I beg for help! My first romantic night was a disaster! (read) I need tips for 2nd

Good for you!

When someone annoys you like this, the easiest thing to do is Mute them. Just right click their avatar and select Mute. They become a silent gray silhouette. Problem solved.

I agree.

Having trouble thinking, Pep, or did you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed, yet again? Sheesh, man, take a pill or get counseling or something, but please fix this problem of yours. You can be interesting, amusing, and thought-provoking. Try to remember to do those things rather than simply being a pompous asshole with an idiotic agenda and so many axes to grind. Yeah, you may have an ongoing feud with some people, and there may even be good reasons for it (giving you more benefit of the doubt than you deserve). But here, you're just being a complete asshat, worthy of the mute button.

Or maybe you're just too stupid to consider the possibility that one way to harass someone is to harass anyone you see WITH that person, rather than being direct.

No, I bet you're not too stupid, you're being this way by choice, which is all the more deserving of our disrespect.

Jeff (sounding more like pep than like Jeff -- a bad imitation I admit but capturing the infantile emotional attitude nonetheless)

PS: Really, Pep -- get help.

I see nothing to suggest that he didn't fully comprehend your advice. Rather, I see that he used judgement. You should try using some yourself. Your post was way out of line and against the rules for this forum. I worry about your emotional health, Pep.

Someone called???

Pep, just to reiterate what others have already noted, the OP says that this woman is already being harassed.


This kind of harassment -- the indirect attack through friends -- is pretty characteristic of stalkers in RL and SL.

While I appreciate that telling her about the IMs might have spoiled the "mood," etc., and may even seem an unkind thing to do, it is far more important, if she IS being harassed, that she be treated like a responsible intelligent adult, and kept fully apprised of something that relates to her own well-being and safety.

The days when women needed to be shielded and protected by the knight in shining armour are long past.

next time find the host/hostess/manager and tell them. In places like sweethearts the offender will be given a flying lesson and probably banned. Sweethearts takes a very firm line against the guests being harassed.

While others behave in such a fashion I shall point out their inadequacies in a way that makes it difficult for them - or others potentially prone to sloppy/lazy/ignorant behaviour - to ignore.

He did *not* say that she has "some sort of trouble with a stalker". It was actually in his follow up post that he inelegantly expressed his *own* (misconceived) concern that "she has an enemy out".

I think it is evident from your own miscomprehension of his posts that the OP does *not* speak English "just fine"!

Pep (cuts the Gordian knot!)

Shouldn't you be off taking care of that "Slavery" thread for Jig?

Yep! As I predicted.

Pep (A combination of poor ESLer expression - ask him again if she was being stalked *before* this experience, or even if the supposed stalker actually said anything to his date - and over-emotional over-reaction.)

PS Lear, I am surprised at you; you usually read posts before you comment.

It's just that I hate to disappoint!

ETA: But you will admit, in light of the OP's later communication to the effect that she has "enemies," that telling her WAS the right thing to do?

Marzial,
Now that you have a good list of places and activities, when ever you feel like the "just go with the flow" is dragging, pull one of the places from the list and see if that does not spark some action. Nothing like a little pre-planed spontaneity

Marzial, thank you so much for following up and letting us know how things went for you on the 2nd date.

From my personal experience, I haven't had many dates in SL, and certainly none of them involved dinner. If you had invited me to dinner, I wouldn't even have thought about eating RL during the simulated process on the screen. I think you made a wise choice to skip the virtual dinner on your second attempt. I mean, I absolutely *love* a good role-play, but dinner / drinks just don't really make sense to me in SL.

What would I like in a date? First and foremost, no expectations. And if I arrive at your home and it's nothing but a sex bed and sex rugs .... I'll be leaving.

Dancing is fun and enjoyable, but depending on the venue it may be distracting, especially for a first date and double especially if they are having an event there. Triple especially if either of you are regulars at that venue. There will be a lot of chatter to try to keep up with.

I know of a private island that would be a nice date for me. There's a beach, lagoon, hang gliding, jet skis, boating, walking trails, tree houses, scenic areas, .... just so much to do right there in one sim. I had a date take me to a planetarium one night, and that was interesting ... was something different, and as we sat in the dark room looking at the stars, listening to the narration .... it made for some nice snuggle time also.

*sighs* ....I'm babbling .... and it sounds like you're well on your way to a nice 3rd date. A suggestion ... both go into "Busy" mode with a nice message about why you are not responding to IM's. You'll get the IM's, and they will get your message. If it's something important enough, you can respond to it. Otherwise, your friends will know why you're not responding, and hopefully will respect that and not hammer you.

I reread it and yes, I agree, that could be the correct interpretation. Now do your happy dance and get it over with



I don't doubt the OP is less miscomprehended than you are, Pep!

For goodness sake, read the OP's obviously clumsy English again!!!!!!!!!

Pep (He *did not say* that she has enemies!!!!! He expressed *his* belief to her *afterwards* that because *he* was harassed, that *she* had an enemy!!!!!)

PS I'm frustrated by the inability of others to (have to) translate poor English, not angry. You'll all get it in the end - and have wasted your time, that if the OP and mine as well in achieving enlightenment.

Thanks for acknowledging it, Smithy. How about the rest of you?

I have a feeling that the OP didn't know how to mute someone.

Pep (But next time he might; and that's what RA is about, isn't it?)

Well . . . ok, maybe. It IS a tad unclear . . .

(/me looks to see if there is any room in the Dunce's corner next to Smif)

No... but there's some room on my lap

Thank you for your acknowledgement as well.

Pep (Make room! Make room!)

PS Rhonda has almost certainly got me on ignore, so she will remain in ignorance and won't be joining you, despite being the original instigator of the misapprehension.

Ahh. I walked right into (or sat right on) that one, didn't I . . .

The worst thing is that I wasted a perfectly good rant . . .

Must...suppress... big wang joke...

It must be terribly difficult for you . . .

"Can't ... think ... all blood ... rushing ... to penis!"

One of the many reasons I don't do any "master debating" in-world

You were warned.

Pep (which reinforces my original argument, I am delighted to observe. )

Not sure when "if" became "zomg fact!" but whatever.