Question for the girls.......

It goes both ways. I get hit on all the time, despite the fact that my business is named after my SL Girlfriend (who is also a RL long-distance relationship). Granted, she gets hit on more than I do, but she's a lot hotter than I am. lol What really cracks me up is when I get done rejecting someone, she'll find her IMs suddenly get lit up by that same person I just sent off. They seem to just work their way down a list.

One of the major difficulties of cyberculture -- be it in an online world, or forums like this, or anyplace you can interact with others on the web -- it can be easy to forget that there are real people sitting at the other computers. People come to SL to explore certain fantasies (sexual or otherwise) and the general selfishness of most people tends to cloud this notion to them. They walk around in a world full of constructs. They assume that everyone in the game is here for the same reason they are -- because the things that interest them are the only things worth being interested in. (Well, that's a bit extreme, but... on a psychological level, it's not far off base).

People don't behave well in SL for many reasons. Part of it is the anonymity afforded. But another part of it is just selfishness -- as far as many people are concerned, they are the only "real person" in the room. Everyone else is just a bunch of avatars.

Sad, but true.

It's an occupational hazard with me, so I tend to take unwanted advances with stride. I usually respond with something along the lines of, "Well, sure, but I don't know what my husband would think of this... Let me go ask him." That tends to change their minds real quick. Still, I have to wonder what the hell guys are thinking when they just walk right up to a girl and ask for sex... I mean, do they think that's the only reason we're here?

To be quite honest, SL sex is way overrated in my opinion. It does nothing for me. There have been times where I left the guy in control of the pose balls while I went to go take care of the dishes. Seriously!

yep.


look at it this way:


every time there's something in the mainstream press about SL, its either about sex, or about relationships and sex.
Now, we have this more or less constant stream of newbies coming in, lured by that.
A given percentage of them has been tainted by playing Sims and such... So they think (is there a word for "think" that means "not actually thinking"?) that
1. they are the only actual human being in here
2. having as many sexual encounters / relationships as possible in a given time is the "goal" of this "game", and will get them "experience points" or somesuch.


---> LL should put disclaimers about the actual "content" of SL on noobie island, AND make a 4 week stay on noob island MANDATORY.
and i'm not talking about "you can't leave noob island until the 30th day after your rez day"... I'm more of a "you have to be logged in and NOT afk/busy on at least 30 different days after your rez day, and for more than 30 minutes per day" person.

Yes, i am aware that that would totally trap some people on newbie island.
Good for them, better for us.

While I never forget or disrespect the fact that there's a person behind the avatar, my main reason for being here (apart from building and learning new stuff) is to roleplay a wide variety of experiences I might not otherwise have or want in FL. If the people I meet are like-minded, then there's very little I won't explore at least once.

I'm not even remotely offended by someone walking up and asking for sex - it's hardly threatening in a virtual environment, and I might just say 'yes' if I'm feeling playful. In the right mood, I'll be the one doing the asking! Then again, I'm not easily fazed (and am very broadminded) in FL.

Creepiness? Can't say I've come across a lot of it, but then I don't look at SL that way - that's to say, I don't expect the same rules to apply as in FL. For me, it's a fantasy world to play in, and although I've had FL contact with some of the people I've met here, I loathe the idea of SL as a FL social networking site.

Nevertheless, I know many people don't seek that kind of distinction between a 'real' and a 'fantasy' life, which is also fine, and is the reason I think it's so important that SL remains a place where we can all 'live and let live'.

Sl is not a place to explore outside ones comfort zone if one does not want to, its what you want it to be.
Guys walking about naked or with their bits hanging out their pants is not a turn on and as someone said about their profile well i clearly state in mine im not looking of it.
The few that bother to read it most try to see if i was being honest or see if they can make me change my mind. None of it has anything to do with my comfort zone

any part of land that has noobs with freenises hanging out of their pants wandering about on a regular basis should also have damage enabled. 'nuff said.

I think I'd give him a LM to Zindra and tell him to search for "Escort Services".

I suppose I should now give a notcard about being verified as an "adult" as well.

Ah me! There is allways something more to do in SL.

Sorry, Lance...but that's about the silliest statement ever made in this forum! I'd still be there, for gods sake, or just getting out. More on the sex topic later.

To confess, sometimes early in the morning, when I'm in a good mood my female av will go to a free sex club and seek out some normal looking male av who isn't walking around preceded by his "equipment" and gently introduce him to cybersex. On occasion this will end up on a pair of poseballs. She is frequently confronted by males who lead with the pickup line, "Lets F**k", and the response is "Let's Not", usually followed by the response, "Your loss".

Obviously my male av is an absolute gentleman at all times.

It's not overrated. Read what you just wrote. You're not putting in any effort so why would you expect it to be fun/interesting?

Yer doin it rong!

