Question for the girls.......

Interesting set of views here.

I don't exactly have the same set of attitudes about sex in SL as in RL. After all, I've been married to the Resident Geek for, well, a long time now, and I wouldn't dream of cheating on him in RL.

SL is another matter...and "pixel sex" (really, as several have said, it ought to be "text sex" can be emotionally very powerful and physically satisfying.

I've been known to take the occasional newbie by the hand and show him or her How It's Done Here. But for the most part I have the same sort of standards for an SL cyber-partner as for a (hypothetical) RL one: Is he well spoken and witty? Is he considerate? Does he have a certain charm and indirectness about his approach?

And since entering into my current SL partnership, I find that I am a lot less interested in, er, other arrangements. I mean, really...there are only so many hours in a day, and I still have to reserve time for shopping.

exactly.


especially when your SL partner is your RL spouse...

I remember someone who verbally caused some drama and left a Q&A group I'm a member of over the weekend. He was a new resident and the group was having a discussion about alternative clients because most started complaining about the borkiness that is 1.23.4. (^_^)

Eventually, he chimed in and told the whole group (About 700 online members at the time) the he's leaving the group because he's sick of hearing about people asking for sex. I, and a few others, scrolled back for an hour's worth of chat and couldn't find a single mention of the word "sex" in the chat. (=_=)

People get what they look for around here. If you come in to SL trying to find things wrong with other people, you will find tons of people with problems. (=_=)

Another thing I noticed. Maybe it's just the places I go. But, I've seen that my chances of getting a naughty IM is inversely proportional to how naughty I'm dressed. I mean... I've TPed in wearing a full school girl sailor suit and had people hop on me in a split second. Then, I show up in short-short cutoffs and tape "X" pasties and people would sooner talk to me about graphics cards. How much forbidden-fruit-ism is going on here? (O.o)

=^-^=

It may well be in my expectations. I came into Second Life to play out an alternate reality of sorts. Maybe it's because I simply don't find pixel sex all that stimulating; or maybe it's because the first guy I slept with in SL was just so bad at it; or maybe it's because I have a RL husband who takes care of all my needs in that area... I dunno. All I know is, it just doesn't do anything for me.

UGH. Design work on spec is loathsome.

/derail

I pretty much only get approached for sex when I'm in sex-related areas--and not always there, either, boo hoo--so it hasn't been a problem for me. Lately I've been getting some cold calls, IMs out of the blue from folks I've never seen or met, with whom I have groups in common, one presumes. For whatever reason, those creep me out, so I've put a line in my profile discouraging it; it seems to be working so far.

Wish I'd known about that. Would love to read about it - link, please?

Various other thread topics:

30 days locked on Newbie Island? Insanity. If you want better-SLeducated noobs, implement some funny videos or something. I'm picturing something like the old army training filmstrips - or the old duck and cover filmstrips - dangers of being a noob. What to look out for. It could be hilarious. People remember 'funny.'



Ooh, burn. (Passive aggressive, but, burn.)

PS,



?? (Where was hubby that day?) ??

How I feel about getting hit on depends on where I am.

If I'm in a sex club, I expect to be approached for sex, sometimes seek it myself, and am disappointed if I don't get any.

If I'm in a regular club just dancing and/or hanging out, I can handle (or make) the type of pass one might receive in a RL dance club or bar after talking for awhile.

If I'm shopping, building, or learning something, I'm appalled that people think their little fantasies should be more important to me than whatever I'm doing.

And of course, anywhere outside of forceplay sites, I expect no to mean no in either life.

I have only once been randomly asked for sex in SL.. mute.

Not that I keep SL PG.... I'm just NOT here for sex with random strangers. Plenty of escorts for people wanting that...

I have never asked another avatar for random sex either, well once I was at bits & bobs and I wanted to know what lovescene II did... does that count?

Well you don't think all those costume shops only make money on halloween, do ya?
lmao

I remember getting swarmed while wearing surgical scrubs of all things
It seems any outfit that conveys an image of sorts is far more likely to get IM's flying at ya than stuff from any of those RL style knockoff shops.

LOL well that would depend on the guy. Hasn't occurred to me though. Keep trying.

Those kind of questions you usually get at the noob areas. Usually I ask them back if they have any idea about the rates of such "services" and how they would be able to pay without payment info. Then I explain that most girls who are into sex aren't girls at all but guys in disguise out there to rip them off. Hehe.

The best conversation I had with a noob went like this.

Noob: Do you do sex for money?
Me: No.
Noob: Awesome, so you do it for free?!

That made my mentor day.

In my past SLife, I would go to dance places or events looking to meet people. The majority of the time I was the one making passes. I'm sure it would have been different if I hung out a free sex zones but while I may be easy I do have standards.

