Do people just not like me?

You are in a depressive spiral and need to speak to the proper authorities so you can be placed on medicine to lessen the severity of these depressive moments because doing this on a public forum is really a bad sign and a cry for help.

Psychiatrist are not bad, one saved my life.

Cassandra

Alot of relationships in SL take time to develop. I changed avies a few times til one really started developing. It's also part of why I have blue hair. It was bumming me out that I wasn't meeting people. It took about 3 months before I really started meeting people, one of whom is my partner.

With time I became more and more comfortable and started branching out into different communities in SL. Many times, I am almost really too shy to even start talking to people in SL that intrigue me. In RL I am shy almost to the point of being mute.

Sometimes it might seem like the worst thing someone could say is to take a hike. But they might also have lots in common with you too. You don't know if you don't try.

This. You have to get help from someone. At the very least, maybe a volunteer call in line to start, but you have to talk to somebody. I understand your mistrust of psychiatrists and psychologists, I am wary of them too. But there are times where they are the only people who can help you, where medication is necessary to help you get off the floor so you can help yourself.

I've been there, I had my own episode several years back. I resisted all intervention for months thinking I could get through it. I wound up quitting my job, leaving my home and getting in my car and just driving aimlessley for about a month, stopping wherever, sometimes not leaving a motel room for days. Finaly a total stranger convinced me to get help, and I did, 6 months of therapy with medication was needed to get me back on track.

If you really are hurting like this, talk to somebody. ANYBODY will do to start.

I'm usually not so ready to blame other people for my friendship problems. My friends list is constantly in flux of people who want to care for me or are sick of my drama or have been offended by something I did or are attracted to what offenses I've done. (>_<

Really, to many people, I've proven myself to be a lot of trouble. I'm combative, deviant, argumentative, demanding, and a serious attention whore. So, when people walk away, I don't blame them. (>_<

I've never really had a social life before SL. I don't know if I have any phobias or any other things with fancy medical names because I don't really want to find out. But, as a result, I find I have to be willing to accept what comes from my cruddy personality and behaviour. Really... What actually confuses me are the people that come back. Some people remember my "friendship/friends list" thread. I was in a serious emotional low at the time. My friends list was nearly drained of all but a select few of my closest friends and professional contacts. I really wanted to understand what I was doing wrong. At the moment, I think I still don't understand, and I'm still causing problems for the people I say I like. (T_T)

If anything. Be mindful of your behaviour. Accept that people are people are you really have been meeting a pile of self-absorbed retards up until now. And, there are better people around. It doesn't take drama to find them and you won't know who they are under normal circumstances. I know I don't appreciate my friends enough. I fear that one day my toxic personality will destroy the ties between me and them and at that point it will be too late. (>_<

For now, the people I like the most tolerate me. It's the best I can ask for. To expect more would truly be selfish. (>_<

I used to feel the same way, that no one liked me, and no matter what I did or said, I still felt that way, except mine was not in world, mine was right here, on these forums.

Well, I finally realized it doesn't matter if people like me or not, what matters is that I like me.

You can not expect folks to take an interest if you are going to show them a negative side of you. Your profile (from what I have seen quoted here) starts off really good, then it nose dives.

Remove the negative part, leave the start, and just be patient.
Do not expect anyone to always listen to your problems, nor expect everyone to like you, not everyone will.

Just meet people, talk about the weather or something, and if a friendship develops and you both feel comfortable sharing RL stories, ailments, etc, then follow that path at that time.

If you want to im me and get in touch and have a friendly chat, I am willing to listen, but be prepared to listen as well, because it is a 2 way street.

I can not help you with the thoughts of suicide, for that you really should contact someone in RL that is trained to help (since you said you have no friends or family to turn to) I am guessing you have a phone... use it to reach out.

You stating that you might as well kill yourself is a cry for help, now call someone who can answer that cry for help and give you the help you deserve.

If nothing else talk to your GP or OB-GYN. They can get you started on some meds to moderate your moods.

oh hell ya!!

I recently found out I have an under active thyroid

been taking meds for a month now and I am starting to feel the change, my mood is better, thoughts of life is not worth it and everyone hates me has lessened, I am even starting to get some energy back.

It is amazing what just one thing going wrong can cause to a person, both physically and mentally.

Cassandra, you are feeling alone and like people don't understand, is that right? and you think that killing yourself could end your pain. I know that you are probably feeling terrible right now.

I promise you people care. I care and we've never even met. The people in this forum care.

Please I urge you to call the suicide hotline where you are. The people there care very much and you will find an ear.

If you are in the U.S. you can call 1-800-784-2433. That's the National Suicide Hotline.

Please write back and let us know how you are doing.

Yay!!! It's Friday!!!!!!


That's all I have to offer, I'm terribly sorry.

i have to tell the rest of you to please take this seriously. Be cynical if you want, but it's a cry for help. And please treat it as such or just don't say anything.

TO be fair, you don't know anyone here and, as such, are woefully unequipped to make such a judgment call.

Yes, we should all treat each other with caring, understanding, and compassion, but before you go off expecting it from others, you better be dishing it out first yourself in spades.



