I beg for help! My first romantic night was a disaster! (read) I need tips for 2nd

I've finally found a SL girlfriend to play together to the SL drama game. She has rented a really nice house for both and she has filled it with all those virtual things that virtual houses of the virtual worlds use to have.
So I had to organize my first romantic encounter with my girlfriend and I really wanted to plan everything in a proper way to make she had an optimal virtual experience. I tried to use my RL references as those are the only ones I had.

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The Plan

My plan was something like this:
0. To prepare myself at RL.
1. Meeting at our SL home. (5-10) minutes
2. Dinner. (30 minutes)
3. Visit to Da Vinci Gardens or any similar place. (20-30 minutes)
4. Dancing in a romantic club. (30-60 minutes)
5. Dancing in another romantic club. (30-60 minutes)
6. Visit to Lost Gardens of Apollo or any similar place. (20-30 minutes)
7. Go back at home and... oh well... you know... (20-30 minutes)

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The Result

0. To prepare myself at RL.
At my RL home, I prepare a decent dinner for myself, not just the snacks or the cans I use to eat at night. I grill a good sized T-Bone steak with some vegetables and I open a bottle of Marqués de Cáceres, a decent red wine for a fair price, I recommend it. I forget about telephones. I close the msm. In resume, I try my best to get in mood.
9 /10

1. Meeting at our SL home.
We both arrived on time. My SL girlfriend was nicely dressed. I was dressed like she said me to dress so I guess I was nicely dressed too.
No problems here.
10 / 10

2. Dinner.
I looked for restaurants before the meeting. I found a couple of them but they were empty. I don't like that. Empty places scare me. Our meeting time was coming. I was a little nervous so I went to a Spanish club to shout for help in the middle of the dance area. I got two IM's from two kind users. I checked two more restaurants. Same scene: "I am Legend" effect. I finally decided that we were going to go to a restaurant named Bistro something. It was empty but the place it's very nice to see.
My SL girlfriend and me live in Spain. Six hours less than USA East Cost time, for reference.
10:10 PM, we arrive at the place and we seat at the table. The place is well designed, nicely decorated, it has good atmosphere, the mechanic of the dinner simulation is acceptable, music is appropriated... Too bad we are the only two people there during the 30 minutes we spent dinning. We talk about some irrelevant questions. Nothing too deep.
No lag or technical problems for any of us.
5 / 10

3. Visit to Da Vinci Gardens or any similar place. (20-30 minutes)
At this point my SL girlfriend is suffering too many interruptions so most of the time I am just waiting for her to go back to our game. She is answering RL phone calls. She is taking snapshots. And I guess she is with some IM action too... her friends need fresh information, of course! So I am getting a little angry here. No way to get involved in this simulation under these conditions.
I decide to skip this part and we just advance to the next one.
0 / 10

4. Dancing in a romantic club.
11:00 PM, we are at Phat Cat's. Nice place, crowded as usual. Lovely music and great views. After an epic battle against the lag we get to arrive at the dance floor. We start to dance. It looks like things are working better now... "The region where you currently are, it will reset in 120 seconds..." Ok, ok... we try again... we go back to the same place after a few minutes. The lag is lower now and the place is not so crowded so we start to dance with no effort. We begin an important conversation about us but my girlfriend continues with the interruptions. After 15 minutes, the lag comes back again. I suffer some crashes also. My gf too. We just can't chat this way! Maybe for the wine, maybe for the chaos, I have to take two aspirins. I really feel bad.
We finally leave the place and we try to look for a less lagged club. The plan was to move anyway so it's fine...
4 / 10

5. Dancing in another romantic club.
12:15 PM, we are at Sweethearts. Lovely retro disco. It uses to be crowded too but not so lagged as the previous one. We start to dance and to talk about us. Interruptions are almost nonexistent now. Lag is moderated and we only crash a couple of times.
Finally we can have a long and fluid conversation. Things are really working now! At one point, I even felt touched.
9 / 10

6. Visit to Lost Gardens of Apollo or any similar place.
1:00 AM, the climax is at its highest, so I suggest to go to Lost Gardens of Apollo, a really well designed place with great visuals. I arrive at the place and I try to teleport to my girlfriend. No way. Only 11 people in the sim but SL says that it's full. Whatever we try to do fails. I am sending teleports to my girlfriend for 20 minutes... I get nothing.
The momentum has gone...
0 / 10

7. Go back at home and... oh well... you know...
1:30 AM, obviously nothing!
I am really angry after the last experience at those Gardens. My girlfriend is not happy either. It was not the day. We both understood this.
We left SL in peace.
To be honest I have to say that I was not happy with the object I bought for this special moment, so next time I hope I will be better prepared.
0 / 10

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Questions

- What is the best restaurant in SL? What's the best time to go?

