just ignore and let this one die

*waves to spike*

Hugs, bro. Take care of yourself...b/c you do NOT want me coming there to get tough with you.

Best wishes Spike.

So question for you threadies. My 13 year old son has had three nosebleeds over the last two weeks. I know nosebleeds are common in children,but he has never had them before.I am a little concerned and will be taking him to the doctor on Monday. Don't really have a question...I guess I just want someone to tell me this is perfectly normal so I will stop freaking out...:/

Alright folks....

More on me & the Fiancee saga.....

We were talking seriously of getting married, having a place together, eventually kids, her going to school, etc.

THEN

We went to the Pittsburgh Anime Convention.

On the way, I mentioned about my apartment search. She said "But why? I'm moving to Kentucky in May". Uh, yea.

While at the Con, I met one of the girls she was moving to KY with. And some of her other friends. And lets just say, as much as I like Anime, I am NOT as far into it as some of these people! OMG! These are folks who got beat up for lunch money!!!

Anyways, While talking to her "friends", she whispered "Dont! They'd hate me if they knew we were back together."

Fast forward to a few hours later:

She was texting something to her friends. I said "Ya know, what you said bothered me", bringing up the whole I'm Still Moving To Kentucky thing and what she said about her friends. She starts to cry.

I said "Lindsey, I care deeply enough for you that I want to marry you & spend the rest of my life with you". She said "But my friends come first," and so on and so on.

So I laid it out- Its me or "what your friends say to do with your life" and then I said "I'm going home". Which is 28 miles away.

I said "Let your friends take care of you then".

I later texted "I'm in my car. You have 15 minutes to come down here & talk this out like an ADULT or sit there & cry like a child as usual".

No response.

So I came home. Working on getting plastered right now.

She has this 1 last chance at becoming responsible and realizing that she has a guy who would do ANYTHING in the world for her.

Yet- I'm the "asshole". Her friends say so. So she thinks so.

Its "what I want" because, yea, I want to live together, have her go to school & work here. She's already been raped going to a nightclub with a "friend". Good friends always watch each others backs, eh? I told her she needs councilling, but she kept saying "I'm over it". I dont think so- not with comments of "I hate men" and "I dont even want a woman".

This is her ONE last chance. I called her cell & left the message of "Either we talk this over like ADULTS or you go to Kentucky with your 'friends' and try to become a 'success'. And if you move, then dont fail there & come back expecting me to be here waiting".

I've already been on 1 date with a girl 2 yrs younger than the now Ex-Ex-Fiancee who already has her own place, is in college, and has a career going. The only reason I got back with the Ex was, 7 years is 7 years, and thats longer than most are married.

Maybe I'm too forgiving or too F*cking nice, but with the Ex, I understand she has "issues" that she needs to work out, so I give her more breaks than anyone.

Also- lets just say I'm finding myself VERY out of place at Anime Cons. And the merchandise is WAY over-priced!!!! Nice people tho! But I think it'd be worth a Psychololgist to study "why" these folks feel a need to dress up like their favorite cartoon. LOL! People were asking for their Autographs???!!!!! WTF?????

I went to hear the guest speakers (voice over actors) and watch some anime. Maybe pick up a few trinkets.

I love the girl deeply. Would kill for her, take a bullet for her, but this is the last straw.

Her ONE last chance.


FYI: She's 24, I'm 39. I've gone to college 3 times, gotten 1 degree by 25, another at 33, and another at 38. She's 24 & has dropped out of nursing school, only kept 1 job for 2 years then left it, and been fired or quit from others. I may have been "clueless" when I was younger, but at 23 I knew what I wanted to do & have worked several dozen jobs as a Temp trying to find a permanent one.

Does he have sinus problems? Or a Dry Nose? Does he tend to pick his nose?

Mine bleeds easily when its dry. And driving around all day I find myself picking my nose mindlessly while sitting in traffic. And since I've had a dry nose lately, it's bled a few times.

Going to? It already has.

