What ARE Subs/Slaves/Pets exactly?

A friend of mine was bemoaning the fact that he has been advertising for Pets for a couple of weeks now, with not a single reply, to share his amazing Egyptian Palace.

I did not want to show my ignorance in front of him, so could SKS please explain the subtle differences between a sub, a slave, and a pet, and what sort of thing(s) they are expected to do in the rp sims that go in for these sorts of things (without being salacious, as I would imagine that these roles involve more than just sex. Or do they??)

Vi

A very good question...have been wondering the same. Also wondering what the draw to this is as well?

to me that's like asking what is a "girlfriend" suppose to do.. or what what is a "best friend" suppose to do or what is a "waiter" suppose to do.

i mean.. it depends where the "waiter" works...it depends on who the best friends are.. and it depends on what sort of relationship the "girlfriend" and her partner have.

people do different things in different relationships.

what your friend wants his "pets" to do.. is different than what i might want *my* pets to do.

sub/slave/pet are terms that are used interchangeably for some. Others will argue there are "precise" definitions for them (to those people i'd suggest language is way more fluid than that).

However, since your friend has an Egyptian Palace, it might be good for you to research ancient Egypt or watch some cheesy B movie set in Egypt. It might give you an idea of what your friend is looking for.


Georgie, what's the draw to anything people get into? The draw is, it makes *some* people feel happy/good/tingly/special/calm/ whatever.. Humans are drawn to whatever makes them feel ultimately good.

Why am i draw to grilled chicken and couscous?
Why is my best friend drawn to burgers and fries?

Same thing.. really.. on a much more simple scale. i'll never understand fully why my best friend likes burgers more than grilled chicken.. other than to accept that to *her* body/tongue the taste of a burger is more pleasing than chicken. And to my body/tongue it is the taste of chicken. Or.. perhaps our first memories of these things are different.. all sorts of things.. ya' know?

Well that's just my off-the-cuff sort of thoughts.

Vi, it seems like a good idea just to ask your friend. i bet they'd love to get into such a conversation with you people tend to love talking about themselves ~

I would like to clarify one point. SEX is not a requisite for a Dom/sub relationship. In fact it is often NOT involved at all.

The sub willingly gives to the Dom control over certain aspects of thier lives and behaviors. In return the Dom is expected to care for and safegaurd the sub, seeing to thier "needs" while protecting them and providing the experiences the sub requires for thier happiness. It is a relationship of trust and power.

That is the definition of the roles at its most basic. There are many variations some do involve sex and some do involve extreme violence. But neither sex nor violence are required for a solid Dom/sub relationship.

Of course in second life there are plenty of people who really aren't/never will be submissive who like to be called "Submissive/pets/slaves" because they think being a sex slave is "hawt" and like the attention.

Or they just want another way to play at sex online, of course They may not realize how little sex many sex slaves actually get.

Also there are also "Masters/Mistresses" whose main interest is sexually related as well - they like the idea of a girl friend or boy friend who cant say no, or they like the idea of having 3,4,5,10 such people.

There is a pretty wide range of how committed people are to D/S involved in these things, but simple proportions would argue that the number of people who are actually a into D/S: power exchange lifestyle are likely a minority.

Casually, submissive implies a voluntary surrender, slave implies a more involuntary surrender.

In typical lifestyle D/s (Dominance/submission) slave is a deeper commitment of submission, a slave is always a sub, but a sub may not always be a slave.

Pet is most often a term of endearment for either, though there are relationships of animal avatars to humanoid owners here that are just as it would be in rl.

Your friend would very likely do much better to advertise for submissives/slaves, and seek to meet them in the appropriate places (not playgrounds) as there is a far greater submissive population here to ratio of Dom/Dommes because of a large proportion of people just looking to explore a relatively kinky fantasy or three casually.

D/s is the relationship principle itself of being Dominant, or submissive, BDSM is the sensual practice of D/s.

