Do people just not like me?

Why are people so stuck up in this game? I've been playing this since November 2008 and most of the people I've met were stuck up snobs or liars. But yet I hear of people falling in love with someone they met in here, or being adopted by someone, becoming best friends. So why haven't I had any of that?

I'm an agoraphobe in RL so I was using SL to meet people(it gets lonely being agoraphobic) but I just can't meet anyone that's not a snob or says one thing but they mean something entirely different. I guess I'm just not very likeable or attractive to people.

I....I....I dunno what to say, Cassandra.

SL reflects much of the social conventions of the real world; but with a bit of snottiness. Perhaps, it's because we bring out own personality into SL behind a mask of anonymity. That can turn people selfish and crass..especially, in the evenings after a long day at work, or having to deal with the real world in some fashion or form.

Whatever the answer is for you, I hope you do well.

Say no more...

I can't speak for anyone else, but calling people "stuck up snobs" and "liars" is pretty unattractive to me, not to mention uninformative. It's hard to get a sense of how folk have been responding to you without a bit more detail. What happened, exactly, with other folk that bothers you? What did you say, how did they respond, what happened that you didn't like? If you give a bit more detail it might be possible to take a few guesses as to what might be going on. Without more detail, it's impossible to tell.

im by no means an expert on this but . usually ppl mirror yourself.. what ever u are sending out they are sending back hope this helps u and good luck and enjoy your sl experience . it will get better

Having "people in sl are stuck up snobs" in your profile will not help your situation.

Hmmmm.....

Not entirely sure where or how you're going about meeting new folks.......but lets start with a bit of confidence first! I doubt very much that you're disliked by everyone that you meet. Perhaps you need to expand your scope a bit. Maybe join some groups of interest.......try to involve yourself with like minded people.

And also remember......not everyone using SL has the same agenda......some people are NOT interested in being themselves at all (which is their right) while others just sort of take it all in as an extension of their real social experience.

My guess would be....maybe....since you suffer from Agoraphobia (and I'm so sorry to read that, it must be extremely difficult and I do empathize!) .... that you just haven't had enough exposure to social environments in the real world. I'd imagine that would make SL a bit of a challenge, even tho you WANT the company......doesn't mean you'll feel entirely comfortable seeking it out.

But...back to the confidence bit......don't beat yourself up, just because others seem to be less then friendly.......read profiles......explore places that interest you.....be friendly, but don't come on too strong or too desperate.....just be yourself.....

Or.....take this in a new direction entirely and look for a Role Play area (if that interest you) and try to first immerse yourself in playing a character...... as it could help you adjust to the transition by first 'pretending'...... and then maybe once you feel comfortable doing that.......you can shed the RP persona and do a bit of socializing as yourself.

Just some thoughts.......but don't give up.....SL has the potential to be a wonderful tool for you to re-connect with the world outside your door.

lol are u kidding me ? that is what is in the profile? like i say.... you reflect your self. look at it this way.. its like u are looking in a mirror.. what u present is what u get back . just like in rl . same everywhere .

I suffer from agoraphobia and SL is great place for me. I guess it really comes down to what you are trying to accomplish in SL.

I think you should search the Groups for "Forum Cartel", and join that group. They have lots of chats, and sometimes dancing and general gatherings at the hangout.

SL is just like RL and many people do not go out of their way to make friends. You just have to try to associate yourself around places a lot of people are and eventually someone will talk to you, and so will someone else, and another, and so on. It is a slow process.

Also try exploring things that may not initially interest you. There are lots of different social aspects and people to involve yourself with.

Hang in there.

What is it, "Nasty people wonder why no one likes them day?"

I'll check the rotation schedule.

Well I guess I'm better off leaving SL and killing myself. Fuck all of this crap.

I don't care to go into detail about what has happened. It's just the usual crap I have to go through with people that has made me agorphobic in the first place. But when I try to talk to someone about what's bothering me nobody cares, ignores me, or tells me to fuck off, people I thought were friends.

just chill out Cassandra . it will pass . we all have bad times . just remember it will pass. just as good times pass so will the bad.

cass...if you are talking about killing yourself, you need to turn off the computer and call someone in RL who can help you....preferably a professional. While sl can be a great place to meet people, it has all the same difficulties and challenges of RL relationships. i find that in SL i am kinda more of myself rather than really something different. so this medium may actually be intensifying the challenges you face in RL.

Good luck to you...but please dont depend on SL friendships to solve things. You need RL help for that...

I have a strong distrust for psychiatrist that's why I tried talking to people in SL.....and why it bothers me so much that people act like this.

I don't really want to live anymore after all this. So that's it.

Most people don't want to know your problems. Even, so called, friends. SL is mostly a place for relaxation and fun for almost evryone....being told of personal problems is not what people want to hear. It spoils the experience for them.

Perhaps you can try to ignore your problems while you are in SL........pretend they don't exist. I think people will respond much better to you........and you'll most likely have a more pleasant time yourself. Give it a try.

