just ignore and let this one die

Why, oh why, oh why do I ever bother going to that political sub-forum across the street? Hell, that place is worse than our worst threads over here.

You're a masochist?

If you're talking about the Obama thread, I think you're overstating the case. One person said something not very nice, other people are just disagreeing with your point of view...it's actually pretty mellow. I've seen far worse on the official forums.

Yeah, to a degree. There is no real diversity over there, whereas over here I can at least usually get into a decent disagreeing discussion with plenty of folks on both sides jumping in. Seems so one sided stacked over there.

Most of the regular posters are pretty liberal...if you're on the other side of that at all, you may find yourself feeling 'ganged up on,' even when no one means it that way.

Only a bit of the "ganged up on" feeling, but mostly just wishing it felt more like one of the balanced debates/discussions that I have found on some other forums.

Live and learn.

Huggles All Threadies I slept all day maybe heading back to bed.
The stuff that bothers me about the liberal/conservative stuff is stuff the effects
me personally.
Truthfully I must confess conservative believes have always seemed bit stingy, I got mine,
if you don't have yours then starve because I want all mine and right to tell everyone what
to believe i.e Christianity.
But i have friends who are different then me and it doesn't make me care about them less.
In fact my my rl partner is Christian conservative.
His politics drive me nuts, it personally I think affects our sex life. We don't have one but
I love him and I glad he is my life even though there are some things I am very uncomfortable about with how he believes or thinks about but it is his right to do so.
I am not confrontational, I rarely say anything, I let others believe what they want but
sometimes certain policy have made me think maybe I would be better off dead then be alive American who burden on other taxpayers on my darkest moments.
It isn't anything personally against anyone elses believes it just something that gets to me and sometimes it harder then others times. I got winter blahs, tired, haven't been feeling too hot, the year is coming to end and I don't know if what will happen in our future but I don't know if politics really has the answers personally but the alternative I don't know. I do know when changes happen and things go on chopping block it isn't
the wages of Politicians, those with money, it usually those who are the most vulnerable regardless of who is office or power.

it's my favorite part of SLU. but, i haven't been over in awhile now. i found 'most' of the participants to be boring and closed-minded and hell-bent on equalizing gayness, instead of discussing actual politics. so i went back to my old political forum hangout where everyone is informed - and feisty in a polite manner. many SLU are just mean. i don't get it.

There was only one actual personal comment (and it was condemmed as such by others), but it is still much more fun to have the discussions when there are many people are both sides of the issue.

Wut.


No, they aren't. Just because it isn't the right niche for you doesn't mean it's OK to write people off like that.

Hi Everyone I need a little advice, here is the situation...

Lets say I had a big row with someone, things were said on both sides that were extremely harsh and (at least in my opinion) unable to be put aside. They also indicated in not so many words that they were done with me too.
Then I find that they have quietly visited my SL land the very day after the conflict.

What would you think their motives were?

a) Seeking reconciliation
I consider this very unlikely as an IM would have been more forthright and simpler.

b) Just didn't realize it was your land.
I am pretty sure they knew it was my land.

c) Seeking to cause some kind of trouble, continue the conflict or are initiating stalking type behavior.
I would really like to think this is not the motive.

d) Something else.
I am trying to wrack my brains to figure out if there could any other good reasons. Maybe you guys could help me come up with some?

What would you do? My first instinct was to want to ban them from my lands, which is what I have done. Given the fact I have had no contact with them since the argument it seemed the best course of action.

Past 3- going to bed- sweet dreams Threaples...

Dark One- it is ur best recourse- let it be if u r done. Nothing more can come of it- or it wd have been handled by now. Go quietly and let peace return to u.

Thanks Amara, sleep well, good night

Logged out there? So logged back in there? Picked something up they had out on your land?

