Comments Out of Hand

Here? In front of everybody?

I'm not gonna look the other way.

Human nature doesn't change. And what you may consider to be impolite may not be considered impolite, but just being blunt. Very few posts actually seek to insult anyone, but some people sure as heck take it that way. There is some pressure among like minded communities for conformity - like the anti-campers, for example. Or the banline issue, for or against. But I don't consider it bullying - I consider it strenuous advocacy.

Once you get past the fact that it ISN'T PERSONAL, you should feel free to post what you want. But if you make it personal, like you did to Bradley, you had better make sure you are able to get flack as good as you give it. Did you really expect to get away with calling him pompous? Is that not out of hand?

You can only be bullied off if you consider yourself a victim, which frankly you should not.

If you do choose to leave, maybe consider it that you're just using your time more productively for what you want out of life. RA is not the universe.

***edit*** Actually yes, for a lot of people the impersonal computer DOES allow them to leave themselves behind and for me this is one of the drawbacks of SL - which for many is fantasy.

For me a computer is a tool of communication and something which makes doing a lot of things possible, but it doesn't change who or what I am. I am not a fantasist per se, or at least not any more so online than off ... I guess I am as mad as a hatter and as creative in either medium because to me they are all part of ONE reality.

That being said, I also don't think I am the centre of the universe, RA or any other way

Good for you. Don't leave because someone else may wish it, whether you stay or go is your choice.

Yep. I am sure there would be cheers aplenty if I left but ... meh.

This place is not worth getting upset over Jig.

I doubt it.

you can't have opinions without truth is a bit messed up then

One man's truth can be another man's opinion I guess. Especially on the Internets.

Cristalle I did not initiate any personal attack on Bradley. I don't know the man; he is probably a wonderful human being. As he said in one of his comments, he had had a rotten day in reality. But so had I. I had seen a very close famly relative being placed in a nursing home in the final stages of dementia (not alzheimer's - but dementia). Bradley did NOT know that. How could he? I needed some confirmation that I was part of the human community.
But how can we know any of ourselves here? In my real world I have a job of authority - so might you. I dont speak to all the people that work with me and around me with bluntness and "strenuous advocacy" - they would go on their way. I am not a "wimp" or as Bradley put it to me, a "victim". I try to be a polite and decent person. I also try to remember that the person typing the thread is a REAL person, who might not have had a great day and who seeks some solace and company in SL. I was not looking for a fight; I was in a strange place, in a strange city looking for some humour and familiarity. At that moment R.A. looked the right place. I don't want sympathy. I have never asked for it - and I am damn sure I wont get much here. But I never attacked Bradley. But judging by the comments he continued to make that night, he seems to be able to defend himself.
I am NOT going to leave SL. I am NOT going to leave the blogs. Hopefully, I will continue to annoy Bradley with my commentaries and possibly you.
There. Now I have to get working. Life goes on.

You'll annoy more than Bradley and Cristalle I'm sure........ But you're right. We are all, *mostly* human, and we have human failings. But we all came here for a reason, and have stayed most likely for a differernt one. This is a community, and by making your first post you have joined, don't let anyone try to make you feel you don't belong here.

Gordon Brown has an Av in SL???

Whaaa?!?!? .... <tremble>

You implied that he was pompous and he gave as good as he got. It hit the mark, as you said in your own words. Don't try to rewrite history. Granted, he was pretty sour that day, but would you take such a comment lying down?

Let's get some things straight. There are vague accusations of people "bullying" people in this forum, and you seem to endorse that vague accusation. I don't see any such bullying - I see people that are passionate about things they believe in. Sometimes things can get hot (especially when discussing camping or banlines) but rarely is anything said in here truly personal.

Every post that is genuinely seeking help gets it, with NO snark at all unless it's completely over the top unreasonable (the how do i open a store thread is exemplary). Beyond that, I don't see any bullying. Where is the bullying? I'm really sick of hearing this accusation being thrown around. Give some concrete examples of bullying. Are you talking about the anti-camper crowd? The folks that direct people to content creation?

Where is the bullying?

I missed the whole thread that apparently brought this on.

I get annoyed as well when people post vague nebulous lines about alleged bullying or supposed ridiculing of newbies and what not without citing the example. Either identify it in the thread, or PM the person you are displeased with. That's the way things can be cahnged. Not by smugly pointing a finger without any evidence. Then you are just compounding the problem.

Thank you.

Because there were far more flametastic threads when Strife was moderator.

And WAAAY more flametastic when Pathfinder and Jeska were mods.

The real change is all these off-topic threads.

Hehe, so true. I think anyone that was around during the dark days of the forums a couple of years ago is reading this thread and chuckling to themselves. Noobs.

Reacting to something as if it were personal is not a good path to take. This is true even if a coment actually *was* personal

There are people here and on other forums who come across to me as generally intolerant, rude and poisonus. They probably define their behaviour as 'being honest'. I'd be charitable and term it "robustly honest" or "gratuitously honest"

I still read their posts in threads that I read. My spirit just filters out any excessivness in their honesty.


My advice in short:
If someone comes across as so rude that it hits you, then they are probably way better at being rude than you are. Try not to compete.

OK, I think I have it figured out so everyone will know that I have had a bad day without me having to tell them. So no one flames or bashes me. Now if you want to slap my ass thats an entirely different story. Can I get away with having that posted in my siggy or will I get slapped for that one?

For any comment to hurt or insult me, it would have to be said by someone I know and truly admire, and it would have to be directly aimed at me. It would also have to have some truth in it. Then, I would probably toss and turn all night thinking about it, arguing with myself about the validity of the comment.

"How dare she say..."
"I am NOT like that..."
"Well, perhaps there was that time..."
"No way!"
"Maybe...Sometimes..."

I may argue with the opinions of others, but to get my point across, I try to keep laughter and finger pointing on my side of the screen. Believe me, I laugh a lot. The key word here is TRY. If I do write something condescending, once I see it on the screen, the embarrassment I feel at having gone to that level is much bigger than any anger I felt in the 1st place. An apology in PM usually heps...

So, if it takes me over 24 hours to get back to you after an insult directed at me, you'll know that - 1. I admire you, and 2. I had a sleepless night.

ROFL! Awesome advice.

Bravo! I try to follow a few simple rules.
Don't ask for opinions if you really don't want to hear them.
Don't give your opinion if you don't want to have it challenged
Don't take things said on Internet Forums seriously
When all else fails, Point and Laugh.

Jig, I whole heartedly sympathize with you. My father died with alzeheimers and now my Mother has dementia and has for quite a number of years. It just gets more fun every day.

Sometimes I wonder where my future lies with that in my medical history. My daughter and I try to joke about it. Thats just in my nature. We fight over who gets to get it first so the other one will have to take care of us. Yes, I know it isnt funny but horrible. But thats how we handle medical emergencies. We try and find a way to laugh at them. When I was flat on my back in the hospital after having my heart attack the nurse didnt want to leave my room because he was having too much fun.

Laughter extends your life by eight years. Thank God there is an easier way to extend your life than to eat right because I don't see that one happening for me. Junk food is just too tasty. Ohhh and so are boy-toys.