When I worked in an office, all the women talked about was "sexual harassment". Then they asked me why, as the only male there, I was "so quiet"?

UMMMMMMMMM.... Because I'm afraid anything I say or do will be taken out of context & get me fired, fined & imprisoned???

I mean, ladies, all we think of is sex, food, sleep, beer, sex, food, sex. We're simple critters.

As for the whole "I'm not 'fat' I'm 'big-boned' or whatever they call it, and the whole 'african american' not 'black' "thing=---- Its good to not call someone fat, for that doesnt make them want to get in shape. Sounds mean, but yea, if you're sensitive about being overweight, then it seems like you should try to work on that.

If you prefer 'african american" thats all well & good..... IF you can prove your family came from Africa. Many black people came from Haiti and other places too. Shall I call them Haitian AMericans? And how shall I know that?

Political Correctness IS a bad thing. It sugarcoats things so our "sensitive" feelings arent hurt by truth.

If someone called me "Vertically challenged" I'd probably punch them in the throat for being a F*cking moron. Ok, not probably. I WOULD.

I may be vertically challenged, but I'm horizontally gifted

Tod, walk away for good. She may be 24 chronologically, but emotionally she is stil about 16.

Since you 're a goofball yourself, IF she acted like a 24 year old your age difference may not be a big deal, but it isn't going to work here. In spite of your "youthful exuberance" you at least understand there is a place for maturity and responsibility. She won't for a long time if at all. You'll just become "her old man".

My 9 yr old just started getting nosebleeds too about 4 months ago....real gushers out of the blue. In the middle of the night, in the store, at school. Before this he had never had one. I took him to the dr and was told that some kids have weak capillaries in their nasal passages and nosebleeds can occur when there's excessive dryness or when the weather changes. I was told not to worry too much about it unless it becomes a daily occurrence and then they do what is called cauterization of the capillaries.

BINGO!!

You're VERY correct.

It's been 3 hrs & not a single reply from her.

She's done.

Time to move on to the one who was 2 yrs younger, in college, has a job, and a future.

And yes, there is a time & place for maturity & responsibility and a time for goofy youthful antics.

I refuse to be someone's "cash cow". I've seen TOO much of that.

She is basically what I'd call a Stripper who doesnt strip. She entices you (oh god, what a body tho) and you spend the money, but thats all she's going for.

I'm being being "generous" and giving her till Sunday night to get it together. After that, its good bye.

I know, I'm being TOO fraking kind. But I was always the one to give a person a few chances to redeem their deeds.

We all make stupid mistakes.

And yes, Brenda, if she goes off to Kentucky and ends up coming back, I'd give her another chance. One LAST chance. BUT... with stipulations- Get a job, get into school. No more whining "No one here wants to hire me" or "They all require SAT scores". Which is odd since, I took the SATs, scored "decent" at it, BUT it wasnt required for the schools I went to. Same age as she too!

Aye, I have "youthful exuberance" like you wouldnt believe!!! Going on 40 & I LOVE LOVE techno! I love going to Raves!! I still enjoy my video games & playing on swings. I'm the first to break out my Yu-Gi-Oh cards and I'm even a registered player! I know what cartoons are on cartoon network but have no idea WTF is involved with mortgages.

We both led sheltered, but different lives. So yea, I know to give her some tolerance & leeway.

Sometimes the baby bird flies from the nest. Sometimes it just drops to the ground & dies.

But- I refuse to waste my life waiting for 1 girl to "find herself".

She has 1 last chance.

Eep I bet that scared the hell out of you. Thanks for the info. That makes me feel a little better.

