How to tell someone they look like a noob?

God bless ya, Tangodog. I had fallen for my sweetie while I still had Lindenesque skin and when I was ready to buy a good skin, he didn't want me to do it... thought I was beautiful as I was and didn't need a new skin to be more beautiful. That meant a lot to me. I love that man!

I'd read other forums before I made an avi. So when I got to SL, I knew I looked like a newb and ran from orientation island to a place that sold skins and hair. Yes, it sounds shallow, but I knew I'd be made fun of if I hit the mainland with that pasty linden skin. Point is, hopefully people realize they look new when they get off the boat and won't need any prodding. But, if they do know they look new and like their avi the way it is and want to keep it, that's fine with me.

I...I... ...I think I would fall for it hahahaha

~Lana Tomba

I agree with Broccoli. That said, there are times when it is important to put on a certain appearance. For example, I make clothing in world, and believe me, no one wants to buy clothing from someone done up in newb gear. If someone wants to get involved in the BDSM scene, then they are going to have to dress/look the part, otherwise people won't play with them. Same for Gor, and a number of other scenes. However, if their appearance does not factor into what they do (ex. scripting, building, sight seeing, people watching, whatever) then there is really no reason to comment. It sounded like the OP's concearn was more for some folks who'se SL experience is being impacted by their appearance, so, in such a case, TELL THEM! politely of course . It would be no different if, in RL your friend insists on going to job interviews in jeans and a tee shirt and never gets hired. Of course you'd tell them. If someone is a newb and just looks like a newb, if they ask for help, give it, otherwise leave them alone, if they've got a flight feather sticking out of their forheads, THAT might be more like the "psst your zipper is down" sort of thing. Then just ask, "hey, do you want any help?"
As for the male avatar accessories, it is dead difficult to find any that don't have the muscles painted on. I know, I've looked! My brother had a devil of a time trying to find skins and shapes. (Calico Creations was the only prim hair that looked good to him, and the only prim facial hair we could find). But I don't think that blaming the gent who got fed up with looking for a skin or shape is particularily fair. There is very little variety out there for men. And, since I'm in the market myself for a new skin, I'll add that there is a serious lack of good dark skins, plain skins, and shapes that are anything but 7' tall and 100lbs. So far, there have been only two or three places that I"ve found women's shapes that were remotely realistic. Anyhow, that's my bit on this topic, and now I"m hiding before the arguing starts again. BTW, personally, I run around with a boar's head on a full sized av most of the time (when I'm not doing photo shoots). Work that one out