just ignore and let this one die
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Pserendipity Daniels
Assume sarcasm as default
Join date: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 8,839
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12-07-2008 07:16
From: Gabriele Graves Hi Everyone  I need a little advice, here is the situation... Lets say I had a big row with someone, things were said on both sides that were extremely harsh and (at least in my opinion) unable to be put aside. They also indicated in not so many words that they were done with me too. Then I find that they have quietly visited my SL land the very day after the conflict. What would you think their motives were? a) Seeking reconciliation I consider this very unlikely as an IM would have been more forthright and simpler. b) Just didn't realize it was your land. I am pretty sure they knew it was my land. c) Seeking to cause some kind of trouble, continue the conflict or are initiating stalking type behavior. I would really like to think this is not the motive. d) Something else. I am trying to wrack my brains to figure out if there could any other good reasons. Maybe you guys could help me come up with some? What would you do? My first instinct was to want to ban them from my lands, which is what I have done. Given the fact I have had no contact with them since the argument it seemed the best course of action. Why don't you just ask the person what he was doing there? Pep (Sorry, I'm being male . . . )
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Kaimi Kyomoon
Kah-EE-mee
Join date: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 5,664
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12-07-2008 07:35
From: Pserendipity Daniels Why don't you just ask the person what he was doing there?
Pep (Sorry, I'm being male . . . ) She probably wants to avoid going through any more angry disagreement. I'm with you that the direct approach is almost always easiest. The most direct thing in this case is probably to just forget about it and put the mystery of what this other person is up to on the huge pile of unanswered questions that most of have already collected. I think Gabriele is currently in the stage of calming down from the altercation and working through the process of getting over it.
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Kaimi's Normal Wear From: 3Ring Binder i think people are afraid of me or something.
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3Ring Binder
always smile
Join date: 8 Mar 2007
Posts: 15,028
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12-07-2008 07:48
From: Brenda Connolly I don't think they are necessarily mean. You see them support someone who is hurting right aftr they have a go at them many times. For the most part, there are some very intelligent people there, just like here. And most are just secure in their beliefs. i do agree that the political tone of the forum does lean heavily to one side, and that give everyone a comfort level who reside in that one side. It makes a situation sometimes where a dissenting opinion is hard to get across. It's pretty much why I don't go into that sub forum, and I am usually not in agreement with a lot of the opinions in it. I like a lot of those people too much to get into an argument. You can't have a balanced discussion when the majorrity think one way. That's just human nature. this. Ann, i said 'many' are mean. not all.
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Amaranthim Talon
Voyager, Seeker, Curious
Join date: 14 Nov 2006
Posts: 12,032
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12-07-2008 07:49
Morning Denizens of the Thread.
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"Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. " Robert A. Heinlein  http://talonfaire.blogspot.com/ Visit Talon Faire Main: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Misto%20Presto/216/21/155- Main Store XStreets: http://tinyurl.com/6r7ayn
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3Ring Binder
always smile
Join date: 8 Mar 2007
Posts: 15,028
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12-07-2008 07:51
From: Gabriele Graves Then I find that they have quietly visited my SL land the very day after the conflict. if you are truly done with them, the mute and ban is a good idea for a little while. contrary, if they have malice intended they can simply employ an alt so banning for 'protection' really has no value. if it were me, i'd want to know when someone was on my land. in this case, unbanning and watching (tracking) would be a better option. you can always simply mute them if you don't want to hear from them again. *hugs* good luck.
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3Ring Binder
always smile
Join date: 8 Mar 2007
Posts: 15,028
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12-07-2008 07:52
From: Amaranthim Talon Past 3- going to bed- gosh, i didn't even see you go by. but i was so sleepy, i may have been walking with my eyes closed. 
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3Ring Binder
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Join date: 8 Mar 2007
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12-07-2008 07:54
good morning Amar. 
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Brenda Connolly
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Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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12-07-2008 07:56
From: Kaimi Kyomoon Although I arrived too late to be useful here are my thoughts.
1. There are billions of people in the world and you can't get along well with all of them so it's only sensible to let go of some relationships. I recommend avoiding spending time with people you don't enjoy. Banning this person relieves you both of some anxiety about future unpleasantness.
2. Anger is usually a reaction to a threat. When someone attacks our personal version of what is right we feel threatened. Afterward we feel a frustrated need to justify ourselves which usually leads us to make our case to third parties and sometimes leads us to do vaguer things like go to places where our adversary hangs out. Or more specific things like plan revenge.
3. Personally I've found it works well for me not to ascribe more sinister motives to other people than I have to. A few people over the years who actually had malice towards me have softened because I was assuming they were nicer than that. But I keep my doors locked because why ask for trouble?
4. We love you Gabi - forget that jerk. You are never too late to be useful. |
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Damien1 Thorne
Registered User
Join date: 26 Aug 2007
Posts: 4,877
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12-07-2008 07:58
Good morning threadies.
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As we fade into the darkness...