- Any suggestions for easy romantic places to visit for 20 minutes?

- Is there any similar place to Lost Gardens of Apollo in SL?

- Do you know any crowded romantic music places with acceptable lag?

- What is the best thing to buy to be used in the point 7. ? (any price)

- Any other suggestions?

Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for the suggestions.

Stop right there.
Turn OFF your computer. Now phone up ANYONE you know in real and invite them over.

I have never cared for overly crowded places simply because the rezz is so hard o me-

I think the biggest thing you need to fix is the GF chatting in IM to her friends. There is a time and place for everything and a romantic night out isn't it. And I say this as someone with a business who is usually in several IM's myself- but when I am involved socially - other than something urgent - it stops too.

Re number 7 - take a look at Tender Love HUD - search inworld or xstreet - not hard to find.

i was gonna suggest the same thing

Stop planning and "go with the flow" ... feel your way dude

Your problem is not the venue. You have set up a really nice evening there (although, on a personal note, I tend to get turned off by a guy who sticks rigidly to a schedule). The problem is, your plans call for a lot of role-play. This is great if your date is into the same level of role-play as you are; but your last date obviously wasn't (and chances are, she would be a lot like that on a real-life date as well).

You are either going to have to figure out what would keep your current date's interest, or you are going to have to find another date - one who can appreciate the same level of role-play as you.

Good luck!

Jig - not nice.

Your low-tech solution may not be the answer he was looking for.

If your going to be isolated - then rent a boat and go on the water - that is isolated and romantic. Perhaps some deep sea diving/snorkeling.

Discard numbers 2,3,4,and 6.

You're not much of a romantic, are you!

Agreed. In RL you gotta eat. In SL, you can eat a sandwich at the keyboard and skip right to the dance and other animations that a woman would find romantic.

Or better yet, just IM on AIM or gmail and skip the whole crashing/lag/interruption part.

He didn't skip #5. That's romantic enough and requires a lot less teleporting.

I don't think you ever danced with me.

Hmm - I was going to say that.

To each his own, BUT, if a guy expected to be bumping pixels at the end of our FIRST romantic date, then he would find himself bumping something other than my pixels.

These things are suppose to just happen, not freakin be planned down to the minute like that as it definitely takes the feel out of it.

Additionally, next time you want an evening to be romantic with lots of 'get to know you' communicate this ahead of time and try to get an idea of whether the lady might be interrupted a lot and/or what her view of a romantic evening is.


Oh, and I actually agree with Chris on much of what he says to skip.

#1 Get a different gf.

Pep (If she is "too busy" - aka insufficiently interested - to pay you full attention on the first date then I can't see much future for the two of you. )

Another point, it doesn't matter what you use for #7, what you type in the IM box is a whole lot more important.

Cody's Rules to an Awesome And Totally Romantic SL Date

1. Meet at her house. If she has parents, make sure they really like you. Make concessions within reason. Above all, STICK TO THE CURFEW.

2. Dinner. My favorite place is the Moolight Cafe on the SS Galaxy. Being a staff member helps, because you get to refer to the rest of the staff by their first names and that impresses some girls. But again, there's all kinds of cool restaurants in SL. The key is research. The alternative to this step is step 3.

3. Dancing. The Ballroom on the Galaxy is first-rate and plays swing and jazz, but not all girls are into that, so you again you just gotta research and find a decent club. You'll have an easier time if you're not a kid av, but trust me, even if you are there's a practically limitless selection.

4. Movie. On first glance, watching a movie in SL may seem strange. Why not just watch it in RL? Because in RL your special someone is too far away to sit with. Or hold hands. Movies are pretty cheap in SL and typically you get the ability to watch them as many times as you want. I would recommend watching the movie at your place (if it's clean) or a neutral site (that's clean). Watching it at her place is generally a bad idea - parents are a hassle. I'm told it gets worse the older you are.

5. Movie's over, and so is the date - almost. You know what comes next - IF it's not your first date. Don't make it last longer than 3 minutes, or her parents will complain. If they even allow kissing. Also, make sure there's no known haters anywhere on the sim - they'll totally try to AR something like that. If it's your first date, a hug will work. Though they might try to AR that too.

6. Go home. Which may or may not involve logging off, or whatever else you have planned.

And that's it!

Works like a charm, I promise.

Definately agree- it's the conversation, and making the time to let that happen comfortably, not gadgets. I think you need to tell your gf about busy mode, and get other friends out of the picture while you are together. Otherwise, you may as well just invite them all over for afternoon tea and be done with anything else.

Also, purely subjective...you have a really tight schedule worked out there, and even if SL ran like clockwork, you are spending a lot of time moving from place to place. That eats up a lot of time, and you might find all you talk about is who is going to tp who to the next venue and waiting for things to rez. Why not go to one place and explore it together?