I'm being a bit facile - SL sex isn't for everyone - but at its best SL sex is a powerful exchange of ideas, a shared verbal fantasy. Yes, that's right, verbal - the poseballs provide the scene, maybe inspiration for the words you choose, but they're not the focus. After all, as you note, how interesting is watching cartoons in repetitive and not-terribly-realistic motion?

Well, that's my thinking anyhow. Some folks maybe can get off on the cartoons alone, and don't need to spin the fantasy in words - I hope I don't end up in bed with any of 'em.

On the OP topic - I never get hit on all that much, in either of my avatars, so it's not a question I've had to deal with much. I don't think either of my avatars is a hideous troll but apparently the folks who scour the grid looking for avatars to ask for "fuk nao" think they are. I've never accepted a spur-of-the-moment offer but I can count on one hand the times I've received them. When I have, I've just said "er, no," and that was the end of it.

Aww, Katheryne...sex in SL (in my opinion) is like an interactive dream where you do anything that you desire to bring pleasure to your partner and she does the same in return. The best sex can be just two av's all wrapped up together in a cuddle on a rug with soft music playing in the background, using local chat. You don't need the mechanicals assists! I'm sorry you haven't had this experience yet, but maybe you will (unless your husband intervenes) in the future. Best of luck.

Eli and Madhu are right. It isn't for everyone, but if you are going to do it, if you are relying on the poseballs alone, you aren't going to get much from it. It's about the narrative, that's where the interaction, and action is. It is a form of roleplay, even for those who are having more personal relationships in SL, you are roleplaying to an extent whether you realize it or not.

You know they have retention problems, yes? Getting people to stay beyond some set time period (first log in, a week, a month, I do not recall that set time period).

I didn't even stay five minutes on "noob island", and if it had been mandatory to stay there for 30 logged in, non-afk days, I'd never have returned after about five minutes on noob island.

30 Days on OI? Funk that! That's like a quarantine on Ellis Island. I don't care how much they improve it, I would have been long gone if there was a set time. I spent about 4 hours over 2 days, then I just wanted to see what it was like out there.

and letting newbies loose on the main grid without the most basic of information will improve retention?

That's LL's fault. They don't provide the information. But even if they did, it wouldn't take 30 Days. It shouldn't take more than a day or two at most to learn enough to function in world.

Yes. As I already noted, if I had been forced to stay on newbie island for 30 days, I'd never have logged in again. Brenda said same thing. So SL retained at least two people by not having that 30 days on noob island rule.

It won't hurt the current retention rate!

One reason I am generally pro-Zindra. It creates a space where the default presumption can be to more openness and willingness to experiment. And, it also allows to the opposite presumption to apply on mainland.

Having that divide I think will be healthy for the community in the long run. Once all the current implementation flaws are sorted out. There needs to be a space where it is assumed people there are there to get wild and experiment. And there needs to be a space where it is assumed that people there are holding themselves out as their RL persona.

oh if only it were so easy... (too many don't care, and more than enough would drooling in anticipation)

I've not found that "many" is the rule of thumb on that.....might be the places you've been hanging out.

If you post in your profile that you're "not interested in that".....I do think that quite a few will take that as a challenge

NPR this morning had a thing about museums holding contests in SL to get the public to design exhibits, that they then copied into the RL museum after paying out the winners and securing permission. A number of people then spoke about how SL is an ideal space to do design work for making RL communities, or galleries, in a RL world that now, thanks to web 2.0; expects more interaction and control over its media.

There was nothing about sex or relationships.

I wouldn't be here if they had that. I wouldn't be here if it had been even more than 1 hour.

I suspect that holds for 99%+ of people as well.

At the most, run me through a short tutorial mode. Several MMOs make good examples of that - putting you in a starter zone where you have to do some basic taks that by doing cause you to learn the UI, how to succeed, and how to handle the communication interface.

SL is not a game, but that doesn't mean a tutorial for what it actually is cannot be designed.

Tutorial mode in the average 'game' runs about 30-60 minutes. You could get everything a person needed to know to function in SL within that time frame very easily - there's a lot less to learn here than there is for something like an MMO.

thats exactly what introduction island / help island is... with the problem being that you can leave there without paying attention.
the fact that the next place you appear is some random infohub doesn't really help either... why don't they send new people to NCI instead?

Well I'm no girl...

But I'll give my opinion anyway! Frankly yeah I see sex as leight hearted and nothgin too emotionally involveing *thank g** there are no STDs in sl* and I've been hit on purely because of my AV. and sexual play in SL should be done through roleplay... it pisses me off to find somone who belives that poseballs can make up for bad roleplay. I'll ad mit if i really dont feel like doing much... Yeah...I'll pull some R/p noob out of the crowd and consentually force myself upon them and stick with a set of pre rendered posts.. cheating yes... but hey I'm tired and i just want to funk and go home. cause honestly it really isnt worth what people say it is anymore.