How Do You Know If You've Been Ignored?

Hmmm...did I miss somewhere that Phil is an old goat?

Hi Laurin

Isn't she? What would we do without her? I love it best when Jiggy launches into her makey-uppy adjectives, especially if they are describing sounds or men. I howl laughing every time

I tried - I really did, but the cafe had run out of it when I got there, so I had a buttered scone and tea, and I'll feed myself later.

Or, alternatively... I'm not flexible enough

LOL, yes..she would definitely be worth meeting. God knows what things she would tell us after a couple of drinks in her.

Oh ye of the cloven hoof, I will mmmmmmnnnnnn in sympathy when my batch of lasagna is finished bubbling and brewing. I have been fussing over it like a wizened old hag all day.

I expect you don't eat lasagna though in the land of pudding.

Coffee.

Definitely not.

Since it's Friday and I am feeling mellow, I will admit to being as amused when Jig commits her malapropisms (intentionally or otherwise) as her faux-geek use of "teh" annoyed me.

Pep (Did I see a "guilty secrets" thread a little while ago where this would have been apropos?)

Its always good to know you have friends like the forumites. I have a "coffee meeting" scheduled this morning so I gotta get ready for that. I really need my reading glasses bu I dont wear them so there is a reason for my malapropical anntics. Did you realize slightly dark blue on light blue is bloody hard to read also. Anywho ... then i have to meet this English bloke who wants to do something with me - not what you're thinking, Pep, you narughty boy.

Okay armpit plucking: Techniques:
1. Get teh bloke lying down (on a bed is best) I always worry that they may die if they lie on the floor. And plucking armpits would be well nigh impossible for a cop to believe. I'd get interogatted.
2. Select an arm. Left is good. Or right. Either one really. And stertch it out. Not too far and let the elbow rest on a cushion, coz this might hurt, Dont tell him what your gonna do coz the first one is half the fun.
3. Select a hair.Just ONE hair. Dont make a grab for a whole bunch. You wanna pleasure the guy not torture him! Poor sod. Imagine grabbing a whole lock of underarm and swaffing it off! Yowch!
4. It should be towards the edge of the armpit coz you dont wanna use them all up. Then gently circle around it with your forefinger. Kinda like your masaging it. Getting it all nice and armed up. This can take a minute and he'll go all dreamy. That's the best bit - for him. Gently take the hair and as your massagging it gt ready and just as he thinks its gonna last forever snap the hair upwards liek your fly-fishing.
5. It should come out fairly easily. But if it doesnt have a bandaid by your side - and an excuse.
6. As his startled expression increases, tell him it's okay and that you're in control. But keep massaging it. He should feel a warmth in his arm as the blood returns. That is the pleasure for him.
7. You can do a couple ofmore hairs but you'll be surprised how happy he is when you offer it next time coz its very addicting. You can have sex after that.

Jiggy.

Oh Jig . . .

WAY too much information!!

I really need an alt, to post in some of these threads. But, honestly Jig, in all my years, which are no doubt considerably more than yours, I have never heard of this (ummm 'sexual technique'? Foreplay? ) Interesting sure, but the old fellow in my bed, would probably piss him off to have his armpit hair plucked.

It's all in the mood. You see, he prolly thinks he's over teh edge by now and wonders what lies ahead. Well, armpit plucking and elbow massages. You can do some amazing things to a man if you can get them to lie still or stand behind them.

And those of us men who shave under our arms?

(I think that armpit hair looks ugly on any gender of person)

Hmmmm...I don't think I have ever met a guy who shaves under his arms
Do you shave anywhere else

Oh yeah, a lot of them do it Kyl. You'd be surprised but it can get a little brusing especially if your depillated also - I can assure you.

Depillation - isnt that a nice word?

"Please depillate my roses".
or
"The depillation of the Rockingham Blow Tickler has led to a decrease in grass sponges on the fens."

Erm... yes I do, and I haven't come across a woman who doesn't think things look better for it.

I much prefer a man with a nice pelt ... well, perhaps not on the back and shoulders. I especially like chest hair - something to curl my fingers in when I am going to sleep. Scrotums (scrota?) are ugly things and so are best kept covered in fur.

Good point!

I adore her malapropisms, especially the unintentional ones. But I've always assumed the "teh" is simply the little brain going faster than the little fingers, without a care for the backspace key.

After all, it's just a forum post, not a post-doc thesis.

PS: By "little brain" I do not mean to imply a small mind!

Lol! Lear!

You know you're getting old when the barber offers to trim your shoulders.

Ah well, it's off between us then. I'm about as hairless you can get without having alopecia (except for my head, which is still well-covered).

At 50 I finally got to the point where I could sport a beard without looking like a scruffy goat or hopeful teenager.

Or your ears!