Do people just not like me?

Jezebella... ALWAYS take a suicide threat seriously.

i know the fears and crazyness that come with phobias..and i know not everyone can find their cure because their body may never have one..but i do feel there are a lot of people that are on pills that don't need to be..

my main point was..there are so many people on prescription medications now..like when i was speaking about the gaming forums and the number of people with phobias and disorders.. mentioning sleep and them saying what's sleep?
chances are they were lacking in sleep and that kicks off a whole world of other problems..


the reason i was sleeping for 3 hours a night was spiders..black widows and brown recluse..tiny little spiders that melt holes in a person the size of softballs..the more sleep lost the worse it got..i knew every single dot on every wall in my house by heart..i would vacuum my house every night until 2am in case there may be any in the creases..putting a double sided tape barrier on the ceiling over my bed so they could not walk over me at night and the same on every bed post ..

i've walked the walk many times waking up feeling as if i was covered in spiders or feeling holes in my legs screaming in pain then breaking down after realizing it was a dream and making that call that you won't be in work today because you are a total wreck..doing laundry with thick leather gloves itching the whole time and changing sheets every night and flipping my mattress and jumping out of bed with every little thing that feels like it touched you..
i had seen one in my jeep and ran over two lanes of traffic freaking..
i threw out a beautiful $8,000 bedroom set because i was told they are attracted to that kind of wood and went to rubber maid sealed containers for my clothes and shoes because they hated plastic hahahaha..

it started to spawn into other phobias to the point that a tiny breeze moving a hair on my neck would start me screaming from thinking one was on me while at work..
imagine being with a client and that happen..it kind of freaks everyone out hehehehehehe
it stretched into the only thing i could think of at all..it affects every aspect of your life..

the reason i ate crap food was because it had to be air tight sealed and the tea was to keep me from sleeping..i felt if i slept too long they would feel my body temperature and be drawn to me..a lot of crazy things run through your mind when you think you are trying to outsmart something..you tend to sound real goofy to people around you..

one time i was trapped in the bathroom for over 3 hours because i saw one go under the door to the outside and was too scared to open the door thinging it would run in at me..

i finally got so tired of being tired and scared that i just didn't care anymore if they bit me..i'm not scared of spiders..just those two kinds of them..i looked up a way to finally get rid of them and found out that exterminators could not promise anything..
after wasting about $3,000 in hearsay remedies and who knows how much on orkin extras i finally found that the best way to get them was introduce their enemy..the wolf spider and praying mantis..
it went from seeing 5 to 10 recluse a day to now seeing maybe a couple a season..

as soon as i could finally start to sleep more i started eliminating the other things like the tea and eating better..
now i'll crush them with my bare feet where before it took a well designed plan and a vacuum cleaner in full battle gear to take one on hehehehehehe

sorry for lingering on this but just sharing that i do have a good idea of the fear and crazyness that comes with something that rules over your life..
i always hear people saying see a psychiatrist without ever hearing there is also a chance it may not be that..
see a physician first.. then if they recommend a psychiatrist follow that up..
anytime you feel ill in any way a physician should always be the first choice..

Ceka.... WOW
I am terrified of spiders, and I can not imagine living in a house with those 2 types of spiders.

I would be just like you described or I would have just simply left, something, cuz there is no way I could have handled it.

I thought I saw a brown recluse in a place I lived previously and I was scared for weeks, I could not sleep, was afraid to turn out the lights, etc

I can totally understand that fear

if i had known before i bought it and moved in i would have never signed..but i figure now..my house is probably more anti recluse and widow than any other in Tennessee..i have a 5ft barrier that goes around my house of this stuff i put down..it's like razor blades to them and eats up their exoskeleton..spiders have their bones on the outside of their body so when they get on that they are done..
recluse are not aggressive but wolf spiders are and they seem to really help..
i don't let anyone kill my good spiders..i've seen recluse caught in webs of smaller spiders and made into food..plus i hear crickets with kill them too..not sure i want a bunch of them in my house..the noise would drive me back to no sleep again lol
i have to say though..i'm nowhere as scared of them as i used to be..
i found a black widow the other day the size of a quarter..
i flicked her on the abdomen and thats all it takes..they kind of pop hehehehe
they are pretty but a very scary pretty..recluse are just plain ole ugly..

Have you considered moving to another country?.

Edit (Just had a look at where they live):

Or another state?

congrats on overcoming that...if I see a spider I generally throw things at it from across the room, hoping I hit it....

Um....

I'm not entirely sure this conversation is making any difference since our poster has not responded in oooohhh.....5 pages........hope she's ok.

