Second Life Harrassment of Newbs and Others

Yes. DON'T these forums any more.

Don't buy anything, especially land, until you have a basic sense of the way things work.

There's a lot of free things for people who are new.

Explore first.

Make LANDMARKS - or you won't refind the places you liked whilst wandering.

I could see some one getting Gaslighted here, to say Rape cannot happen in a virtual world is like saying obscene phone calls can't happen, because you can just hang up right?... people tend to underestimate the power of the spoken (or in this case, typed) word.

I tried that, JulieAnne. I'd always get to a point where I'd say to myself, "I wonder what this outfit is?". and try it on, or rez the Whatever It Was, and wind up standing up and losing whatever time I'd built up.

Camping was fun when there were some live campers to talk to, but these days they're all bots or AFK. Waste of time.

I was about to scoff at you, Jojogirl, until I remembered one time when I was fairly new. I was adjusting my appearance in public, when a really creepy looking av came up and started fondling me (with green chat text to match, he was wearing some sort of gadget). I, too, felt violated and flustered and had shaking hands.

So...you can't REALLY be raped or assaulted. But things can happen that make you FEEL that way. The solution is to learn to kick a** when required. And/or learn to laugh it off. (NOTE: The approved Linden Lab solution is to file an AR. I'd never tell anyone to do anything that was against LL's guidelines, no sirree. But, sometimes kicking a** just feels so good.)

Can I just say, "oh come on in and enjoy yourself!"

There are far fewer a'holes than people enjoying SL and *should* you encounter one, simply teleport away. End of issue.

ROFLMAO


hahahahahahaha



Next..........................

Like everything in SL (or RL), its just a matter of knowledge. I go to Money island where they have a 5L/10 min bench. The bench ejects you after 10 mins so you have to be quick to resit again but that is the time I go through my inventory and even try on a few different outfits and see how I can use accessories with them. Lots of real People there (no bots) because the owners keep a close eye on the bench. But Ya, if you don't know better and stand-up, you can lose your place real quick.

JulieAnne

We also have two weekly classes that may help the original poster: "Dealing with Griefers" and "Second Life Consumer Skills". All NCI classes are free and open to everyone.

That rape story was the Fox news John Edwards campaign thing

It featured his in world campaign HQ

the infamous "Jail Bait" age play club.

and a Rape simulation club.


The rape is make believe only - all participants are consenting avatars. Pretend rape is something some people like to do online cyber and even in real life.

I really don't see the appeal, but like any other kind of sex, if it exists - there is cyber of it.

It is different from actual rape. Which can't happen in SL, since you cant even have actual sex in Second Life.

No amount of animation tricks and accidental permissions will get you raped either.

There can be a situation where sitting on the wrong poseball (like /AFK on a sexgen bed) could make it appear like your AV was raped, but in reality the sex never happened.

Only consenting Avatars can get "pregnant" also.

I have seen that thing-the animation that has someone, um, attach, to your face in freebie stores but I did not know it could be used without dual consent.

I can see how that would be jarring, depending on a person's past history, personality type, etc. (I'd probably laugh my head off, but I realize that many people are more sensitive than I am to some things.)

Pretty much nothing in SL shocks or upsets me. I get annoyed, amused, charmed, and saddened sometimes, but not genuinely upset. Then again, I'm not easily rattled in RL either.

Since this thread has moved on to helpful tips, let me add one of my own: Find a safe place - NCI is good, and there are others - and set your home to that location.

Not only does it give you a safe place to log in, but if you are ever in an uncomfortable situation, a simple combination of keys - Ctrl+Shift+H - will allow you to remove yourself from that situation to a place where you are somewhat in control.

You always have the power to log out, and if you safeguard your RL information, which is just sensible, that safety is absolute.

Outright rape may not be possible in SL due to animation permissions, but it is possible to end up feeling very violated. Even in text chat with no animations involved. It's not something to be paranoid about, just aware of. Maintain your personal boundaries, be wary in giving out your RL info, and you should be fine.

