Would you take back your "ex?"

You could always just take small pieces as a memento and mount them in a shadow box where you could admire them forever.

I HAVE MISSED YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

*runs and hugs you tight!*

WILLOW!!!!! Let's go get him girl Yes I need sum good luvin....

ummm no comment ? lol

I think there is one ex I considered taking back, but thats because the realtionship sort of ended when she vanished, came back for a day and vanished again. That realtionship might have deserved a chance, but i think I was wiser in just letting it go. I think if a relationship fails, in genreal it means that it was not meant to be, and its not likely that the problems that caused its downfall are really going to be resolved-it takes a lot to get me to the break up point.

In general, I mistrust all online relationships because on the whole they seem to happen way to fast for me. I mean its like people go from metting to maried in three weeks, and the break up a while later. For me ther eis an exploration period with any relationship. IRL or in SL. Of course the flipside is that my emotinal evasiveness has me sort of labelled a "player." And maybe thats true because I am so willing to bump pixels befreo I am willing to put a name in the parnter box.

That is such an interesting comment actually. What is cheating in SL? If an SL partnered person fools around on the sly with another SL member, then I consider that cheating. But what if that same SL partnered person had a "real life" date? Are they cheating on their SL partner?

I bet many would say no, that the "virtual" relationship is not as real. not as valid, does not count, so it is quite ok to put that parner on hold while you date someone else IRL.

But, is the inverse true? What if a person partnered in real life, whether married or not, "dates" someone in SL? Are they cheating on the real life partner?

I have encountered hypocrytical opinions where one may claim RL date is not cheating on a SL partner, but SL date is cheating on a RL partner.

OK, which is it? What is this cheating in SL/RL all about anyway? If I dream the fantasies I enact in SL, is that cheating, or must I actually enact them.

I can dance in my lingerie in SL but that doesnt make me Madonna...or does it? How real are we?

Jake you have a good point --

I have a friend who "eloped" in SL a day after meeting a guy .. they divorced 2 days later.

I know many other people who are "in love" after a single nights talking / etc.

Many others who basically project so many things they want in their online partners that they think they are "perfect" right away, then when they relize they were merely human are sadly disappointed and its over soon after.

I think in online relationships , and anythign else online, you have to force yourself to look at things with a time perspective. Many people rush everything, Business, Romance, relationships, break ups.

Becuase they want everything to happen NOW.

People need to stop and smell the roses. they also need to think a little about whats good and whats potentially bad about online dating and keep that in mind.

Or to put things more simply .. you need to get to know the person you date, And that takes time.

---------------
The ex id take back is a real life one.

None of my Online Ex's are welcome back.

Kati I think to me cheating is any violation of shared expectations. I mean if your partner thinks of its ok, then its not cheating. But by the same token if your partner expects that you will not be bumping pixels with other people, and you know this, then it is cheating. If you don't know your partners position on pixel bumping, I would suggest you find out before you do bump pixels or the results could be-dramatic.

I don't think dancing around in your SL underwear makes you madonna, but at the other end of any relationship is a person, and therefore there is a dose of emotional reality in SL relationships. Of course what that does is is really up to the people in the relationship.

For what it's worth, my two cents:

First cent: There are people in SL who make a career out of breaking up with someone and then taking them back. Over and over. So it seems to be part of the fantasy; some people like to break up and make up. I've only known one person who did this sort of thing and was genuine about her motives - genuine as in not doing it for the "stimulating" drama. Her I have genuine sympathy for.

Second cent: From what I've witnessed, in SL and elsewhere, very few people can separate fantasy from reality. What begins in SL almost always has RL implications and is, by definition, an RL relationship. I suspect that anyone who thinks differently is either, well, fantasizing, or has a semi-sociopathic take on human relationships. Sorry to offend, but everything I've witnessed indicates this, and my standard is the amount of pain a relationship inflicts on people I've cared about as friends. A lot of good people have thought that "compartmentalization" could succeed, and have been crushed or made to look foolish.

So an online "romance" is similar in implications if not the same as the RL variant.

I am not speaking, btw, about online friendships.

This issue I have discussed with everyone Ive ever dated online.

I encourage them to look for RL love. Even give advice if I have any that will help.

Unless you have serious plans to visit and date your SL love in real life - I dont see how you could realistically not support them in efforts to find someone that lives near them.

Be realistic about things , Most online relationships end. People know that going in.

They will either end or the couple moves in together.

So if its going to End .. what better way then for the person you care about to find a RL love?

Enjoy the time you have with that special person online. Make it count while it lasts. Dont regret things when they end well.

Well said collette. I think in the internet we have a poweful means of communication. I have no doubt there is a level of intimacy created simply because online relationships are all about communication. But really much of who a person is, goes unsaid as they put thier best foot forward. And even online it can take some time to establish a comfort zone where you are really willing to confide in you partner. I mean what makes a relationship is when you can find all the things you don't like about the person you are in love with, and accept them for who they are anyway.

its like I need somone who will love me inspite of the fact that I can sometimes slip onto the soapbox of an arrogant dumbass, and not just because I am and all around sweet guy. Its like I need someone strong enought to not only kick the damned high horse from under my feet, but strong enought to catch me when I fall, and remind me she loves me inspite of myself. this sort of trust takes time to build. I love that the internet is a powerful way of communitcating... in essecence in SL we are forced to talk. But relationships are still built.

Exactly why I had to let go of Fred, to give him that chance in RL, he just couldn't wait for me to be in the US in RL, and understandably so, still doesn't stop the pain tho

and GET BILLY!

So did I.

So... no.

I can't be friends with exes. I don't know. I can't. As Leck said, you never return to the scene of the crime

I have broken up and gotten back together with people but ... the relationship always seemed fragile after that.

** I'm not talking about online relationships ...

As far as my ex-wife goes, not just no, but HELL NO!! Neither her or that Lovecraftian thing I called a mother-in-law.

On the other hand, there's one old girlfriend ... Rachelle ... I can close my eyes and still see her, but as the song says;

The FBI refers to that as evidence....I'd like to keep them close but hidden

Wel talen buried in the basement is a good idea, just not too many of them or the place will stink. I find not more than six to be a good number lol

Move a lot then, Jake?

No.

They make this stuff called lime.......you can stack em 8 deep as long as you have a foot of lime between them and no smell....besides you never want to bury them in your basement....it's the first place they look and they can easily spot new concrete....the best place is in your neighbors yard...that way they are close but if discovered your neighbor takes the fall

I don't move a lot, I don;t have that many exes. and breaking up is hard to do! lol

*me hugzzzz my wheeloo tight* I have missed you too sweetie! I am here now... everything will be ok. *wipes away your tears*

I like the way this girl thinks... hehe

And you KNOW that Billy Love is the best! *winks*

Awww such a sweetie, I am SO proud to call you my friend *rests my head on your shoulder*

*Feels all warm and fuzzy inside now*

I feel the same way. *runs my fingers through your hair*

You are such a special person and a special friend. I am sorry that you are hurting. Everything will be ok.