A sub or slave might be tasked here with about anything, from RP'ed serving of beverages/food, greeting guests, sexual, to practical things, like building or secretarial or personal assistant...depending on the agreed upon limits.

As for appeal, it is preference oriented like anything related to want/need.

Very very very true.

That last line made me chuckle.. and agree whole heartedly.

I'd suggest to the friend maybe not to spring the Egyptian motif on candidates too soon. It may indeed be an amazing Egyptian Palace, but in the absence of actually experiencing it, nothing says "newbie with found freebie textures" quite like "Egyptian Palace." (Although "Gothic Castle" comes pretty close.)

As Djamila mentioned, in some scenarios a "slave" may not be playing a willing submissive at all, but rather a very unwilling captive. (Obviously the person at the keyboard is willing or they'd just do something else--it's not like there's anything remotely like real slavery going on.) But for the purposes of the role play, they may be constantly trying to escape or otherwise making all manner of trouble that earns harsh punishment, etc.

Often the "slave" nomenclature refers to property or "chattel" (willing or not), with the idea that at any time the slave might be sold-off to some other buyer without having any say in the matter. I doubt this actually gets played out very often, but it's a topic around which a storyline might be woven.

QFT!
As might have shined through a few of my more recent postings, I am living in such a power exchange relationship in real life, though I do not feel like acting it out in SL as well. My partner is my submissive, thats enough for me My view on the words:

Sub is short fur submissive. Just meaning you give yourself to the dominant partner. The most wonerful gift in the world. This can be just for a session after which the person is back to equal, but in a lifestyle D/s it is permanent.

Slave is not so much different. In roleplays it can mean less voluntary though one should be aware that however you call it, the other side can always put an end to it. Not just in SL but in RL as well. Not a word I like very much anyway since it is related to too many forced situations. For roleplay its perfectly okay

Pet... well it's just a thing you can call a sub/slave but in my opinion also a "vanilla" partner. Since I have 3 cats and some snakes that are my pets, I would never call my partner the same

Very little ot here by me:

i've been searching for a bdsm community and a Mistress; can you please give me some advices? I don't see a forum section about Bdsm and related topics. Thank you very much!

mmm, grilled chicken and couscous....

I had this guy ask me to be his master. He kept asking for about 30 minutes. Which seems kind of oxymoronic. I did ask him several questions about the whole slave thing and it seems like it would be a lot of work to be someone's master.

The group title I had for my first home in SL was 'Mistress Malkavian.' Malkavians are vampires and 'Mistress' was the officer role, which I noted in my profile, yet on several occasions, male avatars approached me and pretty much demanded that I take them as slaves. It seemed very backward and odd to me.

submissives are the boss

But I have no interest in dominating anyone.

I have to disagree. There is no legal involuntary(being the key word) slavery. A submissive has the right to say no. A slave is essentially owned, however, being owned is still voluntary and a choice the slave has to make. Now if you're talking about role playing, that's a different story and we all know how some people can't distinguish the difference between their role play personas and real life.

Subs have the right to say no.

Slaves have the right to say no one time only.

Yes, this is a free world and anyone can just say bite me and TP out at any time. However, with a sub, if it gets to weird, the sub can say stop. The master and sub talk things over and agree on whatever changes or limitations that may come up. If a slave says stop it can well be the end of the relationship. Do this a few times to different masters and you have a black-balled slave.

Typically when the master is not online, the sub enjoys a larger amount of freedom. Slaves are more limited on where they can go or even what times they are allowed to be on.

None of this is carved in stone and for every rule there are always exceptions. As a general rule of thumb, Slave/sub/pet relates to the level of self governance the submissive person keep. Slave the least, pet the most. Still, there are plenty of subs out there that enjoy TPE (Total Power Exchange)

Vi,
I hope you are still following this thread.
Have your friend Search for "Dominant Encounters" at a place called the D/s Sanctuary. There are boards for masters looking for subs and subs looking for masters.

[Note ... for easy of reading, i just used "master" but Master/Mistress and other such gender differences are to be implied]

I don't know about slaves, D/s, pets, etc, but I can answer this one.

