I beg for help! My first romantic night was a disaster! (read) I need tips for 2nd

hi, Jinnywitha! That's pretty cool! It sounds very romantic to me the fact that you were trying to share even the RL food in some way. Thanks for sharing so many nice experiences and feelings in your post.

Yes, Lear, that is something I've discovered in this experience. For the previous signs I was thinking that she was more engaged than me in this, but I found that when things really mattered I was the only one trying his best there. It's more important to prove that you love someone just once than to say him "I love you" one thousand times.
Thanks for all the detailed information you gave me in your posts, Lear, and for you opinions.

hi Lolita! Thanks for your lovely post and for the nice words, but please, don't put too much money on our 3rd date, really...
It will be soon but we have to talk about our differences, we need to clarify so many things... I guess it will be a tense date.

It's very possibly one of THE most important points there is in my opinion. Without similar outlooks, goals, and approaches to the evening, there's a good chance all the rest will fail, or at least hit roadblocks that one of the two people will not feel comfortable about. With so many different ways that people play their SL (all RP, all RL, somewhere in between), finding someone whos approach to SL matches your own is pretty important.

Also, remember that having a romantic night together in SL doesn't mean you have to only do romantic type activities. The magic that happens in SL takes place in your minds, and that can happen in almost any location, doing almost any activity. Avoid boredom or repetition by mixing things up.

Dont get two tents Somehow, I know there's a joke about tents and intense. But that's all I can remember.
Hey, listen, my partner and I are always arguing so dont expect plain sailing. He is 66 in real and I am 28-ish. Way younger than him anyway. I'm not sure if you've had much real experience or whether sl is a "dry run" at real life relationships, but be prepared to think your partner's an idiot more often than you think they're brilliant. As Chrissie Hinde sand "I may be great tomorrow but useless yesterday".

Thanks Smith for all your posts in this thread and for the nice words.

Marzial, you are a quick study. It sounds like your second date passed with flying colors! You were relaxed, gf was relaxed, and you both were focused on enjoying each other's company.

I think it's great that you handled the griefer in the way *you* felt was best for you and your gf, and that it was successful. Some of the other options noted, such as muting AR-ing, you can remember in the future if you need them.

Don't worry, he does that to everyone, whether they are native English speakers or not. Now that Pep has deigned to correct your English, you can consider yourself part of the club!

That was very kind and thoughtful of you.

I still reckon Pep taught me in real coz he just sounds so much like the mizerable sod who made my life hell with all kindsa tortures like "Precis" and thesis, antithesis and synthetics. He never published anything I wrote in the school magazine that he edited - I was really surprized that my account of a party I went to "somewhere in Kent" was not published. His wife hated me and I think she threw a tea pot at me once when I was on the other side of her hedge.

!!!

On the contrary, the OP didn't learn from his first date, and the advice he received regarding it, or perhaps he is happy to work to the double standards whereby it is permissible for him to be distracted by others while in romantic IM, while his date should not be. For the second date in succession their focus was disturbed by conversations with third parties.

I too am glad that the OP didn't let it disturb *his* side of the date too much. Has the OP checked out how his date partner *really* felt about it though? We haven't heard her side of the story.

I don't do *anything* to everyone. I treat individual posts as they deserve to be treated and don't hesitate to offer perceptive insights where others might spout politically correct and over-inclusive platitudes.

Can you point out to me where I have attempted to correct the OP's English in this thread? I have merely pointed out that the OP's ESLer style has unsurprisingly been the source of inaccurate interpretation - lack of concentration by commentators is a common occurrence here in RA - thus detracting from the good simple advice I offered. I would also point out that Lindal - not one to agree with me on principle - repeated my advice, although she may not have realised this, since I am usually on ignore with her; in addition Lear, despite his condemnation of my tone, has also not only agreed but reiterated his agreement with my advice.

Pep (wishes that people would actually read posts. )

instead of a planned out date with a lot of things that work in RL but are kind of odd in SL such as dining out...

take her sailing or flying around in the Blake Sea sims.

make it sound spontaneous

In fact, as you just admitted, you *have* invented several "possibilities" for which there is no basis in the OP's posts. Your "arguements" have all been based on your own fevered imagination of what might, or might not, have provoked the griefer. While you are at it, why don't you construct a scenario where the griefer is the OP's date's rl husband? I am sure that would enable you to develop even more unnecessary drama, thereby increasing your post count, assuming that your participation here is part of a school project to improve your written English. A creative writing class, is it?