Hardly.

Again, you don't know us. You don't know that we haven't just had one of the most miserable days of our lives today, and to have someone, some random stranger, just toss his / her cookies in our lap as a capper would simply NOT be welcome. You're not unique here in having problems. There are plenty of people here with all kinds of RL problems, handicaps, emotional troubles, financial troubles, etc. Your particular brand of suffering hardly trumps anyone else's.

That's life. You either deal with it, or don't.

..and please, PLEASE, for all that is holy, DON'T threaten suicide over SL. It really isn't worth that level of angst. Truly.

Killing yourself doesnt end the pain. It just moves it from you onto those who love you most. Pain that neither they nor you will ever be able to make go away if you are dead. Maybe dying will stop you from feeling it anymore but it doesnt stop the pain. Not at all. If you are feeling it bad now then you already know how bad it is going to be for those who love you, when you give it to them, as you surely will if you kill yourself.

Why do people kill themselves ??? Nobody loves me ??? Not True. Not Ever True. People do love you. They always have and they always will. Is just that the pain is blinding you to this. Is just what pain does to us and is a real bummer when it does.

Pain is not worth dying for. Is far more worthy things to give up your life for. Choose another reason if you must. Is nothing even tragic about killing yourself in fit of suicidal depression. Pitiful yes. Tragic no. And pain. Lots of it.

Get help. This kind of pain can be overcome when not fought alone.

Cassandra, welcome to the forums!

SL is full of friendly and helpful people, it's kind of like a really nice city that way.

But even if you walk down the street of the friendliest city in the world, you can't expect huge amounts of attention and help from strangers you pass on the street. They have their own lives, their own problems. You CAN expect a smile, a helping hand if you have a question or drop something, a ride home if you're lost.

Now, about you. You sound pretty young to me, which is fine. All it really means is that you have a lot of time to straighten things out, and a lot of people who would be willing to help you. But ... for the kind of intense attention and help you require, you need to reach out in the real world. If you are living with parents, or in a relationship where you don't want to expose these feelings, there are still lots of people around to help. You could reach out to volunteers at help lines, teen OR adult drop-in centers, church groups, lesbian support groups (I see in your profile that you have an interest in lesbianism) ... really, there's a lot of resources that AREN'T psychiatrists.

I'm sure that you are dealing with folks in the real world as you did in entering these forums - with a fear reaction that comes off as hostility.

Take a deep breath and let others help you. In real life. You were very courageous to post this thread - keep that up, dare to call or drop in at a real world place that EXISTS to help you.
.

Cassandra,

Please don't think about killing yourself over this. It really is not the answer to anything. Please. Don't.

Yes, people in SL can seem a bit snobbish if you meet them inworld. That's because of the throwaway identities in SL. When you meet someone in RL you don't have to worry about them not being a real person but being someone's alt that they are using to trick you. I actually once had a content creator accuse me of being an alt of one of their competitors trying to stop them working by asking them questions to distract them.

But there are good people out there. It can take a while to meet them - because people in SL can log off and just disappear, "right place at the right time" has a whole new meaning. Explore and spend time around, and the forum cartel is a great place to start.

I know how you feel. I've felt it myself in a different way, but the feeling of "I've failed even in a virtual world so what hope can I have in the real?" is familiar to me. And it's wrong. The virtual world is different. Not better or easier. Just different. Nobody really has a clue how they're going to end up working; no-one has even built a virtual society before. Don't judge yourself by it.

This may sound trite, but learn to love yourself before asking others to do the same. Life becomes a lot easier to deal with.

Not many people know this, but I also suffer from agoraphob and social anxiety.
It was so bad, I couldnt leave my house until night time, and would panic just going into a grocery store.
I had to get on meds, my anxiety was crippling..the meds have helped my anxiety, and Im back to my jolly ol self..although I still dont leave my house until night time..lol..maybe Im just a vampire.
If you need someone to talk to, who is kind of in the same situation, I mean I DO know what it feels like to be that way. I'd be happy to chat..just throw a rock at me!

Same here except I have an underlying problem that caused the thyroid disease: Hashimoto's Disease. At first we thought it was bi-polar but discovered it was a physical problem instead. I have been on Synthroid 6 months and have experienced the best 6 months of my life: clear headed and I love life again.

Cassandra, you can't depend on people for happiness. This is why you're going through what you're going through. But you have to trust a psychiatrist if you truly, truly want to get beyond this. Don't be a victim to your own stubbornness.

Most people I've come across in SL are friendly. I have met a few stupid, rude or downright troublemaking types, but I can't think of any snobs. The only real snobbishiness I've seen has been directed towards newbies.

I am the Princess of Jeogeot (the Southern Continent) yet I'm ordinary, down-to-earth and totally unsnobby. *I claimed the vacant title about a year ago!

My suggestion is to find some new places to visit, some new people to meet.

Cassandra, you have got it all wrong. All the people in SL are lovely, wonderful persons (especially in the Undying Thread - you should go over there and bore them to death with your concerns; you would feel right at home) who love fluffy animals and tieing each other up with duct tape and . . .

