just ignore and let this one die

You have to type it "c*t"

Same here in the US.

Like the man in orthopaedic shoes, I stand corrected.

I think it makes a bit of difference that over here things kind of got started by Puritans and over there are the decendants of the people the Puritans were fleeing.

Speaking of Bond, and euphemisms involving cats, I met Sean Connery on a golf course many years ago. We parted with him bellowing a word which is a taboo euphemism for a cat-related euphemism. It was an amusing little tale.

It sounds like a great story!

My father died in 1991, I haven't been to his grave since. He wanted to be buried in Kentucky. I still fly his flag on Memorial Day, Fourth of July and Veterans Day. Father's Day is a bittersweet day for me as well. Hugs Brenda for your loss, I am sure he appreciates your tribute each year.

"CX" (drying his eyes)

And right back at you. And to all our Father's. I know if mine was watching yesterday he was saying.."Hey! Where you going with the rest of those beers?"

Any man can be a father, but not all are Dads.

Ooh!!! Had a sale in OnRez

Found the reports section and could see what the customer bought- but is there a way to know who actually bought it? I would love to be able to send the buyer my traditional thank you gift.

And yes- the money just accumulates in your total.

Oh it is. And as you commented, I shall now tell.

Nearly 20 years ago, the New Course, St Andrews.

Herzog has just played his tee shot on a particularly testy par-5, which, on every previous occasion, has utterly defeated him, left him in a foul temper and caused his entire game to unravel like...like an unravelled thing.

This time it's different. The ball nestles on the fairway in position A. It's a confident Herzog who strides jauntily down the fairway in the manner of a puss...er CAT who got the cream.

My playing partner, having duffed his tee shot, is first to play, and an acceptable iron shot is rewarded with a decent lie further down the fairway. Herzog, meanwhile, surveys his next shot. It's a par 5, but reachable in two, at a push. Trouble is, push generally came to shove every time he played this bloody hole. The green is encircled by a reasonably tall ridge, thick with rough, with a narrow opening at the front. A well hit 4 iron should do it.

Just as Herzog prepares to swing, a golf ball crashes off his bag, but a few feet away. What bounder has eschewed golfing etiquette and not shouted "fore"? Enraged (OK, mildly pissed off), Herzog turns to confront the figure striding towards him. But what's this? It's Sean Connery - James Bond 007, Indiana Jones's dad, man with camp moustache and terry towling orange loincloth from Zarzazz, living legend, Scottish Nationalist (albeit dodging tax in the Bahamas) and golf fanatic. And playing a hole sharing the same fairway.

Connery: Shorry about that, shun
Herzog: Um.. er... umm that's quite alright, please, don't worry about it

Now the dilemma. Herzog's ball is a couple of feet from Connery's. Who plays first? Connery, naturally, has a suggestion.

Connery: You play your shot firsht, shun

Crap. Here is Herzog, trying to make a decent fist of this detested golf hole for the first time ever, and he has to do it with James Bond standing next to him, scrutinising his swing with a practised eye.

4 iron. Good contact. The ball sails inexorably towards the green, carries the treacherous ridge and drops gracefully onto the centre of the putting surface. A career shot...

Connery: Thatsh a great shot, shun
Herzog: (suppressing the primal urge to dance around like a lunatic) Thanks!

Now the roles are reversed. Connery selects a fairway wood and carefully lines up his shot, Herzog watching in barely concealed awe.

He swings. He completely shanks the ball, which sails off 100 yards at right angles, before disappearing into a gorse bush. There is a moment's silence, which feels like 10 minutes, before a bellowing cry is unleashed

Connery: Ach! Ya (TABOO EUPHEMISM FOR CAT RELATED AND US/UK APPROVED EUPHEMISM)!!

Herzog missed his eagle putt through giggling, but nabbed the birdie. And played like an utter tit for the rest of his round.

Priceless!

Max- I haven't the faintest notion what I just read since I know nothing at all about the game of golf. However- your telling of it was magnificent. Thank you for taking us along.

LOL Max. James Bond can say anything he damn well pleases.

My dad flew one of these in Vietnam.



He pretty much thought anyone in the Navy was a "Sissy Prettyboy" no matter what sort of boat they sailed.

Actually - funny story. The plane is an OV1 Mohawk, which was around for Korea and Vietnam, but then just disappeared. It's hard to get any info on them, but my dad loved them so much that one year for his birthday I wrote an email to Northrop Grumman asking for a little info on the plane and maybe some sources for info. I explained how much my dad loved the plane and how he had flown them for two tours of duty out of Tonsonut (sp?).

Two weeks later I got a LARGE box in the mail. There was a letter to my dad from the CEO of the company thanking him for his service and reams of info and photos from their museum. The photos were all old, glossy B&W's from various locations in Vietnam - photos with all the armaments laid out, all the various configurations, in-flight, etc. There were full schematics on the planes, patches from the various air groups that had flown them, and just beautiful scetches and artists renditions. I was blown away. I had a bunch of the photos framed. It's one of the few times I saw my dad tear up. I've always been very thankful to them for that. I think they are a division of Boeing now (they might have been then as well). They really made a difference in the life of one veteran.

Goddamn! It just occurred to me what my first serious project in SL is going to be. I've been goofing around building aircraft. Why hasn't it occurred to me to take a shot at a Mohawk!!?? It's a fairly simple design. The nose looks the hardest, but I should be able to pull it off. I even know where I can bum a little space to build it so I don't have to get griefed in a public sandbox!

What a sweet story Trout

Max, I know just enough about golf to have thoroughly enjoyed that story. Even if I didn't, the way you told it was fantastic! Thanks!

Great story Trout! My father served on a ship that did oceanographic surveys in the Atlantic during Korea. I believe the ship was original a Mine Tender during WWII.

Until I saw the props I thought it was an A-10 Warthog.

I met a Warthog Mechainic, we were playing an online game together (text based pre-internet) when the game moderator held a Mongolian BBQ at a local resturant.

He explained that A-10s were so slow they didn't have a clock they carried a calendar.

Since then every VW I owned had a calendar some where in the car.

Great story Mr. "The Trout".

"CX"

The A-10 is one of those planes the Air Force Brass hate but the pilots and the ground troops they protect love.

I think the A-10 shares a lot in common with the Mohawk. The Mohawk might have been slower, lol. It was mostly an observation plane than the A-10. They spent more time taking pictures than they did blowing things up, but when the need arose, they had plenty of firepower to make a mess of the countryside. My dad crashed one and got a purple heart, then landed one that was in flames and barely able to fly - essentially, he crashed it on the runway. They ordered him to ditch it, but his co-pilot was unconscious in the seat next to him, so he had a "radio failure" and "didn't hear" the order to ditch the plane. The co-pilot ended up surviving.

Hey, what happened to the shoes? I thought we were talking about shopping!

Guys... always talking about their toys....
(umm, that was a quip about the HUGE pics, not the father stories. Happy belated Father's Day to all dads)

Oh wow trout that is just lovely to hear how much your father was appreciated

Now I am all teared up.
My dad was an 82nd Airborne Ranger many many jumps under his belt, got hurt saving the Publeo during Nam if I have the boat right. Was paralyzed for 6mo and spent 1yr in a VA hospital. Hes okay now but man what war does to kind souls. wow that was a bit of an over share. Just reminded me Trout