Pep (My own comments regarding the OP's situation are simple and straightforward, and are based on what he actually posted. )

Pep, you are bright enough to understand the difference between a possibility and the truth. Unless you can show how any possibility I suggested is actually impossible, without resorting to more facts that are in the OP's posts, then the possibilities are not 'invented.'

Without investigating, it is not possible to rule them out as possibilites, and talking to the girlfriend is the simplest form of investigation available. It also shows her you care enough to talk to her and to stand by her.

You seem to feel that actual communication or discussion is somehow a bad thing, and that one should act on as few facts as possible, never trying to learn more before acting.

Isn't that a bit reckless and irresponsible?

(and I wanted to take this to PM's, but your mailbox seems to be full)

I keep my mailbox full exactly to pre-empt this sort of nonsensical discussion you are promoting, of hypothetical possibilities in a virtual world with absolutely no guarantees that anything that is said or heard is true.

Pep (The OP was wasting his and his date's time; I refuse to allow you to waste any more of mine.)

Lol, that is like the police saying there is no guarantee any given person is guilty, so no need to investigate, and meanwhile there is no guarantee that the person they think did it is innocent, so better lock him up, again, no need to investigate.

And the only one wasting your time is you. I am not forcing you to post nor is anyone else, nor for that matter are you the best judge of what is a waste of time for anyone other than you.

So you are appointing yourself an SL Policeman now, are you?

Pep (You'd better tell Cato you're taking over his role. )

You may pick apart my posts to your little heart's content, but I will not be drawn into a debate with you. I've watched too many other people go down that road to have any interest in doing so.

For someone judging other's communication abilities, you are pretty pathetic at comprehension. I said the OP was right to talk to his GF, to investigate.

I did not say I should, or you should, or anyone else should, just that he should find out more before deciding how best to handle the situation. Pity you cannot seem to grasp that simple point.

When I see people say things like this I know in my heart they are meant to make the victim feel better... however, I feel like it just enables him to go on posting like he does. People DO take it personally... and righfully so.

What, talk about your relationship? I thought you were male. We don't do that, remember! (Don't violate the union rules or you'll be fined.)

You don't treat *people* the way they deserve to be treated, regardless of how low your opinion of them may be.

Just look at your text (I wouldn't call it "rhetoric". You don't simply address the issues, you hurl insults at their authors -- or what your overactive imagination assumes them to be. You don't read posts looking for something to gain from them, but for flaws to be punced on. You don't try to understand what those who disagree with you are saying; you assume that if they disagree with you, their thinking is flawed, or that they're "stubborn".

You also assume that ability to communicate and spell well is equivalent to intelligence and clear thinking. There's a correlation, not an equation.

And you continue to foul up nearly every thread you join in with your annoying battles.

It's easy to find fault in others' posts. It's far more rewarding to find the truths.

===

I apologize to the audience for my hypocracy here, doing just the thing that I accuse Pep of (attacking the people posting rather than focusing on the merits of the arguments).

But I think if Pep continues to post the way he does, he should be barred from the forum. His few amusing insights do not balance out the harm he does.

REALLY, Pep -- PLEASE try, just TRY to be polite and mature, and stop your foolish squabbling. And get please help, because you obviously have a serious personality problem.

hahaha, Lear you are a visionary!

I've just been "fined". Our 3rd meeting was not a romantic one, really. (see pic). That's me, banned from accessing my own land. That's our (rented) land. All "our" things now are "her" things. All our items are now in my ex-gf inventory. There are two of the friends of my ex-gf on the land. No idea what they are doing there.

I have to say this was a great experience for me. So funny an original. I had the privilege to share it with an amazing girl with great personality, smart as hell and full of energy and dynamism. From the deep of my heart, I wish her the best in Second Life and I wish her the best in all the known and unknown Lives.

I'm so sorry, Marzial. You seem like a nice guy, and I hope you find someone wonderful in SL who will love you back.

Some people only learn by experience.

Pep (Is one of the small figures on "her" land the griefer perhaps?)