain wrong. don't succumb to ignorance. Take your computer when it comes and leave the newbies alone.

Dear Jake, How difficult is it to get a Canadian into the US if you have no intention of marrying them?

Jake, how concerned should I be, having just received this global email from the top exec in our building?

I've not seen the new or old Omen, so I have no opinion regarding it. However, why is it legitimate to shorten 2006 to 06 and not merely 6? By the same token, we shorten the month and day from 06/06/06 to 6/6/06, yet we discriminate against the year. Should not we be equal opportunity date butcherers?

These are very important questions that must be answered for the good of society.

Not hard at all if you slice them thin enought...

but really, getting a canadian in to the us is not hard if they just want to visit. Its harder if they want to work.

I would be very concerned. Such an e-mail seems liek the pre-layoff scheme to me.

The shortening occurrs because the first tow digets identifying an century are typically the same for a hundred years, so they get dropped. The last tow digits are variable, so they are retained. thus it becomes 06 and not just 6.

we are equal opportunity date butcherers, but 06 is an extension of 6, and thus the 0 can be dropped. 2006 is the year and it is shorted, like any other year, by dropping the first two numbers becoming 06.

I notice that negative forum topics out number more positive ones by at least three to one. Do forums bring out the worst in people?

Yes they do. Because people like to feel better by flaming others who disagree with our closely held positions. Also humans in general are bitchers, not praisers. Thus we operate in a society that is run by the gripe.

For example, a controversial billboard spawns a number of complaints. The corporation advertising on the billboard takes it down. The corporation has sone Idea of the number of people offended by the billboard, but has no idea of the number of people who thought it was funny, or did not care one way or another. People don't call and give praise, not do they call when they are neutral. But a person with a gripe always calls, and they get results.

thus in the forums, people come to gripe. They come to vent, or to see if other people feel the same way, and frankly SL, LL and american politcs gives people plenty to gripe about. But hey, if we don't like something, chances are we can accomplish two things by griping online: 1 we can find others who feel the same way and form a dog pack of braying houds with the same gripe; and 2. we can find dissenting victims to unleash our braying dogpack upon. We can eviscerate and ostracize this poor hapless dissedent, and there by may oursleves look goo in fron t of the pack, and make the pack feel better for demonstarting is obvious superiority to the hapless dissenter.

How do I choose an emotion for a car? As I was daydreaming about my next vehicle, I found that my options for color will be Mysterious, Sly, Agressive, Cool, Envious, Deep or Pure. Do you think it's better to represent or to aspire through one's choice? Which color/emotion do you recommend?

Thanks for your insight,
Margaret

(Although after your last response, I feel a bit dirty posting anything in a forum at all. Maybe I should just check to see if I can get it in Shame. )

What is the one true faith? Who should we vote for? What diet will help keep me fit and healthy? What instructions can you give me that will mean I won't have to take responsibility for my own life and actions?

Musuko.

You know i like it when you feel dirty.

As far as cars go. Its better to have one that runs and is a good color for the area you live in. I reccomend white, since you feel dirty.. at least you can aspire to purity.

For me a car is about its suspensionand its engine. I know all the tricked out cars from the fast and furious look impressive, but I cringe when I see all that added interior weight. Thus I do not think of cars in terms of color-its enough that they have one, besides it hides the bondo.

Yet at the same time you may want your car to be an expression of you-either who you are or what you want to be. I would say that if you are a always realistic about who you are, then indulge with the car and be who you want to be.

Of course much depends on what your next car will be. Tell me what you are considering and I will tell you what color it should be.

the one true faith is the holy church of Aimee Weebler, for which I am the ponitfex maximus

A diet of simple vegetables, fruits, fish and chicken, with whole grain breads and small amouts of dairy will keep you healthy, as long as you don't eat too much and stay away from deserts.

If you do not want responsibility for your life..do not be born. Once you are born you are responsible for how you live your life. Suicide does not, by the way, releive you of responsibility.

Pontiac Solstice. I agree that the vehicle performance, fit and feel takes priority over the color. Probably why I have no hard preference when it comes to that option. Except green; I'm not a fan of green. Maybe I don't want to be reminded of the amount of green that was spent to buy it. Seeing the color selection represented by emotions made me wonder if this choice deserves more thought and who better to ask than Jake?

I thought it was the Church of the Fonz

And british racing green is the best color ever for a vehicle. However for a roadster, I reccomend white or red as an alternative.

Also, I cannot strees enough, before you make a major mistake-the new miata is a lot more car at a better price than the solstice. And I don't say this because I drive a miata (I have an old one-a 91). I have been helping someone in our office with buying a brand new miata, and we checked out the solstice extensively. Its a good looking car, but like, Oakland, ther eis no there, there.

On the other hand the new miata is the product of an awesome design team, with fifteen years expereince building the roadster, and all the lessons were learned.

No. The church of The Fonz lost all credibilty when he jumped the shark.
I nam going to take your post as a question, due to my feeling especially generous today. But remember I have very accomplished and dedicated spankers. I don't care much about grammar and punctuation, however question marks are critical in this thread. Unless you are Jake.

I was making a joke based on Family Guy.

I think the Solstice is the sexiest thing on four wheels at this point. And interestingly, it's very much a chick's car, appealing strongly to women buyers. I don't think it can be dismissed as curtly as you seem to have done, Jake.

I believe the Solstice's contoured styling makes it visually far superior to the Miata. The Miata used to turn my head years ago, but it can't hold a candle to the Solstice, as far as looks go:

SOLSTICE


MIATA


Comparison:
ENGINE:
Solstice: 2.4-L DOHC
Miata: 2.0-L DOHC

HORSEPOWER
Solstice: 177
Miata: 170

FUEL ECONOMY
Solstice: 20 city / 28 hwy / 23 combined
Miata: 25 city / 30 hwy

BASE PRICE
Solstice: $20,490
Miata: $20,995

While the Miata was ranked the top compact sporty car in the annual JD Power survey of initial quality (released June 7), the Solstice was too new to be considered this year. However, as a brand, the Pontiac topped Mazda in initial quality (133 problems per vehicle for Pontiac compared to Mazda's 150. The top brand was Porsche at 91 ppv while the industry average was 124).



Actually, the MX-5 Miata is a complete redesign, as Car and Driver reports:

So, as far as being a guinea pig goes, buyers of the new Miata may also fit that category.

C&D seemed to place the two vehicles about neck-and-neck, complimenting the Solstice for its rigid chassis and handling. On comparing the two vehicles, it had this to say:



I had a chance to drive around town in a Solstice that a friend was testing for GM. It was a sweet, sweet ride.

.........................

OK, question: What South Pacific Island would make the best getaway destination for a 10th anniversary? We're looking for something quiet and off the beaten tourist track, yet not something outrageously expensive.

I love my SSEi.

She is beautiful.

Her name is Daisy.

I take good care of her.

Sometimes, she drives back home after dropping me off at work.

At lunch, she picks me up and we go to Jiffy Lube. She gets a spark plug salad with vinegar and oil, minus the vinegar.

Sometimes, I stroke her hood until she purrs like a kitten.

I love my SSEi.