Gabriele,
If I had said things that was out of line in anger I probably would apologize for my part and be distant but polite but sort of move on and focus on other things.
There have been times Friends of Friends have done things that upset me that I felt were
unkind, disrespectful and I got quite upset but most of time unless pushed in corner or just fed up I don't lash out, I just withdraw and keep to myself and do something else.
That is just my way.
Hugs, hope it works out for you whatever you decide.
FD

Gabby, sometimes harsh words are said in the heat of the moment. my best guess? probably seeking reconciliation, but ashamed to approach you. worse case scenario? prolly logged there.

give 'em the benefit of the doubt and let the situation cool off. if the friendship is true, it will resume as intended.

night threaders.

Hi Love, FD, Maggie

Thanks for your replies, I really appreciate them.

FD, I too tend to be the same on the withdraw part and as far as I was concerned the argument and the person was history to me. However finding that they had visited my land has got me concerned that they have not moved on and let it be but wish to cause problems for me in some way. I have never known this person to visit my land before and I would find it hard to believe that they just stumbled across my very unknown place especially at that time and not before. Too much of a coincidence.

Love and Maggie, I wish I could simply believe that, however I should tell you that to my knowledge the person in question has never been to my land whilst I have been there before, does it not seem odd that after the argument they would do that as a first approach for reconciliation?
They would not be picking anything up as I don't have build turned on there for anyone.
Also if they had logged there I would have known about their presence before the argument and would have given them the benefit of the doubt. I am positive they had only arrived at my land on the day after the argument.

I must admit to really struggling to see an innocent reason in all this as I would never go to the land of a person I had fallen out with like this without talking to them in some way first if I wanted to make up.
However let say I am wrong about it their motives, as I do consider it possible still. If I really do not wish to have this person around, is it unreasonable of me to ban them? Would anyone ban them due to a bad falling out and simply not want to deal with them again or should I try to rise above it and just let them come and go freely as I would anyone else? Has anyone else here banned someone they fell out with?

Good night Maggie, sleep well

If you want it over and not deal with them use the tools you have to avoid them.
You can mute, ban them from your land, story over....
The person in question may miss you, feel angry and hurt, lashing out and feel you were in wrong and should be punished who knows.
Either way you're not responsible for their actions or feelings, only your own unless you want to work things out with them.

Thanks FD I guess that is what I was looking for

In the past I have only needed to use my tools for banning people I don't already know and who had quite definitely started trouble on my land and so this has kind of thrown me a little and left me wondering what is the right thing to do.

(Edit out the tale cause Gabriele saw it not really relevant to anyone else but I blew up. whole lot of drama ensued and I had to back off and I realized who I was really responsible for... regardless of what happens I am only responsible for myself regardless of how horrible the other person has it even if I could out do them in tales of horrors and woes.)

Thank you for sharing that FD, there is a lot to be learned from your experience and insights. *hugs*

Now I go to my slumber, good night FD and to anyone else still tuned in.

Huggles, Goodnite.
You only can sleep for yourself too I am sorry I can't slumber for you. LOL

I don't think they are necessarily mean. You see them support someone who is hurting right aftr they have a go at them many times. For the most part, there are some very intelligent people there, just like here. And most are just secure in their beliefs. i do agree that the political tone of the forum does lean heavily to one side, and that give everyone a comfort level who reside in that one side. It makes a situation sometimes where a dissenting opinion is hard to get across. It's pretty much why I don't go into that sub forum, and I am usually not in agreement with a lot of the opinions in it. I like a lot of those people too much to get into an argument. You can't have a balanced discussion when the majorrity think one way. That's just human nature.

Although I arrived too late to be useful here are my thoughts.
1. There are billions of people in the world and you can't get along well with all of them so it's only sensible to let go of some relationships. I recommend avoiding spending time with people you don't enjoy. Banning this person relieves you both of some anxiety about future unpleasantness.
2. Anger is usually a reaction to a threat. When someone attacks our personal version of what is right we feel threatened. Afterward we feel a frustrated need to justify ourselves which usually leads us to make our case to third parties and sometimes leads us to do vaguer things like go to places where our adversary hangs out. Or more specific things like plan revenge.
3. Personally I've found it works well for me not to ascribe more sinister motives to other people than I have to. A few people over the years who actually had malice towards me have softened because I was assuming they were nicer than that. But I keep my doors locked because why ask for trouble?
4. We love you Gabi - forget that jerk.