Waiters bring you stuff like sandwiches and beer.
Best friends eat the sandwiches and drink your beer when you aren't paying attention.
Girlfriends are like waiters that you can have sex with.

(I kid, I kid)

You would be surprised how many submissive partners control the relationship. Especially in the real life lifestyle among the subs that enjoy the rougher side of things. It's a very turbulant life because they unknowingly do things outside of the bedroom that will lead the domanant partner to take it out on them in the bedroom.

I think I am reading the thread backwards ...

It is. The owner makes the decisions for two people. If you have ever had the conversation that went "I don't know, where do you want to go eat?" then you would not like being a Dom.

However, if you are organised and like to show off your toys but don't want to share, you would be a good Master.

As far as I can see, it's kind of divided.

First of all, there are "subs" who are actually subs. They genuinely enjoy being controlled by other people, and there are various psychological reasons for that.

Next, there are "subs" who are ... well.. I want to say "masochists". They want to be tied up or subjected to all the weird things you see made of prims and hidden behind people's curtains, but they want to be in control of that. I say "masochists" in quotes because of course the real person isn't suffering any pain, so often it's a sort of voyeuristic thing - and the attitudes tend to be more like those of porn sites than genuine relationships.

Then there are the "subs" who are honestly users. They know that "dominants" require them in order to live out a fantasy in SL, or even to role-play the way they want to, so they use the offer of that to obtain money or resources from the dominant, then leave when they want to. This is generally ugly all around.

To my dying day I won't understand what the hell the joy of that is.
Is it any wonder that people like me, who appreciate relationships grounded in equality, end up thinking that people who like being told what to do (ONLINE!!!) have some sort of bizarre RL issues?

It's like buying yourself a new bicycle and then looking for someone to tell you when to ride it. Never going to make sense to me.

No wonder those folks get picked on a lot

here is my version of submissive and dome role reversal..

True story
this is right after hockey championship a week later when he said no to me the week before when this movie came out ..

Me: Baby can we go see kung fu panda now since your basketball team is not gonna be playing anymore?Pleeeeezzzzzze? i wanna see it soo bad and i won't ask you for anything for a while ok? pleeeeezze pretty pleeeezzze ? *Smiles cuddling up on the couch next to her boyfriend running her finger up and down his neck*

The boyfriend: *turning his head slightly to make it look like an effort to look in my direction never taking his eyes from the tv while saying*Baby how many times do i have to say?? the guys and me are in a pool at work and every game counts and i could make a lot of money off of this..so not until they are over..no!!

Me: *pulls away moving to the arm of the couch curling up with a pillow looking at the tv then at him then the tv and then him again as the blood builds..I stand up*
Ok Mr basket ball man!! here is the deal!! you take em to see Kung fu PANDA or you and your buddies can go watch these stupid basket balls games at your mamma's house while i go find me a new man that will take me to see it!!!
This is your last chance!!Kung FU PANDA tomorrow night ..noo make it the next time there is a game on or you are out of here..now what is it going to be?

The Boyfriend:you know you're not gonna do that so don't even try it..

Me: Out!!

The Boyfriendtop it it's only a movie and you are gonna get bent like this?

Me: Ok that does it out or you are gonna get removed..i sat through all those stupid hockey games with you which ended up being longer than the stupid actual season and you won't take me to a movie the one time no make that the 10th time i have asked and never have gotten to one yet? you bet your franks and beans on this MR..you get out now! Or we see kung fu panda when there is a game on next time..

the Temp Ex boyfriend:*See's he has pushed too far and turns on the i'm sorry mode*
The very next game we are going to see Kungfu panda and anything else you want to do..i'm sorry sweetness..what time are the movies for saturday?

Me: Your the one who needs to tell me that MR..*storms into the kitchen*

thats my version of sub to dome dome to sub lol

and Kung fu panda was omg such a good movie!!!
and he liked it too lol

Giggling softly...

You ar very silly!