Now ... so far there has only been one man even make a serious pass at me. I don't go looking, I have a partner listed in my profile and usually wear my group title "Clover's Mistress." I am sure that has a lot to do with not being bothered.

Oh gosh, worst place in SL to go as an unescorted female av. Why do the solo male avs go there, anyway? Revenge for RL clubs?

Try going nekkid to a popular free sex place once...
Guarantee you'll look at those clubs as a safe zone after that

Last time I did that I wound up teaching a guy about the building and scripting potential of SL, gave him some links to get Blender and Domino's Python scripts, gave him LMs to grab some good free stuff, and got him into the idea of low-prim furniture making... All the while, completely topless... (.Y.)

I don't know... (O.o)

Maybe I'm just cursed that way. (=_=)

( I reeeeealy wish I were telling a lie right now (T_T) )

=^-^=

Do topless mentors increase the retention rate? News at 11.

I have a House Call nurse outfit, that I combine with an AV sized needle, and yeah...
- themed outfits work wonders.

Also got a cowgirl outfit that has chaps - which is handy as you can keep it on while 'actively engaged.'

Hmmm... actually my entire inventory is one wild costume after the next...

I got naked to dance clubs and sex clubs... What's the problem?
- sometimes, I get hit on, sometimes I don't.

Not sure why anyone would be afraid to go unescorted to just a dance club though. Unless you're in your kinky nurse mini, I'm going to outglam you anyway, and they'll be on me.
- In RL, maybe, if you're worried about getting followed out of the club. But in SL, you've got a TP button and a mute option - so even a worst case situation can be easily gotten out of.

EDITED for TMI.
Suffice to say - sometimes you can be very blunt in trolling for guys, and still not catch any. A more playful approach works better with them, just as it does when trolling for other women.

Pretty much regardless where I am my response is the same. If they specifically address me in open chat with some sexual comment or proposition I'll ignore them. If they persist I make an equally rude comment back and go about my business. If they send me an IM I just "mute" their dumb buttock. This use to happen a lot back 2 + years ago but seldom happens now thank goodness (maybe because my Mute list is very long now).

For some reason regardless of RL or SL, when this happens I feel threatened and become angry. There is a huge difference between “Hello” and a proposition in my mind. Certainly I know most strange men who say “Hello” to me in RL or SL are interested in more than just passing the time of day. I don’t engage them in conversation in RL unless my husband is there to protect me if things start heading in the wrong direction. Since I have the “Exit” button in SL I don’t really need him around for protection in SL.

What really makes me angry though is when some twit starts clicking on attachments, male or female. Yes I keep everything “muted” and keys put away but it still upsets me more than a comment in chat or even an unsolicited IM.

Wow...

You actually believe that?

Some yes, but most are probably just starting an innocent conversation. But, if you assume the worst in life, you will get it.


I protect and speak for myself, but then, I don't like being subordinate to anyone.



I right click on people's attachments all the time. I want to know where to get that hair, or that dress, or whatever.
- And I don't wear things like my xcite parts unless I -want- them clicked on in that way...

Never talked about fear, or being hit on.

I was replying to someone's post where they said they went to the dance clubs and were never asked to dance. If you've been to those ballroom dance places, you will see tons of female avs just standing waiting to be asked to dance. And men ignoring them.

I was talking more, there, about NOT being hit on. Although I don't really mean hit on. Just asked to dance. I stopped going to those places, because just standing there is boring as heck. Yes I asked one to dance myself once or twice. First thing they tried to do was find out RL info. So those places became pretty useless. Too bad since I have so many lovely gowns.

My joke was about men asking women to dance in RL clubs and being turned down. So I was joking that maybe they ignore women in SL dance places for revenge.

Really long explanation for a not so funny joke. But I didn't want anyone thinking I'm afraid to go dancing in SL. Hardly.

I think I've just become totally boring lately.

This is it for me. I make people yawn, literally.

When i do this i get told i look too intimidating.

When I first came to sl I hit on guys they hit on me and we engaged in some very enlightening random acts. . Then for some reason I got bored with it and focused my attention on other aspects of sl.

Since being married and wearing the "Mrs. Writer" tag I don't get hit on at all. In fact, come to think of it, I don't get hit on when I don't wear it. LOL. But what I find interesting is Will gets hit on with his "Sable's Hubby" tag on. In some instances, women will go as far as jumping on the dance pose ball while Will is waiting for me to arrive (yes, I need to organize my inventory). Or, they just do it as I'm walking towards him.

I think women are just as bad as men if not worse in some instances. As far as pixel sex goes, after you have been with your sl partner irl, it can change the dynamics of it.

Don't mean to derail the thread, but I'm interested in comments from other sl couples that crossed over irl and it changed things for them.

yup, SL has been borderline PG since we moved in together in RL.