Second Life Harrassment of Newbs and Others

Maybe its because I come from the bdsm commuity in RL, because "mind f*ck* or "Gaslighting" is a real problem in our community and is something that must be watched for especialy in a D/s relationship.

Believe me, it is very possible to mind rape someone with such effect that the person is left an emotional mess just as bad as a pysical rape.

Do yourself a favor and google "gaslighting" or "Gaslight" (the effect is named after a 1944 movie in case you are wondering) There has been several psycological text books written on the subject as well. and is a known and recognized condition.

I do acknowledge there are people who are easily manipulated and can easily be controlled by others, but in my opinion the concept of gaslighting, or the old Stockholm Syndrome, is often inappriately used an an excuse for people to not take responsibilty for their actions. I don't say it doesn't happen, just that it's prevalence is exaggerated.

We used to have girls on IRC - a TEXT ONLY medium - accuse someone of raping them.

Ummm....there's an amazing invention on the upper right hand side of the screen called an x. Hitting that stops all rape (and griefing in SL for that matter). Sheesh...drama city.

I wear a big 'ol cast iron chastity belt, that only I have the key to, on my mind, so it's not so easy to f*ck.

I really think there needs to be a balance between opening yourself up in relationships and in letting yourself become overly vulnerable and easily manipulated.

I'm not casting stones at people who have been emotionally hurt by mindgames, and certainly the manipulators are wrong and unkind, but, in my experience, when they meet that someone can't be manipulated, they tend to move on.

I'm just saying that if you have the sense that someone is messing with your head, there's nothing wrong with calling them on it (and ending the relationship if need be)early in the game.

Or, as Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

You guys have strong personalities and I can see you have difficulty with the concepts presented here.... why does the deer just stand there in the middle of the road as the truck barrels down on her?

I bet everytime you see an abused woman story on the 6 o'clock news you just shake your head and say "but why didn't she just leave?" (ie hit the big X)

You are surely not drawing parallels between the notion of a woman escaping/not escaping an abusive relationship and the ability to log out of SL in an instant/remain logged in?

No. I have a huge amount of empathy for women in RL abusive relationships, and tremendous respect for the ones who finally find their way out of them.

Also, a deer has only it's instincts to rely on. It has no rational mind, no forethought to realize, 'Hey, if I just stand here, that car's going to hit me!'

Being trapped in an online only relationship just doesn't seem possible to me. There's no threat of physical harm, the other person has none of your personal info(Unless you're insane).

In a RL abusive situation, there's the threat of more serious harm, many times the threat of harm to children or other family members, financial considerations, sometimes non-supportive law enforcement, and who knows what other mitigating factors that I thank God I've never had to consider.

Online, there's just a keyboard, and your brain, both of which should be within your control.
Very, very different.

I understand where you're coming from, and I'm sure the rest of us here do too... I've met many of the weak-minded types you refer to, inworld at that. It's part of why I haven't really ARed anyone making "requests" of me because I've been able to give them a hell they've never experienced before and often don't want to return to again. (^_^)

The thing is... The off switch for SL is way different than RL. If someone can't have a thick skin to tolerate the way their pixels are treated, regardless with out they relate to those pixels, that someone should SERIOUSLY reconsider what they do with their online time. To compare that to the potential damage that can be caused in a RL situation comes across as belittling the human condition. (=_=)y

Amen to that!

--
Aes

You guys are right, should not have equated RL abuse to SL abuse. its a very different thing.

But I think you would be suprised at how many people would not "hit the X" just because they were told not to...

I'm just happy if I have moved some people from the "It cant happen in SL" to "It cant happen to me in SL" camp.

Actually as more and more of these stories are being thrust at us by the media in the name of sensationalism, I am starting to do just that. I am becoming cynical and jaded as I grow older, but I can only speak for myself. I have a brain, and if I don't use it when I'm in trouble, shame on me. It's not a lack of empathy, some of these stories make me cry terribly, but iIjust don't see anything like that ever happening to me, or most of the people know.

i blame it on typos!! I thought they were rap clubs and i never told a soul until now about my victimization..i walked in and they said so you like rape huh..i said who's the DJ?
then they handed me a drink and i woke up at help island..
oooohhh how i wish i could turn back the clock and pay more attention in English classes..
if i had it all to do over again i think that would be the one thing i would change...

moral to the story is stay awake in school

And on todays episode, people who need to be victims stirring up the drama and expanding definitions to suit their needs....back after this comercial break.


JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY

Jerry my name is kaneesha lateefa billyjean skaminski.
the reason i'm here today Jerry is because one of my mens are cheetin on me CAN YOU BElieve that???!!!
an i wanna see his face when my other three show up..won't he be suprized??

I feel deprived, I’ve been on SL a few months and seen nothing untoward at all, I want to see and AV being ‘pumped up’ not that I know what that means, but it sounds amusing.

The worst thing to happen to me was I let off some fireworks and the script got stuck on my hand and I kept exploding every few seconds………my hair flew off and it took me a few minutes to look at my inventory, type ‘worn’ and figure out where the problem was, that was after I had removed all my clothing. Was extremely amusing for my friend

lol, 3 of my friends were group air-humping a fourth in the middle of Shiny Things weekend before last.

How dare they disrespect a shoe store!! Deviants!!!

It was in the jewelry area.

True about the griefers goal. Some of them anyway. I'd just make the point that IME the sequence of events largely determines what LL does.

When you get attacked and you AR (with piccies) then you defend and get ARed in turn. Whats the likely outcome as far as LL is concerned? Nothing IME. The greifer got what was coming. The order of logged events clearly shows that.

I've never understood how one can put items on another person. Or is it done somehow by just pushing rezzed items really close to the person?

Inquiring minds want to know....please.

you got it in one.

Woot!!!

Nearly correct...

You do rez items and move them into position "on" or near the target avatar. But of course, as soon as they wake up, they'll move and spoil the effect.

Sooo...

Take a picture. Then be sure to send a copy to your target.

And keep a folder of stuff handy to decorate them with. It makes it easier.

BTW - this doesn't fall into the category of griefing, in my opinion. It's just old-fashioned mischief. There's no harm done, no humiliation involved, nothing. I can't believe any reasonable person would be upset by this sort of thing, especially at one certain location that I won't name here where it has evolved into a high artform.

I can think of another... (^_^)