Anyway..best of luck to you both, and I hope you discover what makes you happy

I've never been to 'dinner' in SL, so I'm afraid I can't really help there.

I'm sure there's a sim somewhere which you can explore *and* dance on - it would cut down on the teleportation/rezzing times. I think I remember a place called Romantic Joy or somethign similar which was a pretty place to explore and dance, it had a few dancefloors so you could choose your setting and I never found it seriously laggy.....of course that was a while ago now.

Your gf needs to realise that if she's agreed to a date, then she needs to pay attention to that date. if it was incredibly urgent, then ok, but it sounds like she was just chatting to her friends, which imo is unacceptable on a date situation.

I agree with the point a couple of others have made on #7. Its the words that count.

Good Luck

Well, according to Greg Egan, who is of course the ultimate arbiter of post-singularity dating (the greatest love scene ever is in his novel Oceanic), for an immaterial avatar to really win a girl it needs need to derive an original theorem from first principles (it doesn't have to be undiscovered, just unknown to you). For example the famous incorporeal Yann (one of the founders of Mimosa station) devised a homotopy between N-spheres that could be projected into the 3-plane and elegantly reversed.

Seems to me there's a significant lack of drama potential here right from the off. No mention of alts, no reference to prior stalking (SL or RL), no previous BF/GF gone bad on either side, no mention of existing BF/GFs to screw over ... err dump ... err whatever.....

I'm sure I've missed out a whole load of possibilities .. could be a new thread? LOL

And to the OP - sorry it didn't work out how you planned it, SL (and RL) is like that .. if there's a real connection between the two of you, you'll manage, one way or the other

Thus endeth my pearls of wisdom!

Inc

I'd say, a little less planning, a little more enjoying. In RL a date is usually a meal followed by entertainment (dancing, movie, walk on beach, rollerskating, etc.). In SL you can substitute something else for the meal if desired, since we don't need to eat.

By comparison, your date as described sounds more like a whole day's worth of activities. I'd recommend next time, find ONE sim that has several different activities to offer, that you can enjoy for a couple of hours, such as Cody's example of the Galaxy. Then just move from one activity to another when you feel like it, not after X number of minutes have elapsed.

Check out the sim you are going to visit at more or less the same time and day of the week to check the sim traffic/lag. As you now know well, some sims, including the Lost Gardens of Apollo, are quite often overcrowded at peak times.

There are a lot of nice sims with romantic spots, in fact we are overdue for a "romantic places" thread, the SLURLs in the older threads are likely not good anymore.

The SL Botanical Garden is one of my favorites for exploring and has a few cuddle spots hidden around here and there.

Another fave, Wales Harbour, has a dancing area at Paradise Falls, and all around the set of sims are interesting things to see and little secluded romantic spots. It takes a while for all the textures and such to load there, but it's worth waiting for.

Well, that impresses me, but admittedly, after googling both homotopy and n-spheres it's still as clear as mud.

I think you had a crowded plan there. I would cut it back to one garden, one activity and one dance place. Dinner was never a big draw for me so I do not know of any such places. You might look at other activities such as carnivals or amusement parks, surfing, snorkeling, or other beach activities (great excuse to be in minimal clothing too) or search for art exhibits. You have a few gardens you know of and just a search for "garden" will bring up a lot of possibilities; I did that myself not long ago.

Spend about 45 minutes with the activity, playing games, discussing art, admiring a build, what ever. The great thing about art or theme builds is it helps you talk a little deeper because you say how that makes you feel. Even amusment parks are supposed to make you feel like a kid.

Next is dancing. Live music events are fun but will be laggy as hell. Still, it may be something worth considering. If you liked Phat Cats, try Intimate Moments. Not as crowded but almost always someone there. It is a nice build and you can dance right on the beach if you want. Smooth is another one of the places I go often but I think it is more of a North American time zone place. Wherever you go, use the dance time to talk and start setting the mood for the closure in step 7. Tell her how you feel. Tell her how she makes you feel. Tell her you are going to make love to her. Don't ask; tell her.

Step 7
If you want detailed help, send me an PM. Bits do not matter much and not at all when you are first getting together. In fact you could do step 7 while on the dance floor all in IM's and have a steamy hot and passionate time while never removing your clothes. But that is beside the point here. Use what you have or use nothing at all; which ever makes you comfortable. Later, you can take her with you to shop for something better. But let me state one more time the un-necessity of bits. They will either be covered up one way or another the vast majority of the time or they will be poking through her back in a disturbing sort of way. Size matters and that size is small.

Anyway, good luck with round 2. And remember KISS (keep it simple, silly).

/me thinks Clover is a lucky kitty. Rhonda knows how to build a date!