Pep (Oh, and Cassandra isn't my alt, and neither is Annabel, but please feel free to keep your paranoid suspicions going, as it amuses me mightily)

What Rha said.

Cassandra do get yourself to a doctor and get things checked out - never underestimate what a silly thing such as a hormone imballance can do to you!

Rha - very glad to hear you are feeling more the thing now and I hope Cassandra will be back on an even keel soon too. There's space for everyone here.

so many people are on medications it seems..there are so many reasons why people have different disorders..
my father used to have these anxiety attacks that would pop up...we used to have to take him into the hospital they were so bad..the acid reflux from them was burning up his esophagus..they showed us pictures of it and it looked pretty scary..

after a couple of years of being tied to pills as he called it and having side effects worse than the cure.. he finally looked into other ways of going about it to get off the medication..

he looked into why it happens..what could be the causes of his problem..
he found out that for just about every medication you would get from a psychiatrist you can get from either the grocery store or a health food store or even a natural alternative from your doctor..you just have to say you want a natural alternative to them most times..

that most times it is something you are either abusing like caffeine or too much soda ect ..
or something your body is not getting..like enough sleep or salt or iron or vitamins..

in just about every online gaming forum i go to there is always a thread about disorders and what do you do to help yours..if you mention sleep most say..whats that? well that is probably why they are on a pill..hehehehe

it's amazing how many people in the world are on medications of some kind..

they taught us in school that stress brings on other illness..

you can't battle stress if you are not healthy..you can set it aside for a bit with a drug..

the human body is a delicate machine..it wasn't meant to eat chemicals..
this is why drugs have side affects and the natural alternative doesn't..

you'd be suprized what good rest and treating your body right can do for the mind and the body..
get in tune with yourself and you won't need to go see someone to tell you whats wrong with you..
because most physiological problems stem from your lack of something in your diet or over use of something..

I'm not talking about traumatic experience like a car wreck that gives you nightmares..

here is a short term example..
stay up all night drinking coffee or tea and then see if you feel like getting in a crowd and doing some Christmas shopping or if you feel like getting the hell out of there..

or stay up all night drinking booze and see if you feel like getting outside the next day and chopping some wood..

the only cure is rest and letting your body get the impurities out of you and then filling up on the good things before you end up feeling good again..

all i am saying is if you really want to get better use what your body won't reject..
the short term i feel good coud be the cause of a liver problem years down the road or some other body filters

And you know, for a woman, the pre-menopausal stuff can be a 10 year thing -- hitting in the late 30s or early 40s -- and since that is definitely screwing with the hormones, depression is very common.

Learn to laugh at the absurdity of life. Instead of getting worked up over other people's mannerisms or action (or lack thereof) laugh at their silliness. Learn to laugh at yourself too. It really helps. Sit yourself down and watch a bunch of light humour and comedy films. There's too much darkness and angst in the world as it is but with a careful bit of filtering it's easy enough to find material that will tickle your funnybone and get you laughing again.

Laughter is great medicine. It worked for me.

i did a search real quick to see if i could find anything on agoraphobia.google is filled with all kinds of great information..hope this helps..

Leaving the comfort zone

Heart palpitations, shaking, sweating, difficulty swallowing, increased heart rate, shortness of breath, and trembling are considered normal responses if facing a life-threatening situation or catastrophe… sometimes these symptoms happen in situations where there is no real danger – only a temporary feeling of insecurity or nervousness about leaving your ‘comfort zone’, usually home.

A comfort zone is relative and different for each individual. Some people find themselves scared of certain settings that may present unexpected challenges or demands. Individuals may also sense feelings of unease when traveling to places where they fear help would be difficult to obtain, further cementing the feeling of helplessness.

Often the social consequences of ‘losing control’ in public may also present an added dimension of concern, creating a hard-to-break cycle. During this phase, adrenaline is released into the bloodstream in large amounts for several minutes causing the classic "fight or flight" response. These emotions typically have an abrupt onset, building to maximum intensity within 10 to 15 minutes, but rarely last longer than 30 minutes.

Usually the body is able to maintain balance by combining information from the vestibular system, the visual system, and the proprioceptive sense. Individuals who fear large crowds, fear leaving the house, or fear open spaces may have weak vestibular functioning and consequently rely more on visual or tactile signals.

The natural way

It is important to relieve the fear and anxiety associated with leaving a comfort zone and entering a new environment, it is just as important to naturally support a healthy attitude to change and challenge.

Eating a balanced diet containing adequate vitamins and minerals can go a long way to promoting balanced mood and the ability to deal with stress. Feelings of being over-sensitive, delicate or ‘overwhelmed’ can also be aggravated by a lack of sleep. Drinking 8 glasses of water and exercising regularly will also release feel good chemicals in the brain and support a positive attitude.

Don't worry about it too much, Cassandra. I know loads of nice folk who don't like me at all. Fortunately I also know some great folk who think I'm peachy keen.

It's all part of the high jinks we call SL. Give it a little time and you won't give a damn either.