OK typed a bunch of stuff and erased it.
Bottom line: If you are in doubt, the doctor is the right place to go. Your son's pediatrician can examine him for any possible causes, as well as give you some guidelines as to what is normal vs. what would indicate a need for treatment or urgent care.

the reason i have chosen this portion of your messages to quote and reply to is because.... i'm going to go ahead and just say it here, even though i have resisted since DAY 1 - and hope it's not offensive (it's certainly not meant to be)....

since the very FIRST time you mentioned her here, i've always had this impression that she looks to you as a father figure... you have also adopted that role in her life by 'taking care of her' although you may not have realized it.

i am so sorry for your pain, which is quickly becoming anger, and i hope you won't let that turn into vengeance. for you are a good hearted man.... i am sympathetic to your plight. i send you big ol friendship hugs because i know you have to grieve what could have been, for that is what you've lost here. you clearly love her. i know not in a fatherly way, but i think that's all it is for her. you have been wonderful to be so persistent, because it's obvious you only want what's best for her. but i don't think she is best for you. she's only going to hurt you over and over and over.

if you want to be her friend, and help her along until she finally grows up and gets her life straight, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. but Tod, i can't imagine you can ever be more than that to her. she is just not capable of the deep love you deserve. it's not her fault really, i think she is just so damaged from her abandonment during her youth, and now a violent violation of her body. you can be there for her, but i don't think you can help her.

but you can help yourself. and you deserve to be happy. just a little something for you to chew on. *hugs* if you need a friend inworld, i would love to help you through this. i know it hurts to face the realities. and, it just plain hurts. and i am deeply sorry.

Rioko, Malia is right - only the doctor can be certain. but the others replies are all what i would have suggested as an experienced mom of a nose-bleeder. too hot, bleed. too cold, bleed. too dry, bleed. and my sons's started in adolescence also.

a humidifier 24/7/365 made all the difference for us. if oyu have one, see if it helps between now and doc appointment. and keep us posted. i worry.

*hugs*

You sound like someone who is not ready to let her go. Your heart and your mind aren't on the same page here. Is it love, a desire to make the last 7 years meaningful, or a desire to save her (from herself)? What motivates you to keep trying so hard?

Take good care of yourself, Spike.

This is from a viewpoint of an outsider forming an opinion based solely on your posts today:

As to the soap opera fiancee, from what you say, she has already indicated clearly that 1) she wants to move away; 2) her friends are more important than you are; and 3) she doesn't want them to know you are even together. These are neon signs, not subtle hints.

As to moving on, if you are looking for a mature adult partner, then it seems that dating girls 15+ years younger might be the wrong pond to fish from... unless what you are really looking for is to feel like you are in college again.

Women over 30 are just as likely to have jobs and be self sufficient, but still like dancing, playing, singing, video games, and even *gasp* having sex. True, we might not have the same bodies we did at 24... but neither do YOU, whether you like it or not.

In any case I wish you well and hope you find a resolution to your heartache.

I am not even going to read what others wrote- i have been very nice and tried to pussy foot around it- but damn it- someone has to grab you by the neck and shake you!
Damn Tod- Grow up! This chick has issues- fine - so what? You are not her father- you have tried to be everything to her and she is using you - god damn it- stop now- get a real woman- one that can stand up for herself and live and let live and support you for a change- yeah i know - but damn it- u we know and u keep coming back to us- so damn it we care- now get your shit together and let her deal with her own.

I used to get them all the time right around puberty, especially when the seasons changed from winter to spring. I also used to be able to peel entire layers of skin from the soles of my feet around the same time. Both just sort of healed themselves.

[ETA: Oh, and that's when I started getting migraines too - once a week. It was hell. Humidifiers did help with the nose bleeds.]

Oh god, I really, really wish I hadn't read that.

ten past 1
Goodnight moon

ten til one.
beautiful, bright moon.

'oh i'd like to visit the moon
on a rocket ship high in the air
yes i'd like to visit the moon
but i don't think i'd like to live there.'
Ernie

Hugs to all. At the forum cartel clubhouse. Wish you were here.

you look so pretty.

psst: there's a pictorial thread right down there. we need pics of you doing stuffs. (even repeats are welcome, like draping yousrelf over pots of gold)

/me looks at Lula's pic and wishes *he* was there . . .

Pep ( . . . and won't even start explaining why he can't be!)

k! see you there! [[[hugs 3]]]