Well, or very new to SL. And I guess it is possible if things converge - new enough to not have an obvious place to TP to and have the 'stop animations' break down. Which it has often enough in the past, although not recently.

Caging the same way. The twirling cages that keep you off balance, especially if accompanied by a lot of smoke and explosions, would be effective on a newbie. Like people that don't think to turn off their car's engine as a last recourse, some won't think to hit the X. The rest of us are too busy gathering info for the AR...

Am I the only one who wondered how someone who never even logged on would know about "caging"?

I also did as the OP, activated an account and spent the next two weeks doing research. I read the forums and bought the book. The second log in day I had a book in front of the computer to make notes. I am still using the book to this day. I still consider myself a newbie. Best advice: get a Mystitool. Learn what it can do for you.

I have been violated twice in my year and some months.......and yesterdays attack was just as disturbing to me as the prior one. But this time I was more prepared.

After your first few weeks find something you really enjoy and persue a goal in that area. If it be dancing, try to find as many different kinds of clubs as you can. Join a group that interest you. I spent the first three months just looking at all the cool stuff people make. And don't forget the Live Music. Awesome.

And above all: Have Fun.

Thanks for not blasting me Lindal...LOL. Once i understood what was happening and how to deal with it, i have never again been in a position in SL that brought out those emotions. In fact now i get great joy out of giving them a lecture in manners and explaining what an AR is to anyone who acts like an idiot LOL.

I think the shock for me at that time was that i COULD feel that way. That was a huge surprise and TBH i think many men here prob cant fathom that someone made of pixels could make a woman feel vulnerable. But it does happen and anyone who poo poo's it...well i have a whip now baby!

For the OP, i think it is great that you are researching, but there is seriously NOTHING bad that can happen to your RL person in SL. Nothing. Once you realize that, you will be golden.

I was at Gold Rush Casino (remember the glorious days of gambling and camping there) i had walked away from my laptop in rl. When i returned this guy was on me which gave the impression I was giving him oral sex. He had attached himself to the chair. After a few shouts of get off, I A/R'd him and some kind person gave me one of those orbs that prevented anyone from sitting on me. In retrospect, I believe it was his way of trying to force ppl out of the camping chair, because at that time at GR it was hard to get a camping chair at the slot machines. So while rape in truest sense can't happen sl, certains simulations of acts can. BTW before anyone says well you had to give permission, this occurred in 2006 and I there was no blue box populated on my laptop screen asking me for permission for this guy to do this.

Best advice I can give is just to use your common sense. If something makes you even slightly uncomfortable, just walk away and don't give it a second thought. If someone is persistent, mute them, then you don't have to deal with it.

Not in the same league as having someone's private parts attached to your face, but when I first started, I was "befriended" by a guy who seemed perfectly pleasant, but after chatting for a while I felt something wasn't quite right. Turned out he wanted me to pay him for the time he had spent talking with me - obviously in a short space of time he had made the assumption that I was a such a sad old bint who couldn't make friends on her own. Silly as it sounds, that really upset me, and I didn't log on for weeks after that.

Yes, there are asshats out there, and you will run into them from time to time, just as in real life. Just ignore them and move on. They're the ones with the problem, not you.

no, that is why I laughed like I did.

I can't help thinking the OP is some sort of Troll. Seriously, i've never heard any of these crazy things they are saying (knock knock? seriously?), and they seem preoccupied with rape, something which cannot happen in SL. It has to be a joke, just not a terribly clever one.

So I guess rape is a light-hearted, non-serious topic.

No, it's true that the interactions of avatars in Second Life will not meet any jurisdictions legal definition of rape.

It's also true that some people are more emotionally affected by what they do in Second Life than others. Some people can easily disassociate the virtual pixels from the real self and thus limit emotional reactions to what happens to their Second Life avatars.