I have Hashimotos too.....figured it out 6 years ago when my neck started feeling weird and swelling........got a biopsy....only have half a thyroid. It's been no big deal to control......except for the nasty 6 months I went thru where I found out I'm apparently one of those people who reacts to Synthroid like a toxin. Bad bad stuff.....gotta take the pig hormone now. LOL

Anywho....I tried shooting her an IM in-world......just to let her know that human beings are not all stuck-up and rude. No reply. Again, this worries me....but it's out of our hands. I just hope someone else in her life is there for her.

I was starting to feel really depressed a week or so ago, and then the sun came out for the first time in months. I went outside and literally just walked around and sat in the sun for a few hours and felt SO much better. I'm going to buy a full-spectrum lamp for next winter. I didn't realize the physical impact of no sunlight had on me until I was able to soak up some rays. Sounds trite but it's true.

And now he comes to the Hangout sometimes just so us ladies will stare at his ass and tell him how fab it is.


Really, he just likes to taunt us cuz we know we can't do anything more than stare at it.

Unfortunately, the internet is full of both types of folks. Likely we will never know.

/me spits coffee all over the monitor.


This just came way to early - I'm wasn't really even fully away yet. Now that I've damn near fallen out of my chair and have to clean my monitor, I'm awake now.


ROFLMAO.

I've heard this about the sun a lot. Glad we get as much sunshine as we do here and I don't have to maybe deal with that.

And I have heard that the lamp really does help a lot.

Wow - this one sort of reminded me of The Thread -- lots of catching up and posting needed this morning.

For your reading enjoyment. Seasonal Affective Disorder:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/seasonal-affective-disorder/DS00195

See, you shouldn't have left Arizona. Definitely not a problem here.

*LOL* You can laugh, but overkill like this, to kill a spider for a person terrified of spiders is not that far off. I can empty an entire new can of Raid on one bug (any bug really not just spiders) until the thing is floating and swimming in a pool of it. They just don't die fast enough. My husband says they have rights too and I say not in my house they have NO rights. If you want rights, stay outside. Blech

But don't hurt cats . . .

Pep (Funny ol' world isn't it?)

Right. The key is, anything with more than 4 legs is fair game. Because, they can run faster than I can. The more legs you got the faster you can go. Can't stand 'scuttling'.

I love the darkness.

The best thing about waking up at 3-4am is that it is dark outside and the house is dark, everything is so serene....and then the sun comes out. When i was a teen i loved the sun and the beach but now i love the darkness.

Amazing what people will do to get away from you.

i just hate that they are so small..if they were the size of a cat or dog there would be less and we could just shoot them with a gun..
then we wouldn't need the Orkin man explaining in detail each bug in the house.

ORKIN man: Oh yes they are a fine specimen..i bet you did know we had scorpion in Tennessee did you miss??

Ceka:Ummm not until now!1 thanks a lot for entering that fear into my life..

ORKIN man: OMG Look at the size of that damn Spi
*BAM!!!!*
*Ceka blows the smoke from the barrel to her gun*Were ya just gonna stand there all day admiring it?!!!

I was bit by a spider while hiking through a forest once. It created a tiny sink hole in my hand and i was in a panic thinking it was a brown recluse bite. Turned out to just be a nasty bite.

Last week i was sitting here at 4:30am in SL and a spider ran across my finger and keyboard - I freaked out and was afk for a while after that.

to the op
your profile mirrors what you have said here
the comments on the picks made me feel you found nothing good at the places you put there - maybe better to just leave them off

if you have been without a lot of person to person contact in rl it can change your perception
and that carries over to sl

help island is full of people
some are there to get help
some are there to meet other people
some are there to jerk your chain

but it is a good place to just sit back and listen to (read) conversations
a good place to hop into a conversation without having to continue a long one-on-one banter if you don't want to
or don't feel comfortable
a good place to try out being around people because how much you participate is up to you

ummmm....perhaps this is what she is talking about. People talking all around her as if she doesn't exist.

Consider how many times you used the word "I" in your post. It's hard not to, because you want to relate in some way....but maybe try using the word "you" in your next post or IM to her.....and maybe take the chit chat that isn't directly related to giving Cassandra a comforting word or a simple acknowledgment that she's still here and being thought of, to another thread.....as a thoughtful gesture.

Cassandra....hope you're feeling better today....hope you had a nice visit with Sable....hope you get a chance to return all those IMs from genuinely concerned people.....hope you called someone in RL as well...even if it's a stranger....hope today is just a bit brighter for you.

Hope you take those who reached out one on one as an example that people in RL will do the same, if you let them....those are RL people who contacted you.....they're just not near you.....a gentle touch or a comforting smile from someone near you is going to help.....and hopefully take the pressure off long enough to steer you in the direction of someone well equipped to get you back on track.

You hang in there....and you take care.