But, as far as stuck up, snotty people in SL..............yep, there are some. And, it's getting more and more prevalant too. Just ignore those types. That's what I do.

unfortunately most people who are not counselors or psychiatrists are not equipped to help or handle the kind of upset you are enduring. They have their own issues, stresses, etc and being able to help you solve yours is just something most people are not capable of.

Please do yourself a favor and contact someone in RL you DO trust, a family member, doctor, clergy members, friend, coworker or even just call 911 and let them know you are at your wits end and need some help. Unfortunately as much as some of us might like to listen and help you....a public internet forum really does not allow us to do so.

I am sorry you are in distress...but you really NEED to contact someone in RL rather than continuing to post here where you will just continue to be frustrated and not get the help you are seeking...

I don't have anyone I can turn to in RL.

And I've always said if I can't talk about my problems with a friend then they aren't my real friend.

The world is selfish, uncaring place. Most people will not care about you if you aren't a family member or they haven't known you for years. We shouldn't be like that with eachother. We should treat everyone with love, compassion, understanding..in other words, like family. But you are all incapable of that.

Not wanting to hear someone out because YOU want to relax is selfish. I've relaxed and talked to someone at the same time. And not talking to someone because you don't know them isn't the way it should be. I would talk to anyone, help anyone if I could and I didn't ignore them or act like a bitch if I couldn't...or I would simply listen if they needed someone to talk to. I DON'T care if it's a family member, best friend, or complete stranger. But it is hard for me to be like that when it seems I'm the only one..

try changing where you hang out..try creating something..get some things in common with people in here from a few different places..
the only way to beat a phobia is to meet it head on..
i used to be terrified of spiders..the house i bought was infested with brown recluse..talk about not sleeping well for awhile..but after killing a bunch it really isn't so bad anymore..

i'm not saying go kill a bunch of people or anything like that..

just go mingle in some different places that you may not have tried..you never know ..you may find your nitch in some place you never thought you would be in..

Cassandra- there are also people who get their jollies pressing others buttons- you might have had the misfortune to run into that sort a bit more often lately. Besides, the fact is, most of the time one tends to project their expectations.

Just read your profile - it really is not terribly friendly towards the end. I found your interests - interesting. You mention Philosophy - I used to belong to one group called the Roadside Philosophers- that was entertaining for awhile- you might look them up. You definitely should talk to someone in the physical world about the depression. If you don't want to see a psychiatrist, you might try your family doctor. Sometimes a prescription for about a month's worth of some particular anti depressive might be all you need. It may not feel that way now, but there is a brighter tomorrow- there ALWAYS is. Don't give up - and when you are feeling lighter- rework your profile. You can include much of what you have without wording it so brusquely.

Ultimately, you are responsible for your SecondLife - you cannot depend on others to make it happen for you. In any case, I do wish you well.

"I believe in being myself regardless and expressing myself. You could say that I am rebel. I accept others for who they are regardless, which I believe everyone should do.

My interests are nudism, philosophy, pursuit of freedom, Ancient World history, and motorcycles.

What am I searching for in Second Life? I was searching for friends and maybe something more but I see there's no hope in that for me so I've given up hope for now. People are too frustrating. And SL is full of stuck up snobs."

Okay, off the top of my head, when I read a profile like this I figure the person won't take kindly to me talking to them. I've run into a lot of people who basically say "piss off" in their profiles, so I automatically don't try to talk to them.

Maybe you're just going to the wrong places?

Here's a suggestion:
Make your profile a little less. . .abrasive and down on yourself (and others). You don't have to make it all skittles and puppies, but take a look at other people's profiles and figure out what makes things work for them.

I find it incredibly easy to talk to people, which is a good thing considering my job is to talk to people and to make them feel welcome. If you were to turn up at one of the clubs I'm playing, I would try to strike up a conversation with you, because I do that with everyone. Particularly newbies, because they often have the roughest time here.

*shrug*. I won't judge you till we've actually talked inworld, should you ever decide to, but bear in mind that often the first impression we all get IS your profile.

Cassandra,
People I have met on SL are not stuck up and have been very friendly. Maybe it is where you are meeting people. Or maybe it is what you say. But I have made friends here.

Examine what you are saying. Don't be negative. Check your profile and make sure that there is nothing negative on it.

You might also try some RL internet forums and support groups for agoraphobia. I don't know, but I assume a Google search for agoraphobia will turn up some sources of help. I have participated in many forums, chat groups, message boards, etc. on the internet and have made friends on these.

Also, don't jump to the conclusion that people are stuck up or snobs until you have made an effort to get to know them. Some people are just awkward and come across the wrong way.

Good luck, and keep trying.
Mary

Well the maternal side of me wants to be all comforting and sympathetic

but the realist side of me isn't as nice

so I will shut up now and go eat some worms

oh boy.