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Maureen Boccaccio
TWJKFA
Join date: 28 Feb 2008
Posts: 14,484
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12-07-2008 08:13
Good morning threadies!  It snowed here last night (well, OK..it was just a dusting, but it's still SNOW!!!)...everything looks so pretty. I call it "tourist snow", since it covers the grass, trees, and bushes, but not the sidewalks or streets. |
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3Ring Binder
always smile
Join date: 8 Mar 2007
Posts: 15,028
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12-07-2008 08:16
From: Maureen Boccaccio Good morning threadies! It snowed here last night (well, OK..it was just a dusting, but it's still SNOW!!!)...everything looks so pretty. I call it "tourist snow", since it covers the grass, trees, and bushes, but not the sidewalks or streets. ooh. pretty. i wish it'd do that here so i can take a pic with the xmas lights on. a dusting is the kind of snow i like. i need to move lower so i can experience snow, and not have to use a shovel.
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Amaranthim Talon
Voyager, Seeker, Curious
Join date: 14 Nov 2006
Posts: 12,032
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12-07-2008 08:20
I want snow  I am in shorts and a T-Shirt
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"Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. " Robert A. Heinlein http://talonfaire.blogspot.com/ Visit Talon Faire Main: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Misto%20Presto/216/21/155- Main Store XStreets: http://tinyurl.com/6r7ayn
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3Ring Binder
always smile
Join date: 8 Mar 2007
Posts: 15,028
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12-07-2008 08:23
From: Amaranthim Talon I want snow I am in shorts and a T-Shirt i want to wear shorts and a tshirt - year 'round.
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Brenda Connolly
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Join date: 10 Jan 2007
Posts: 25,000
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12-07-2008 08:25
Today is December 7th..........  |
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LittleMe Jewell
...........
Join date: 8 Oct 2007
Posts: 11,319
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12-07-2008 08:40
From: Amaranthim Talon I want snow I am in shorts and a T-Shirt /me gathers a few feet of the snow in the mountains here and sends it to Amara.
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♥♥♥
-Lil
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
~Mark Twain~
Optimism is denial, so face the facts and move on.
♥♥♥
Lil's Yard Sale / Inventory Cleanout: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Triggerfish/52/27/22
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/littleme_jewell
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3Ring Binder
always smile
Join date: 8 Mar 2007
Posts: 15,028
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12-07-2008 08:44
From: Brenda Connolly Today is December 7th.......... thank you, Brenda.
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3Ring Binder
always smile
Join date: 8 Mar 2007
Posts: 15,028
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12-07-2008 08:45
oh, i am just having the most scrumptious breakfast. the boys have all gone fishing so i am sneaking in a baked potatoe. with lawrys salt, pepper, basil, butter and parmesan cheese. it is SO yum! i haven't had a potatoe since May.
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Maureen Boccaccio
TWJKFA
Join date: 28 Feb 2008
Posts: 14,484
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12-07-2008 08:45
From: Brenda Connolly Today is December 7th.......... Stopped by the memorial this morning, inworld:  ( http://slurl.com/secondlife/Oahu/210/29/35) |
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LittleMe Jewell
...........
Join date: 8 Oct 2007
Posts: 11,319
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12-07-2008 08:45
From: Brenda Connolly ... i do agree that the political tone of the forum does lean heavily to one side, and that give everyone a comfort level who reside in that one side. It makes a situation sometimes where a dissenting opinion is hard to get across. It's pretty much why I don't go into that sub forum, and I am usually not in agreement with a lot of the opinions in it. I like a lot of those people too much to get into an argument. You can't have a balanced discussion when the majorrity think one way. That's just human nature. I did already know that, but still sometimes (against my better judgment) pop into that forum and spout my views. Therefore it is really my own fault that I don't get a balanced discussion.
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♥♥♥
-Lil
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
~Mark Twain~
Optimism is denial, so face the facts and move on.
♥♥♥
Lil's Yard Sale / Inventory Cleanout: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Triggerfish/52/27/22
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/littleme_jewell
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Maureen Boccaccio
TWJKFA
Join date: 28 Feb 2008
Posts: 14,484
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12-07-2008 08:46
From: 3Ring Binder oh, i am just having the most scrumptious breakfast. the boys have all gone fishing so i am sneaking in a baked potatoe. with lawrys salt, pepper, basil, butter and parmesan cheese. it is SO yum! i haven't had a potatoe since May. I'm telling. |
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3Ring Binder
always smile
Join date: 8 Mar 2007
Posts: 15,028
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12-07-2008 08:47
i edited.
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LittleMe Jewell
...........
Join date: 8 Oct 2007
Posts: 11,319
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12-07-2008 08:48
From: Pserendipity Daniels ...
Pep (Sorry, I'm being male . . . ) Keep being male please - We need the useless action-type suggestions occasionally to take our mind off of our female emotional outbursts.  
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♥♥♥
-Lil
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
~Mark Twain~
Optimism is denial, so face the facts and move on.
♥♥♥
Lil's Yard Sale / Inventory Cleanout: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Triggerfish/52/27/22
.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/littleme_jewell
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Maureen Boccaccio
TWJKFA
Join date: 28 Feb 2008
Posts: 14,484
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12-07-2008 08:50
From: 3Ring Binder i edited. so did I |
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3Ring Binder
always smile
Join date: 8 Mar 2007
Posts: 15,028
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12-07-2008 08:50
From: Maureen Boccaccio so did I 
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Pserendipity Daniels
Assume sarcasm as default
Join date: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 8,839
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12-07-2008 08:51
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I should know by now. Pep (You don't really want to *solve* problems, cos that would mean you couldn't talk about them so much)
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