Question for the girls.......

I know many of the guys are in world for the sex stuff, but i was wondering, for the girls, how seriously do you take these issues in SL? If you are approached by a guy, would you be willing to 'do' anything with him, do you have different reactions as you would in RL or do you keep the same etiquettes?

This is out of my own experience, as i feel kinda strange when ppl approach me here...feels strange no matter how i react to them......haha........

Sorry if i am too direct about this, or if i am not supposed to post such topics here, i could easily remove it and try to find some zindra forum to post it on

The topic is perfectly fine here

The topic has a bit of prejudice though.. I wouldn't classify all men that way.

My SL has been pretty PG for the past 5 years, and that's the way I like it.

Normally I laugh......IRL or SL. It's not all that common IRL for a stranger to just walk up to someone and randomly ask for sex. Not sure why people think it's different here....except they assume because they are anonymous that anything goes. I don't take offense.....but it's just not a part of SL that intrigues me any longer. I had a bit of morbid curiosity early on....when EVERYthing about SL was so new and interesting to me......but anything to do with sexual behavior quickly became pretty silly and mundane (to me).

I don't know that my stance is a gender issue.....I know plenty of men in SL who have the same reaction. They simply are not interested in SL for pixel sex. Everyone has their own agenda here....I suppose the sex fiends ultimately find each other though.

I dont class myself as a *sex fiend* but..yes I always have a healthy curiosity in the opposite sex...sex equip...animations etc..however, i do find that when im busy with the resorts, or creating...its not primary interest/past time.

I dont like being approached by males and asked for sex straight away ...thats just bizarre & impolite...i expect to be treated pretty much as Iam in r/l...maybe im the bizarre one in that regard lol

You know I've only been approached that way when I was in the Welcome Areas way back when I first started. I usually smart mouthed something back..........but that's me. I was a stripper for a couple years and even in that venue I was seldom randomly approached for sex. Only after several hours of polite (but sexy) chit chat that most men ever broached the subject. There were exceptions, but generally the men I've met in SL have been very polite and only after getting a little better aquainted did they feel it was safe to ask for sex.

Since I quit dancing I've yet to be approached for sex by someone I do not know. Heck the old sex partners that I still know don't even mention it.

I'd say that random sex stuff is way over blown....it just does not happen very much at all. And when it does, it's almost always someone when a born date of less than a week.

umm usually I tell them off umm once in front of my husband and well we wont go there.

Bec

I crack up ant the ones who hit on you and make out your the best AV they have seen but you heard them saying the same thing to the girl next to you.
I for one am not in SL for sex, and the short worded requests are a joke.
It is also amusing how when you turn down their request they suddenly attack you calling you a hooker or the s word. I do point out to these guys if i was either of those things then i would of taken them up on their offer.

I make it clear in my profile I am not looking for sex but even those who bother to read it will try to get me to change my mind. NOT happening. If i am in a place with sex in the name I get a lecture about if I am there I must be dying for it, wrong I am shopping. If it was not for the shops the sex areas would not be free and the best shops seem to be in sex areas .


Guys and the odd few women ( or men playing women) dont assume your gods gift to cyber sex. No means no and you will not get me more excited than I ever have been in my life, I thinki know what i like you dont.

I don't understand guys that do such things. I wouldn't dare to do that in real life, and feel just the same about that in second life.

I have the same values in both worlds.

Now, I know this question was for the ladies, but believe it or not, I get approached just as often by women for this. As my girlfriend is by men.

Did someone say prude?

I don't like being disrespected or treated like a whore*.

Pretty much says it, doesn't it?

*I might turn the tables on them, though, if they are lucky. Very lucky. LOL

SL is a place to explore outside of your comfort zone.

Sure Bree but the roleplay should be consensual. Creepiness is creepiness, in any setting.



Just plain rude - especially on a sim marked for other uses. There's no getting around the fact that it is a real person on the other end.

Landmark to where you hang out please.

Oh wait -- I'm a dog. Never mind.

Good topic. Whether or not I would "do" something with someone depends on a bunch of things, most are akin to things I like in RL. Good looking, attitude, personality, sense of humor, sense of style, etc.. All of that plays into whether or not I would.. as well as a few independant things like RL time of day, and whether or not there's people in the house. I'm very picky, so that pretty much explains why I rarely have.. umm.. "company".
I personally don't mind the blunt approach as long as it's not too rude or crude, but whether that has a chance or not still goes back to the criteria I look for. I also do actively weed out people who I think want to swap RL photos/voice/webcam, and those who I think would probably over-emote me into sheer boredom. Immersive middle ground is where I'm based, and that's the approach I respond to.