But it's also true that there are some people in Second Life attempt to be menacing to others, and it can be truly terrifying to the victims of that.

If you are a person who wouldn't be so upset about the unwanted virtual sexual assault on one's avatar, that's great. Showing a bit of respect, if not understanding, to someone who isn't quite so thick-skinned, would be a nice thing on your part, if you were so inclined.

If you think you are the kind of person who might be frightened of the unwanted virtual sexual assault:

1. Knowing what you can do about such harassment before it happens will help you to be less upset about it when it happens. A lot of being upset about harassment is the feeling of powerlessness, not knowing what you can do about it. If you know in advance that there are a lot of things you can do about it, it won't bother you as much.

2. It's a form of harassment that's against the rules. Learn the mechanisms for dealing with it. Take screenshots, make logs, and make Abuse Reports. If any of your friends witness it, have them also take screen shots, make logs, and file Abuse Reports. (Abuse reports on an incident are more likely to be acted upon by Linden Labs when multiple people file on the same incident.) Though Linden Labs has the frustrating policy of not telling you of what it does in response to your Abuse Report, from all I've seen and heard, they do punish harassers if they get a good enough Abuse Report.

3. If the harassment occurs on a Private Estate, and not Mainland, send a report about it to the Private Estate owner in addition to making the Abuse Report.

4. Learn how to Mute. If you ever get your own piece of virtual land, learn how to Eject and Ban. If you are harassed on someone else's property, be sure to inform the owner of the property (in addition to making an Abuse Report). Most owners of public places in Second Life actually care to protect their guests from griefers. If the harassment occures on Private Estate Land (rather than Mainland), inform the Private Estate Owner as well.

5. When all else fails, you can log out of Second Life. You should not be required to log out when someone harasses you, and it's not an acceptable solution. On the other hand, the ultimate power you have over your surrounding is the off button. If you need to use that bit of power, use it.

6. Read the Second Life Terms of Service and the Community Standards. You are entitled to be free from harassment, and you are entitled to expect some privacy in Second Life. Those are the rules, Linden Labs says so.

7. And now that you know that you are entitled to be harassment-free, and you are entitled to privacy, there are going to be times when harassment and invasion of privacy happen. There are very few ways to prevent it. If you accept the fact that you'll need to live with a little but of harassment, even though you're entitled to be free from it, then when the harassment happens it won't upset you so much.

8. It's not your fault if harassment does happen to you. As previously stated, there's no way to really prevent it completely. There's nothing to gain by being mad at yourself for something you couldn't have prevented. Some otherwise well-meaning residents may tell you about what you could have done; but remember that hindsight is always 20-20. Never worry about what you could have done; just worry about what you can do in the future.

9. The overwhelming, overwhelming majority of Second Life residents are actually nice people. It takes a little bit of time to find them; you have to get away from the newbie areas as quickly as possible. But there really are very few harassers, and at least in my experience, it's a rare, not a common, occurence.

10. It's good to have friends in Second Life. They support you when you do run into problems, and in those cases, the problems usually don't seem like big problems.

But the point is, you can't be virtually sexually assaulted. You can't be made to remove your clothes, they can't be removed for you. You can't be forced to sit on a poseball, or even forced to play an animation. Frankly at the very most, some naked noob with an everhard penis could bump up against you, which frankly, is sad if anything. One TP and you're gone.

If something like that bothers you, maybe you should go back to reading the Reader's Digest and watching Wheel of Fortune. Sorry, I can't accept this notion of Virtual Sexual Assault.

Well this is a scary thread. What is this "heart"?

So far I have not faced any form of harassment, but then I crashed before I could get off of the help island.

I received a bunch of nice hair and eyes from a mentor on help island. Should I have not accepted the objects?

Katalin, I'm sure it's fine if they had the sl mentor tag on. You can't have that tag unless one is really a mentor. I suspect you have to ask to join the group, probably go through some kind of mentoring training and since Orientation Island is created by LL themselves, I think you are ok.