I dunno. I'm male, but see it as rude. I wouldn't treat anyone that way.

Guys that do that pretty much look like dumbasses anyway, and get ridiculed and looked down on by other men that have more sense.

(hitting on random girls at inappropriate times that is.)

Hmm.. my reactions are different in SL from RL, but the end results are the same.

I mean, I wish I could turn into a huge green-scaled redheaded dragon in RL!

Guys hitting on me in RL creep me out. SL, it creeps me out a lot less, mostly because I have so many more options to remove the object of desire from their view.

I am the same person in SL as RL including the same etiquette standards and mores.

about the same as I react IRL

"I'm sure you're a nice person, but I'm not looking right now. (and pixel sex bores me to tears)"

(works for any gender on random pickups)

I strongly agree with this.

Sometimes, yes. I have even gone into some of those Free Sex clubs and put myself on a poseball.

The motivation is different though. I happen to find sex and the visuals of it to be hilariously funny. I lost my virginity giggling, and used to have trouble controlling my giggles during the act.

I find SL erotica and sexual expression to be fun, playful, and humorous. I've just been told the other day that this is what the furry's word 'yiff' stands for: seeing sex as light hearted play, rather than something intensely physical or emotional.

This isn't always my mood though. Very often I turn down offers - simply because I'm having my fun (or responsible time) elsewhere. That said, I've yet to find a situation where I took offense at an offer. And usually I turn them down with regret. But I have found a few males that I simply didn't want to deal with at all - something in how they came across textually or even visually (I don't like tough guys / alpha types - I spent too many years in childhood getting beat by one; and physically powerful looking males actually trigger a fear reaction in me, even in SL).


Now, in RL my reaction is very different. Quite simply, there are costs to sex in RL, plus I actually am in a long term relationship. I can't just bounce on top of everybody I can catch or get caught by - though I can fantasize about it: and that's what SL does for me.

Sometimes, yes. I have even gone into some of those Free Sex clubs and put myself on a poseball.

The motivation is different though. I happen to find sex and the visuals of it to be hilariously funny. I lost my virginity giggling, and used to have trouble controlling my giggles during the act.

I find SL erotica and sexual expression to be fun, playful, and humorous. I've just been told the other day that this is what the furry's word 'yiff' stands for: seeing sex as light hearted play, rather than something intensely physical or emotional (and here I always thought yiff was something weird and possibly illegal involving animals...).

This isn't always my mood though. Very often I turn down offers - simply because I'm having my fun (or responsible time) elsewhere. That said, I've yet to find a situation where I took offense at an offer. And usually I turn them down with regret. But I have found a few males that I simply didn't want to deal with at all - something in how they came across textually or even visually (I don't like tough guys / alpha types - I spent too many years in childhood getting beat by one; and physically powerful looking males actually trigger a fear reaction in me, even in SL).


Now, in RL my reaction is very different. Quite simply, there are costs to sex in RL, plus I actually am in a long term relationship. I can't just bounce on top of everybody I can catch or get caught by - though I can fantasize about it: and that's what SL does for me.

Oh, to add:

I put it in my profile that I'm ok about people approaching me over sex. In fact, my profile pretty much demands it in as non-explicit terms I could come up with.

If I didn't have that in my profile, I would consider it improper to be approached. And if I had a profile that said not to, I would consider it not just improper, but rude.

- Please read people's profiles, and, if you're hanging out in areas where some people there might be looking to do things beyond your comfort zone, put your own limits in your profile.

That pretty much means, if you're ever in a dance club, fight club, BDSM club, sex club, meetup club, or anywhere on zindra - you better have something about sex in your profile. Either inviting or asking to be left alone on that topic. Just make it easier for other people to treat you the way you want to be treated - SL doesn't have body language.

(fight club? Yeah - after going to a few over the past few days... it seems to have that dimension to it. At least the fem v fem and fem v male ones).

"Wait for me a minute while I put the Grandkids to bed" works well too.

Hope springs eternal

I am sure this is a total coincidence, but that is the tag for one of my groups